Used

Many thanks to jellybelly2 for first editing and improving this story, to hornynurse76 for further improvements and to Shygirlwhore for making me to see that there was still more to fix.

*

Lexi was looking around again.

We were hot and heavy in her latest crazy configuration. I could tell she was close to coming. And there she was, twisting her body and bending her neck in various directions like she was trying to find something she lost.

Until I felt her shifting, I was lost in the moment with my eyes shut. It was disconcerting to see what she was doing, but not enough to slow down my urgency. I felt her muscle contractions and soft "yip" sounds -- like those of a little dog -- as her body began slamming against me. I began copying her movements, which she loved, because it usually gave her another orgasm.

Time seemed to stop for a while as her pleasure and mine reached a peak before we finally returned to ground level.

"Thanks," she said in a voice that was out of breath. "That was amazing."

"Thank you back," I said. "You didn't seem into it for a while, but I guess we got there in the end."

"What do you mean?"

"You seemed distracted, like you were looking for something."

"I wasn't distracted at all."

She sounded peeved.

"Don't get angry. I've noticed you doing it before. I'm wonder if you're giving me a sign?"

"A sign? Of what?"

"That you're getting tired of using me."

Lexi and I had been dating for more than a year, if you could call it dating. At the beginning, we did go to a show or eat dinner, but we soon found out the only thing we had in common was that we were both vacuous and flaky. Neither of us thought of anything except getting through another day at work so we cold waste our free time with frivolity. The only reason we stayed together was because the sex was good.

Both of us loved to experiment in bed. That's how our relationship played out -- usually twice a week. I made sure to never schedule any athletic activity on a day when we got together. When I was with her, I had to use every muscle in my body and all my lung power. When we were done, I was as limp as a wet rag.

She worked in web graphics, and I worked in finance. Other than that and sex, our lives were empty. I shouldn't speak for her. I never asked her what she was doing when she wasn't with me, and she didn't ask me what I was doing. I thought we both felt that any real intimacy would adversely affect our lust for each other. Looking back, I don't think I was a bad person, just selfish.

We explored almost every variety of sex for two people. Neither of us ever got interested in adding another body. Also, we didn't go for things like discomfort, humiliation or pain. Sometimes we knocked on the door and took a step or two inside, because we tended toward the fierce and intense rather than gentle and dreamy. It was all consensual. When I made overtures toward anal sex a few times, she declined firmly, and I respected her choice.

Recently, she had been experimenting with squeezing, pulling and twisting my testicles and spanking me hard on my butt. It didn't affect my performance, but I didn't like it and told her so.

Rather than respect my preferences, which both of us always did, she argued that I must like it because she noticed that I came much harder when she did it. It sounded as though she wanted to continue.

That's when I said that if we were running out of things that we both liked, maybe we had used each other up. It stopped her for a moment, and she asked me if I really thought so. I told her it was just a joke, but I think she saw through me.

Her response to my remark just now told me she remembered that conversation.

"When you first mentioned about using each other up, I thought a lot about us," she said. "I don't have an answer, but I can tell you for sure that what I was doing today has nothing to do with that.

"I know you watch porn on the Web, and I don't care. I don't usually watch it, but Raven sent me a link to a video a few weeks ago because she knows we like exotic positions. It was that pretzel thing we did last week where we could barely get untangled.

"After I watched it, I wondered what else there might be out there. I didn't see much we haven't already tried, except for some things I know you wouldn't be into, but I enjoyed watching the videos. I realized that I liked being a voyeur as much as you did.

"I fantasized that there was a way I could leave my body while we were having sex and walk around us looking at everything we were doing. That's what I've been trying to do. It's impossible to really watch us doing it, but when I get some glimpses, it really excites me. So I'm not distracted. I'm more aroused than ever, if that's possible."

"I apologize. You're not escaping from the moment. You're trying to get deeper into it."

"Yes, that's it. I wish there was a way that my fantasy could come true. You know what I was thinking? It wouldn't be the same, but what if we could do a video of us making love? That's probably as close as we could come.

"I don't see why we couldn't," I said. "We could set up a camera and even some lights."

"I thought about that," she said. "That wouldn't be any good. I've seen those amateur videos online, and the couple has to think about staying in camera range and has to stop to press the remote for zooming in and out. It takes all the excitement and spontaneity out of what they are doing.

"No, the only way to do it would be to have someone film us. The person could move around everywhere to get the best shots, and we would just focus on having crazy sex. But that doesn't work either, because neither of us wants to share our special times with anyone else. So it's a Catch-22, unless you can think of something else."

"You're right," I said, "That would be a problem."

************

Lexi continued to look around while we had sex, but it no longer bothered me.

A few months later, I noticed something else different. She was no longer coming up with new things to do. She always had things to suggest, but now they were all things we had done before. At first, I didn't say anything, because I didn't care that much. I enjoyed everything we did together. Finally, I asked her about it one night.

