The Call Girl and the Businessman Ch. 10

Now I could not bear the burden of the past any longer. With one last gaze, I clasped the moonstone tightly; flinging it as far as I could into the sea; into the horizon which would let it disappear for good, or at least not to let me come across it again. I watched as the moonstone with its black stringed necklace swept up above me only to have the wind blow it back in a concave angle. It had not gone far; just a few metres in front of me.

The stone would not disappear from my sight; nor would it sink to the depths of the ocean either. It must have been the string which gave it its buoyancy; it must have been the cascading tides which propelled it towards me; I did not know. My mind was too distressed for any principles of physics. Enough of those standard rules; those principles of what ought to be and what should be. All I wanted to do was to rid myself of a stone. Why was the universe making it so difficult for me to lose a stone?

I walked deeper into the sea. I no longer bothered about my dress. At first I held the skirts up gently, careful that they should not get wet in the water, but now my mission to get rid of it was the only thing on my mind. I saw it floating gently; gracefully even, on the undulating waves; as if teasing me, as if beckoning me to take it back because I belonged to it, and not the other way round. As I moved closer towards it; I felt a sharp stab at the soles of my left foot, causing me to stop in my tracks. I winced; the pain was gnawing at me. I must have stepped on something; a rock perhaps. I looked down but the water was too dark for me to see anything except its shades of grey.

The waves were now at my knees; I still had one more step to make. And I got the moonstone back in my grasp. Barely looking, I threw it again, as hard as I could and as far as my arms would yield, deeper into the ocean. Again I watched in dismay as it landed no further than a few metres away, still floating daintily; the waves pushing it back towards me. I waddled, rather than walked, deeper into the ocean. It had become more difficult to move with the waves constantly hitting at my body.

I heard some background sounds, of waves mingled with the wind; of sorrow mingled with joy and something else far away at shore. My heart knew what it was; who he was. The man who possessed that voice; he who made me cry; he who made me smile.

"Lila!" He cried out.

As I turned, I saw him frantically lapping across the distance from the rocks to the willows, and the sand to the sea.

"Come back here right now!" He yelled.

His voice was transported by the wind; loud and bellowing against my ears.

But distances had mounted between us. Had he not realized it?

"The stone would not go away!" I yelled back at him.

I willed my feet further into the ocean. The pain in my foot served as a reminder of my failure to make the burden disappear.

I did not know if he heard me; for he made no reference to it. Knowing that my voice was not as powerful as his, I tried to make gestures with my hands. I touched the area below my neck and made a throwing action at him.

Then my eyes were on the stone which gleamed in front of me; only a few steps ahead. I pulled my foot forward; the pain excruciatingly ignored. I could do this, and I did. I was now waist deep in the water. I bent down, clutching at the damn stone. The moment I caught the moonstone was the moment unforgiving waves lunged me further into the sea, causing me to go underwater for a few seconds. Swallowing the saltiness of the sea, my head bobbled up from the water; shivering from the icy cold.

It was then I realised that my feet could not touch the reassuring ground anymore. I could not swim had my life depended on it. I started to panic as the waves threw me further into the horizon. In my frightened state of mind, the moonstone freed itself from me finally, and I never saw it again.

I tried to push back the waves with my arms flapping towards the coast but the waves kept me violently propelled in the opposite direction.

"Mr. Boardmann, I can't swim!" I called out to him now, weeping and yelling at the same time.

I could not see him anymore, and I wondered if something had happened to him too. Rationality crept in and I tried to paddle back with my arms swashing in the water like oars as another wave swept me underwater. I cried, gurgling out water and tears. My head barely bobbled above the water. I was in and out of the sea of grey. I could not breathe. Water in my mouth. Water in my nose and ears. So much saltiness. So much water everywhere.

This was it then. The abyss of no return. This time it was for real; for the final goodbye.

"I love you, Matthias!" I cried, in between sobs as salt water splashed into my mouth.

He should know. Thoughts crossed my mind. Did he come for me? Of course he came for me. I was his little minx. I had wanted to let go of the past; the stone now seen as a burden. But the past had swallowed me in with it.

A strong undercurrent pulled me downwards. I did not even see darkness; I saw nothingness. It gnawed at me to the bone; chilling me to the core.

