My Wife Passed Away

A little over a year ago a colleague of mine passed away. At his wake, I was standing in the receiving line waiting to offer my condolences to his widow, Carol. Carol is a thin, attractive, seventy year old woman with long blond hair and I'm ten years her senior.

In the line in front of me was a younger man maybe sixty years of age. He had no female companion with him. He was by himself. I tried to make conversation with him but he was not friendly at all. When he got up to Carol, he took both of her hands into his and he began telling her how sorry he was for her loss. He went on telling her that he would be there for her and he would call her from time to time. That he would take her out for a drink. As he rambled on, I thought to myself, "My God man, her husband's body isn't even cold and you're hitting on her." That was my impression of him.

On this day it was very stressful for Carol and I'm sure she doesn't remember that I was standing right next to them, listening to him trying to hit on her.

After a rather long time, he finally left and I got to offer my condolences to Carol. Four months later my wife passed away from a heart attack and Carol was there offering me her condolences. About six months later, I reached out to Carol just to have the companionship of a woman. There was nothing romantic between us. Carol is not my type but we would meet for lunch or go to a movie together. Having gone through the experience of losing our mates, we became very close.

One afternoon she invited me to her house for lunch. After lunch, we were saying our good byes when suddenly I was overwhelmed with the closeness of her. We took each other into our arms, caressing and kissing while we lowered ourselves down to her couch and stripping off our clothes. Here I went down on her and drank her nectar until she cried out in her orgasm.

Then I moved up on her and attempted to enter her but I had no erection. The feelings of needing to ejaculate were so intense and yet all I could offer her was a semi hard erection. It was not hard enough for penetration so I pushed my finger up into her vagina and I could feel her wanting body tighten around it, like her body was sucking on my finger. Oh how I wanted my penis to experience those sensations but I could not get a full erection.

My finger found her G-spot and I stimulated it until she had another shuddering orgasm. After a while she recovered and then she leaned over me and took my member into her mouth. It didn't take long for her sucking on my semi hard erection when I felt myself about to ejaculate. I warned her by saying, "Oh Carol I'm going to cum."

She continued sucking as I began ejaculating into her mouth. After I finished filling her mouth and my penis went completely soft, I watched her get up and spit my ejaculate into a tissue. I sensed that she really didn't like doing that. That she only did it to reciprocate the pleasures that I had given to her. In the future I would never let her do that again besides I want to be looking into my partner's eyes when I climax. It enhances the intimacy.

My wife had trained me to accept and enjoy hand jobs. Now I had to train Carol in the art of giving me a hand job. She was very rough at first and I learned that her husband was uncircumcised. I was circumcised so she had to learn that a circumcised penis, not having that protective foreskin has to be handled very gently. There was no foreskin to aid in masturbation so she had to learn to use a lubrication.

Carol and I have become close, so close that we have become friends with benefits only with one small problem. I have erectile dysfunction and I have had it ever since my wife passed away.

Now the reason for the dysfunction could be Carol because she is very thin which is not appealing to me. In fact I would say that she is skinny. When I was caressing her, she felt like I was caressing a skeleton. I like to feel soft puffy flesh. I find it be more sexy.

I have always been attracted to women who are on the plus size. My wife was a very sexual plus size. Getting back to Carol; Over these past six months we have developed strong feelings for each other. We would get naked and I would bring her to climax with my mouth or fingers. She in turn would masturbate me until my little, semi hard penis ejaculated into her hand.

We fell into a routine and we had these intimate moments once a week and only on a week day. Never on a Saturday or Sunday as Carol was always busy on the week ends. From the start I always suspected that Saturday nights she was out with the lover boy from her husband's wake. She is a single girl so I did not have the right to question her and besides I didn't care if she was with another man as long as I was getting mine.

Carol and I were living alone in large houses and we were trying to clean out the houses to get them ready to sell. This past Sunday we both had some books to donate and we were going to do it together. That Saturday night I tried to call her but she was not at home and I thought that she must be with the lover boy.

Sunday she got into my car and she seemed distant. After we donated the books I asked her if she wanted to come to my house and we could spend some time together. We had not been intimate for over a week so I thought she would want to. Her reply, "No. I'm tired. I just want to go home."

