Triad Ch. 04: Falling

I cocked my head.

"Kidding," he said. "I'm more into landscapes and people, but it can be hard to break into. I've submitted my photos to some contests and magazines, but nothing yet."

"That's okay, I'm a writing hack," I said. "I write press releases and speeches for the mayor. It's technically writing, but I don't know. I think I'd rather be doing literature or something classy like that."

"You should. Are you working on anything now?"

"Actually yes," I nodded. "I'm working on a romance. Nothing too long, just playing around."

"Ooohh, romance. Sounds spicy. Can I read it?"

"No," I said, thinking of the NC-17 scene I was working on at the café with Milo.

He looked down at the table.

"Can I see some of your photography?"

"Not anymore," he said, but immediately smiled at me. "Sure."

The food was good and I let Ben pay. We decided to walk along the pier that ventured out onto the water just next to the café. It was long with an old crane attached to the far end.

"So how's the dating scene in Santa Barbara?"

"You're asking me?"

"No," he said. "I'm actually looking for a hunk myself."

I laughed at him.

"Don't judge," he scoffed.

"Sorry, any eligible hunks I send to my friend, Emma."

"Hm, Emma. What's she like?"

"I thought you were into guys?"

"I swing both ways. But I'm totally kidding."

"About what?"

"Everything. I'm bad at being serious when I'm nervous."

"Why would you be nervous?"

He shrugged. We caught eyes for a moment until he looked away first.

"Sharks," he said. "This pier could probably collapse at any moment. I don't think there are any regulations on these old, fishing piers."

"Stop it!" I said.

"Are you seeing anyone?" he asked.

"Kind of," I said.

"What does that mean?"

"It means," I'm fucking a married couple. "It means, it's complicated."

"Well that's no fun."

Actually the opposite, "It's nice. What about you?"

He shrugged. "I dated in college, but lately I've been just spending time on work and trying to get my photography career started. I'm already 26."

"So old," I said.

He nudged me with his shoulder. "And how old are you?"

"24."

"Right behind me, little girl."

My heart raced. No one's called me that since Milo, messaging me to touch myself in the restroom. "I will always be younger than you," I said.

"Fair, but that means I will always be wiser than you."

He was cute. Even though he was older than me, he felt younger in some ways. It was nearly perfect. It was too easy to settle into a routine with Ben. I would pass him in the morning or after work. I'd see him swimming, and sometimes I'd join him, lay by the pool. He'd splash me sometimes.

We started doing all sorts of random things together, grocery shopping, running errands, going on walks. He'd stop by my door on his way into town and ask me if I wanted to go get coffee with him on Sundays. If I was trying a cafe, I'd message him and he'd usually say yes.

**

They next neighborhood Milo sent me to was different than the others. It was more modest, but still beautiful. Flower bushes blooming everywhere in the Spring sunshine. It was literally always sunny here.

I saw family photos of them on the wall. "This is your house?" I asked.

"Yes, it is," Julia said.

"I thought you never invited people over here."

"Rarely," she said. "But we couldn't find a friend with an open house this weekend and we like you. We trust you."

"Thank you," I said.

It was like I was seeing her for the first time. Since Milo told me their story, I couldn't help but think about this side of her. This side that had been betrayed by a past love, but instead of running, she ran toward the source of her betrayal, that dormant lust for something outside one's marriage. She embraced it. Now she did have a husband that loved her, worked with her, understood her.

I walked up to her, took her face in my hands and kissed her, hoping that kiss could take away any doubt, that I could ever come between the two of them.

This visit was not like the others. There was chatting and snacking and stalling. We were quick in our carnal pursuit, impatient for relief. Within minutes I was in between Julia's thighs with a singular purpose.

I wanted to make her cum.

I tried to imitate the way I masturbated in hopes it could work for her, too. I licked my middle finger and guided it into her, palm up. I pressed up against the soft pad at the roof of her channel, slow and firm at first, while I licked and bit and sucked on her clit.

She moaned.

I put a second finger inside her, pressing a little harder and faster now.

She got louder, "That feels so good, Allie."

God I wanted to make her cum. I wanted to make her cum so bad, watch her back arch and listen to her cry out, losing all sense and control because I knew exactly how to play her body.

