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The April Fool's Day Trap

by secondsamuel 03/15/19

Author's Note: I am recovering from repeated surgeries on both arms to correct a degenerative nerve condition. To write this, I use voice to text software which isn't always accurate. As my recovery will take considerable time, I have decided to continue writing and give my best effort at doing the thing I love. Please, if you spot any typos or grammatical mistakes, consider volunteering as my editor to allow me to write more stories more frequently with better quality.

This is a April Fool's Day contest piece so please vote!

"Come on, Lenny," Alex said. "It's your birthday!"

"Yeah sure. You know every straight guy dreams of going to look at dildos and porn with his friends once they turn eighteen."

"There are women there," Mason said slowly. "It's pretty upscale..."

"Right, except for the jack shack in the back..."

DW's Adult Megaplexxx could be seen easily from the highway, a bastion of hope and desire for any teenage boy traveling out of this barren, empty existence in southern Oklahoma towards the Texas border. Across the state lines, stronger beer, actual cities, and even excitement called out towards anyone able to pool enough gas money to make their way down I-35.

I'm sure tucked away in Oklahoma City there might have been a few adult stores, places where someone might gain the same experience. But the distance and prudish nature of the state prevented any such establishment from proclaiming their existence right off the highway. DW's stood only a few miles from the border, where any adolescent boy might fantasize about what went out inside of that nondescript, windowless building advertising access to every kind of porn we could imagine.

Trip after to trip to Dallas encouraged our imaginings. I can't say I remember the first time one of us noticed the building. For years our parents had taken turns ferrying us back and forth to Dallas for various baseball tournaments. But after puberty hit, each of us would stare out the window, elbowing each other when the 24-hour sign showed up on the horizon. For years we talked about how once we were 18, we would all go and spend our allowances on as much pornography as we could carry...

Alex and Mason turned 18 back in February, making the pilgrimage against my protests. Still, they made good on their promise to return with porn, bringing me several magazines still in the cellophane; a first for me! But magazines offered nothing new, or a least nothing that wasn't available on the computer. Even so, there was something to said about not having to wait for a photo to load or for my mom to be off the phone to look at these images.

Neither of my friends dared bring home a VHS. Hiding a few magazines underneath a mattress was nothing out of the ordinary, but finding a place for a video, and hoping no one else accidentally discovered it seemed too great of a chance. Seeing a porn film would have been enough. Instead, my friends came home with these outlandish stories. Each one stating over and over again that in the back room, not only were there a dozen or more different screens all playing different porn videos, in each room girls waited, willing to do anything. Girls willing to suck and fuck any dick that dared poke itself through a small little hole.


I had the unfortunate birthday of April 1. Personally I never much cared for the holiday, nor for the type of person that needs an entire day to celebrate at someone else's expense. Anyone who wonders why I didn't simply explain to my friends my feelings of sensitivity about this particular date has never been in the company of teenage boys, who are, at their best, an animal compared nearest to a jackal.

Forget about the toy buzzers and fake piece of gum. Alex had an inventiveness to his cruelty, and he reveled in each April Fool's Day prank. When I was a kid, Alex sent me a professional letter from a law firm stating I had been adopted. When I turned 16, they removed all the tires from my car. Last year, he got Mason to pour icy hot into my jockstrap, causing me to run screaming out of the locker room and into the hallway at school, my white baseball pants clinging around my ankles, exposing myself bare ass in front of the school, my hands clutching my burning balls.

No fucking way in hell were Alex and Mason taking me across the border to a magical land where all the porn and blow jobs a man could want were available behind the doors of any sex stop. Still, there was the draw of choosing my own adult entertainment and the dull boredom of another Friday night in Ardmore....

Plus I was 18!

The contrast between my two friends stayed consistent with their usual demeanor. Mason was a typical dude, stocky, though largely athletic, always sporting an accidental five o'clock shadow. Alex barely looked like he belonged on the baseball team, though he could run faster than any of us. He was a wisp of a man, with high cheekbones, and a toned form that showed athleticism without seeming masculine.

