"The Stain"

Angela turned around, "Chase! What happened? I thought I saw you, but when I turned around you were gone. Why'd you leave?"

I reached the door, damn woman couldn't open a jar of mayonnaise without...hey wait! No! Mayonnaise. Mayonnaise? Mayonnaise! Oh shit! Maybe? No. Bullshit. I growled at her, "Listen we have to talk."

Angela replied, "I'll say," she stepped back, "you go first."

She didn't mean talk, she meant to go in the house. I walked inside, turned around and took the baby and said, "All right what's going on?"

"Going on with what?"

"Come on. I'm not stupid. I saw your blouse. I saw how one of the secretaries covered up for you. You were out with that asshole Philip weren't you? You been out with him a lot lately. Come on. Out with it!"

Angela responded first with a confused look, then, "Out with what?"

"You know! I saw the God damn blouse. What're you two doing when you go out on your trips to the courthouse or to get wills signed? Come on come clean."

Angela started to reply, "I..., and then she changed direction, "wait a minute. Wait a God damn minute. You think..."

I interrupted, "I don't think. I know! Now spit it out. Come on. Spit it out!"

I was holding our baby, she had her hands on her hips. She looked really cute like that, "What's wrong with you Chase? What's gotten into you?"

Well I told her, "Look I saw the fucking semen on your blouse. Where'd you get it? You let that fucking Lothario masturbate on your face and blouse?"

"What? Chase? Now hold on. Just hold on."

"When'd it start Angela, two, three months ago? I get it. Oh do I get it, he's got..."

She interrupted me, "He's got what; I'll tell you what he's got, he's got mo..."

I stopped her, "Money! Yeah, he's got money. It's about the money. Sorry Angela you knew when we started dating I'd never be rich. That's it; it's the money."

"No you asshole, he gets more work than the others; he's in line to be a partner, she paused, then, "Chase you've got it all wrong. It's not like that. Gosh you're such a hard..."

I shut that bullshit down, "Oh I know now. I'm the hard worker. I'm too busy. You got lonely; old husband always working, too busy for his sad and lonely wife. Good old Philip; he's got the time and the cash. He can..."

She stopped me again. Will I ever get in a word? She said, "Hard head Chase. You're a hard head, but yes you're a hard worker. Chase listen to yourself. Now listen to..."

I held up a hand, "Oh sure. I never pay any attention. I never listen. I'm supposed to be a better listener. But he listens! He's so sympathetic, the wonderful empathetic Philip, he understands! Yeah, this is when you tell me I never take you seriously. I never hear you. Well that's not true. I listen. I listen all the time. You..."

"Jesus Chase,' she'd blocked me again, "you're so foolish. How can you think? Why when we make..."

I dropped her cold, "Make love! It's sex! I knew it. He's got a bigger dick. He's a more considerate lover. He does things to you I could never..."

She pushed me against the door. Was I ever going to get to finish a sentence? She said, "I was going to say when we 'make plans' you're always so eager with your hair brained ideas," she hesitated, "Oh never mind that. Now you listen to me Chase Fitzgerald. It's none of those things. You don't get it. I never..."

Aha! At last I had her, "Oh sure, look it wasn't my fault you were a virgin that first time. Oh yeah, so now you're saying I never gave you a chance to fool around. Go out with other men. You never got a chance to try..."

She stopped me! She kneed me right in the balls. She put her knee in my fucking nuts! Before I could react she'd flipped me on the floor. I'd completely forgotten I'd made her take Karate lessons. She's so small you know. She had me on my back. Her crotch was in my fucking face, smelled good. She was damp. God my balls hurt! She leaned down and starting kissing me. I hated her! She has such soft, sweet, warm lips. This wasn't fair!

Between kisses she said, "Now you listen you big stupid lug. I figure I've only got about three minutes before Kierra starts yelling. Kierra's our baby, well toddler. She had her legs on my shoulders. She took her right hand and pinched my nose, "You listening?"

I nodded. I'd listen, then I'd get up, go pack a bag, and get the hell out. I warned her once before not to use the martial arts stuff on me. It wasn't fair. OK, technically it wasn't martial arts, but it was the principle of the thing.

"OK, so now you listen!" She said, "First Philip is gay, queerer than a three dollar bill. So that should put that to rest. Now second, yes my blouse was, no is stained," she leaned around a little to show me the stain, "see it? Baby food! Gerber's Pear- Banana baby food! There was a young mother at the court house. I held her baby and fed her while mommy did her transaction. Some got on my blouse."

I could tell she was really wound up now.

She went on, "How could you Chase? I'm your wife. I love you. I've always loved you. Weren't we planning to have another? All right I understand. I put you off. But you should've known. I told you I had a vaginal infection. I told you I was raw all the time."

Shit I did remember. She told me...

"Damn it Chase I had a vaginal infection, but did I accuse you of going out, getting something, and then giving it to me? Did I? Well did I?"

I shook my head no.

"No of course I didn't. And why didn't I? I didn't because I know you love me. I know you'd never do anything to hurt me. And now you think. Oh how could you. Chase I'm..."

I used my shoulder and arm strength and lifted her up. I pulled her into my arms, "Oh Jesus honey, I..."

Kierra started to get rambunctious, "Uh, oh," said Angela.

I released my wife, "I'll get her."

As I reached out to get our daughter Angela said to me, "You owe me for this. You owe me big time."

I said, "I'll do anything."

She grinned and said, "I know you will. You will tonight. Tell me, what's momma's favorite treat?"

I asked, "Can I trim you up first?"

She laughed, "Already done. Did it this morning after the doctor cleared me yesterday."

That was right; she had said something about the doctor last night at dinner. Where was my brain?

Angela went on, "I'm as bare as Kierra," she smiled, "and Chase, no more bullshit. If I told you once, I've told you a million times, eighth grade, you've had me since the eighth grade," and with that she planted another one of her heavenly kisses on me.

The epilogue...

I guess I finally had my 'come to Jesus' moment. The woman I married has limitless energy; she's just uncontainable. Looking back I see it; when Angela sets her sights on something that's that, she gets it. Does it bother me? Not in the least.

And are we happy? Oh yeah! It's the happily ever after thing. I mean like totally!

The end

*****

Jedd Clampett

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