Raw Ch. 07

"Lady Juliet, would you like to come again?"

"Oui, Mazta Yehzee." Her voice was barely audible.

"Come!"

She shook so hard I thought she might break the chains. Her mouth gaped in a silent cry. Some of the dried wax cracked as she convulsed, flaking off and falling to the floor. She hung now by her arms, her legs bent and no longer supporting her body. And Jesse stood there watching her. He had not put his hands on her in any intimate way except to rub what smelled like baby oil on her body, and she'd achieved orgasm not only once but twice.

I had been expecting full-on, hardcore sex from a dungeon party. What I got instead was an awakening to a whole new world. One that I couldn't wait to experiment in. With Malcolm, of course.

###

"Becca, close your mouth. You're drooling."

I swiped the back of my hand across my lips and looked around. The lights were coming up in the main room, and the curtains were closed again.

Mr. Baldhead had stepped up on stage. "I hope you all enjoyed tonight's show."

There was a loud round of applause and a few whistles.

"There are refreshments upstairs. For those of you who are going to stick around, please see me for your room assignments. A reminder for those of you leaving us, please ensure that you have all of your belongings as we will be closing the doors in an hour at promptly ten o'clock. They will not be opened again until nine tomorrow morning." With a wink, he added, "Thank you, for coming. Goodnight!"

I could hear the people around us laughing and talking. Daphne's voice joined theirs. My hands lay limply in my lap. I felt like I'd been elevated to the peak and left wanting. I hadn't been touched physically, yet my body was reacting as if I had been.

It was almost as if I were in a dream. Images of the scene kept flashing through my head. I'd wanted so badly to have Jesse just take Juliet after all he'd put her through. Give her some relief. But Malcolm had talked to me extensively during our hiatus on the East Coast about not always expecting the norm in the scene. Not everyone found fulfillment the same way. Therefore, I shouldn't be so disappointed when things didn't go the way I thought they should and just enjoy the moment for what it was.

My thoughts turned to Juliet and her tolerance. I'd had plenty of training in resilience these past two years since meeting Malcolm. I was able to resist my own impulses much better now. And I was able to withhold release for the most part until allowed. But to actually orgasm on command when Malcolm hadn't touched me with some part of his body? I don't know if I would be able to do that. And I still struggled with tampering down the noises that I'd adapted to using when I wasn't supposed to speak in a scene.

"Are you okay, Becca?" Daphne's voice brought me out of my haze.

"Hmm?" I shook my head and smiled. "That was...amazing."

"I'm glad you liked it." She handed me my jacket as she checked her watch. "We only have about thirty minutes to meet Jesse and get out of here before they lock us in for the rest of the night."

I noticed everyone else had departed to go upstairs. Before we could head that way, the curtains rustled. Jesse and Juliet—now clean and in a red, sheath dress—emerged. They were talking to each other but stopped when they saw us.

"I'm sorry, we were just leaving," I said, pointing blindly towards the stairs.

"No apologies needed." Jesse' s smile was pure white and radiant.

Okay, maybe I'd been wrong about him smoking. His charm went back up a notch on my mental meter. My legs felt wobbly, and it was suddenly hot in the room.

He glanced between the two of us for a moment. "You must be Lady Daphne?"

"Yes," my friend said, taking his outstretched hand. I heard her sigh, which made me giggle. Did he have this affect on every woman he came into contact with?

"So you would be Lady Becca." His eyes trained on me as his warm hand enveloped mine. "I have heard a lot about you."

I'm sure my smile looked cheesy. "I hope nothing bad."

"Oh, not at all. Welcome to my home." He turned and put his hand on his partner's shoulder. "May I introduce Lady Juliet?"

"Eet eez a pleazure," Julie said in her vampiric-French accent.

I just smiled and gave her a brief nod since she did not offer her hand. "Likewise."

Her eyes dipped and then returned to mine. As her mouth curved into a smirk, I wished I could read her mind. Whatever impression she'd just read of me, she seemed to be amused. I was not.

"You have such restraint," Daphne said, breaking the awkward silence. She waved her hand between Jesse and Juliet. "The show was wonderful. Thank you very much for the invitations."

"Did you enjoy it?" Jesse asked, his eyes focused on me.

