Reboot Pt. 02

"Did you ever think of running off with Julie?" Jenna asked, her voice suddenly serious.

"Of course I did," Sumita replied. "The day she came out to me, on the playground in Marymoor Park, was one of the hardest of my life. It felt like the worst kind of breakup you could imagine, even though we were never anything more than friends. But I loved my husband and daughter, and that was that."

Jenna didn't say anything for a while; she just laid in bed beside Sumita with her eyes focused somewhere outside the room.

"You have nothing to worry about, love," Sumita eventually said. "Whatever Julie and I had, it was a long time ago. She's married now, and I'm with you."

"I know, babe," Jenna replied, and then kissed Sumita on the forehead. They snuggled together and fell asleep.

~~~

The weekend was surprisingly easy for Jenna. She slipped into the comfortable friendship between Sumita, Julie, and Amanda without friction, just as Amanda had a few years earlier.

The four of them slept in on Saturday morning (it was sleeping in for Jenna, anyway), and lazed about the house in their pajamas, like a grown-up slumber party. Jenna hadn't done that since she was a teenager.

They met Sarah and Meaghan for lunch, and Sarah was very excited to see Julie. The two had actually sort-of met once, when Julie had given a talk on women in software engineering, and Sarah was eager to continue the discussion. The situation had only gotten worse in the past dozen years.

Sarah, Julie, and Sumita turned their end of the table into a female nerdfest, talking about the minutia of software development and complaining about all the stupid stuff - tools that don't consistently work, bugs that aren't really bugs, and features that nobody in the real world actually cares about. Also, Dave the Evil Software Development Lead was mentioned more than once.

"Well, at least there's never a line for the ladies' room," Jenna heard Sarah say at one point, and everyone laughed.

Meaghan, Amanda, and Jenna talked about babies and teenagers, art and music, food and beer - anything but software development.

Amanda cooked that night in Sumita's kitchen, a spicy stew of peanuts and okra. "Family recipe?" Jenna asked when they sat down to eat.

"Nope," Amanda replied, smiling. "I just like to cook different things. My great grandmother was from Ghana, but my mom never learned to cook anything but American food. She'd never go anywhere near this stuff. Fried chicken and mac and cheese are more her speed."

Sumita giggled as she took her first bite, dribbling a little of the stew down her chin. "My mother wouldn't go for anything like this either," she said, dabbing her face with her napkin. "She gave up trying new things years ago - my father really doesn't like change."

Julie dissolved into a puddle of laughter, and Sumita caught the look on Julie's face and burst into her own fit of giggles. Amanda smiled sympathetically across the table to Jenna, saying, "This happens all the time with these two."

"Sorry," Julie said, repressing a giggle. "Sumi just reminded me of the first time she cooked for her parents in our college apartment."

"We'd only been there a few weeks," Sumita said, her words tumbling out on top of Julie's, "and I really wanted to do something nice, so I made these two Mexican vegetable casseroles, and when my dad..."

Julie was staring at Sumita with an arched eyebrow.

"Okay," Sumita said, "so I also made my own salsa and homemade corn tortillas and a bunch of other stuff. I can sometimes go a little overboard. Anyway, my dad just sat at the table and looked at his plate like he wasn't even sure it was food."

"And somehow this surprised you..." Julie said, almost breathless with feigned disbelief.

"A lot of Indians like Mexican food," Sumita said, though Julie didn't budge. "Anyway, he did eat a little bit of everything, though you could tell he wasn't very excited about it. The one thing he really enjoyed was the rice pudding, which isn't all that different from the Indian version."

Amanda shook her head and leaned over to kiss her wife on the cheek. Jenna felt rather awkward and didn't really know what to do, so she did the same as Amanda, but she didn't kiss Sumita on the cheek. Sumita turned her head at the last moment and kissed Jenna on the lips, still giggling softly.

After dinner and dessert - Sumita made rice pudding, because of course she did - Jenna and Julie washed up together.

"I'm really happy for you guys," Julie said to Jenna as they finished putting the dishes away. "When we came up to visit last Christmas, I was really worried about Sumi. She seemed lost, like without Rajeev, she didn't have anything to live for. She's a whole different person now, and it's mostly because of you."

Jenna felt her chest tighten and her face burn. She didn't know what to say. Though she knew in her head how hard it must have been for Sumita after Rajeev died, before that moment, she had never really understood.

"And you're, I mean..." Jenna said, getting a little choked up. "You're really okay that I'm with Sumita? You two have known each other for so long, and you..."

"It's completely fine," Julie said, in a voice that shut down any protest Jenna could make. "It's better than fine; it's wonderful. Sumi and I had our moment, a long time ago. We didn't grab hold of it then, and now it's firmly in the past. She's with you now, and I'm with Amanda, and that's the way it's supposed to be. I still love Sumi very much, but her heart belongs to you."

Jenna couldn't say anything in response, so she pulled Julie into a short, fierce hug.

"She's crazy about you, you know," Julie said to Jenna when they pulled apart. "She tells me something about you every time she calls me, and she sounds giddy. I've never heard her giddy about anyone but her daughter before."

"Thank you, Julie," Jenna said. "It means a lot to me that you're happy for us."

"Just don't screw it up, okay?" Julie replied. "You may be bigger and stronger, but if you hurt her, I'll come up here and kick your ass..."

"Okay," Jenna replied, laughing, and they walked out into the living room together.

That night, Jenna made slow, passionate love to Sumita, not caring in the least if Julie and Amanda heard her moans and cries in their bedroom on the other side of the house.

The next afternoon, when Julie and Amanda pulled away in their rental Prius, Jenna was surprised to discover how sad she was to see them go.

