Painting in Color

When they came down for breakfast, it wasn't the same as yesterdays' for sure. They both showed signs of having cried during the night. Cat had to get ready for work. So I was looking forward to talking a lot with Denise during the day.

I followed Cat to the door as she left for work. I told Cat that she and I would talk after work. But I needed to know a direction to start working toward today. To start gathering information about what we 'could' do.

"Make this her home if she wants to, Jake. That's what I want. That's what would be best for her too."

Denise hadn't even said a word all through breakfast, and was just picking at her food. I waited until she quit doing even that. Then picked her up and put her in my lap, and wheeled to the front room. I pulled her into to my chest and just held her for a while.

"Sweetie, I'm really sorry for all your having to go through. You shouldn't have to go through something like this. I'm so very, very sorry, and my heart hurts for you."

"I called your school this morning and told them that you wouldn't be coming in for a while due to a family emergency. It took me a little bit of talking to get them to believe me. I had to fax them part of your mother's letter, the one to me. Where she told what she wanted for your future care."

"That brings me to the main point we need to decide today. Where do you want to live? How do you want the rest of your life to go? The little bit Cat and I have talked, we'd like you to live here with us. To consider this to be your home."

"I know that your only fifteen years old, but it's still your life and you need to have some say in it too. Also from your Mom's letter to me, she makes it sound like her and John are your only family. So can you remember hearing of any other family members, and if you can. Would they be someone you'd want to live with?"

"Just you Jake. I don't have anyone but you."

Then the tears started to fall, and the sobs shook her shoulders. I clasped her head tight to my shoulder and let them fall. They did, for about a half an hour they fell. Her head pulled off my shoulder and she looked up into my eyes.

"Do you love me Jake? Will you be the only one to love me Jake?"

"Yes sweetie, I love you and I'll take care of you. I'll do everything in my power to take care of you. I need to find out what the court system will let us do. But I'll do everything that I can possibly do to make this your home. If that's what you want, and for as long as you want."

"But sweetie, you have a lot of people who love you besides me. I'm sure that Cat will come to love you, maybe she already does. I bet John loves you, and I bet his Dad does too. I'm sure that you have some special friends at school too."

"Your Momma loves you too. Just because she had to leave you, doesn't mean that she doesn't love you. Mommas always love their baby girls. I'll tell you a secret. Even if your Mother lives to be a hundred years old, and you live to be eighty. You'll still be her baby girl, that will never change and you can never grow out of it either. Can you remember what that letter Cat read to you last night said?"

"Kind of?"

So I read it to her again, and again the tears started to fall. Again I held her while they did, and I silently cried a few with her, and for her. Then I read her the part of Carol's letter to me that I had to fax to the school. Then told her what I'd told the school of the reason for her absence. Then I read some other parts of Carol's letter to me, not all of it but some. Then some more tears fell.

Later we talked about her school. About how long she wanted to stay home, about how long she could. What to do about her school work. I told her that I thought she should finish out this school year in the school that she was in. That I'd take her to and from school in the van. It was just too close to summer break not to have her stay where she was.

Cat called a couple of times and I updated her on what we were talking about. She'd put in her two cents worth. All on the speaker phone so Denise could talk too. I never said anything, but I wanted to do everything out in the open with Denise. I never wanted her to think that we'd made decisions about her, without her knowledge.

She's a teenager, somewhere, sometime she's going to want to rebel against any form of 'parental control'. It's only natural and human, it 'will' happen. If we have her buy in, and her participation in setting up those rules and guidelines. Any conflict about 'parental rights' should be mitigated, at least somewhat. The time to do that is right now at the start of everything. The way to do it is right up front and fully open.

Denise and I made soup and sans for lunch. When we finished, Denise said she was tired and went up to lay down. I called Julie and asked her what the name of a good lawyer in family law was.

"Why do you want a family law lawyer Jake. You and Cat aren't having troubles are you?"

"No Tible, we need it for Denise."

