There and Back Again Ch. 095-096

"Thanks." I scanned the darkness, trying to sense if any more darkspawn were coming. The numbers seemed to be dwindling, and I didn't think any would be breaking through the lines again.

"My pleasure, my Lady." He grinned at me, black blood streaking his face. He appeared uninjured. "I couldn't let you stand out here defending us all alone." His expression was odd, as I turned him to face the light. I heard whispering behind me, and realised Eamon and Isolde had witnessed the exchange.

"Hold still, and keep your mouth shut for a sec." I pulled out a rag and carefully wiped the darkspawn blood away from his mouth and nose. "You're going to need a bath."

He chuckled, but I missed what he said next, turning to look out into the darkness again. I could feel sunshine, and in a moment I was rewarded with the sight of a brilliant smile on the face of my husband. He ran up and swept me into his arms, twirling me and kissing me softly.

"Thank the Maker. I saw this group break through, and I couldn't stop them. I was too hard pressed to follow right away."

"I'm fine." I kissed him again, a chaste, reassuring peck. "Let's check for survivors?"

Sending Theron back inside the pavilion – grumbling the whole way – Alistair and I weaved our way through darkspawn corpses, finding only charred victims of the fireball I hadn't been able to stop. We made it out to where the others were, slitting throats of wounded darkspawn and separating enemy from friendly corpses. Alistair and I lent a hand, dragging darkspawn into a pile to be burned, laying the soldiers out for a pyre later.

I ran into Wynne, who assured me Anders was fine – he had a new set of scars, but she'd healed him right up. He was sitting with his back to one of the wagons, Solona kneeling at his side awkwardly, not touching him, just fluttering anxiously. It was sweet, and I smiled softly. The rest of our companions were bumped and bruised but otherwise unharmed, and were helping out with sorting the bodies, Leli praying over our dead. Surviving soldiers had begun collecting wood for pyres.

It was exhausting, and when the pyres were finally lit and the darkspawn burned, we all collapsed around the fire at our camp.

"We have a problem, Duncan," I began, uncertain how to phrase my concern.

"Only the one?" Alistair teased, and I flashed him a brief half-hearted smile, before turning back to the older Warden.

"The darkspawn know about me."

"Pardon?"

"Look, that group that broke through...they were testing. Looking for me. Checking to see if they could locate me, seeing how much power I could absorb."

"What makes you say that?" To his credit, Duncan didn't brush me off or ignore my vague warning.

"They were expecting me. When I killed one of them, the others had been waiting for it, attacking the spot they figured I must have been standing in. They couldn't sense me, see me, but they knew I had to be there somewhere. And those emissaries...they were spacing out their casting. One started, and when I stole its mana, the next began. It was like they were waiting to see how much I could take." I swallowed, remembering the gut-wrenching fear when I guessed what they were up to. "Which is two, if you're curious. I had to expend some of it in shields before I could get the third.

"Duncan...they're learning."

Alistair paled, reaching out to wrap his arm around my shoulders. Duncan looked thoughtful.

"How would that help them?" Aedan looked like he felt sick. "You killed them. They learned nothing."

"The darkspawn...it is possible the Archdemon can not only direct their actions, but also see what they see." Duncan stood, pacing back and forth. "And even if not, he could be learning through failure – sending increasingly larger groups until one succeeds. Testing your strength."

I pulled my knees up, wrapping my arms around them and putting my forehead on one knee. "So what now?"

Duncan knelt in front of me, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Now nothing. We continue. But we don't leave you alone to fight the darkspawn. Someone has to remain with you." He squeezed my shoulder reassuringly. "We will be ready for them next time.

"And for right now, we need to move," Duncan stated, to a chorus of groans. "Would you like to camp among the corpses? Besides, if Sierra is right, that means they know where we are."

Reluctantly we all began packing up. Aedan and Duncan went to talk to Eamon, so we packed their tents as well. When Aedan returned, his expression indicated extreme murderous intent, thinly-veiled. Duncan just looked tired. Without a word, both men shouldered their packs and headed off, as though they didn't even care if the Arl followed.

We stopped in the early afternoon at the first decent campsite we found with a stream for getting cleaned up. Eamon's men had indeed followed, and his pavilion was set up quickly nearby. Aedan had barely spoken a word to anyone; he went to the stream to wash up, and retired to his tent early, Zev following him. I hoped Zev gave him one of those Antivan massages he was always bragging about.

I insisted Duncan go to bed early as well, and presented him with one of Anders' sleeping potions when he was done washing. He started to object, but the expression on my face must have been either much scarier, or more likely, more stubborn-looking than he was prepared to deal with, and he drank the potion with a sigh and disappeared for the rest of the night.

The rest of the Grey Wardens and I split watch, excluding Anders due to his need for rest after healing. I drew last watch with Wulf, while Alistair had one of the middle watches; we went to bed early as well.

We made love, both desperate to reassure ourselves that we were both alive and well; changing back into armour afterwards just sucked. I sighed as I cuddled into Alistair's side as well as I could with his ridiculously bulky plate, and slept.

My watch with Wulf was quiet; we chatted a little bit, but he wasn't much of a conversationalist. He asked questions about the Wardens, which I prevaricated; it was clear he'd realised I knew more about them than our other non-Warden companions. I told him I'd promised Duncan to keep Warden secrets, and that my knowledge was from the game we'd told him about. In return, I asked questions about his life as a werewolf, which he dodged. It was awkward.

At least I'd gotten used to his eyes, and no longer struggled with where to look when we spoke.

I complimented him on his poise in the face of darkspawn, and he shrugged. "Fought bears, wolves, some of them Blighted; heard enough about darkspawn to know what to expect. Wish they smelled better, though."

"Is your sense of smell more sensitive?"

He shrugged. "Than what? Seems to be, but is that because I was a werewolf, or just because of how I was made?"

I contemplated that for a minute, and then sighed. "You could die." He looked at me curiously, the firelight reflecting strangely in his eyes. "In the Joining," I clarified.

He nodded. "I gathered as much."

"So, then, why?" I really, really wanted to know.

He fidgeted for a moment uncomfortably. "I need something. To have made a choice. I'm limited by my background, by these pointed ears, by the choices of others. I can't fit in with the elves, the humans won't accept me, and the only home I can remember is gone, a crumbling ruin empty of life. I need something that is mine, not just what I got stuck with when all was said and done. Somewhere I can use my skills without being arrested."

It was depressing, but he was right. What else was there for an elven, non-Dalish, almost feral former wolf in Thedas? I sighed.

"If Duncan asks me, I'll support you Joining the Wardens."

"Thank you."

We passed the rest of the watch in silence, waking the camp shortly after first light. Wulf had slipped out into the bushes and come back with some fresh fish and a handful of rabbits; the others set to skinning them while I made the porridge. I wasn't as disgusted by the necessity of catching and cleaning animals anymore, but it was still something I didn't think I'd be able to do. Oghren teased me, calling me a Princess, offering me some dried, salted nug from his pack instead; I gagged, and Leli grabbed Schmooples and shut him in her tent, shooting the dwarf dirty looks.