~~~

"You're sure Gita's okay going by herself?" Jenna asked. "It'll be the first time she has Christmas without either of her parents."

"For the third time, yes," Sumita replied. "We've been going to Dina's house for Christmas for years. They're practically family. Gita told me, quite firmly, that she would miss me, but she wanted me to go and meet your parents. Quit fussing."

It was late afternoon on Christmas Eve, and they were getting ready to leave for Jenna's parents' house. Jenna's day had been relaxed and pleasant so far. She and Rose had work that morning, delivering Christmas catering orders, and then they had picked up Brendan and driven to Sumita's house for a nice, non-Christmassy lunch together. Now that it was nearly time to leave, though, Jenna was a tangle of nerves.

"Do you have everything you need?" she asked, though Sumita's bag was zipped up and sitting next to the bedroom door. Jenna's bag was the one still open, just in case she remembered something else she had to bring with her.

"Yes," Sumita replied, not quite suppressing a laugh. "We're just going to Poulsbo; we're not flying to India or anything. Though we'll be doing that too one of these days..."

"I can't think about that right now," Jenna said. "Just meeting my parents is enough for this week."

"That's fine, Jenna dear," Sumita replied, flashing Jenna an extra-cheerful smile to reassure her. "I'm really looking forward to it."

"Well I'm not," Jenna said. "I know Mom said everything was okay, but they still kind of..."

"Relax, love," Sumita said, taking Jenna's hand in hers to stop the nervous fidgeting. "Everything is going to be fine. I know you've had your problems in the past, but your parents seem like good people. Everything will work out."

"You don't know that!" Jenna cried. "You don't know what it's like to have your parents throw you out of the house. You don't know what it's like to have total strangers call you horrible names and spit on you in the street just because of who you are. I'm sorry, Sumi, but you don't get to come out at this point in your life, when you have everything, and tell me it's all going to be okay."

Jenna stood there a while, quietly fuming, and Sumita let her be.

"You're right, and I'm sorry," Sumita said after a long pause. "I can't even imagine some of the shit that's happened to you, and I'm really sorry you had to go through it alone. But I do know what it's like to be yelled at in the street - brown people haven't been especially popular in parts of this country, especially recently."

Jenna's expression softened a little.

"And," Sumita continued, "I also know that sick feeling you get in your stomach when your parents look at you like you're a disappointment and a deviant. Just because I stayed married to Rajeev, doesn't mean I didn't have my own family drama."

"Oh, Sumi," Jenna said. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"It's okay," Sumita replied. "When Rajeev and I had our troubles, around when Gita was born, my mother kind of figured out why I couldn't be the wife I was supposed to be. Nobody used words like 'lesbian' or 'homosexual', but it was clear enough. It wasn't anything like as bad as your parents, but it wasn't easy."

Jenna wrapped her arms around Sumita and held her. "Are you okay now?" Jenna asked. "With your parents, I mean?"

"I think so," Sumita replied. "They were happy enough once Rajeev and I worked things out. Maybe they thought it was just a phase I was going through or something. I don't know."