Then I bobbled up again.

"I love you..." I cried again.

I could not keep afloat; my head was pulled into the water; my hands squirming about, paddling and trying to reach out to the sky. One foot was practically useless; the other kicking frantically at the currents which pulled me downwards.

As a huge wave took me underwater, my thoughts were about how much I wanted him to be well; how much I wanted him to be happy. Everywhere was nothingness; the shades of grey long ceased to exist. There was water in my eyes; causing me to see blurred shadows. There was water in my mouth; causing me to choke.

I saw and felt the clutches of the tall, dark shadow of death looming all around me. I fought for our love; my dear life came in second. I kicked the darkness with the leg which would still move; I pushed away at the murky shadow which held me. I could not scream; my primordial survival instincts kicked in with all my limbs flagging and tossing in the water.

"Lila, let me help you. Stop resisting me!"

The voice which yelled at me; it had not been death.

I was resisting the man I loved. Squinting in the nothingness, I saw then his face; hard and unyielding, the determination in his eyes; fiery and wild. My strength drained for a moment; I collapsed as our gazes locked. My eyes frightened against his fiery blaze. The grey wolf had come to me.

When the moment of realization was over, I tried to grab hold onto him with my flailing arms.

"Lila, don't move. Let me grab you. Trust me." He yelled.

His voice was now a little lower now, but the urgency of the situation was inherent in his voice.

I heaved in a deep breath as I consciously stopped all movement. In a swift manoeuvre, he grabbed my shoulders and locked my arms in between his. He tilted my head back so that my face was out of the water.

"Lila, you must calm down. Lie on me." He said.

The sea of grey came back to me; waves hitting us every few seconds.

I tried my best to obey his instructions, trying not to resist the tide. He placed my back on his chest. I felt his brute strength and force as he started swimming us back in this position. My head was above water; supported by his lean chest. My arms were entwined with his.

As he swam us back to the shore, I turned sideways to glance at him. I saw resolute determination on his face. Looking seriously straight ahead, he was the epitome of a man who would not fail; a will of steel branded in him.

It seemed that we were swimming for a few minutes before he spoke to me.

"Are you alright, Lila?" He asked, in a softer voice.

"Yes." I said.

Gently he released our intertwined arms and with his strong hands; cupping my head with both his palms as he spoke to me.

"The water is shallow enough for you to walk now." He said.

Dazed, I nodded as I looked into his eyes; still fiery and wild. He propped me onto the ground. The water level was now at my hips. I winced as my left foot touched the ground. I tried to ignore it. It was no big deal. I tried to hobble back; placing more pressure on the right foot.

He noticed; and without asking any questions, he swept me up in his arms like a child. One arm cradled me while the other went around my back. I did not protest but only pulled him closer to me with every step he took to shore. I hid my face in the warmth of his neck.

Once we had reached shore, he placed me on the sand where he looked at my left foot. There was an ugly gash at the sole and it seemed that the blood had not quite clotted. I shook when I saw the extent of my own injury. It looked worse than it felt.

He ripped his shirt off and before I could ask him what he was doing, he had my bloody wound bandaged in his white linen shirt.

"You'll require stitches for the tear. I'll have to carry you up to the boulevard." He said.

He spoke in a stern voice, and instinctively I lifted my arms so that he could cradle me again. He did not say more nor did he turn to look at me. Instead he had a very concentrated gaze where his line of sight was purely in front of him. As we made our way uphill to the boulevard, I was aware of nothing else but of him holding me in his arms.

"What in Heaven's name did you think you were doing?" He asked, in a hard voice.

He was striding straight ahead, his eyes kept to the boulevard; his grasp on me increasingly constricting my movement.

Hot tears started to fill my eyes.

"I wanted to rid myself of the moonstone necklace. It was too heavy a burden to bear. I threw it into the sea but it came back to me. I wanted it gone, as far as possible. I did not realize that I went too far out." I said, softly.

My voice was incoherent, and if he were going to get mad at me now, I would start crying uncontrollably.

"My little minx, why did you not call me along? I would have gone with you. Instead you chose to do what you do best which was to leave me all over again." He said.

