The End of Greg & Carol

Once again, the story I am about to tell is not mine. It was told to me by the victim. I merely set pen to paper and added structure and punctuation to words that were torn from his soul. I am the omnipotent narrator, not the judge of morality. The victim swears the story is true. I will leave that to the reader to decide. All names and places have been changed.

Constructive criticism is always welcome. Ad hominem attacks will, of course, be deleted.

If you enjoy this missive I encourage you to read my earlier works. Thank you.

*****

In the history of the world nothing good has ever followed the words, "we need to talk" particularly when they are proceeded by the spouses unabridged given name. When Greg became Gregory I knew the last chapter had begun to unfold.

The private eye I hired-he looked like a 1950's gumshoe who had escaped from a black & white detective movie-had bugged the hotel room my wife Carol shared with her boss, John Hoffmann, the recently promoted executive vice president of sales at Home First Enterprises, the friendly alternative to the big boxes. The pictures showed Mr. Hoffman being friendly with my wife in at least four positions.

From that moment on I spent every waking moment plotting my vengeance. The most important thing was to act normal until I was ready to unleash a full measure of hell fire upon the fornicating miscreants.

The next week went by excruciatingly slow. Carol was very guarded about her work day, which had, until then, been a major topic of our evening conversations. Each day she became a little more withdrawn. But I never let up, "Did anything interesting happen today?" "So who did you go to lunch with?" And, my favorite, "So how's your new boss doing?"

Carol would stammer a vague response and change the subject. Our evenings became very quiet.

My PI had followed them enough to learn all of their assignations took place during long lunches on Fridays. Hoffmann would leave for a customer call at a quarter to eleven and Carol would duck out ten minutes later. Her excuse was she had a chiropractors appointment. They would rendezvous at a business suites motel out on the interstate.

We had enough evidence to hang the pair in divorce court. The papers were all in order, the cannons loaded, and the war horses were chomping at their bits. It was time to force their hands.

I showed up at Home First Enterprises five minutes after Carol left. I walked in and asked Maria, the receptionist, to let my wife know her hubby was here to take her to lunch.

"I'm sorry Mr. Eaton but your wife left a few minutes ago to see her doctor."

"Doctor?"

"She has an appointment every Friday at 11:30. She skips lunch a couple of days a week and takes a long lunch every Friday."

"Thank you. I must have forgotten."

The day before I purchased a prepaid phone so I could call her on a strange number; it was the last week of the quarter and Carol would have to answer so she didn't miss a sale that could put her in bonus.

"Good afternoon, Carol Eaton speaking." Her voice sounded sweet, almost musical; like a salesman should.

"Is everything alright?" I could barely get the words out.

"What are you talking about?"

"I tried to surprise you by popping in and taking you to lunch. The receptionist said you had a doctor's appointment every Friday. Are you alright?" I tried my best to sound concerned.

"I'm fine. It was nothing... a routine adjustment at the chiropractor." I knew by the tone her jaw was clenched. She was not happy and I hoped that would carry over into the adulterer's bed.

"That's strange because I ran into Doctor Wilczak a couple of hours ago. He said he hasn't seen you in over a year and asked if you were cheating on him. When did you change chiropractors?' No response. "Could you at least tell who our new bone crusher is."

"I really don't have time for this nonsense right now. We'll talk when I get home tonight." She hung up.

On a typical Friday night we ordered pizza, and so it was tonight. I was paying the delivery boy when Carol pulled her jet black BMW into the garage.

"Perfect timing." I announced.

"I don't feel very well. I'm going to lie down for a while." Carol muttered then rushed up the stairs. The next sound was the bathroom door slamming. She was still awake three hours later when I joined her in bed. I pushed it one last time, "Why are you being so secretive about seeing the doctor? Is there something you're not telling me?" I was relentless. "Carol, I'm sick worrying about you. Please, tell me what you're hiding."

"Stop nagging me. I told you, there's nothing wrong.. It's been a long day and I'm exhausted. We'll talk tomorrow."

I had a hard time falling asleep because I could hear Carol crying into her pillow. I don't think she slept for more than a few minutes at a time. I couldn't help but wonder how well Oedipus slept the night before he murdered his father.