I nodded. "Yes, very much so."

"I believe Malcolm said this was your first party? I am honored."

"Yes, it was. We feel privileged to be here. Thank you."

"Veuillez consulter nos autres invités," Jesse said to Juliet.

She gave a slight nod. "Bien sûr, Monsieur."

Jesse kissed both of her cheeks and turned back to us as she departed. "I apologize. Lady Juliet is more comfortable in her native French. She is going to see to our guests."

"I need to excuse myself, as well, to find the ladies' room." Daphne squeezed my hand.

"Let us go somewhere a little more comfortable," Jesse said as soon as Daphne was out of earshot. He gestured to the stage area.

I raised one eyebrow and laughed. "As enjoyable as your show was, that didn't look like the most comfortable position for a conversation."

"And as intriguing as the image is in my head right now, it will have to wait for another time." He flashed me that lightning-white smile, and my heart skipped a beat.

I was hesitant to follow, but he had piqued my curiosity. Especially when he pushed the curtain aside and walked up to the wall. My jaw dropped as a pocket door slid open, he reached inside the doorway, and a hidden room lit up. So that's how they got on stage in the dark without us seeing or hearing them!

"Ladies first."

The new space was fairly large and had been divided by a large, Oriental-themed screen. On one side was a walk-in shower, pedestal sink, and a toilet. The other half held a couch, a dressing table, and a rolling clothes rack with Juliet's red robe. There was another door next to the rack.

"Let me guess. Your house used to be an old speakeasy?"

"You have found out my secret." Jesse chuckled and pointed to the far end of the couch as he sat down. "To be honest, it is just another access to my personal rooms."

"Plural? Interesting." I wondered what his tastes encompassed to require multiple rooms to hold them as I sat facing him and pulled my inside leg up under me. "I take it that you are a very private man to have hidden away your hobbies as you have."

He studied me for a moment and then said, "You are very observant."

I shrugged. "A casualty of being a writer for so long."

"A very good writer, from what I am told. Alas, I have yet to you read your work. I shall rectify that soon." He stroked his chin with his forefinger and thumb. "Observance is also a good quality for a submissive to have, Lady Becca. It helps in knowing what her Dominant wants or needs."

Goosebumps prickled my arms. "Shouldn't you just call me Becca? I understood titles are used only in scenes or during parties."

"What are we at, if not a party? The main attraction may be over, but the show does not officially end until the morning." His grin suddenly looked less honorable and more lascivious as he tilted his head to the open door and the room beyond where three dozen people had sat until only a few minutes ago. "Besides, one in my position does not always adhere to traditions if they do not support common courtesy. I refer to all of my guests—and especially partners—with their proper title regardless of whether or not we are in a scene. It is a term of respect in my home."

My eyes narrowed. "All of your—"

"Yes, I have many partners under my tutelage, however not always at the same time. Most relate to the role of a slave, which I prefer. But it is not for everyone. Some—like yourself—are unwilling to give completely of themselves and therefore remain at the submissive or bottom level. While they find the role pleasurable, they are barely skimming the surface of what they could be enjoying. Being a slave delves below the surface, down into the abyss. Harvesting what is found there. It requires complete commitment and is much more rigorous and consuming in regards to training. But the end result is so much more rewarding. Then there are the switches, who are a whole other dynamic."

I was going to object to his opinion that I—or anyone else—who related to being a submissive was basically just being stubborn, but his last comment distracted me. "Switches?"

"The men and women who enjoy alternating being the one in control and the one being controlled in a scene. I have trained a few myself."

"Do you define yourself as a switch then?"

"No, I am a Master. Although I have allowed others to dominate me, it has only been in training. It is understood that I am not relinquishing control but controlling the situation by allowing one to think they are controlling me. It is a fine line."

A fine line named Ego.

"Tell me, Lady Becca, how long have you been in the lifestyle?"

"About three years."

"With just the one partner?"

"No, two." My cheeks burned. I didn't want to go down that road and prayed that he didn't want me to elaborate any further.