His voice was still hard and although the fire in his eyes had smothered down somewhat, embers still simmered in the background.

I struggled slightly in his clasped arms.

"I didn't want to say goodbye again." I said, in a small voice.

"Then don't." He said, in a voice which was equally hard and final.

"Don't be mad at me." I said.

My voice was breaking now. I rubbed my eyes before the tears could fall.

"Look at me, Lila." He said, his voice somewhat more controlled and stifled now that he was aware of it.

I obeyed him. I turned to look at him. His breath I inhaled, his muskiness I scented.

His eyes glared at mine with a fiery spark of grey.

"Why on earth were you leaving me again?" He asked.

His voice was gruff, and he did not soften it for my sake.

"It must happen sooner or later." I said.

I rubbed my eyes with my hands again. I willed myself not to cry; at least not to let him see me cry.

"What nonsense are you talking about?" He asked.

There was an exasperated tone in his voice, which served to make me flinch involuntarily. His eyes pierced mine like the first day he saw me at the restaurant.

"It is for the best. For the future." I said.

Now the tears rammed down my cheeks like hard, pouring rain on the glass panels. My hands could no longer prevent their flow.

"So you're also playing clairvoyant now; in addition to everything you've hid from me." He growled.

It was not a question. Rather it was a blunt statement.

I did not want to look at him anymore. I hid my face at the nape of his neck while I sobbed silently.

"What about love, Lila?" He asked.

I heard his voice; cold and calculated to draw me into a duel of words.

I shifted in his tight clasp. I did not answer, but I tightened my arms around his shoulders.

"What was it about drowning and you crying out that you loved me?" He asked.

His voice was unyielding, and he sounded very grim.

My chest rose and fell with every word he said. I felt as if all air had been sucked out of me. My whole face was plastered with tears. I was not sobbing so as to be heard, but my irregular breathing gave me away.

"What about yesterday night when you whispered that you loved me?" He asked.

His question was curt; his voice threatening me for an answer. So he had understood me when we had lain together last night.

Yet it was as if I had lost my voice to the Sea Witch. I had become the weird mermaid who could not swim.

"What in God's name is going on in that strange and mysterious head of yours?" He asked.

He bellowed out his words; he raked through my hair but ever so gently he eased me forward so that I faced him again.

His piercing eyes gripped me. His hard, agitated countenance made me weep. His voice; raspy and rough, sent shudders to my heart.

"I love you so damn much, Lila. So damn much." He said.

His voice was full of a passionate rapture which would not go away. It zapped into my ears; yanking me into a delirious frenzy. But his eyes; they never wavered on mine; they pierced right into my soul. The grey wolf was resolutely making his way into the depths of my heart.

I was expecting a lecture on how foolish I was. Not expecting his sudden declaration of love, I could only gaze at him foolishly and wordlessly.

"I thought I was going to lose you all over again and I could not have lived with that." He said.

His eyes were ablaze with fire once again as he pierced into my eyes; into my soul.

My body responded quicker than my words could take flight. Tears continued to stream down my face. I was not sure if they were tears of joy or sorrow; relief or exhaustion.

I lifted my hands to touch his face. My grubby hands were all over his cheeks, his lips, and his haunting eyes.

"Do you hear me, Lila? You are the only woman I love. There is no one else but you in my life. No one else whom I would rather be than with you, my angel; my miracle. My little minx." He said.

He looked at me tenderly now; his gaze warm. He was still bellowing out at me, loud and clear. I felt his throbbing heart on my very own as he cradled me. Its beats were rapid and hard; chugging at my very own for a response. His voice was deliberately rough as if he did really want to lecture me on my foolishness.

"I love you too, Mr. Boardmann; so very much that it hurts me to leave you." I said.

Gazing into his eyes, my words came pouring out like rain. Plain and clear. No more masks; no more shrouded veils. Gazing into my eyes, he made an animalistic sound of exultation; of this strong word called joy.

"I thought I was going to drown, and I would never have had the chance to tell you how much I loved you." I said.

I touched his cheeks as if for affirmation that I was still alive and kicking. I touched him not gently but rather ungracefully with my grubby hands. I looked into his eyes and I saw a glorious light in them. How they shone like a beacon of hope in the nothingness.

