Tied to Sam

'I'm worried about it being painful for you, C. I don't want that.'

'Oh, Sam.'

I stroke his back, all the way down, then up around his chest to his face, rasping over his stubble with my fingers, wanting to take his worries away.

'My mates at college said it can be alright if the guy takes his time for the girl to get used to him, you know? If they take it slowly to begin with?'

He sighs, a frown puckering his forehead. My mind flashes back to Sam as a boy – he must have been eleven or twelve – bringing Alice home the day she broke her wrist in the playground, big tears in his eyes.

'You're a big soft white boy,' but I stroke his skin to take the edge off my words.

'Mm. We'll see about that,' as he snatches me to his chest, falls backwards and rolls us until I'm trapped underneath him.

Looking up at him coiled over me on all fours like this, I feel the difference in our size more than ever before. He dips his head down to kiss the hollow of my neck; rolls back onto his knees to pick me up and slide me further up the bed like I weigh nothing at all, and resumes his exploration of my body with his mouth. It's making all the hairs I own stand up on end.

'I've obsessed over this place for years,' he starts murmuring, almost to himself, as he licks my hip bone.

'And this place,' licking my other hip bone.

I exhale; almost a giggle; starting to overload again on how good it feels to be here with Sam.

'Remember those blue trousers you had that were really low on your hips?' he raises his eyes to mine.

I nod. I'd loved them; worn them to death.

'I could not get enough of looking at you in them. How these hip bones were so exposed.'

I sigh. He's been looking at me this way for years, and I never noticed.

Huh.

He raises up to kiss me; I think he's enjoying it as much as I do now.

'I'm not a terrible kisser, then?' I ask.

'No. Pretty good, actually,' his mouth ticking upwards.

'Hm. You're not so bad, either.'

He tips his chin, which should've given me some warning, but I was unprepared for him to roll all the way down my body and kiss my knickers, right where I know I'm embarrassingly wet. He hums and the feeling is suddenly intense, my hips rising up to him. I fling my arms over my head in surrender, hands fumbling against the headboard, holding onto the vertical slats as Sam's tongue presses into me through the white lace. When he stops, I open my eyes to see what's happening and catch him staring at me.

'What?' I'm asking, loosening my grip, but he's up and over me in one fluid move, one hand lightly but deliberately holding my wrists where they are, his eyes huge. He kisses me, his mouth open and hard on mine, his hold on my wrists tightening. When he opens his eyes, I see a mixture of emotions raging in them. I hope my eyes are showing him what I'm feeling. By the time he's broken away from my mouth, we're both panting.

'You like this?' I ask, twitching my wrists in his grip.

He blinks. Nods, slowly. I swallow, surprised at how I'm feeling about that.

Then I grin, open my mouth to tease him.

'Uh-uh, we have a pact, remember?' he warns me, giving my wrists a hard squeeze.

Flexing my stomach muscles, I bring my legs up and pull him down to me.

'Fuck, Cora. I think you're the girl for me,' and he's laughing into my mouth, pushing his tongue inside me.

I arch my back, wanting to jam my body hard against his. But he's moving again, downwards, licking me, rubbing his stubble into my nipples, making me writhe and gasp. Holding onto the headboard so I don't levitate off the bed altogether. His humming – it makes me so happy hearing it. It hits me again that this sexy man is Sam. My oldest, best friend Sam – who starts easing my knickers down, gently but deliberately. I hold my breath; nervous and excited, all at the same time, torn between crossing my legs or just opening out for him.

'Cora, you're so beautiful.'

His hand slips between my thighs where I know he'll find me so slick. I fret, flexing my fingers around the headboard.

'It's ok, Cora, it's ok,' he repeats over and over as he slides his fingers over me, and into me.

I press my eyes shut, consumed by the burn building from the base of my spine. I've just got used to the idea and reality of him touching me with his hands when the sensation changes. I open my eyes to see his head between my legs, pressing his tongue to me.

'Sam,' I reach down to him and he clutches my hand, gripping it tightly, anchoring me to earth, and I let go.

It's relentless. An assault of electricity and heat that makes me want to scream. Maybe I do.

When I eventually open my eyes, Sam's kneeling back on his heels, looking at me, his hands on his cock. He leans forwards, plants his hands either side of my neck.

'Was I making a lot of noise?' I ask anxiously.

He smiles at me, shakes his head.

'No, but you were saying my name a lot.'

I grimace, but he kisses it away.

'I can taste me on you.'

He nods.

'Nice,' he says, flexing his hips down to mine, pulling at my hand.

'Show me how you touch yourself, Cora.'

I flush. Even after all that's happened between us tonight, I'm blushing about that?

'Go on. I think it'll help. If we're really going to do this.'

He kisses my neck. I move my fingers, flicking and rubbing them over myself, bumping up against him. He's put a condom on, somehow. I moan, touching him, coaxing him to slide around in my slickness, remembering that lubrication is also going to be important; almost laughing at how lazily I'd only half-listened to my girlfriends talking about this. I drop my knees to the bed, and use my hand to help him find me, surprised at the feel of it – the size of him up against me, the pressure as he pushes.

The room fills with the sounds of our breathing.

I tilt my head to look up into his face.

He grunts.

'Lift your hips up a bit, that's it.'

