No Contact

"Daddy, this is not a rehearsal or a practice run. Barry and I are really getting legally married today in your backyard. You're going to walk me down the aisle and make my lifelong dreams come true today, to hell with everybody else."

Tears spilled from my eyes as my little girl reminded me just how much she loved me. I would never have asked this of them but they're doing it anyway. I heartily shook Barry's hand.

"Thank you, Barry. I now understand why Elyse chose you above all others to share her life." Saying nothing, he just grinned and returned my firm grip.

I had to ask another question, "What about your mother? Won't she be royally pissed at you both for undermining the grand event by eloping like this instead of going through with the original plan?"

Elyse became somber, "I was on the fence about including her today but a recent conversation I had with her pushed me over the edge. We were talking about your inflexibility concerning your brother. Mom is the one who persuaded me to surreptitiously connect with your brother's family four years ago. When Mom and I were recently discussing the possibility of your absence from my wedding, she derided you by saying you were acting like a two-year-old baby. Mom knows how strongly I feel about you walking me down the aisle, so I asked her a direct question point blank. 'Do you think I should honor Uncle Gordon's family invitation to the wedding knowing full well that Daddy won't be there because of it'?"

"Her response floored me. She said, 'Absolutely'."

"For clarification, I rephrased the question, asking her, 'Are you telling me to intentionally choose Uncle Gordon's family over my Daddy?"

"She shocked me again with her answer, 'Your Daddy is the most unforgiving asshole alive. Gordon is willing to forgive your Dad for the way he's treated his family all these years and is eager to reconnect with him to heal the severed relationship. But no, not your self-righteous asshole of a father. I'm sorry, Elyse, but that's exactly what he is, an asshole. I admit that he found out about me with another man one time, ONE TIME! I begged and pleaded for forgiveness but what did he do? He divorced me! Sure there were other men that he never knew about, but he divorced me for that one instance and threatened my livelihood if I became uncooperative in the divorce. So, yes, Elyse, I'm telling you as your mother to honor Gordon's family invitation to ensure that your asshole of a father isn't there. Either that or force him to grow a pair and man up by mending his stubborn alienation with Gordon."

Elyse continued, "Couples elope every day for various reasons. Sure Mom will be angry for a while. But she, as my parent, was insisting that I choose someone else over my other parent, you. That's when I realized that she was manipulating me to hurt you because you divorced her. She also expended a lot of effort to put me together with your brother's family, nurtured by Grandma and Grandpa. Because I listened too closely to Mom, I nearly lost my Dad. Had that happened, I never would have forgiven any of them so it's a good thing that Barry helped me come to my senses when he did. Since Mom insisted that I choose one parent over another, that's exactly what I'm doing here today."

I wiped tears from my eyes and hugged her. I was bursting with pride at the profound maturity and wisdom exhibited by this wonderful couple. Something then occurred to me.

"Did you say photographers were coming? I hope you won't be too disappointed, honey, but I returned my tux a couple of weeks ago. I'd be honored to walk you down the aisle even in my underwear but I'm afraid I won't look the part in the pictures."

"Ahem...," Tasha cleared her throat, grinned and winked. "In a moment of inspiration, I just happened by the rental place a couple of days ago and they just happened to have that same tux available to rent. It's in the coat closet over there hiding between two of your winter coats. What a stroke of luck," she added impudently.

"So you knew and didn't say anything?" I amazed.

"I only keep secrets from you for the right reasons," she supplied, "And this seemed to be a great reason."

As I was changing into my tux, the photographer and videographer arrived and were getting the lay of the land for the impromptu wedding layout. They were already taking pictures of Barry and Elyse to save time because they had another wedding to get to later that day.

We winged the ceremony in the absence of a wedding director. Tasha played a compilation music CD that Elyse had provided her, on our boom box.