"Wow," Jenna said. "So how do you think they'll be when you take me to meet them? You keep saying you want to."

"It won't come as a complete surprise, so that's good," Sumita said with a sad little laugh. "Anyway, I think it'll be easier now. I've already done my family duty, had my kid. My life is finally my own. I do love my parents, but I don't really feel like I need their approval anymore."

Sumita picked up her bag. "We should probably get going," she said. "Do you have everything?"

"I guess so," Jenna replied, zipping up her bag. "And if I don't, it's really not that big a deal."

"Well, then, let's go," Sumita said, and they walked out to the garage.

"You look really nice, babe," Jenna said as Sumita sat down in the passenger's seat of her little green Toyota. Sumita was wearing a long white knit skirt and a sweater with a red and green diamond pattern. It was festive without being overly Christmassy. Jenna was wearing (what else?) a white button-down shirt, blue jeans, a black leather belt, and cowboy boots.

"Thank you," Sumita replied, smiling her big happy smile. "You do too."

Jenna drove over to Rose's house, where they transferred their bags to Rose's car, and then Rose drove to the ferry terminal. After a dark, rainy ferry ride across Puget Sound and an even darker, rainier drive across Bainbridge Island and the Kitsap Peninsula, they were there. Bright Christmas lights strung along the eaves and around the front door welcomed them to the Ibsen house.

~~~

"Are you ready?" Jenna asked Sumita as they climbed out of the back seat of Rose's car.

"I'm ready," Sumita replied, smiling. "Are you?"

"I guess I have to be," Jenna said. "Let's get out of the rain."

All four of them dashed onto the front porch, and then inside the house when Mrs. Ibsen opened the front door. She looked very festive in her red wool Christmas sweater and long denim skirt.

"Welcome, welcome," she said. "God Jul. Glad you all made it here safe in this weather."

"It wasn't so bad, just dark," Rose replied, and set her bag down to give her mother a hug. Brendan and Jenna also got hugs.

"And you must be this Sumita I've heard so much about," Mrs. Ibsen said to Sumita, holding out her hand. Jenna shrank into a corner.

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Ibsen," Sumita replied, giving her a firm handshake. "Thank you so much for inviting me."

"Call me Ingrid, dear," she said. "And we're happy to have you. We're so pleased that Jenna finally saw fit to bring someone home to meet her old parents."

Jenna turned beet red and tried to hide behind the coat rack. Her mother was in full Mom mode, and Jenna could tell she was going to make a fuss over everything. This wasn't going to be the easy, low-key holiday she hoped for. Her father popped into the room the next moment, in his own loud Christmas sweater, and there was another round of hugs and handshakes.

"It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Desai," Jenna's father Richard said to Sumita, shaking her hand and trying his best to be charming and gracious, though his shoulders were a little stiff and his smile a little forced. Charming and gracious weren't skills he practiced often.

"It's nice to meet you too, Mr. Ibsen," Sumita replied, with a smile that was warm enough for both of them. "You have a lovely house."

Ingrid beamed at the compliment, and Richard even loosened up a bit.

The interior of the house was transformed for the holidays. After nearly fifty years in the same place, Jenna's parents had accumulated a lot of Christmas decorations. Every doorway and windowsill had a fresh bundle of green tacked up over it, filling the house with the scent of cut pine. A handmade felt Advent calendar, purchased at some long-ago church rummage sale, brightened the entryway. Six oversized stockings hung from the mantel, five old ones embroidered with their owners' names and one brand new one. Sumita got a little choked up when she noticed it.

An eight foot fir tree stood in the corner of the living room, strung with white lights and decorated with a wonderfully diverse array of ornaments. There were crude, hand-painted ceramics, made by Jenna and Rose as children, along with Brendan's smoother next-generation efforts; Nordic wood figurines, including a little skier whose hat had stretched over the years to twice the length of his body; singular glass creations from Seattle; and souvenirs from every family trip and Christmas season since Jenna and Rose were little girls.

They arrived well after dinnertime, but it was Christmas Eve, so Ingrid had a big pot of the traditional risgrot (rice porridge) on the stove. They sat down together at the dining room table and everybody got a bowl of the warm, creamy stuff, topped with cinnamon and butter. It tasted a lot like Sumita's rice pudding served straight from the stove instead of chilled.