I leveraged myself on my knees, placed one arm across her abdomen, latched onto her clit with my teeth and pressed my tongue hard against it, and started pumping my fingers up against her G-spot as hard and as fast as I could.

She started groaning.

My arm was getting tired, but I wanted that climax. I needed it.

I moved my free hand down to her clit, releasing my mouth, and started to rub her clit while my fingers worked her into a frenzy. Milo latched onto her breast and sucked hard.

She went silent, her body contorting suddenly. I looked up at her face and her head was through back, mouth hanging open in a silent scream as her climax ripped through her. Her fingers pulled so hard on Milo's hair he had to let her pull him away from her breast and watched her as she fell apart beneath him.

I slowed my pumping, but I didn't stop through her orgasm.

Finally, her breath shuddered from her and she moaned, "Baby, baby..." breathless.

Milo touched my arm and I pulled my fingers from her pussy. I leaned back down between her thighs and started lapping at the fresh cum oozing from her cleft. I had made that, I made this woman scream and arch and twist and lose all sense of self if only for a few moments. I felt like a queen.

Milo reached over and took my hand that had been inside his wife's pussy, he started to suck on my fingers, cleaning them of her juices. I was close to cumming myself.

And then he moved behind me, laying himself out behind my ass and he licked me from bottom to top, then back down to linger on my trigger nub.

I buried my mouth into Julia while I screamed my first orgasm. It made my thighs shudder and I held down harder onto her abdomen to stay steady.

He ate me out, lapping his tongue around and inside my pussy, sucking my clit into his mouth and nibbling, finally finding my tight little asshole with his tongue, licking and pressing his tongue into my puckered flesh.

His mouth was gone for a moment, but then in its place, I felt his hands on my hips, lifting me slightly, and his lap against my cheeks. I knew exactly what he was going to do and my heart leap in excitement. I adjusted on my knees and lifted my ass high for him, wiggling a bit in anticipation.

He leaned forward and put a finger inside me. I could barely keep my pace on Julia's sweet pussy with all the sensations, my breath was so heavy I had to pull back for a few seconds to breath and then go back at her clit. Then, I could feel the head of his cock against my wet hole, begging for him to ram into me like the little slut I was.

He was slow at first, tender and careful and I loved him for that. But once he got his momentum, all I wanted was to be his sex toy.

"Fuck me," I gasped.

And he did.

He started to pound into me with each stroke. It was difficult to keep my mouth on task. Instead with each thrust of his cock inside my cunt, I pressed my tongue into his wife's.

Then he pressed his finger against my clit.

I was gone.

Mouth on Julia's slit, I was screaming my pleasure through every nerve ending on my body. He had me a heaving mess by the time I came down.

When he pulled back, he grabbed my hair and pulled me upright, tossing me back onto the bed and he dove into between my legs, sucking on my clit, my lips, my hole until he had sucked all the cum out of me and I was orgasming again beneath his mouth.

When he had his full of my juice, he flipped me over again and started to fuck me from behind.

Julia reached over to her bed stand and came back with a large, black dildo.

"Use this," she whispered and laid back in front of me. Her upper thighs were already shiny from sweat and cum and saliva.

I put it in my mouth to make it wet, then rubbed it up and down her pussy. It was difficult to concentrate on her with the waves of pleasure rolling through me with her of her husband's thrusts. Finally, I was able to bury the dildo inside her, steading it and moving it in and out in time with the man inside me.

I leaned forward and wrapped my lips around her clit as I fucked her with the dildo and she squeezed her eyes shut, grabbing my shoulder and moaning loudly into the room.

Milo spanked me then, hard.

I yelped. "Easy," I told him.

"Sorry," he said.

But then he slapped me again just as hard. I reached back and grabbed his wrist. "Not so hard," I said. He didn't spank me again.

"Fuck her with the dildo," he said.

I kept up my work on Julia. This time, rotating it while inside her. She seemed to like this and came again on the toy. She reached down and pulled it out of her. I leaned forward and licked at her clit, but she lifted my chin up. "Need a little break," she said.

I was sad to see her go, almost hurt, like maybe she didn't want me anymore. I didn't have much time to think about it.

Milo pulled my legs back then, stretching me flat on the bed. He flipped me over and grabbed me behind my knees, pushing them up until my feet were over my shoulders and his head was between my knees. He entered me again, bracing himself on his palms and toes, putting his full weight behind his thrusts, each time slamming into a very deep part of me I never knew existed.