Saturday Carol was the bitch from hell from the moment she woke up. If we had a dog she would have kicked it. We never did have the promised doctor conversation. Whenever I tried to initiate it Carol ducked the subject. She managed to avoid me for most of the day but I finally caught up with her after lunch. I pretended nothing was amiss and said we had 6 PM reservations at Antoniccis, her favorite restaurant. "Maybe that will help you out of the funk that seems to have stolen your smile." Her response was a blank gaze and a shrug.

At five I found Carol sitting on our bed staring at the wall. "I bought you a surprise." I handed her a box from Niemen Marcus. She didn't open it. I felt awkward standing there staring. "I hope you'll wear it tonight."

When she came downstairs I complimented her on how beautiful she looked in the new dress. "I was going to save these for a special occasion but it looks like you need them now." I handed Carol a gift wrapped box.

Carol tore the paper off and opened the jewelry box and began sobbing. "They'll look great on your new dress." And the string of pearls did.

Dinner was a study in silence. She was so softly spoken the waitress had a difficult time understanding her order. Even three vodka gimlets didn't loosen her tongue. Most of her dinner went home in a doggy bag.

When I pulled in the garage she didn't wait for me to open her car door. She was out of her seat before I had unbuckled. She paused, turned her head, and said, "Thank you." Her first words in over two hours. I watched her walk up the stairs and lock herself in the master bath. I tippy toed up and listened to the door. As I expected she was talking to Hoffman, no doubt seeking his reassurance they would soon be together.

I retired to my den to await fate. I took a small bottle out of my suit coat's pocket and dry swallowed a hand full of tranquilizers. I had been taking those little pills like candy ever since I learned of my wife's infidelity. They were the only thing that kept me from losing it.

I could see Carol in the family room mixing another drink. I watched as she emptied the glass. She was still wearing the little black dress I surprised her with earlier in the evening. I looked up and smiled. Damn she looked good, I thought. When she caught me she turned away.

Even though I knew "the" conversation was coming it still grabbed me like a heart attack.

I was pretending to read a book when she finally walked in. Carol stood in silence for a good two minutes before making small talk, "Gregory, is that a good book?" When I heard my full Christian name and saw she was looking down at her feet and not at me I the end of my marriage was nigh at hand.

I had been rehearsing for this moment for almost two weeks. I prayed I would be able to stay on script.

I placed a bookmark between the pages, closed it, and said, "Not as good as our marriage. So what's on the mind of the woman who I love more every day? Are you finally going to tell me what is vexing your soul?"

I could see tears welling up in her eyes. "What's wrong my beloved?" I feigned concern. "I am so worried about you." I took her hands in mine.

By now she was sobbing.

"Did the doctor give you bad news?"

"No!" her response was a lot louder than the room deserved..

"Is it your mom? Is she okay?"

She shook her head in the negative.

"Your dad...is he..." My words trailed off.

She again shook her head. "I'm fine! Everyone's fine! No, this is something different."

"Oh." I got up and pulled the matching chair out from under the octagon shaped chess table and bade my wife to have a seat. As soon as she sat down I said, "I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" She looked puzzled.

"I'll only be a couple of minutes. I have to get something from upstairs," I retrieved my attaché case and laptop from the safe in my study. Carol was sitting at the table with her hands folded in her lap when I returned. Her eyes were red and puffy. Without saying a word I placed my bag on the floor next to my chair then swept the pieces off the chess board. They made quite the racket bouncing off the hardwood floor. Carol had a confused look on her face as she watched. Then I sat down facing her, opened my computer, and began typing.

"What are you doing?"

I held up a finger to my lips and went, "Shhhhhh. Almost there."

The soft click of the keys and her labored breathing were the only sounds in the room. After a couple of minutes I closed my laptop and announced, "All done. So my loving wife, what is weighing so heavily on your mind?"

"It's very difficult for me to begin." She began crying harder I handed her my handkerchief. She finally managed to squeak out "I..I..I don't want to hurt you. You've been the perfect husband."

I didn't say a word.

"I...you are...Gregory you know I love you."

"And I love you." I took her hands in mine and squeezed them.

"That's what is making this so hard."

