Portraits For Her Husband

"Things happened?" she said with disbelief.

Silence greeted her, followed by a long deep breath. "Kara, what do you want me to say?"

"The truth would be nice," she told him. "I know it was more than once Bill. I asked Maggie, one of the studio owners. She didn't tell me, but she was quiet for a long time and I knew by the look in her eyes. How many videos are there? How many different women?"

She sat down on the hotel bed and studied her toes, while waiting for his answer. Kara could almost see him struggling with how much to confess. The hand, not on the phone would be rubbing his face; his fingers digging into his eyes. He would cover his mouth, trying to stop the lies that wanted to spill out. Had he cried? Or had he simply accepted he'd gotten caught?

"Strike a Pose has five videos with me. I assume that is how you found out. I called Todd, and he told me that you had gone there to have photos done."

"Did Todd know about your other life?" she asked. Kara felt a sudden shifting in her subconscious as she focused on her friend Jane.

"No. Neither one knows. They're your friends more than mine. He just told me because I threatened him and I think he was okay with spilling the beans, once you sent Jane the text that you were okay. Thank you for that - for letting someone know you were safe. I was worried."

"I did it for them, not for you," Kara hissed.

"I know. Kara, when I met you, you were so perfect. You had a smile that captured my soul and I knew that you could never be what I needed - not like that. Those women, they're little sluts. I pick them up, pay them money and they take whatever I give them."

"Prostitutes - this is getting better and better. Do I have a disease Bill? Did you just give me AIDS?" Venom dripped from her tongue as she unloaded every vile curse she could think of. When her tirade was over, she took a deep breath and ended the call.

Kara rushed to the bathroom and threw up. When she was able, she picked herself up and threw cold water on her face. Her steps took her back to the bed, where she grabbed her phone, sifted through her contacts and called her doctor. An appointment was scheduled for the next morning and Kara felt her world closing in around her.

An hour later she was calling Bill. He answered on the first ring.

"I made an appointment for tests, I'll let you know the results when I get them. In case you've never been tested," she told him as soon as he said "hello."

"They're safe Kara. I use girls recommended from a service. There are people that take care of things like this," he told her.

She rolled her eyes. "Of course there are. I really am an idiot."

"No. You're an innocent. That's why I chose you. I saw you that day and knew you were everything I wanted in a wife. You were pure. What I do with those girls, that's not for you Kara. You're my anchor to reality. I could never tie you up, whip you, make you beg, fuck you like a whore. You're not that kind of girl. You're a lady."

Kara was silent for a long moment.

"Seriously Kara. You aren't one of those girls."

She cleared her throat. "You'll never know will you Bill. You never asked. You never even shared that part of your life with me. How did you do it? How did you keep that part of you hidden for ten years?"

Kara heard the wheels turning in his head, as he searched for the right words to tell her. She knew she was going to get the truth from him. It was in his voice. The lies were over.

"I didn't want you to see that part of me. You saw me as this great husband, a good provider, a safe figure in your life. I did for you what you did for me. You wanted an older man to care for you, to make you feel treasured and protected. I wanted a lady, someone I could come home to and make love to in a slow, pleasing manner. The other women served the animal in me without having to make a commitment on either ones part."

"So you're ashamed of what you do?" she asked.

"Yes," he admitted.

"Then why give permission for them to show it in their advertisement!" she shouted.

"Kara, I never thought you'd ever find out and if my business associates saw them, it was only going to be because they went to Strike a Pose for the same reason I went! So what would they say to me if they thought to confront me? The women, they were paid handsomely and trust me, they would suffer at the hands of their employers if they violated their policies."

"Wow Bill. You're a sad man. I'm sorry - sorry you're turning fifty and are still so lost. I need to grab something for lunch. I'll make a few calls and deal with things on my end as far as Jane, Todd, and my parents. You can handle your own business."

"Kara, what are saying?"

She smiled softly into the phone. "I think you know. I think you knew as soon as you got home that night and saw my note. My dad will put me in touch with someone and whoever that is will contact you."

"Honey, please let's meet and talk. Face-to-face."

"I don't want to Bill. Not yet, maybe not ever." She ended the conversation and stared out the window of the hotel. Time passed, her stomach rumbled and she left the hotel in search of sustenance. Eventually she found herself sitting in a diner, sipping coffee and looking at the classified section of the paper. Thoughts traveled back to her parents, the small town she'd grown up in and the friends she'd left behind when marrying Bill. The paper was forgotten when her meal came, but the idea of moving back home was not. She'd start over and she'd survive.

~ The End ~