My vision blurred with each thrust, and just as I could see again in the slightest moment he stalled before coming back to me, there he was, inside me again, pressing into those untouched corners.

My sweat broke. I could feel the orgasm build.

It started behind my thighs, gathering in a tight ball that threatened to rip right through my skin. It travelled up to my throat, then my scalp, kneading the muscle, pressing against my skin as if trying to escape.

Then it ripped a whole through my chest.

I was screaming.

I couldn't see anything, my eyes shut tight to brace against the shuddering.

He didn't stop. Just kept ramming me over and over again, through multiple orgasms, I was beginning to fear he would never stop this torment.

Then finally he pushed into me to the hilt, our public bones smashing together, almost painful. He bite on my ear, growling shivers down my spine as he came, gushing inside me.

I was shaking beneath him.

He laid on me for a few moments after he came.

"Thank you," he whispered.

I rubbed his back, moving my hands in big, slow circles.

He sighed, "I want to lay here forever. This should be good material for your erotica."

I could have fallen asleep there, except he was crushing me and the weight adjusted on the bed behind me and I heard Julia say, "What erotica?"

"Allie is writing an erotic story," Milo said, still buried in my neck.

"When did you find out about that?" she asked.

"Oh the other day. We ran into each other at that café on State you like."

I was hyper-relaxed in my post-orgasmic state, but my skin went cold. I held my breath, waiting for her to process the beat.

"We should be getting ready." She said, "I have rehearsal in a bit."

"No you don't."

"I'm going to go in to rehearse."

He sighed and propped himself up. Julia got ready as if she was late for something. This couldn't be us now. Now there was a whole in my gut where my heart fell through it.

The fog was crowded over the city on my drive home. In this region, it would sometimes roll off the sea on a cloudless day, covering everything for miles. But then, if you only waited, it would clear, almost as if it had never been there at all.

I suppose with a couple with as much history and rules as them, it wouldn't be perfect forever. I got a message from Julia a few days later.

J: Hey Allie I thought we should check in with you today and maybe help you understand a little more about our dynamic as a couple. We are experienced in threesomes we know what works for us and what we like. We are interested in a purely sexual relationship either once or ongoing with someone. We aren't interested in adding a third for a relationship.

I felt a rock in my chest. I had hurt her. I wondered if she knew, too, the way I was starting to feel for Milo. I wondered if she was afraid I would be another woman asking him to leave her. How long could I really keep going with this couple?

A: I understand things have become a little too serious. I will have to take some time to think about it.

J: I realize you are just stepping into this world and it can be confusing at first as to what you want from it. Take as must time as you need.

Was I okay pretending all I wanted was their bodies? Could I just get naked, fuck, and then leave? I wasn't sure I could give Julia what she wanted.

**

I bailed on Ben a few times that week, still confused. He could tell something was up. He came to my door one evening with a bottle of red from Paso Robles, a frozen pizza, and a movie. I had to let him in.

"A feast," he said, uncorking the bottle. "Because someone needs a pick-me-up." He handed me a glass, we clinked. "What's been up with you lately?"

I shrugged. I hadn't even told Emma what had happened yet.

"Did someone hurt your feelings?" he was not teasing me.

I smiled and nodded, "Yes, but I hurt theirs, too."

He put his glass down and came at me with a wide hug, engulfing my face into his shoulder.

I laughed and we carried on. I put the pizza in the oven and we sat down with the film. It was some classic comedy and had me back to normal in no time. The buzzer went off and I went into the kitchen, I pulled it out and set it on the stove.

I felt some pressure against my waist. Ben had put his hand there as he came up behind me, peering over my shoulder.

"How does it look?" he asked.

"Good," I said and cut into it.

We set up sprawled across the couch, and before I could start the movie again, he asked, "Tell me how you lost your virginity."

I nearly burned my tongue on the pizza. "Right now?"

"Yes," he said, pouring another glass for both of us.

"Well for starters, I didn't lose it, I gave it away."

"Semantics."

"Do you want to hear my story?"

He made a gesture, locking his mouth and throwing away the key.

"He was my college boyfriend, on the baseball team. We met in a literature class."

