The Black Hat

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The second thing that happened was that I was discovered. It was the Tuesday after I returned from my St. Louis trip. I was sitting at the restaurant having lunch when Candy came in. She looked my way, saw me, and her face lit up with a smile. "What's up with that" I thought and then she headed straight for my table. As I stood up and pulled out a chair for her I looked around and noticed several empty booths and tables. Once she was seated she said:

"And how is my secret admirer today?"

"I guess it is just plain admirer now. Who snitched?"

"Nobody sweetie. Believe it or not, but just because I'm blond doesn't mean that I'm dumb. Every time Christy would tell me that my secret admirer was here I would look around and I noticed that you were the only one who was here all those times. Simple process of elimination. Plus, the last time you bought my breakfast I just happened to look in the window when I got outside and I saw Christy bring you the bill."

"I guess that puts an end to my fun."

"Maybe. Maybe not. There is fun and then there is another kind of fun."

Before I could ask her what she meant by that Martha showed up to take Candy's order. After Martha left Candy changed the subject and said:

"You already know I'm Candy, but who are you? All the waitresses here call you something different. Christy calls you Rob, Tiffany calls you Bobby, Kit calls you Bob and Martha calls you Mister Dalton."

"I prefer Rob, but I have been known to answer to "Hey you."

"Hey you? I like that. So tell me Hey You, what do you do?"

We spent the next twenty minutes making general conversation while eating and then it was time for me to get back to work. As I was getting ready to go Candy opened her purse, took out a card and handed it to me.

"I always have my cell with me. Call me. Soon."

I smiled at her and said, "I would really love to. Really, I would, but I'm married."

"That doesn't make you all bad, just more interesting. Call me."

As I walked out of the restaurant I was thinking, "If she doesn't care if I'm married I sure don't." I waited until four that afternoon and then I called her and asked her to have dinner with me on Wednesday and she said she would love to.

When I got home that night I told Mary Alice that I had to go to St. Louis again the next day and wouldn't be home until Friday. All she said was:

"Don't forget we have my sister's birthday party to go to on Saturday."

I didn't have a trip to St. Louis, but AAA suggested that I fake one so they could get Mary Alice and Herb on tape. Given what the two had done while I was on my last trip it was a considered a good bet that either Wednesday or Thursday, or maybe both, the two of them would spend the night again at my place.

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I had a great time with Candy on Wednesday night and when I took her home and walked her to her door I told her that I had enjoyed myself immensely and that I would like to do it again. She laughed as she unlocked her door and then she turned to me and said:

"It isn't over yet Hey You" and she took hold of my tie and pulled me into her condo.

She was wild, she was hot and she lived up to the promises that her super sexy appearance made. It was an exhausting three hours and when I couldn't respond any more and was lying next to her trying to recover Candy asked:

"What time do you have to be home?"

"I don't. I'm away on a business trip tonight."

"Oh lucky me. I hope that you like being awakened with a blow job."

"I probably could learn to like it."

She did wake me up with a hum job and that led to a spirited romp followed by us showering together. As I dressed Candy asked:

"Any chance you will still be out of town on business tonight?"

"Unfortunately I'll be back. I have something scheduled for tonight."

"Some one whose eyes I might want to scratch out?"

"No, it is a business meeting."

"When can I see you again?"

"How about tomorrow night."

"That will work for me."

As I drove to work I wondered why I was passing up free pussy from Candy just to pay for some from Dawn, but even as I asked myself that question I knew the answer. I had committed myself to seeing her and I knew that she was depending on the money so she could take care of her kids. She was expecting me and because of it she may have turned down another caller and I didn't think it would be right of me to call and cancel now.

At ten I called AAA and was told that Herb had spent both nights at my place and it was all on tape. I swung by AAA at lunch and picked up their reports and the audio and video tapes and then I stopped by the bank and rented a deposit box to hold them. I'd already decided that I wasn't going to go for a divorce, but what was in the box was my insurance policy in case Mary Alice decided to bail and clean me out in the process.