"Would you like to do the honors, Brendan?" Ingrid asked, handing him an extra small bowl.

"Of course, Gram," Brendan replied, and got up from the table to go outside and leave the bowl by the barn door. He hadn't believed in Julenisse (something like Nordic Santa Claus) for years, but he still enjoyed the tradition, even when it was raining, which happened most Christmas Eves.

Jenna leaned over to whisper in Sumita's ear, "Be careful. There's probably an almond in your bowl. Whoever finds it wins a prize. It's supposed to be the luck of the draw, but Mom somehow always manages to get it into the right bowl..."

About halfway through her porridge, Sumita crunched down on something hard, and she was glad of the warning. Jenna's father Richard, who was next to Sumita at the table, heard the crunch and smiled. Sumita wondered what exactly this prize was that she had won.

After porridge, Ingrid served coffee and sweets. Sumita and Brendan were presented with elaborately decorated frosted gingerbread men - Sumita for being the guest and finding the almond, Brendan for being the only grandchild of an indulgent grandmother - and a plate of assorted Christmas cookies appeared in the middle of the table.

After dessert and washing up, Jenna's parents were about ready for bed. Like their daughters, they were early risers.

"Now I'm sorry, Sumita dear," Ingrid said, "but Richard's turned the guest room into an office, so you'll have to bunk down with Jenna tonight. We just don't have room anywhere else."

"Ah, Mom," Jenna said, but there was nothing sensible she could possibly say. Whatever embarrassment she felt earlier was nothing compared to that moment.

"Anyway," Ingrid continued, ignoring her daughter's discomfort, "I hope you don't mind. I don't imagine it'll be the first time you two've shared a bed."

Jenna wanted to sink through the floor and disappear.

"No, I don't mind," Sumita replied, without even a hint of discomfort. "Thanks again for having me."

"You're welcome, dear," Ingrid said, and gave her a quick hug before going upstairs to bed.

"Are you okay?" Sumita asked Jenna after Ingrid was gone.

"Not really," Jenna replied, laughing at herself. "It's been a long day. Let's go up to bed."

Jenna led the way to her old bedroom, and Sumita followed. They alternated with Rose and Brendan in the guest bathroom and then climbed into Jenna's small bed together. It was ... cozy.

"So what is it about parents that can turn a strong, confident woman like my Jenna into a nervous wreck?" Sumita asked as they snuggled together. Her voice was warm and tender, knowing she was wandering onto dangerous ground.

"Well, you know," Jenna said, sighing, "I'm still getting used to the idea of my parents knowing I have a girlfriend and not hating me for it."

"Oh, Jenna," Sumita said, hugging Jenna close.

"You're the first person I've had in this bed since..." Jenna said, letting the words trail off into memory.

"Since who?" Sumita asked, her voice low and gentle as a feather.

"Since Susie Parker," Jenna said. Her voice had that distracted quality of someone visiting the past. "We were in here with the door closed, not doing anything really. Just kissing. And then my mother walked in, and..."

Jenna took a breath.

"That was kind of when my life started to unravel," she said. "So it's a big deal that you're here, tonight, in bed with me."

"I am here," Sumita said, "and I'm very proud of you. I love you, Jenna."

"I love you too, Sumita," Jenna replied, and kissed Sumita's hand. They soon drifted off to sleep together.

~~~

Brendan was up very early the next morning. He may have been too old to believe in Santa Claus, but he was still big on Christmas presents. Over the next half-hour, everyone else drifted into the living room in their pajamas - Sumita had packed Rajeev's old pajama bottoms to go with the top she usually wore - and gathered around the tree. Ingrid brewed a pot of coffee, and Sumita provided breakfast, a coffee cake from a wonderful German bakery in Redmond.

Brendan opened the first gift, from Rose, which turned out to be his very first smartphone. He was over the moon about it, even after listening all of Rose's stern warnings about what he was and was not allowed to do with it.

The pile of presents under the tree gradually turned into a pile of torn wrapping paper and a room of smiling faces. Richard and Ingrid were touched when they opened Sumita's gifts, a very nice bottle of Columbia Valley cabernet and a box of homemade Indian sweets.

Jenna was on pins and needles when Sumita opened her gift. She had rushed when painting it in order to get it done in time, and she really wanted Sumita to like it.

"It's wonderful," Sumita said, getting a little choked up. Sumita passed the small square canvas around for the others to admire. When it Rose passed it to her father, he held it out in front of himself for a good long while, staring intently at it.