Orc Dominion: Zentara Afterward

Thank you all for sticking with the story all the way to the end. I hope you all enjoyed the story and found it a pleasure to read. I wanted to write this afterward to talk about my experience writing the story, what I was trying to do, what I learned, and to invite comments and criticisms from all the readers here.

I actually wrote this story over five months from 2012 to 2013. It is my ambition to write a mainstream fantasy novel one day, and I used this story as practice and to prove I could. I learned a lot while writing, both in what I did with the story and what I didn't do. There is plenty of room for improvement, which I may get around to one day.

The story is set up like a romance novel, which lead female and male characters, and then secondary characters that do not get as much attention. It wasn't deliberate to sideline the secondary characters, it just sort of happened as I was writing. With all the focus on Jeanette, and most of her time being spent with Turogg, the rest of the cast faded. In the future I will have to spend more time working on secondary characters. I think adding more points of view will help in this respect.

Initially, the story was going to be much darker, with Jeanette much more being blackmailed and not consenting or being as submissive. As I plotted the story, I felt this was too dark and would make the story somewhat inaccessible. What do you think? Would you rather have had a blackmailed princess or a complicit one? This is why the orgy scene at the wedding is a little darker, and probably why many people felt it was out of place.

Some people also thought the ending was a bit rushed. Certainly, the last chapter is the most poorly rated of them all. I am going to consider rewriting the chapter to fix some of these issues. Please feel free to leave any ideas or suggestions in the comments or through feedback. I will consider them, either for this story or for the next.

The reason I kept Jeanette as the sole point of view character was to keep an aura of mystery and Turogg, his intentions, and his association with Drake. I think this was the right choice for this story, but in the future I will work the stories to accommodate at least two, and maybe up to four, points of view.

Another thing I need to improve upon is descriptions. People, places, and things could all have gotten better descriptions to flesh out the scenes a little better. Other than Jeanette's dresses, this is something that is lacking. Additionally, in future works I want to play around with themes and motifs to foreshadow and provide a little deeper meaning.

I know all that sounds a little too sophisticated for an erotic story, but remember this is about teaching me to be a better writer!

One thing which I set out deliberately to do, and I hope I did a good job, was to build a convincing fantasy world. I think I did a god job on making believable countries, cultures, economies, and militaries. If you disagree, or see an area of improvement there, please leave a comment or email me! I made a deliberate decision not to include magic in the land and to make a more realistic environment. I do have ideas for adding magic to the world, but that is a long way off and I'm not sure I'll ever get there.

One of the comments I received was that I should have done more to make the orcs biologically distinct from humans, and to emphasize this in the sex scenes. This didn't occur to me until I was halfway through the story the first time, and I went back to try and shoehorn it in. I did another pass after I got that comment, but I didn't do as good a job as I would have if I had done it originally. In future stories, there might be more biological differences that appear to be a continuity error, but it's not. Just think of new Klingons versus old Klingons!

Another thing I tried to do is to make each character sound unique with his or her own voice. If you think I did or didn't accomplish that, please say something! Also, if you don't mind, leave a comment describing the personalities of some of the characters. I'm hoping how you perceive them is how I intended them to be.

One area where I think I dropped the ball was the battle scenes. I had a very difficult time making an exciting battle from Jeanette's point of view because she wasn't in the thick of it. In the future, I think I will experiment with writing a point of view from within to see if that makes it more interesting and exciting.

I know that the sex scenes were a little thin at the end. When I plotted out the story, I started to worry that there were too many of them, so I lightened the load towards the end. I hadn't initially intended to release the story episodically on Literotica so I didn't think about the problems this would have when some posted chapters would have little if any adult content.

Also, I worried about the scenes getting a little repetitive. I focused more on creating unique scenarios for Jeanette, and by the end when I was getting tired of writing so many graphic descriptions, I slacked off a little and left it at a more undeveloped scenario level. If that makes any sense.

I have planned out two more novels and one novella as part of the Orc Dominion series, but due to some real life changes I won't be able to properly right them for at least a year. In the meantime, I hope to release some short stories that will bridge the gap between the end of Zentara and the next novel. The short stories will all be told from a different point of view. So far I have story ideas for Susannah, Bodak, Cindy, an unnamed Thestan, and maybe Frederick.

I also have some ideas about writing a few chapters from different points of view that take place during or just prior to the events of Zentara. I'm thinking about one story for Drake, one for Turogg, and maybe one for Gilbert.