"God Jake, I haven't been called that for quite a while. Why does Denise need a lawyer?"

"Well the three of us do. When Cat took Denise home last night. It was to an empty apartment."

"WHAT...what do you mean Jake?"

"When Cat got to the apartment all that was in it were a couple of boxes of Denise's clothes, and two notes. Nothing else, no mother, no brother, no furniture just two notes. Everything else was gone to parts unknown."

"Oh my God...is she OK?"

"Pretty much a basket case for last night and most of today. Cat slept with her last night, felt that she didn't want her to be alone. She's laying down right now, that's why I called. I know that Tible knows people, who know people, who know people. So she'd know of the best damn family lawyer in town."

"By your wanting a lawyer, I guess that means you're going to try to keep her. What about her mother? And why did she do this? I mean, come on Jake, just to dump off her kid. That's a bunch of bullshit!"

"Like I said, mother gone to parts unknown. She left two notes, one addressed to Denise, the other to me. From the way the notes read, she feels that she's out of options and can't support them anymore. I guess that they were going to be evicted in two weeks. Because the landlord raised the rent and she had no way to pay it. I personally know that landlord's a real dick!"

"Then in a little while her boss was going to cut her hours. So that would leave her with even less money. So in two weeks she has to find an apartment that she can't afford, only to have her wages cut further. I guess she's been looking, but she can't find either an apartment, that's not in a war zone, or a better job. Then her ex-husband comes back and wants his son to live with him. So that starts the family breakup. By the way the ex-husband's a biker who just got out of prison."

"I can see why she's so depressed, but still you don't abandon your kids."

"Oh it's even worse. Her life sounds like a bad Jerry Springer show. She dropped out of high school. Walked into a teenage pregnancy, tried to move back in with her folks, who refused. Doesn't even know who Denise's father is. A short time later her Dad beat her Mom to death in a drunken rage. Only to die in prison years later."

"She ends up marrying a guy from a motorcycle gang. Got pregnant again, only to have him get arrested for a liquor store robbery and put in prison. So she has to divorce him. After that she's just trying to keep body and soul together and keep her kids fed. Until she hits this latest bump in the road of her life."

"Sounds like an awful rough life Jake. Makes you glad for what we had as kids, doesn't it."

"Yes it sure does. But I have to give her a little credit. She makes no excuses for herself, doesn't blame the world for not being fair to her. In both letters she admits that her life choices have all been bad ones. She freely admits that it's all her own fault. Even though I hate the way she just abandoned Denise. I have to give some due to part of her reasoning."

"How so Jake. As a woman I can't see of any way I'd abandon any children I might have."

"From her letters she really believed that she and Denise were going to end up homeless. She said that she could survive out on the street, but that Denise never could. I have to agree with that, Denise is just too much of a kind hearted person. She'd never survive in that environment."

"The other part of her reasoning comes from her own life. She said her life is only going downhill and she didn't want to take Denise with her. Maybe not...we both know that she had other options. Ways to get herself a little help and get her back on her feet again. But her point is, that even if she got the help to get on her feet again. It wouldn't be enough to get Denise the opportunity's for a 'much' better life. I kind of agree with that reasoning. Or at least I can see it."

"Carol made a comment in her letter to me that struck a chord in me. She said that giving her daughter away to me wasn't just to put food in her mouth and a roof over her head. She wanted me to teach Denise how to become a better person. A better person than her own mother could, and I agree with that."

"From the life path of both Carol and her family. How much chance did Denise have for a better life? I know that it's possible for the child of a single parent to succeed in life. Nothing's impossible, but realistically, how much chance did she have?"

"I guess I can see your point Jake. She really didn't have much of a chance for any significant change in her life."

"Julie, Carol would have had to turn her own life completely around. Enough to be able to teach her daughter the discipline and drive necessary to succeed. To give her the tools and the support system, the positive examples to make her 'want' to succeed. Then push her through the rest of her school years with a well above average grade point. She'd have to do all that...while providing for them both, and trying to save up enough money to get Denise into college...all in the next three years. Think that Carol's got that in her?"