"Telling me you love me?"

"No, that's easy...Gregory I love you but I'm no longer in love with you. There I've said it." Carol buried her face in her hand and mumbled. "I don't know how it happened."

It almost killed me but I held my tongue. I stared as she hung her head in shame.

Carol finally broke the silence. "We've been together since freshman year of high school. It's always been Greg and Carol. I need some time to be me...not a half of us."

"So you're no longer in love with me because our friends look at us and see what I thought was a happily married couple?"

"No, you're confusing what I said.

"You said you're no longer in love with me. You're going to have to do a who hell of a lot better at explaining what you're talking about."

"You can't understand. You're the successful businessman and I'm suffocating in your shadow."

"You have a very good job."

"This has nothing to do about my job!" Carol looked like a pouting child.

I waited at least a minute before I asked, "Have you found a marriage counselor for us to see?'

"Uh, that's not exactly what I was thinking."

"That leaves divorce."

"No, Greg you're looking at it all wrong. I want this for us...to make us a better couple."

"Then pray tell what exactly are you thinking?"

Carol's voice became very meek, "I was thinking we could try a trial separation."

"A trial separation!" My voice filled the room.

Carol pushed back in her chair. "Wait, let me explain."

I clenched my fists. "Please do."

"Well Amy from work and her husband were having a similar problem..."

I interrupted, "What problem is that exactly?"

"I told you...she lost her identity."

"Isn't that the idea of marriage? Two become one."

"Gregory..."

"And how long would this little experiment of yours last?"

"Well Amy said after a couple of months they tried dating again and they're thinking about getting back together.

"Dating. While you're on this leave of absence do you intend to date...or have you already found someone?"

"No! I told you I love you. I'm not looking to replace you. I just need some time alone to be myself."

"That didn't answer my question. And where do you propose to live after you move out?"

A long silence followed. "I was hoping you would get an apartment; somewhere close. It's a lot safer for a man on his own then a woman."

I laughed. "That's never going to happen, not now or ever."

"Please Gregory, Don't be so unreasonable. I'm trying to make our marriage stronger."

I roared, "Stronger by walking out on your commitment. Stronger by abandoning your promises for richer and poorer...in sickness and in health... Stop me when any of this sounds familiar."

"Oh Gregory, you're looking at it all wrong. We'll be back together, I promise."

"We already know what your promises are worth."

"Oh Gregory please don't say that..." Her voice tailed off.

"Once again, what exactly happened to make you so unhappy with our marriage?"

"It wasn't one big thing...just a lot of little things. Like going to the country club and having the valet refer to me as Mrs. Eaton."

"You're upset because a minimum wage car hiker at the country club you just had to join has proper manors!"

"No, it's more than that...it's a hundred little things I can't recall." She paused waiting for a response which I never gave.

"Oh Gregory, I can't tell you why it happened, it just did."

Neither of us said a word for the longest time. I finally interrupted the quiet by unsnapping the two clasps on my briefcase. I removed two legal sized file folders and placed them on the table. Then I opened my laptop and called up a photograph.

"Is this why it happened?"

I turned the screen so Carol could see a picture of her walking hand-in-hand with her paramour into a business suites hotel. The next picture was of my unfaithful wife violating our wedding vows. Every thirty seconds a new picture appeared. Her face lost all color and she fainted dead away; her body slouched in the chair. I waited a few minutes then brought Carol a glass of ice water and helped her take a sip. She looked confused and terrified as each new photograph appeared...she had the bastard's cock in her mouth.

She turned away. Her voice trembled. "How long have you known?"

"Do you mean how long have I known the woman who swore before God and man to forsake all others had betrayed me? Long enough to have this prepared." I slid a copy of the Dissolution of Marriage document in front of her. Carol was speechless. "You cheated. Our marriage is over. Sign this so I can get on with my life."

She clutched the file as though trying to strangle it. I could see her lips moving as she read the complaint which specified adultery as the reason. Two dozen color photographs were attached as evidence labeled Exhibit B.. When Carol got to them she screamed, "Oh God no!" She began pounding on the table with both fists while wailing something unintelligible .

I took no pleasure as I watched the only woman I ever loved realize she had torn asunder Greg and Carol forever. As the finality of our marriage's death engulfed her she seemed to grow smaller and colorless. I couldn't help but wonder if she had actually been stupid enough to think I would have ever accepted her bizarre separation.

As each new picture scrolled by her wailing reached a fever pitch. I looked on in disgust.

I was glad I had swallowed damn near an overdose quantity of tranquilizers to steel my soul for this moment or I might have wavered in my resolve. To be honest I would rather have died than suffer this; unfortunately the prescription bottle was empty.

Carol's slipped down to the floor; her hands reached for my right ankle. I could make out one word, "Please." I fought my soul's demand that I crush her fingers under my heel. Instead I pushed my chair back out of her reach.

Even though I knew how the story would end I too was in a state of shock. So I closed my eyes and tried to pretend this was a horrible nightmare I had to find my way out of. But when I opened them I was still in hell and the demon continued to taunt me by drawing breaths into her heartless chest.

The front door bell rang dragging me back to reality. I turned and muttered, "I'll be right back." Two men carrying boxes walked into the foyer. We had a brief discussion then they set off for the master bedroom's overflowing walk-in closet. It cost a small fortune to have two movers on stand-by to pack up all of my wife's clothes and personal property but it was worth every penny.

Carol lifted her head and managed to squeak out, "Who are they?"

"If you'll refer to Exhibit A, our pre-nup stays if you are unfaithful you lose everything. That includes this house. So to answer your question they're from Reliable Moving and Storage. They are packing up all of your stuff. I rented a mini warehouse by where you work and paid for the first and last month's rent. You'll be out of here tonight.

Carol began wailing, "I can't believe this is happening.". She curled up into a ball sobbing lamentations.

"What exactly did you expect would happen when you fucked your boss?"

"Oh Greg I thought, I mean I didn't...I mean...can I at least explain?"

"It doesn't matter. You're a liar and a cheat. Now there's a couple of things you should know. The lease for your BMW is in the business' name. I've retrieved the keys from your purse because they'll be picking it up in the morning. You'll also find all of your credit cards have been cancelled...your cell phone will be shut off first thing in the morning. Also, your name has been removed from all of our checking and savings accounts."

"And you'll never have to worry about anyone at the country club treating you with respect ever again."

My cell phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and answered. "Is it done?" I moment later I said, "Thank you. I'll look forward to your report."

"I thought you might like to know your boyfriend's eight month pregnant wife threw him out when my PI gave her copies of these pictures." I turned the monitor so she could see the next debauchery.

"I told you he was a player the first time I met him. You said I was being silly...silly, that word is burned into my soul. Two weeks later he was fucking you. Two weeks. You lasted a whole two weeks before you..." There was no need to finish my sentence.

"I have on good authority his wife swore she would divorce him if he cheated again. Oh, did he forget to mention you're the third bimbo she's caught him with, so he's all yours. I guess you won't have to worry about the dangers of living alone. I wish you a happy life together...until he cheats on you too."

Carol's cell phone rang. "Let me guess...lover boy calling to tell you the good news. He's all yours." I took the phone off the coffee table and smashed it on the floor. It stopped ringing.

Carol's face was contorted into a grotesque mask...I could see the terror in her eyes.

"You really thought this one through, didn't you? Well guess what. I've done a lot of critical thinking. Tomorrow morning my lawyer will be paying a visit to your employer. We've studied your employee handbook and you should count on being fired-your boyfriend too-for moral turpitude . I wonder if they pay unemployment compensation claims for stupid whores?"

"And that's just the beginning..."

The doorbell rang again. "I'll be right back."

Carol was frozen in place. Her mouth was sloppy, making strange sounds which weren't quite words.

I returned followed by an elderly man in a gray suit. "This is Mr. Jackson. Mr. Jackson is a Notary Public here to notarize your signature on the divorce papers. We'll have the movers witness it."

She finally managed to ask the obvious, "What happens if I refuse to sign?"

"Then I hit the send key and everyone you know, family, friends, co-workers, everyone at church, the women at the club, anyone I could find who ever knew you will receive an e-mail overflowing with scores of pictures documenting your adultery. There's even a couple of short videos."