Orphan Ch. 06

Willow relaxed a bit and nodded as Jenabel turned to Alexander.

"As Willow said, the young ones are kept close to home until their first moon change. The moon change is the first time a person's wolf is called by the moon to shift, to take over dominance from the human soul it shares its body, life and soul with. This usually happens around puberty for most of us. Before that time we can shift, like Willow and young Amy, who you saved last night."

Alexander, in the deluge of information had almost forgotten about the young wolf pup. "She's..."

Jenabel smiled. "Yes, she is one of us, when the tree came down she shifted on instinct to get away from the danger. Being so young it took awhile for her to calm down enough to switch back."

Willow interjected.

"It's hard sometimes; the change will come on us really easily and really randomly. It's why we aren't supposed to stray far from home. If I had shifted back to human form so far away from home and not been able to shift back to wolf it could have been very bad."

Alexander got the feeling that Willow had gotten a lecture on this subject in the not to distant past.

Jenabel smiled at Willow then continued.

"As we grow up we gain more and more control over balancing our wolves with our human side. We teach the children to hone that balance, to be able to call forth parts of their wolf or human as needed depending on the situation. This leads up to the first moon change. As I said, it normally comes with the onset of puberty, some are quicker than others, for others it happens in their late teens. It's tied to our inner balance, our desire for the change and most importantly, when our wolves, without our choice come forward on their own."

Jenabel let her last statement sink in. Watching Alexander as he processed and then understood what she had said and what it meant for him.

"You mean like it did today with me. My wolf recognized that its mate was in danger and took control, not just making itself known but guiding my actions and giving me its strength."

Alexander paused, his mind digging into the subtleties of what he was hearing, trying to extrapolate the outcomes.

His eyes locked with Jenabel's, she saw understanding there as well as fear. She took his hand in hers before continuing.

"That's right Alexander. Today, for the first time your wolf pushed the human side of your soul aside and asserted itself to protect me. I want you to understand, our wolves are part of us, and there is no true separation between them. Just as one cannot deny the other, we never look at ourselves as two different beings. We are simply more than normal humans, our blood and bodies harbor magic."

Jenabel noted the nervous movement Willow made as she told this, she knew that while young, Willow understood the danger Alexander was in. She sent soothing emotions to the young girl before continuing.

"In fourteen days the full moon will rise, Alexander. When it does your wolf will seek to fully integrate with you. Now normally this is nothing but a joyous event for us as we welcome another full member into the pack."

Alexander cut her off.

"But normally, people have waited and looked forward to that moment their whole lives. They have had years to come to terms with what and who they are. They have an intimate knowledge of their wolf which they gained from being the dominate side of who they are as a whole. I would think allowing the wolf to gain dominance in that situation would be a wondrous thing, allowing them to become fully who they are."

Jenabel saw the fear bloom strong and deep in Alexander. Watched as Willow moved to him and sat on his lap hugging his neck.

"It won't be like that for me, will it, Jenabel?" His voice was a whisper as he looked directly into her green eyes, found the fear that lay close to the surface of them. "I basically have two weeks to find the balance that you and your kind have had years and years to understand and learn about, all the while knowing from birth what they are. You're afraid I won't be able to do it aren't you? There is something you're not telling me."

Willow clutched him tighter as Jenabel nodded; not wanting to say what he had to be told.

"We will all do everything we can to help you Alexander, but yes, there is a real danger to you in the change."

"We spend our childhoods becoming comfortable with and understanding the side of us that is the wolf. It is a level of self trust that allows us to step back in that first change, allows us to give the wolf our full trust."

"Your whole life the human part has been firmly in control. Our fear is that once acknowledged, once brought forth, the wolf that you are could take that control. This could leave the human part of your soul powerless against it."

"We could lose the human part of you to your wolf...forever."

Alexander felt Willow's tears falling on his shoulder; saw the pain and fear in Jenabel's eyes as her hand clutched his.

Alexander got a crooked smile on his face before responding.

"You two don't know me very well. I understand that you're concerned, hell I'm concerned. But I also know that there has never been a challenge I haven't met. Do I know my wolf side? No. But does that mean it is a stranger to me, not at all. As I look back over my life it has always been there. Subtle to be sure, never anything like you have described to me, but now, with my perspective shifted so greatly I know it has always been there guiding me, helping when it could."