"No, I don't think that she ever did either. I don't know of a good lawyer for family law. But with one phone call, I'll know the name of the very best one in the state. I'll call you right back."

Ring.

"It's kind of funny Jake. Jakerson, Colleen Jakerson is her name. She has an office here in town, call her and you'll have an appointment tomorrow."

"See, there's my Tible that I know and love. 'ouse knows' peoples, who knows' peoples, but if you start telling me you know people with names like Guido Renzoni, I'll start to worry."

When Cat and I sat down to talk I think that we both knew the direction that we wanted to go. Even before we started talking. We were in perfect agreement. Denise was already home, and here she'll stay. The rest that we talked about was just details. Then she slept in Denise's room again tonight.

The appointment with the lawyer, Colleen Jakerson, went well. She felt that it might take a while, time wise. To get a final determination, but she said that realistically as over loaded as the child care system is. They'd have to have a extremely good reason to turn down a situation already in place. Plus with Carol's letter of intent, she really didn't think that there'd be any problem. For assurances though, she'd start filing a temporary injunction that would allow Denise to stay with us until the final determination is made.

Two days later we got the Child Care Service's inspector that she told us to expect. Amanda, a slightly older African American woman, who despite of the horror stories about Child Care Services was a very friendly person. After showing her around the house and explaining what we both did. Plus our plans for Denise's care. She asked Denise to show her to her bedroom. Cat went to follow until I held her back.

"She wants to talk to Denise alone."

Everything must have went satisfactorily. Because after they came down, the only thing that she wanted to know. Was if she could move in with us too, she loved our house.

Next morning Denise and I took the van on its first of many trips to school. Then it made the inverse trip in the afternoon. After her days of absence she had quite a pile of homework to catch up on. I wanted her to know how much that I valued her school work, without having to bitch at her. So we both pitched in and I used that bonding time to show her how very important that I felt it to be. It turned out to be the first of many afternoons we spend doing the same thing.

As the school year was ending we got with Colleen and Child Care Services to get Denise's next year of school transferred to the high school closest to our home. Colleen was pleasantly surprised to get the final determination at midsummer. Denise was now legally our ward.

Denise was Cat's maid of honor at our remarriage. With Julie, Kevin and Mary (with their new baby) as witnesses.

It wasn't very long after that I noticed what I thought might become a problem. Denise was becoming more than a little angry at her Mother. It first manifested one morning when she announced that she didn't want to be called Denise anymore. She wanted to be called Dani, for Danielle, which was in fact her full name.

After a quick look and silent communication between Cat and I. We didn't make a big deal about it, and it really wasn't a big deal. If she wanted us to use a different name, we would be happy too. But we both knew that it was just an indicator of a bigger problem.

A lot of gentle talking and some empathic reassurances that we didn't think that she was crazy. We pointed out that being angry wasn't hurting her Mother. It just wasn't very healthy for her, Dani. We got her in with a counselor. It only took about four months and then the counselor didn't feel that she would need any more sessions.

One of the nice possibilities in a timber frame construction is the ease in which interior walls can be moved. I had the wall and doors removed from a super sized walk-in closet and added it to the studio area. I added some built in desks and file cabinets. Took the computer that I had been using and set it up for Cat and Dani. There, I remembered to use the right name, Dani. It takes some getting used to.

Then I picked up a top flight work station, software and plotter. Then hung out my shingle so to speak. As a freelance engineering design company. I didn't really hang out my shingle, as I didn't do any advertising. I just networked some of my old contacts. That later proved to have been a very good move, as the business grew faster then I really wanted it too.

Cat and I weren't hurting for money. We'd both come from well off families and started married life each with our own money. Throughout our married life we'd both had very good careers, and we're both basically frugal people. We weren't hurting for money. The reason I started this freelance company was for Dani. Like I'd told Julie, we needed to have her ready for college in three years.

