Special Effects

"Andy, that you?"

"No mate, it's Santa Claus. Is that boyfriend still in here?"

"Naw. I've been hanging around outside until I saw him leave. How's the girl? You left anything for me?"

I looked around. The black mass that was grunting away behind the table seemed to big to be Mark - must be Will. It looked as if he was one the vinegar strokes and both of us could hear screechs like an angry barn owl coming from underneath the black material.

"Left anything for you? We've spent all this time bringing it up to the boil for you for you. Listen."

Not only could Jacko and myself hear Pauline having yet another of her noisy comeuppances, a couple of the kids looked around as well, Puzzlement was on their faces but they soon lost interest as she quieted down into a string of sobs. They started eating their toffee apples again and looked back up at the movie.

"What's she like as a fuck?" Jacko asked.

"Four and a half stars, mate. Just give her quim a bit of a wipe out with that black out material and get into it while you've got the chance. By the way, what did you do with that hat?"

"Still got it in my pocket - a memento, like."

Jodi came out from underneath the curtain as Jacko was starting to have carnal knowledge of Pauline without bothering to introduce himself first. I guess you'd have to say we were never going to make the grade as gentlemen.

"Andy, when Jacko's had his turn, cut a slit open in the canvas and we'll piss off, and take the bitch with us."

"OK, where to?"

"There's a mobile pie shop a couple of tents. I'm feeling a bit peckish. Well have something to eat and some hot coffee while Pauline gives us a round of blow jobs behind the pie cart."

"That's a terrible idea," I said. "Making her get down on her knees in all that damp grass. We'd never forgive ourselves if she got housemaid's knee."

Jodi chuckled: "Don't worry, she's far more likely to get a bad case of wanker's wrist."

THE END