It's an invasion. I exhale as he goes deeper; concentrate on the pulse throbbing in his throat; my hand still between us, a measure of our progress. I try to relax around him, but it's too unfamiliar; too much of a stretch. I start to fret again. He must sense it, because he kisses my forehead, then my eyelids and down to my mouth. Quiet, gentle kisses, his eyes intent.

His hips flex again; the invasion advancing. I take my hand out from between us, where our bodies are marrying now. I turn my head away from Sam's, wanting to see what we look like together.

He raises his chest, giving us both a clearer view, and thrusts the rest of the way into me. It burns a bit. I swallow. I don't want him to think it's hurting me. I swallow again. And feel his lips touching my eyelids, my forehead, my hairline, murmuring to me. Sweet Sam.

I tip myself up to him, a tiny fraction, testing.

'Mm. Stay still for a bit, Cora,' his voice quiet and tense.

His face is full of concentration.

'Is it uncomfortable?' I ask.

'No. I mean, yes, a bit. Tight. Like nothing I've ever felt. But good.'

He clears his throat. Relaxes his body down onto mine.

I wrap my arms over his back.

'Here we are,' I say, rubbing my palms over his shoulders and down to his hips.

'Mm.'

It's a subtle shift, but we both feel it, the urge to move with each other. We begin slowly, starting to feel how we fit together; how it makes us feel. I pull my legs around his.

'Ok?'

He's looking down at me. I just press him to me with my arms and legs.

'Hold onto me,' he tells me, and pulls us both upright until he's sitting on his heels and I'm sitting on him.

'How do you do that? Haul me around like that?' I ask, adjusting to this new position, to how much deeper he seems to be inside me.

'There's nothing to you, Cora. I could lift and carry you all the way down the fourteen flights of stairs to the ground floor.'

'When did you get to be so strong?'

He just laughs at me, uses his hands to rock my hips over him. And, umm, that's a whole new feeling. He grunts when I rock myself, grips my bottom in his hands, dips his head to lick my neck. I rub my hands over the short hair at the back of his neck and am rewarded by the low noises coming out of his throat. I love being able to make him feel this good. I whisper his name into his skin. He's beginning to sweat, his hips jacking into me. I follow him, meeting the rhythm he's setting, feeling the heat and friction as he moves in and out of me.

'Hold on,' he gasps, and somehow slides us back down to the bed.

I raise my legs high over his bum, hungry for him to fill me.

'Cora.'

He shoves his arms underneath me and holds onto my shoulders, moving his hips hard and fast until we're out of breath. Then he drops the pace, pulling out almost all the way, pausing, maddening, before pushing back inside, hard and deep. I arch up.

He's humming and, when I look up at his face, smiling at my frustration.

'Tease,' I accuse him.

He doesn't reply but continues his slow, delicious torture.

'I want this to last all night, it feels so good, Cora, but I think that's probably ambitious.'

'Mmm.'

I'm distracted by a new feeling where his cock is dragging inside me. My eyes are wide. He's studying me.

'Where? Here?'

He moves, watching my reaction.

It thuds into place like a punch, deep inside. Breathtaking. Like nothing on earth. Sam's found me. Really found me. I think I'm chanting his name, gripping him so tightly, our heat soaring as we move together, Sam's strength forcing us into a new place filled with love and awe.

He's grunting into my neck with each thrust. I reach up to him, tug and pull at his hair.

'Oh fuck.'

I think he's going to lift us off the bed.

'I love you,' I gasp in his ear.

He stops, for a second; tensed and deep; a yell that feels wrenched from his gut.

'Oh Sam, oh my god, Sam.'

His need to dig so deep dragging me in its powerful wake to cramp and pull him tighter inside.

And then we're both panting and glorying in it – the exhilaration is incredible.

How long do we lie together, fighting to regain our breath, our bodies trembling and shivering?

He's heavy on me.

I tilt my head towards his. He levers his chest up a little way, props himself up on his forearms.

'I don't know how to describe how good that felt, Cora.'

'Me neither Sam.'

We smile at each other.

Looking into his face I wonder if he's feeling a bit shy, all of a sudden.'

'I think we did ok, Sam, don't you?'

'Ok?'

He laughs.

'More than ok,' and he pulls out of me, causing us both to shudder, sits up to take the condom off, tie it up and dump it on the floor.

Then rolls back to grab me under my arms, pulling me until we're both sitting up, me on his lap again.

'You like this position, me sitting on you?'

He kisses my nose.

'Maybe it's because I don't feel like I'm in danger of overwhelming you.'

'I quite liked being overwhelmed by you, as it turns out.'

He hugs me.

I catch him glancing up at the wall behind me. I think about how he must've felt, painting those words. And no wonder he's been acting a bit weird sometimes over these last few days.

'You really put yourself under pressure, didn't you, painting that?'

I feel him exhale.

'Didn't come up with much of an actual plan, though, did I?'

'For my seduction?'

There's his little wry smile.

'Yeah. That. I should've at least put clean sheets on the bed.'

'That's ok. I've always liked your smell.'

He snorts.

'You're being kind to me, Cora.'

'Isn't that what we're going to do? Be kind to each other, Sam?'

I'm smiling.

He's smiling.

'I'd like that. Very much.'

'Me too.'

We kiss. It's different this time. Better. The best yet. As if we both know where we're going now.

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