I picked up Dawn at six and we had dinner, took in a movie and then stopped at The Black Mushroom for a couple of drinks and some dancing. Once in the motel room Dawn moved into my arms and whispered:

"Hold me Bobby. Hold me and kiss me and let me pretend that this isn't just another business transaction."

The way she said it touched me and made me realize just how bad life had stuck it to her. That night I didn't fuck her; I did my best to make love to her. When I took her home she kissed me and asked:

"Next week?"

I kissed her again and told her I would be there. On the way back to the motel I felt like a heel. Dawn deserved a better life than what she had and I wasn't making it any better for her by acting like I wasn't just another trick.

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I called Mary Alice from work on Friday and told her that I was back from my trip, but would be home late since Harry wanted to take me out to dinner and discuss what had occurred when I visited the client. I didn't expect her to say anything and she didn't disappoint me.

I picked Candy up and we went for dinner and then dancing. In the car on the way to her apartment Candy asked:

"What's the story with you Hey You? Wife doesn't understand you?"

"I think in my case that is a true statement. She sure didn't understand me well enough to know that I wouldn't take kindly to finding out that she was cheating on me with the next door neighbor."

"When did you find out?"

"Three weeks ago."

"So I'm just a revenge fuck?"

"Not in the least. Mary Alice and I hadn't had a sex life for quite a while and all that finding out what she as doing with Herb was free me up to do some playing of my own. Until I caught her I was staying faithful even though the marriage was floundering."

"What did she say when you caught her?"

"She doesn't know. They were too busy to notice me and I turned and walked away."

"So I caught you at just the right time."

"Indeed you did and I'm glad of it. Okay, now that you know my story what's yours? Why did a stone fox who has every man who sees her drooling sit down at a married man's table and give him what was basically an engraved invitation?"

"Busy playing catch-up and I thought I would give my secret admirer a try."

"Playing catch-up?"

"You have been around long enough to know what I looked like five years ago. You have to know that I couldn't get a date and that I had zip for a love life at the time. Anyway, after an extreme diet and a personal trainer got me into the shape I am in now I've started making up for lost time and I've been busy sampling what is out there. I'm looking for the keeper. Would that maybe be you Hey You? Are you a keeper?"

"Apparently Mary Alice didn't think so."

"One woman's loss can be another woman's gain. So far I like what I see. What time do you need to be home tonight?"

"When I get there."

"Oh goody. Plan on being very, very late."

It was three in the morning when I got home and Mary Alice didn't wake up when I climbed into bed.

Saturday was a busy day for me as I tried to catch up on the yard work. I had cut the grass and was busy pulling weeds out of the flower beds when Herb leaned over the fence and said:

"Hey Rob; long time no see. How have you been?"

"Busy busy busy Herb. Between the job and keeping up with what's going on around here I don't have much free time."

"Come on over and have a beer."

"I'd like to, but I have to get this done before Mary Alice and I have to go over to her mom's place to celebrate her sister's birthday."

Besides, I thought, a beer might loosen me up enough to do you some serious bodily harm.

"Well, offers open if you can find some time" and he walked back to his garage. I wondered what the fuck Mary Alice saw in him. Maybe it was a case of "birds of a feather." He was divorced because his wife caught him cheating. Maybe they got along because he was a cheater and she wanted to cheat. I got back to my weeding.

The birthday party for Angela was mostly family. I always got along good with Mary Alice's family. They were all nice people and they all seemed to like me. I was out on the back patio looking up at the stars when Angie came out and stood beside me. We stood there silent for a moment or two and then she said:

"What's up with you and Mary Alice?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh come on Rob, the two of you are acting toward each other like you are each living on a different planet."

So I wasn't the only one who noticed that Mary Alice didn't connect with me any more. I considered my answer for a bit and then said:

"I don't know Angie. Maybe it's my job. I've been putting in a lot of hours lately and maybe Mary Alice is feeling left alone too much. Can't be helped though. Got to pay the bills."

"Maybe you need to find a way to spend more time with her."

I almost laughed at that. Find a way to spend more time with her? I was trying like hell to find ways to keep me away from her.