"Are you complaining?" she asked.

"No. I was just wondering."

"When was the last time you suggested something new?"

"I don't know."

"I can't remember either. It's been months since you offered anything. I got tired of carrying the ball all the time."

"So we're doing our greatest hits now?"

"Are you complaining?" she asked again.

"No. But I'll try to come up with something so you don't have to do all the work."

"That's why I stopped doing it," she said. "It was starting to seem like work. You don't need to work at it to please me. I'm enjoying what we're doing."

"Me, too."

I never did come up with anything new, but as far as I could tell, we were both still having a good time. About two months later, when she was getting dressed to leave after an exhausting and satisfying evening, she brought up the video idea again.

"Have you solved the problem of who would film us?" I asked.

"Maybe. I've thought about the two of us and how another person in the room might affect us, and I've decided it wouldn't be so bad if it was the right person."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it would need to be someone we were comfortable with, someone we both know, someone who wouldn't inhibit us."

"That doesn't sound like anyone I know."

"What about your friend, Jerry."

"Do you know Jerry?"

"I've met him a few times through work. I didn't find out he was your friend until a few weeks ago. I liked him and was surprised to discover how close the two of you have been since you were kids. You never mentioned his name to me.

"As you know, he's head of communications at his company and he does a lot of video shooting and editing. Do you trust him?"

I wanted to ask her about how she met Jerry and how well she knew him, but we never asked each other about what we did when we weren't together.

I thought about Jerry. He was not just a friend. He was my oldest and closest friend. We had lost touch for a while when he went to college out of town and I stayed here. But when he moved back, it was like we never skipped a beat.

Sometimes I didn't see him for months, and sometimes we'd get together almost every week for a while. I tell him everything about my life, and he tells me everything about his.

I never told him about Lexi, maybe because I thought of her as belonging to a second life that had nothing to do with my real life. It had been a while since I last talked to Jerry, and I had been thinking of calling him but hadn't gotten around to it.

"What are you thinking?" asked Lexi when I didn't respond to her question.

"I was thinking about Jerry. I don't know that I'd want him involved in this. Have you mentioned it to him?"

"Yes. At first, he was really against it. But I think I've talked him into it. Why don't you ask him?"

"I don't know," I said. I was wondering how she and Jerry got into that kind of conversation and if they were sleeping together. If they were, why would he agree to something like this? All sorts of things were running through my mind. When I was with Lexi, I never thought about anything but sex. Now I was having strange, unfamiliar feelings.

"If you don't trust him enough, I know another person, but you don't like her."

"You mean Raven," I said. "Is she a video expert?"

"No," she said, "but I'm sure she could learn enough to do this if you prefer her over your friend."

I thought about her gaunt roommate who had a strange voice and stringy black hair. She wore black lipstick, put purple stuff around her eyes and dressed in what looked like black rags sewn together. Each time I had met her, she had made no effort to hide the fact that she thought I was some kind of ignorant square whom she and her fellow goths considered beneath contempt.

The second time she started in on me, I let her know how I and normal people laughed at the way she and her sick weirdo friends dressed and talked. I must have hit a nerve, because she broke down and started crying hysterically until Lexi hugged her and motioned for me to get out of there. After that, Lexi made sure I wasn't alone with Raven again.

"Raven gives me the willies," I said. "I don't think I'd feel like having sex if she was in the room."

"Okay," said Lexi. "Let's try to think of some other people. I can tell you aren't as interested in this as I am. For me, it's something that we'll always have, and we can watch it whenever we want and remember the great times we've had together. I've decided I really want this."

"I understand," I said. "I'll think about it some more."

What I was thinking was that what she just said sounded like she was about to dump me and wanted the video as a souvenir. Again, strange thoughts came into my mind, but I didn't want to deal with them. A couple of days later, I called Jerry at work.

"Yes, I said I'd do it," he said, "but I told her that I wasn't comfortable about it and that you would never agree anyway."

"If you're not comfortable about it, why did you agree?"

"She's very persuasive."

"Are you sleeping with her?"

"No. I want to, but on our second date, when we were telling each other our life histories. I mentioned your name, and she freaked. She wouldn't tell me why she was acting so weird, but the next time we got together, she told me all about the two of you."

"I don't know why she did that, because I'm not really part of her life, and I wouldn't be upset if you slept with her."

"She told me all about your special arrangement," Jerry said, "and she said that you wouldn't mind whatever she and I did. I told her we didn't always agree on everything, and this must be one of them, because I would never have sex with her while she was with you. That got her upset, but I think she understands now."

"So you're still seeing her?"

"We get together occasionally."

"I'm surprised you're not sleeping with her. I can't think of what else the two of you could do. She's as shallow as I am. There's nothing there but an amazing body."