Plus I didn't want to take money from Cat or to take away from our relationship. So I felt that this was 'extra' that I could put solely to Dani's education, without taking from anything else. Like I said it grew faster than I thought it would.

So my day would start with taking Dani to school. Back home to work on any engineering projects that I might have. Start work in the studio. Go get Dani from school, from then on we'd both go do her homework. When Cat got home it was cooking in the kitchen for all three of us. Then either I went back into the studio or it was family time, movies, games or such things.

Hey surprise, surprise Dani took art in school. But the pleasant surprise was her interest in math and science. She's like me though in art, we'll never be Michelangelo. But we get by. While my talents tend to drawing and painting. Dani's are a little less defined, her strong points are in design, composition, form and spacial sense.

Painting wise this last year has been rewarding. I have thirty eight paintings up in various places around town and in two gallery's. Dani's had a part in all of them, Cat too. We cook together, we do housework together, we even shop together. For food only not clothing. Fashion shopping is a strictly female bonding experience. Strangely in spite of their ages, the three of them have become very tight, Cat, Julie, and Dani.

So we even have painting planning sessions. Like I said Dani's strong points are in design, amazingly Cat's color sense is almost better than either of ours. I paint and come up with the basic theme. But the basic theme is, we have fun together.

A high school art project of Dani's led to my biggest sized painting to date. It's six foot high by twelve foot wide. Dani's school assignment was stated simply as a 'movable sculpture'. I said to keep it simple, just do a hanging mobile. Kind of like some baby's crib toys. I thought that it would be good to keep to things aerial, kites, balloons, or airplanes. Dani was the one who tripped on feathers.

So that's what we did, both of us, my painting and her mobile. We did her mobile out of wire. An offset central column that rotated on ten long limbs at different random balance points. Hanging all from a single point. Wire feathers floating at the long ends of the limbs. Balls or stars, or moons at the short ends to make the balance points work. We used silver colored very stiff wire, but for color I showed her how to use a small propane torch to temper to different colors. Solder and acid wash to put it altogether. Then used different dyes and glazing's for other colors. All from the top down as a descending, shrinking spiral. She got an A on it.

As we were doing her mobile we came up with the idea for the painting, that same descending shrinking spiral. Like the top down view of a tornado funnel. In a way I think Cat's contribution really made the painting. Red and white, stark white background with brilliant red cardinal flight feathers. I let Dani do the design on all the feather placement. It was unconventional, but it worked.

An informal rule in painting or drawing deals with the eye's path through the painting. Dani's design of the primary path of the spiral led down and out of the painting. Breaking all the rules.

The top first feather took up fully a quarter of the canvas. Then that twisting tornado of feathers shrank to little more than a dot. Only to have a smaller inner spiral of softer feathers. Start at the bottom and rise to lead the eyes' path back up to the vivid reds of the uppers. Then back down again.

We hung it in Julie's store, which started out as kind of a problem. What women's fashion store has 72sq. feet of open wall space? Until I turned them into a quad with the addition of three smaller paintings. The three other canvas' were six feet long by four feet high. Just an horizontal solitary flight feather, one in each primary color. Red, yellow, and blue, just in brilliant iridescent colors on that stark white background. They were hung with the three smaller stacked on edge. Then fasten back to back with the larger one. Hung by a single center point cable, suspended from a high first floor ceiling. Turning and moving slowly with the air flow.

Julie was happy for me but also sad for her store. Because they didn't hang on display for every long. Even at twenty five thousand dollars they went quick. That too went into Dani's college fund.

I don't sleep for very long each night. I haven't since my cancer and this wheel chair. So in the very early hours. I've started three paintings. The girls won't see them until they're finished. I keep them covered with sheets and rags, behind spare canvas' that I haven't started yet. Working only in the early hours and having to hide them, they're going to take a while to finish. I'm working on them with the same techniques as I used on Dennis.