"Do you know much it means to me that you can finally tell me that you love me?" He asked, clutching my hands so that he could squeeze them with his regular brute force.

I shook my head.

"You put me through so much agony, my little minx. Until last night, you told me you loved me in your own ingenuous way." He said.

He had understood me. I blushed hard until I thought all blood must have gone to my face because I felt very hot despite the freezing temperature.

"Mr. Boardmann, why let me get away with it?" I asked.

"You seemed intent on keeping it a secret. I thought eventually you would tell me but then I read your note, and I realized that you had no intention of coming back to me." He said.

His voice was now a little forlorn when he recalled the sequence of events leading to this moment.

"How could I when Clara was the one you gave the moonstone ring to? The woman whom I had thought you loved. I was only second best." I said.

"I never gave her the moonstone ring. And Lila, you are never second best. You are the most important thing in my life." He said firmly.

I blushed. I had now been reduced to a thing, but in a good way.

"But Gerald and I saw you showing the ring to her and we could see that she was delighted." I said, confused.

"She thought that it was for her, but I had merely shown it to her; to tell her that it was all over between us and that you were the one whom I desperately wanted to give the ring to." He said.

A soft gasp escaped my lips as I looked into his eyes; and I saw him take out the jewellery box from his trousers pocket. It was a miracle that it was still lodged inside despite him coming out to my rescue at sea.

"The day we bought the rings together, I took the ring back to have your name engraved on it, Lila." He said.

He fished out the moonstone ring from its narrow slit and handed it over to me.

In the inner shank of the ring, I saw the engraving.

"Lila; my angel; my miracle."

I was deeply moved.

I gazed at him lovingly as tears of joy streamed down my face. I made no attempt to wipe away my tears now. Neither did he.

Ever so tenderly, he took back the ring from me, only to slip it into my finger as our gazes locked. When I looked down at the moonstone ring on my hands, I felt as though I belonged to him, and I cherished this feeling.

"Can I take this as my proposal to you?" He asked.

His voice was low and husky now; his eyes filled with desire.

"You mean..." I said, but felt it too obvious to continue.

"I'm an impatient man, Lila. Will you marry me?" He asked.

His voice was now a little unsteady and there was a slight change in his gait as he stood cradling me. He could not go down on bended knee any more than I could stand straight. Yet his grasp on my body was hard and unyielding. He was like a solid wall that I was leaning against. He was my backbone, and I was the limpet which clung to him for my dear life.

His eyes burned with trepidation; his heart beat ninety to the dozen. His eyes bore the will of steel to have me as his. The determination etched on his countenance was crystal clear as dawn, now awakening earth with her subtle light.

"Mr. Boardmann, I will marry you." I said.

My eyes fluttered to his shyly but happily. This was joy; pure joy.

"My little minx. Call me Matthias, please." He said.

His voice was commanding and dangerously seductive. His eyes were glinting with embers of love.

"Matthias, I will marry you." I said.

From beneath my fluttering eyelashes, I willed myself to gaze towards him. Gazing downwards, he saw me then, for all that I was; all that I am, and all that I was going to be.

"Thank God you're not being difficult." He said.

He had to smile though, and he did smile the purest and most natural smile I had ever seen. Abruptly he crushed his lips against mine and I scented his musky saturation mingled with the saltiness of the sea. He pried my lips apart, feeling me thoroughly. I did not resist; I gave him full access to the body which bound me; and to the senses which let me feel him in all his entirety the way God had made him.

"I'm not that difficult to handle, you know." I said.

I was breathless after our kiss. So was he, I could tell.

"You speak now as if you were my property. I am very possessive. You have been forewarned." He said, lightly planting a soft kiss on my forehead.

He gazed at me tenderly, his eyes dark with desire.

"I do want to be yours; the same way I want you to be mine." I answered, with a rapture only inspired by passion.

I spoke from my heart. The spirit within was released into the world; it was free to roam.

"My dear Lila. I am always yours." He said huskily.

Time stood still as we gazed at each other. He kissed me again; on my eyelids when I gazed down shyly; on my cheeks when I turned towards him; on my nose when I wiggled in playfulness.