"You are nubile. Give it time. Put yourself out there. Attend parties such as mine." He shifted his eyes to where my left arm rested on the back of the couch. The arm with the red bracelet still encircling my wrist. "It is important to be approachable. Do not be afraid to accept leadership. Be open to learning all that you can. Not all Dominants are the same. With time, you will combine and use your experiences to grow and be more responsive with each passing partner."

"That's merely a matter of opinion. I prefer to stay monogamous and see where it goes." It was impossible to ignore the smirk that curled one corner of his lips, as if my comment only proved his theory that I was hard-headed with antiquated beliefs. He probably thought one couldn't just have a single partner and truly be in this lifestyle. Instead of rattling me, his reaction stoked the fire under my already smoldering soapbox. "Are you against having a relationship? Besides it not being safe having multiple partners, don't you want more than just sex?"

"Being in this lifestyle requires mental maturity. Understanding that this is not a dating pool for casual flings but a world of adults who want to nurture that innate desire to either control or be controlled. And those desires are met mostly through having sex in some form or another. I make it clear from the onset what the partnership entails. Including using the utmost protection possible if my partners request it, although I have permanently seen fit to ensure there are no surprises on my end."

I blinked at him. He'd had a vasectomy to prevent knocking up his girls? While he may have thought it a noble gesture to consider his partners in that aspect, in all truth, it was conscientious of him to the rest of society to assure that no egotistical mini-Master Jesse's roamed the earth. And that still left STDs.

"While emotions cannot be avoided," Jesse continued, "it is important not to let them get in the way of the goal: to achieve the ultimate satisfaction possible through whatever means the scene entails. Usually, it is just for the Dominant partner. A subordinate should never assume they will always receive pleasure from a scene, as it is not about them but about pleasing their Dominant. The subordinate will experience release and pleasure only if the Dominant desires and allows it."

Good grief, he was another Christian Grey wannabe. Or Brian Hughes for that matter. And that made me shiver. Was the whole world so obsessed with those books—and now the movie—that even the most hardcore practitioners of the BDSM trade were taking after a fictitious character? I bet that Jesse required an NDA as well with his plethora of partners.

Still, I was curious. "So no relationships. Not even with Juliet?"

"Lady Juliet is special." His smile softened to something more wistful for a long moment. Then he shook his head slightly, as if remembering I was still there. "The sex has been good, yes? Amazing, even?"

Way to flip the focus onto me. Thanks. But I smiled politely. "I would be lying if I said no."

He nodded slowly, his smile now grim, as if he had shifted completely from camaraderie mode into teacher-student mode. "Subordinate partners tend to see their obedience as an end to get to that means. If I obey him, he will fuck me. But as I said, sex and pleasure should not be an expectation every time. It is unfortunate for all parties involved that one cannot or will not obey just because they want to, even if they get nothing in return. Continual resistance of a subordinate reflects poorly on their partner's skills as a Dominant. If one cannot get his subordinate in line, how effective of a Dominant is he? How truly invested is the subordinate?"

I opened my mouth to object, but he held up a finger.

"To the Dominant, the sex is highly enjoyable. But it is the control that is the most important. It demands respect from the subordinate, who learns that respect is earned once it is given. But it is not just about being able to tell the subordinate partner what to do. It is also about knowing you were able to help them open up and understand their true, inner self. To balance them on that careful precipice with complete trust. "

I waited for him to add, 'To catch them when they fall,' but he did not. It was such a shame. I simply said, "I see."

By the way his lips pursed and his brow creased, he probably thought I was mocking him. But I didn't really care anymore. I would wager he'd claim there was no way I could understand what he was talking about because I wasn't a Master. And of course, I'd never feel the way he thought a woman should feel because I didn't embrace the life of a sex slave.

That made me angry. Very angry. Because if Jesse really thought that way about me without knowing me, then he definitely didn't think very highly of Malcolm, the same man who had trained under him for several years and apparently still considered Jesse to be an important friend.

I crossed my arms and sat up straighter. "I think you have the wrong impression of me and other submissives entirely. We are not any lesser of a partner just because we do not identify with a specific level or have the same predilections as you or any other Dominant partner would prefer. Everyone has their own opinions and preferences. Liking something different to a different degree doesn't make them wrong or inferior, just different. And this lifestyle means a hell of a lot more to me than just sex. I—"

"You are more lovely than Malcolm led me to believe." Jesse leaned toward me suddenly and caressed my cheek ever so lightly with the back of his fingers. "I do not mean just physically. Intelligence has its own exquisiteness. Even more so with a desirable body."