I looked at her and said, "You're not tired. Your looks and attitude tell me that you're well sated. I know that look. I can feel the presence of another man."

She got angry saying, "You need help! Your wife ran around so now you're accusing me of being with other men."

In a soft tone of voice I replied, "Look, I can live with you having another man. I've suggested that we get a surrogate male to give you what I can't. I just cannot live with you rejecting me. I can't take rejection."

I took her to her home. Her last words to me were, "You need help."

I've avoided her since. I spent a lot of money on her and I wasted too much time on her. Looking back, I can see that she is selfish, deceitful, insensitive to my needs and lazy. There is a Chinese proverb, "Let go of the things that don't serve you."

She made me realize how wonderful my wife was to me. When my wife had a lover, she would not allow me to have sexual intercourse with her. Her vagina was strictly for her lover but she was very sensitive to my feelings and emotions. If I was feeling inadequate, jealous or despondent over my cuckold status, she would say to me, "Take off your clothes and lay down with me. Let me sooth you."

Just hearing those words would cause me to get an erection and put me into a submissive mood. Even though she was well sated and tired, she would take the time to care for my needs. All the while she was masturbating me, she would be telling me how much she loved and cherished me. She would tell me that the sex with her lover was exciting because it was new and pleasurable and she wanted to thank me for giving her that. After I climaxed in her hand I would feel a great peace come over me. All of my anxieties would be gone. Her masturbation sessions always left me feeling so loved and needed. I miss her.

The other day I was out and about and I saw four women that were about Carol's age. One woman had her back to me and she had long blond hair just like Carol. I thought it was Carol. The woman must have felt the weight of my stare and she turned and looked at me. It was not Carol but our eyes locked into each others. We smiled and then I started to banter with her. She was an attractive woman.

When they were leaving, I beckon her to me. She came close and I said, "Can I ask you something? Are you married?"

She smiled and said, "Yes I am but you know what? If I wasn't married, I would be here with you."

Carol missed out. She could have had two men but she was too lazy to take care of me and I don't require much work. She was well sated and she just wanted to go home. So I took her home and I have not seen her since. I'm avoiding her.

I think I should write a manual for girls like Carol. I would call it, 'The Care and Maintenance of a Human Male' It would be like the manual you get with a new car.

It is very simple. A man's body generates sperm. If the sperm is allowed to build up then the male becomes aggressive. He will harass women who come in contact with him. Some males will even go to the extreme of forcing themselves onto a woman.

Ladies all you have to do is keep your male's sperm level low. Depending on the male's age, for instance, a male in his early twenties may require you to drain off his sperm on a daily schedule. Where a male in his forties may require once every ten days. So you can see, the older he gets the less maintenance he requires.

If you are cohabiting with a male then he is being stimulated by the sight and scent of you. The sight of your under things and the sound of your soft voice stimulates the generation of his sperm. You have to be vigilant to his sperm level but after a while it will become natural to you.

Some signs to look for. If his voice becomes harsh, he's impatient, quick to argue with you or others, looking at other women, suspicious of you or critical of you. Then his sperm level is high. You will discover other moods that will indicate a high sperm level. Now that you understand the relationship between moods and sperm level you're in a better position to keeping your male happy and content.

Now ladies, go and use your creative genius in the many ways to drain off your male's high sperm level.

I can never replace my wife so I'm trying to replace Carol or the relationship I had with her. Just today I was in a Dollar Store and as I was walking out there was a woman standing by the door. She was about Carol's age and attractive but she looked so sad.

When I got up to her I stopped and looked into her eyes. She looked into mine and her eyes were sparkly. In a soft voice, I asked, "Why do you look so sad?"

She replied, "I'm waiting for my ride."

I said, "Well I can give you a ride."

She answered, "Then he will be looking for me."

Then I knew she was married and I said, "Yeah and he'll be looking for me too."

She laughed and I left her with a smile on her face. I'll keep prospecting, I know there is a woman out there for me and I will step into her life. Maybe she will have a husband who is willing to become her cuckold.