"Today is not the first time I have felt this part of me. Many times through my life this unknown strength has come to the fore, helped me when I was helpless, it lent me its power when I was powerless. I didn't know what it was. I never understood why I could unerringly read peoples emotions, pull forth an untapped strength when all seemed lost, been pulled to the night sky and the open places of the earth. Now I know this was always my wolf guiding me, offering what solace and help it could without the knowledge of what it was either."

"What I think you may have missed is the frustration my wolf must have endured for the past twenty-three years. Never acknowledged, never let out, and never freed to learn itself as well as the half of him that is human. You look on your childhoods as training your human selves to accept and trust the wolf. From the wolf's perspective you are teaching it that it can trust its human half, be safe with its guidance and knowledge. You learn the balance but it is both of your aspects that learn this not just your human half."

Jenabel listened to his calm words, understanding what he was implying but it did nothing to ease her fear, it caused it to grow even more.

"But Alexander, if that is the case, it makes this change all the more dangerous. Our wolves operate on a very different level than we do. It is primal for them. They are, in the truest sense of the word, wild. They revel in their wildness, and in doing so share that magic with us. We balance them, give them a deeper sense of love and belonging and honor."

Alexander cupped Jenabel's cheek with his palm, his thumb wiping away the tears that were now falling from her eyes.

"It will be alright Jenabel, my wolf trusts me. I have to believe that and over the next two weeks I'll do everything I can to learn to trust him. There is nothing else we can do but allow what is to come to happen, to place our action and intentions, our hope that the outcome will be something magical."

Alexander stood, cradling Willow in his arms.

"Where do we need to take this one?" He said motioning to the yawning girl that curled tighter into his embrace.

Smiling Jenabel said. "Follow me."

It was a short walk to Willow's house. Alexander placed her gently on her feet. She looked up at him with a weary but happy smile on her face. The tears she had shed now gone.

"I think Jenabel and the rest are just too worried Alexander, I think you are going to do great."

Alexander hugged her tightly.

"Thank you for the vote of confidence Miss Willow, with a guide like you how could I not?"

She smiled at him again as she scampered into the house leaving Alexander and Jenabel standing close.

Alexander reached out his hand taking hers.

"It's late and it's been a very long day." He moved closer to Jenabel as he said it.

Moving some stray hairs that had fallen across his eye she smiled at him, her pulse already starting to race at his touch.

"I don't want you to go Alexander, stay with me, rest with me. We can't..."

Her words were cut off as Alexander closed the remaining inches between them. His arms wrapping around her waist as he pulled her to him, his lips teasing over hers as their eyes closed. Their lips met as their bodies molded to each others, liquid heat surged to Jenabel's core as her thoughts were consumed by Alexander.

His body felt so right next to hers. The way his arms wrapped around her possessively, holding her, as if she would disappear if he let go. His fingers gently flexing at her back as their tongues danced sensuously.

Alexander couldn't process all of the sensations that being this close to Jenabel brought forth, her body heat warring against his own heat for dominance. The feel of her fingers coiled in his hair keeping his lips merged with hers. How her curves molded to him instinctively as if they were born to be locked together like this forever.

It was one of the most difficult things Alexander ever did to disentangle himself from Jenabel. Stepping back he ran his fingers through his hair trying to get himself under control.

He found it impossible to look her in the eye. He held her hand tightly; maintaining some contact with her but gaining enough space so he could try to clear his thoughts.

Jenabel was surprised that he pulled away, but also grateful that he had the strength to do so. She wanted him like nothing else she ever experienced. She was consumed by her need for him but had regained her control. There was so much more for him to know, things she had to tell him before they could truly be joined body, heart and soul as mates.

"Jenabel, I..." Alexander's voice was whisper.

"I've never, I mean, I know what you may expect but I..."

Jenabel heard and felt Alexander's uncertainty as he stood before her, his thumb lightly caressing her palm as he tried to say what was on his mind. She wasn't sure but she thought she might have an idea as to why he was suddenly acting so vulnerable.

Jenabel moved close to him, her hand moving to his neck as she looked into his eyes. She could see he was tense, feel it through the touch.

"Alexander, you were right, it has been a very long day. Come with me, rest with me, the morning will bring what it will. Tonight I just need you to hold me, to feel my heart beat with yours. It will be alright. No matter what Alexander, always I will be at your side. We will get through the trials to come. Learn together what the meanings of passion and love and commitment truly are."

Her words soothed him, his warring emotions calmed by her gentle touch and words. Alexander entwined his fingers with hers as she led him...home.

Edited by: Mikothebaby