My Cute Stumpy Thick End

There's a whole series of synonyms for the human rear end. Rump doesn't cut the mustard with me, as I just think of a slab of nicely grilled cow. See, that read differently from 'a nicely grilled steak' but it's the same thing in practice.

From Latin, meaning buttocks, the perfectly acceptable word 'nates' can sometimes be found in erotic fiction. It doesn't ring my bell; I guess because it is so rare it doesn't have the imagery of an ass in my perverted mind.

It's like 'turgid'. I know the word comes from Latin meaning 'swollen' or 'inflated' but every time I read that 'his cock became turgid', I remember how my English professor used to describe my prose style as 'turgid' (it probably still is). The word just has a negative connotation in my mind, but perhaps it works for you.

That, rather than showing off, is the point of this piece. Words have a history, usually a long convoluted one and almost always a personal history for the reader. I know a lot of women find 'cunt' too shocking to be sexy but I'm quite comfortable with it. In fact, knowing some prudish doctors thought up 'vagina' to protect my sensibility reinforces my unease with the word and preference for 'pussy' or 'cunt'.

In reading a lot of erotica (girls just gotta have fun), you can see words evolving. Even twenty or thirty years ago, a hero's 'shaft' 'slid into' or 'entered' the heroine's 'welcoming opening'. This generally seems naff to us today unless the context is right. These days, when you read the stories on the site, 'fuck my cunt' has changed from being nasty and aggressive to implying an intimate erotic urgency.

I like this trend but I do have a niggling worry. When these taboo expressions finally become soft and mushy, as they inevitably will, where are we going to find new words to convey raw sexual urges? History suggests that immigrant words from other languages or dialects are the most popular. So, you Chinese and Arabic scholars out there, any suggestions for some rude monosyllabic neologisms?

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Any feedback, advice, information, correction would be gratefully received.