Slightly Off-Road

Sure enough, we heard strange sounds and grappling in the master bedroom. When we got there, I had to put my hand over mom's face; I knew she wanted to scream. I then let go and wielded that camera.

A few clicks of the shutter release and mom's divorce was looking a whole lot better. We quietly left the two of them; it was such a 'touching scene' of the love between two of the same sex...

Well, we quietly left and snuck into my old room. Later we snuck out my French doors and then came in the front door loud enough for him to hear.

Mom informed 'the old man' that his plans of keeping everything for himself were gone; she presented the photos that I had just proofed and printed out from my desktop. He quickly grabbed them and tore them up.

Mom: "Well, that's great. We can reprint them for you in 3 by 5 or portrait size; which do you prefer? Let's can the pleasantries. You fully intended to screw me, so now it's only fair that I do the same. I know that you kept this secret not just from me but from your family who are not exactly 'liberal' on sexual orientation."

Mom: "So, why don't you re-patriate my money back from overseas; while you're at it, let me have a little taste of that trust fund money, say 50%. The way I figure it, you owe me $10,000 that was mine plus $500,000 which WILL be mine by tomorrow."

I was mortified at what happened next. I should've protected mom. With no warning, he just slapped her as hard as he could. Irate, I rushed forward and staggered him with a thunderous blow.

My fist struck home squarely, knocking him out. He fell like a sack of potatoes. I ran to mom, who slowly arose, rubbing her jaw. She was okay, though. Relieved that I had saved her, she hugged me.

He came back to consciousness, noting our presence thru cloudy vision. I felt so manly and protective as mom lectured him, but stood behind my muscular presence, using me as the ultimate bodyguard.

Mom: "Oh, you're up I see. Well, we just wanted you to know after your unexpected answer to our lawsuit [she rubbed her sore jaw] that we would be changing our terms slightly. Now we will retain this house and that car. You can keep our commingled funds overseas. On the other hand, I will take 100%...that's ALL...of that lovely trust fund money."

Mom: "If you don't, those pictures will be viral on the web and delivered by Federal Express to every friend and relative you still have. I think the IRS will like to know why entertaining that gentleman was a legitimate 'business expense'. Finally, there were a lot of currency transactions between you. I wonder what THAT was all about?"

For those still keeping score, the count was now "No balls, three strikes". Mom and I ended up with a cool million, a year old Lincoln Town Car and our mini-estate home.

Now, we had a deed to the house, title to the car, and a cleared check of one million. Best of all, the divorce went thru, and mom got her maiden name back (my idea).

As to her 'old man', he kept all of the commingled checking account ($25,000) but little else. The last we heard of him was that he had been busted for some minor violation at a 'bath house' on Fire Island, wherever that is.

Right after the divorce, mom applied for a new license with her maiden name. As soon as we got it, we put the old house up for sale. It was a buyers' market but we still got $500,000 for it. We would have to get by with only $1,500,000; it would be tough going, but if anyone could do it...

We moved out west. The first thing we did was try and 'pull a fast one' by getting hitched in Vegas. In one of those drive-thru chapels, they made it all nice and legal, to our muffled joy and ecstasy. I had married my own mom; the woman of my fantasies was all mine, and with the state's approval.

We bought a ranch in upstate Nevada. No, it wasn't the Ponderosa, but it still was green (most of the year) and allowed us two horses and four burros.

About three months after the birth of our first child, a boy, we were lazing in bed on a Saturday morning. On one side was my (lucky) son, noisily suckling mom's delicious breastmilk.

On the other side was her 'other son' (me) also drinking that white liquid gold. It had its usual effect on me as my pole reached full ten inch grandeur.

Meanwhile, outside of our window in the pasture, our stallion was using HIS morning 'wood' on our mare. Watching them go at it, I asked mom to put the baby up with a bottle of formula.

She did; as soon as she got back to our room, I made like the stallion and bred my mother/wife furiously. As the stallion grunted with release, I let loose a record load of baby-making sperm into mom's once again incredibly fertile womb.

After the release, I fell to the bed, a worn out stallion. Panting to regain my composure, I mused on what I had created that day. Mom had worked hard to recover her fantastic figure and had only recently done it.

Now I was selfishly beginning the process to get that trim tummy all swollen once again. Frankly, I couldn't wait. I was always so proud to be her squire.

It also was fun to see my beautiful mother/wife waddling to the barn to see the mare with foal just as swollen as mom. Unlike the mare, though, my mother could have more than one at a time. As a matter of fact, my wife blessed us with four of our final tally of eight. Let's hear it for Nature...