"And?"

"And what?"

"That is not your story. Finish it."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. It was Junior year and it was his birthday." He cringed at me. "I'm not going to say it felt right, but, I was tired of waiting for it to feel right. I was starting to think it was never going to feel right and what I was actually waiting for was the right person, not the right time. So we were at his place and I said I wanted to, so we did."

"That's almost a little sad."

"No it's not, it's nice. He was a nice boy."

"Key word, boy," he said.

"So what about you?"

"I was hitchhiking through Finland at the time when the most beautiful Nordiac woman picked me up—"

I threw a pillow at his face.

"Alright. It was in high school. I was on the track team and there was this girl on the team that I liked. We were friends. Her parents couldn't pick her up after practice one day, so I offered to give her a ride home. I asked her if she wanted to go on a hike before I dropped her off. She agreed, and we hiked out not far, found a shady spot by the lake and laid together. I kept a blanket in the back of my car, just in case something like that might happen."

"What do you know," I said.

He smiled, "Right? So we started kissing, and I took off her shirt and we...explored. I had no idea what I was doing, but she had no idea how it was supposed to feel, I guess, so she seemed to like it. We dated for a few months."

"That's sweet."

"Is it though? We did it on a pile of rocks. My pants were still on."

I started laughing then, "It's sweet if you want it to be. It's your memory," I told him. "Why did you ask me anyway?"

He shrugged. "I just always wonder that when I meet new people. Even strangers on the street. I wonder how they lost their virginity."

"That's weird," I said, reaching out for the remote to continue the movie.

He shrugged again and pulled my legs to rest on top of his lap. "That okay?" he asked.

I nodded, taking another sip of wine. His thighs were warm underneath my legs.

After a few minutes, he started to stroke the tops of my feet, never looking away from the movie, as if he hadn't even noticed what he was doing. Part of me was afraid of moving, that I might break him away from his trance. The other part of me didn't want this, didn't want to lose my friend if it didn't work out.

"Ben," I said.

"Hm?" he smiled at me but didn't stop his steady massage. I shook my head and laid deeper into the sofa.

He inflicted this slow torture until the movie ended. By the end of it, my heart was racing. Despite our friendship, I couldn't deny he was attractive. I was attracted to him. I wasn't sure if I was ready though, still confused about Milo and Julia. It was as if the two of us were waiting for something. Both relishing the feeling of our hearts on fire, seeing how far we could go before the burn was unbearable.

When the credits came, I couldn't bear the tension anymore. I said, "Want to know a secret?"

He muted the TV, "Sure."

"When I first saw you, I noticed your ears first, and I thought, hm that man has big ears. I'm not sure they look good on him."

He swatted at my legs, "Be nice."

"Hey!" I tried to pull them back, but he grabbed underneath my knees and dragged me closer to him until my ass was pressed against the side of his leg, my feet dangling over the edge of the sofa. He leaned over me, "What do you think now?"

I licked my lips, focusing on calming my breathing. "I like them."

"Good," he said.

I sighed and moved to get off the couch but his chest wouldn't let me go, they held down my legs tight.

"Ben," I said softly.

He watched my face. Could he sense how flush I felt, like my heart was pounding in my head, in a pleasant, cloudy sort of way? I thought he was going to lean forward and kiss me. It would be so easy, just like our walks to Sunday coffee, just like our banter on the way down to the pool.

"Is your thing still complicated?" his voice low and breathy.

I bit my lip and nodded.

As if the spell was broken, he leaned back, brushing my legs off his lap.

He started cleaning up and I was surprised how disappointed I felt.

"It's not like that," I said.

He paused, turning back to me.

"It's not...exclusive."

"So, like friends with benefits?"

I shook my head. "Just come here."

I was sitting up now and he walked back toward me. I thought he would sit down next to me, but he didn't. Instead he to his knees.

"Come here," I said again and as if in a trance, he scooted in between my legs, resting his palms on the tops of my thighs and reached up until his face was level with mine.

I leaned forward, closing my eyes until my lips touched his.

His hands came up to my neck, cradling my head as he kissed me back. After a moment I felt light-headed.

Just as quickly as he had started, he stopped. He sat back on his heels, looking anywhere but me. He shivering just the slightest, as if trying to catch his breath.