My mouth went dry. My skin tingled. I tried to retreat, but there was nowhere to go with the arm of the couch already pressing into my back.

"He has impeccable taste. You are a rare beauty. Where ever did he find you?"

I clenched my jaw lest I offend him more by opening my mouth again. It would only support his belief that one such as I was not up to par with his preferable type of woman. Not that I had any intention of joining his harem. Then again, maybe I needed to make that clear.

"I am sorry if I have troubled you, Lady Becca. It was not my intent." He lowered his hand. "Please accept my apology."

I gave him a single, stiff nod. I hoped it was sufficient because that was all he was getting. Respect begat respect, eh? So far, none had been shown to me, and I wasn't about to freely give it to one who thought so lowly of me as a person based merely on my sexual preferences. And yet, he was apparently attracted to me. Talk about an enigma.

"Tell me. What did you really think of the show?"

Now that he was no longer touching me, I relaxed. But only a little. "It was...different. Good. But not what I was expecting."

"Like sex?" He chuckled and did not wait for me to respond in the affirmative. As if I would have admitted my expectations aloud based on the conversation we'd had thus far even if he'd allowed me the chance. "Most parties do not involve any form of penetration. In my opinion, they are not intended to be peep shows. Rather, they should focus on a specific art form. Like flogging, or spanking, or needle play. It should be both tutorial as well as stimulating entertainment rolled into one."

I lowered my gaze. I had no reason to be embarrassed, but he was so easy on the eyes... I had to remember I was mad at him. What were we talking about anyway? Oh, yes. We were both adults, and there was no reason to deny that the show had been arousing. He had accomplished his goal. Bravo. Another point scored for Jesse's ego.

"Sensation play is one of my favorite hobbies."

"Excuse me?" My eyes jumped up to his again to see him smiling at me. I wished he would stop being so good looking. It did not match his personality at all. It was distracting. Deceiving.

"Sensation play. Building the partner up to release by plying the senses. It can vary from light or moderate levels like tonight, to more hardcore ones with S&M when direct pain is intentionally inflicted. The results also vary depending on the time and the intensity involved. It is mostly done with touch, but I like to incorporate sound as well with the music. Combined... well ,you saw what they can do."

He was absolutely right. Just talking about it was making me lick my lips as memories flashed in my head again. Even after he'd offended me. Damn him.

"I'm sure that Malcolm would entertain any desires you have. Although you are his submissive, you should feel free to tell him what you like. What you would like to learn. That does not mean you are being insubordinate, or that he has to agree to your every wish. But you should never be afraid to speak up and offer new ideas."

I was so confused with his mood swings. First, he implied that Malcolm was an ineffectual Dominant partner because I was resistant to completely giving up my will since I related to being a submissive, not a sex slave. But now, he was encouraging me to speak my mind, which meant I could still have a will. I could only imagine that his own partners grew frustrated with him over time. Maybe that's why he'd had so many.

He took up my hand suddenly, his thumb caressing my skin. The gentle motion made my insides swirl, slowly gathering momentum the longer he did it. It wasn't an entirely uncomfortable feeling.

"Tell me, Lady Becca, do you have self-control? Has he taught you that yet?"

Little jolts of electricity seemed to race up my arm. I struggled to swallow. My hand looked so tiny, engulfed in his. I was too stunned to pull away. Or to speak.

"You do not need a cock inside you, or hands on your breasts to find release. You can achieve the same results with just a simple touch on your arm or a thought. Release is all in your head, anyway. But it takes practice."

I opened my mouth to once again object to him assuming I was some mindless bimbo reliant on sex.

"Shh." He placed his finger over my lips. "I could show you how, Lady Becca."

I shook my head as I added 'dangerous' to the words I could use to describe him. He was a triple-D threat. But I kept imagining how Juliet had looked. How I'd wanted to be in her place.

"Close your eyes." He moved his hand to caress my cheek. "Just feel. Let it build up until you are wound so tight that you hang over the abyss, anticipating for that magic word that will break you free."