The last think I want to talk about is marketing. Most of the chapters were submitted by me on Saturday or Sunday and approved on a Tuesday or Wednesday. However, at the end I started submitting the chapters on Tuesday or Wed so they would be approved in time for the weekend. This resulted in much higher views. Additionally, using the word 'princess' in the description resulted in much more views than using her name.

Finally, thank you all again for reading the story, leaving comments, and voting. It's very flattering that my very first writing attempt received so many 'hot' ratings! Especially since most of the story isn't properly edited. If anyone would like to volunteer to edit future stories, please drop me a line. It may even light a fire under my butt and get me writing more! Once more, please leave a comment or send me feedback with any additional critiques or suggestions you may have. Thank you!

Bonus:

The original epilogue I wrote was more in a third person narrative, which I wasn't happy with. However, given some of the feedback I've received, I thought I'd include it here for your viewing pleasure. This was written some time ago, so it doesn't necessarily reflect some of the plans I made for the next stories. Also, you'll note that Agmar gets barely a mention again. That is because I have my own plans for him in the third major story, and I don't want to settle too much up front. Enjoy!

The orgy at the wedding was followed by a rash of marriages, joining the orc tribe to the Zentaran nobility. The men were more outraged than the women, who like Jeanette, had come to love and adore orc virility. While there were murmurs of rebellion, the veteran soldiers who fought with the orcs were not interested in betraying King Turogg and Queen Jeanette. Nor were the common people moved to come to the defense of the nobility. The orcs only targeted noble families for marriage to bolster their status, and left the common folk alone. With their own women protected, they were not about to commit treason to aid noble women who did not want their help to begin with.

After the initial shock had passed, the nobility came to accept the orcs as well. Their favor was necessary for position and advancement at court. Additionally, they lacked the finer skills to take on the many responsibilities of the nobility, so little actual power changed hands despite their presence. While the outrage at the ravishment of their women remained strong at first, it abated as they gained more exposure. Though they looked different and were uncouth, at heart they were much the same as humans. Besides, with most of the new orc nobility in the Duchy of Braden and King Turogg's new lands, they were out of sight and out of mind.

Once King Turogg was crowned, he transferred the title of Duke of Braden to Bodak, making his brother the new Duke. After Bodak married Susannah, she became the Duchess of Braden. While politically a good marriage, Frederick never did accept it, or forgive Jeanette for her role in it. Frederick left court to return to Haverford with his sons, and never returned. Susannah and Bodak had many children together, and developed the Duchy into a strong frontier against Heste.

Sir Drake's death went unmourned in Zentara. It was well known that the Queen did not care for him, so his disappearance from court upon her return was not remarked upon. When it was later revealed that he was dead, no one seemed to mind. His methods had alienated much of court, and even more of the common people.

King Connor of Heste never forgave Jeanette for taking the Duchy of Braden, and did not truly believe they were not complicit in his brother's death. Eight years after the war, he used orc raids on Heste as a pretext for to start another war. Thesta and Sandora, much recovered from their conflict with the orcs and not desirous of seeing them expelled from the Duchy of Braden and possibly return to the Angrian March, intervened in the war to support Zentara. This resulted in another disastrous loss for Heste, and King Connor was forced to give up more land and castles. In the following years, the orc raids got worse, and Zentara assumed more and more of the Hesten lands. By the time that Jeanette and King Turogg's second son was of age, he was able to assume the title of King of Heste after the last remnants of King Connor's lands were taken over.

King Turogg and Jeanette had twelve children together, eight boys and four girls. They ruled the Kingdom together, with King Turogg spending much of his time training the Zentaran military and learning the arts of 'civilized' warfare. Queen Jeanette managed the Kingdom, regulating trade and overseeing the budget. Zentara entered into a golden age under their leadership, being not only the wealthiest, but also a premier military power.

King Turogg ruled for sixteen years before passing away at the age of forty-six, an age considered quite advanced for the warlike and volatile orcs. His first son with Jeanette then assumed the crown, and Jeanette became the Queen Mother. Even in this position Jeanette maintained the reins on power, continuing to guide her son and the Kingdoms of Zentara and Heste.

Agmar and the rest of the half-orc children grew up with every advantage, and their stories could fill three more books. The marriage of Jeanette and Turogg would have long and far reaching consequences for the region, which would never be the same afterward.