Mary Alice was in a good mood on the way home and when we got there and were getting ready for bed Mary Alice said:

"Rob honey, it has been a while since we made love. Are you in the mood?"

I wasn't all that interested, but to say no would not be natural. And then I thought so what? She had been saying no to me for months. I almost said, "If you are horny go and see Herb" but I didn't, I just said:

"No thanks Mary Alice, I'm not in the mood."

I saw her face cloud up a little at that, but she didn't say anything. She just put on her nightgown, got in bed and turned out the lamp on her side.

Over breakfast in the morning Mary Alice kept looking at me and finally she put her coffee cup down and said:

"Why didn't you want to make love to me last night?"

The first thing that leapt into my mind was, "Because I don't want Herb's leftovers" but what I said was:

"It has been over six months since the last time. I've tried, but all I've gotten was excuses. Headaches, backaches, whatever, and I've gone through withdrawal. I've managed to get myself to the point where I don't miss it and quite frankly I didn't want to do it with you and then go through another six months of withdrawal again."

"That isn't natural Rob. Men always want sex. Are you getting it some place else?"

"Funny you should ask that Mary Alice. That is exactly what I've been wondering about you. Wondering if the reason you haven't been interested in having sex with me all these months is because you have a lover. One of the neighbors maybe? Some one close by to take care of you while I'm busy working my ass off to pay for this house you just had to have and all the other things you've wanted."

Her face lost a little color when I said that and she said, "Don't be ridiculous."

"Yeah. It does sound a little far fetched doesn't it."

I got up from the table, refilled my coffee cup and went out to the garage to work on the car. I spent the day working on projects around the house, had a rather silent meal at dinner time and then watched some TV until around ten Mary Alice was already in bed sleeping when I got to the bedroom.

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Over the next month I co-existed with Mary Alice, spent every Thursday night with Dawn Marie and dated Candy two or three times a week. The more time I spent with Candy and the more I learned about her the more I thought back to the night she told me she was looking for a keeper and then asked me if I was one. The more I learned about her the more I was thinking that she was one -- a keeper.

I began to seriously consider ending the farce with Mary Alice and then putting a full court press on Candy. One Wednesday night after Candy and I had worked up a major sweat I asked he if she had made any progress in finding her keeper.

"Actually I have. I'm just waiting for him to make his move."

"Am I in the way?"

"You men can be so dense sometimes."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because my "keeper" is in my bed right now."

"Oh."

"Yes Hey You, oh."

"What is it that makes you think that I am a keeper?"

"We may have tripled in size over the last ten years Rob, but for all of us born here this is still a small town and word gets around. I know all about you. I have a cousin who works with you and he tells me that you are a hard worker and are well thought of by upper management. A girl I went to school with is involved with the same charity to that you volunteer to work with. She has the hots for you by the way. I know dozens of people who know you and they all say that you are the real deal. Some of them even know that things aren't right between you and your wife and they know, or at least feel, that the problem is with her but you still soldier on and do your best. So I know what kind of man you are Hey You and as an added bonus you are absolutely marvelous in the sack."

"I'm not too clear on socially acceptable behavior. Can I propose to you now or do I have to wait until my divorce is final?"

"I think the wise thing to do would be for me to accept your proposal, fuck your brains out as a sign of commitment and then keep our plans quiet until your divorce is final" and then she did the commitment thing.

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Mary Alice was a little stunned when I handed her the divorce papers.

"I don't understand Rob. Why are you doing this to me -- to us?"

"There is no us Mary Alice, there is you and Herb."

"Oh God, you know."

"Yes Mary Alice, I know and I have audio, video and the reports from the private detectives to back them up. Don't bother with the "It isn't what you think" or the "I can explain" or the "He means nothing to me, it was only sex" routine because none of it matters. How it started, why it started and how long it has been going on don't mean a thing to me. The only thing that means anything is what I saw with my own two eyes when I came home one night when you thought I was out of town. All that matters is the time I spent standing in the bedroom doorway watching Herb fuck you in the ass. You were so into it that neither one of you even noticed I was there.