We'd have bullied him endlessly if he hadn't stolen more bases than the rest of us combined. There was also something strange about him, something simmering under the surface that made all of us a little uneasy. Even still, now and then guys had their fun about his feminine looks, but because of his casual cruelty and aloof disposition, it never went too far. Still no slur ever seemed to bother Alex and so no insult ever seemed to stick. Though at times he did disappear into his own world, which is where he was while Mason rambled on about porn.

Finally we arrived, for the first time actually turning into the parking lot fulfilling a fantasy that seemed more shameful each year that passed without any real action. As Mason parked, I was surprised to find my heart firmly lodged in my throat. Though I'd looked forward to this moment for years, lusting after the idea of a building completely devoted to displaying every one of my most perverse fantasies, something held me back. There was that ever-present fear, that even after crossing state lines, we might run into someone we knew.

There were so many cars already parked, it was as if DW's had a happy hour at six o'clock on a Friday night. I found myself scanning through the parking lot, convinced that someone I knew would ambush me any second as I walked towards the doors, shaming me for having any interest in sex.

"What's with the backpack?" I asked, still nervously looking around the lot.

"Oh just something to take the porn home in," Alex said, opening the door.

I never even thought about it again.

He opened the cloudy glass door and I jumped a little as the bell rang, announcing our visit like an alarm bell. I expect everyone in the room to look up and stare, but other than the clerk, the completely male crowd simply went back to thumbing through the stacks of tapes and magazines.

I tried to take it in all at once. The shelves were filled with hundreds of different titles: Anal, Fetish, Teen, Group, Gay, and of course MILF. Another aisle in the store was devoted to sex toys; dildos and vibrators that challenged anything I claimed between my legs. Behind the counter, the clerk guarded a selection of bongs and pipes crossing the line into other deviants lifestyles.

We wandered at first, years of friendship through our budding sexuality overcoming any inherent awkwardness. After spending most of my formative years swapping old Hustler magazines with Alex and Mason, standing in this adult store in Texas seemed like arriving at El Dorado. Especially as we saw many of those old dirty magazines bundled in packages labeled 2 for 10 dollars.

Alex went over to the clerk, while Mason and I started over at the bachelor and bachelorette supplies, working our way through the fake penises toys and fun party games. I could sense that the store manager was eyeing us a little too closely, and I hadn't been waiting for my entire life to find a cake tray in the shape of a cock. Still, something stopped me from speaking up, even though I really just wanted to ask Mason to immediately take me to that back room they had built up in my imaginations.

Part of me knew it would be a trick. I just knew as soon as I asked, Alex would scream April Fools and I'd hear about it the rest of the ride home. I just hoped they hadn't been bullshitting about the backroom. Even the thought of just jerking off to an actual video seemed novelty enough for my 18th birthday.

I wandered around, aimlessly, finding my way towards the MILF porn. This seemed new compared the same old teenagers spreading their legs for the camera. Maybe it was just my own particular fetish, a desire for the things that I couldn't have, or at least more unlikely to happen. I dunno, there was always something nagging about masturbating to images of teenage girls when I might have been out meeting them.

Not that most of the girls in Ardmore would have risked offending polite society by putting out. Even so, the opportunity existed, if Alex and Mason were to be believed. I'd had enough of the two of them telling about sharing Laura Cummings; a bullshit story about the both of them taking turns stuffing the town slut's mouth with their cocks and cum.

"Are you sure you don't want to take this home with you?" Mason said, waving a long double-end dildo at me.

"Put that away," I hissed.

"I'm sure you know where to put it," He smirked.

"Come on man, we are gonna get in trouble," I said.

"Okay, okay," Mason put his arms up in a conciliatory gesture. "So what do you think, is it everything you dreamed of?"

"I think I'll get one of these," I said, holding up several different titles.

"Why don't you wait," Mason said. "Alex is already in the back."

"Oh alright," I said.

Mason led us up to the counter, where the bored looking middle-aged man behind the desk seemed entirely consumed by the Rangers game. We both exchanged our money for tokens and were pointed in the direction of the backroom. Mason held open the door, which led into a small, claustrophobic corridor. As the door shut behind him, the area was almost completely pitch black, except for the soft, little glows of individual television screens in the wide open doors.

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