The whole event took less than thirty minutes. The preacher was very eloquent and proficient. I was never more proud in my life to take such a short walk with my daughter. The photographer and videographer took gobs of pictures and video, capturing every second of the activity. Elyse had brought the top tier of their wedding cake to perform the cake-cutting ritual and share the rest of the cake with us. No one else was there, just Elyse and Barry, Tasha and me, the preacher and the photographer and videographer, a total of seven people against the 175 or so that had been formally invited. When it came time for the two witnesses to sign their wedding certificate, the newlyweds asked Tasha and me to do the honors. We were thrilled. Elyse put on another CD so she and her new husband could have their first official dance together. Of course, the requisite father-daughter dance followed while Barry twirled Tasha around in the backyard. It was perfect. After the preacher, photographer, and videographer left us, Tasha invited the connubial couple inside our house where she had prepared a virtual feast of everyone's favorite dishes. How she had concealed her behavior from me amazed me. Perhaps there was even more to this special woman than I realized.

After the wonderful meal shared only by the four of us, I had to ask.

"What about the original wedding plans and your honeymoon?"

Barry spoke for the couple, "It only cost us a ten percent surcharge to move all of our airline, accommodation, and excursion honeymoon reservations up to start tonight instead of two weeks from now. After we change clothes here, if you'll take us to the airport, we'll be flying to the Maldives for our week-long honeymoon. We both have separate work-related cover stories already in place and pre-announced to all who need to know, which cunningly accounts for us being unavailable and out of town this week. In everyone's mind, the wedding will still take place in two weeks."

"Just a minute, Barry." I retrieved my wallet, produced a credit card, and handed it to him. "Barry, I already believe you to be a great son-in-law. If you would like to be elevated to fantastic son-in-law, I'd like you to do me one small favor."

"What's that, sir?" He quizzed.

"I insist that you use this credit card to cover the extra surcharge expense to this credit card. Secondly, I want you to charge no less than $2,500.00 to this card for anything the two of you would like to spend it on while you're there. I don't care how you spend it. That's up to you two. Remember, not a penny less. You can go over, but not under. Got it?" I emphasized.

"Got it," he rejoined as they both hugged my neck in thanks for the unexpected gift.

"One more thing," I added, "I could have easily afforded to cover all of your wedding expenses but your mother insisted on paying half probably so she could control everything. If she gives you any grief about being ripped off of her half of the wedding costs, I'll gladly write you a check allowing you to reimburse her for every penny."

"Thank you, Daddy. Barry and I may very well take you up on that generous offer. As for today, I have no regrets, this was my perfect wedding day." I must have hugged her for five minutes before releasing her to go change her clothes.

Two weeks later, Elyse and Barry Dotson appeared just in time for their originally scheduled wedding ceremony dressed in casual clothes. No one was surprised by my absence.

"Hello everyone. To all of our friends and family, Barry and I want to thank each of you from the bottom of our hearts for joining us today to celebrate our nuptials. What you may not know is that Barry and I are already married. We eloped two weeks ago and held our own private ceremony. But that doesn't take anything away from our reason to share with you in the celebration of our happy union. So, if it's okay with everyone here, we'd like to go ahead and start the wedding reception. Let's get the party started!" She shouted.

Many whoops and hollers emanated from the crowd as the DJ took over the party. Of course, there were no formal photographers present. A dozen throwaway cameras were evenly placed around the reception hall for guests to use to help them make memories of the occasion. Elyse's mother, Joanne, was, in fact, fuming mad at her daughter for undermining her intended plans but endeavored not to let it show in front of all of the other guests. Gordon, Desiree, and their three children Donna, Clay, and Lisa were bitterly disappointed along with my parents that they would have no formal role in the wedding party other than celebrating their nuptials and that there would be no long-awaited family reunion of the estranged brothers as had been greatly anticipated.

Amber, Tasha's daughter shared some unrequested information with me one day that she'd heard from Elyse. "Desiree must have learned her lesson after losing you. She toughened up her resolve never to stray again and stayed with your brother all these years to raise her family, even though it was not the family she had originally intended to raise."

The irony of that situation wasn't lost on me. Although I thought I would never do it, in a weak moment, I dropped to one knee while we were vacationing at the beach with the sun hanging low on the picturesque horizon. The setting was idyllic. "Tasha McMasters, would you do me the honor of changing your last name to Whitcombe?" To be perfectly honest, I was unsure if she was ready to make the change or not but she had become such a blessing in my life, I felt compelled to put my heart out there one more time. She said, "Yes!"