"The bright side to all this is you can spend all your time with Herb now although he isn't likely to be much use in the sex department for a while. I stopped off to give him the good news and I'm afraid I got a little carried away when I was kicking him in the balls. Nine times might have been a bit excessive."

I looked down at my shoes and said, "Messed up my shine too. Hey! Maybe you can run over to his place and try to kiss things and make them better. Maybe you can do that while I pack."

I left her standing in the living room as I headed for the basement to get suitcases.

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She held my hands on her huge belly and I felt him kick. We knew it was a him because we had an ultrasound done.

"Your hands on my tummy are making me horny."

"Everything makes you horny."

"Yes, and you seem to think that it is a good thing. You certainly take advantage of the condition often enough."

"You are right and I think I'll do it again" I said as I stood up and undressed. She giggled and got on her hands and knees. Doggie was the only way we could do it with her being in the condition she was in. Not that I minded. There was something that was just so terribly erotic in the way she looked with her belly and milk filled tits hanging down. Nasty old man me had even taken a video of us making love in the position and watching the belly and tits sway were a major, major turn on.

I slid slowly into her and then made slow love to her while she moaned. She had an orgasm and then I had mine.

"Thank you lover; I needed that" she murmured as she laid down on her right side and I moved in behind her and spooned up against her.

In the morning as Dawn -- yes, Dawn -- fixed breakfast and got the kids ready for school I watched her bustle around the kitchen and thought about how I had ended up where I was.

It had started on a Thursday at a TGI Friday's in Colorado Springs. I was visiting a customer and he offered to take me to lunch. It was one week after the "commitment fuck" and three days after I had dropped the divorce papers on Mary Alice. Marv and I were sitting at a window table when I saw a familiar looking pick up truck pull into the parking lot of the Days Inn just across the street. The driver had his cell phone in his ear and I saw him drive by the office and pull up and park next to a familiar looking Lexus. Marv asked me what had my attention and without taking my eyes off of the two vehicles I said:

"I'm not sure Marv, but I think my wedding plans are about to become history."

The door to the Lexus opened and Candy got out and walked to the door of the unit she was parked in front of, unlocked the door and went inside. The man got out of the pick up and followed her into the room and the door closed. I'd know that black hat anywhere. It would seem that Jeff wasn't as gay as every one thought. I didn't have to wonder why they were in Colorado Springs. Candy herself had told me that Castle Rock was still a small town and word gets around. So there I sat, looking out the window. Mary Alice was history and Candy was about to be.

I was in a bit of a funk when I got off work that evening and all I really wanted to do was go somewhere and get pissy-assed drunk, but I had my standing date with Dawn Marie. And let me say this up front. If it had been anyone but Jeff going into that motel room with Candy the wedding would still have been on. I was still married to Mary Alice and Candy was a single lady and what she did before we got married was really none of my business. I would have brought it up and we would have talked about it, but it would not have derailed anything. Besides, I could hardly be pissed at her while I was still seeing Dawn, but once I saw the black hat Candy was history.

My heart wasn't in it when I picked up Dawn, but I had gotten her to depend on me spending my Thursdays with her so it was a good bet that she, expecting me, had turned down some one else who might have called asking her for 'a date' so I showed up on time.

About half way through dinner Dawn put he fork down and asked:

"What's the matter Bobby?"

The poor girl had more than enough problems of her own and she damned sure didn't need to be listening to me whine, but I was in the dumps and the mood was right and I said:

"My life sucks!"

Then I told her about my last year with Mary Alice and what happened there. I told her about Candy and what happened there and Dawn surprised me when she said:

"I thought everyone knew that Jeff was bi-sexual. And most everyone who knows Jeff and Candy has suspected what you found out."

"How do you know this?"

"You moved here and only attended high school here your senior year so you weren't really in tune with things. I was born here and raised here Bobby and you can't hide much in a small town."

She waved the waitress over and asked for a 'doggie bag.' She saw the confused look on my face and said: