The Procession

"We will."

I told Lisa. She thought my predicament was hilarious. Jane's advice was good, as usual. Lisa was in a good mood for the rest of the day. I finally got out of that corset just before we went to bed.

***** The End (Oh no it isn't! Read on ..)

This is Lisa. I've found and read Thomas's account of the procession. As I expected he'd got a lot wrong. So here's my version:

Thomas had been complaining about the work I was doing for the procession for weeks. He wouldn't let the subject go. We had argued many times before the final one the night before the event.

He actually liked the suit I'd made for him. He admits that it fitted well.

However about two weeks earlier while he was preening himself in that suit he said:

"This is great but no one will see it. No one will look at me because they will be looking at the Vixens in their crinolines. You will show off like the posers you are. We men will be there just as a background. You get all the fun."

He said the same thing so many times before that I asked:

"Would you rather be one of us in a crinoline?"

"Of course" he retorted "You will enjoy yourselves"

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

As usual when he's full of himself he wasn't listening to what I was saying.

"Yes. You have the great costumes with large skirts to make you look more impressive than you really are. We will just disappear in our suits by contrast."

"OK." I said "Don't you think there might be disadvantages? We have to take small steps to avoid swinging the crinoline. We have to wear tight corsets to get the shape right. We have to wear gloves, fancy hats and bonnets that ruin our hair. The dresses weigh a lot. Would you cope with all that?"

"Minor matters!" he actually snorted "I could cope with them easily to be the centre of attention."

I left it at that. He wanted to wear a woman's costume in the procession so I'd make sure he would. Frances had told me that she couldn't be there. She had to be in London all that weekend. So I had a spare dress that was just the right size for Thomas. How convenient!

I wasn't wholly sure that I wanted to humiliate him that much but he went on and on. He said enough to try the patience of a saint and I'm no saint!

I discussed what I intended to do with Jane and Candice. He'd annoyed them as well going on about what a good time the Vixens would have. We didn't mind taking part for the good of the town. We'd do our best to enjoy the event but it wasn't something we really wanted to do. If we had to - then we'd do it properly. We got more irritated with Thomas as the days went by. We had so much work to do on the costumes and had no help from the Glossies - of course not! Sorry. One Glossie did help. Harold. He offered to fetch and carry and be a general assistant. But he did it so unobtrusively that we nearly forgot he was there. Typical of Harold! None of the others helped and Thomas was just a pain in the ****!

Jane and Candice agreed that we should let Thomas have his wish. He said it often enough. Both of them heard him say "If I'm going to take part I'd rather wear a crinoline than a Victorian Gentleman's dark suit."

Candice modified our original idea. We were going to dress him up and use make-up to disguise him. She pointed out that no one would believe that his face was female and both the Glossies and Vixens knew Thomas too well to be deceived. She suggested the veil. We tried versions on each other until we reached the right density of veil to conceal the face yet allow reasonable vision from inside.

The gag? That was Jane's idea on the day. He'd been so rude to both of us that morning that she wanted him shut up. The things he said about the corset as we fitted it on him just made her madder. Not only did she gag him, but she hauled that corset tighter and tighter before she knotted it. No wonder Candice couldn't get it off.

The tight slip was to make sure Thomas walked correctly. I asked him to wear his black trainers because we'd made the slip to fit them. With the hem secured to his trainers he could only take a very small stride. The gloves and muff were added to his costume during the last few days - he was getting impossible to live with. We were working hard spending all our free time making costumes and Thomas kept insisting that it was all enjoyable. It ****** well wasn't!

By the night before I felt like dressing him up and fixing him in the town's stocks. Most of the Vixens would have welcomed the chance to pelt him with rotten eggs! Candice talked me out of it. She can persuade almost anyone to be reasonable - even me!

The other two Vixens were brought in to the plot just in case Thomas struggled too much. I, or Jane and Candice together could overpower Thomas but dressing him would have been difficult. With five of us he had to accept that he wasn't going to win. Still it was Jane, not me, who did the most to him. She gagged him. She fitted the slip to him. She knotted the corset on him.

Did Thomas learn from his part in the procession? Yes - for a while. We did keep his secret. We'd said we would so we did despite his snide remark at the end of his version. I've threatened to tell when he's being difficult but he knows I won't. We keep our promises.

Thomas should not have asked to wear a crinoline so often and in front of so many of the Vixens, should he? We only did what he asked. Maybe he should be more careful about expressing his desires. I might make them come embarrassingly true - just like this one.

The End (at last!)