"I'm surprised to hear you say that. I love to talk to her. Her ideas are interesting and so is what she's doing with her life. She's likes a lot of the same books I do -- and music. Movies, too. But what I like best is when we talk about things we don't have in common. I've learned so much from her. She is a amazing."

"I can't believe you're talking about Lexi," I said. "I don't know how she's fooling you, but she's nothing like how you describe her."

"She can't fake the stuff we talk about. It's pretty deep. I don't know if this explains anything, but once when we talked about you, she said that she used to be the same as you.

"About six months ago, something clicked for her. The way she put it is that she started growing as a human being, but you stayed the same. She says she tried a few times to interest you in some of her new feelings, but you never responded. She doesn't think you even heard her."

"Well, I'm not going to lie to you and say I'm any different from the way I've always been," I said. "But I can't believe she is either. The only thing I've noticed is that maybe she's getting tired of me."

"Did she tell you that?"

"No. It's just certain things she says and the way she says them. I could be wrong."

"How would you feel if it was true?"

"I don't know. I guess I would miss her in some ways. We always have a great time together. I've never given any thought to ending our relationship. Lately, I've had some strange thoughts about her. Maybe things have changed."

"You should talk to her about your thoughts," he suggested, "and ask her what she's thinking."

"We've never done that," I said. "It's sort of an unwritten rule we have, because we both know it might get in the way of what we like to do together."

"If things have changed like you think they have, then you should break that rule," he said. "Or you might regret it later."

"You're probably right," I said. "Thanks for the advice. I'm still having trouble thinking that the Lexi I know and the one you describe are the same person. This video thing sounds like my Lexi, not yours."

"Maybe," he said.

After that we caught up on some things, and neither of us mentioned the video again before we hung up.

************

Lexi didn't either, until I was about to leave her home a week later. It was late. We had spent the evening at her place, and I was dressed and walking out of the bedroom when she said, "I heard you talked to Jerry."

I turned around.

"Yes," I said.

She seemed to be waiting for me to say something. There were things I wanted to tell her about the conversation with Jerry and things I wanted to ask her.

If I did, I knew that what we had together would be over. Everything would be different. Maybe it would be better, but I was also worried that it might be worse -- or it might be the finish of us. In the end, I was more afraid than optimistic. I was a coward. I didn't say anything.

I heard her sigh.

"He said you mentioned the video but you never told him whether you were okay with him doing it or not."

So that's all she was waiting for, I thought. Jerry had me thinking all kinds of things about her, but she's the same old Lexi. She wants her video. Well, why not?

"Okay," I said.

"What did you say?"

"I said I'll do it."

She didn't say anything, but she jumped up from the bed and held onto me for dear life. She really wants that video, I thought, as she gave me a long kiss. But something bothered me when she let me loose. I noticed my face was wet. What was she crying about?

***********

Jerry phoned me the next day.

"You're really going through with this? I can't believe it."

"I don't know why, so don't ask me. Are you going to be totally grossed out watching us?"

"I don't know," he said. "I was thinking about that. I'm going to try to stay removed by concentrating on all the technical stuff -- lighting, angles, zooms and all that. But I warned Lexi that I don't know how I'm going to feel about watching her with you. I might not want to see her again. She got really upset when I said that."

Maybe Lexi had second thoughts, because I didn't hear from her for a week and a half, and she didn't return my calls. It was rare that we stayed away from each other that long unless one of us was out of town on business.

Finally, she called, and the following night after another hot session, she told me to put a date on my calendar. It was a Friday night a few weeks away. She sounded a little nervous when she told me, and I remembered what Jerry had said. She had decided to take the risk of losing his friendship.

A few nights later, we got together again. She looked like she wanted to say something before we started, and she had the same look afterward, but she never mentioned the video or anything else.

She seemed a little distant. She was as energetic as always, and she came as often as ever, but whenever her face came into view, I noticed that it wasn't showing the pure lust that it usually did. I figured the reason was that she was nervous about the video.

A few nights later, it was a repeat. She seemed about to say something when I got there, and then she had that different look again while we went at each other. When I was putting on my shoes, she took a deep breath and told me what was on her mind. It was so weird that I didn't believe what I was hearing.

"Morgan, I've been thinking about the video. You know I came up with the idea because it was the closest thing I could think of to my fantasy of watching us having sex.

"As I've been preparing for it, I realized a couple of things. The first one is that I'm a voyeur, not an exhibitionist. I really don't want to be filmed while I'm fucking you.

"The second thing is that watching us doing all the crazy things in bed that we do -- like you say, our greatest hits -- is different from watching a video of us doing them.

"Don't get insulted. I love doing them with you, but we've done them so many times now. I'm much more excited about watching us doing them live because I've never had an experience like that, and this will probably be my only chance. After that, I can watch the video. Do you understand?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. You can't be in two places at once, so how can you watch us have sex as we're having sex."

"You're right," she said. "That's my fantasy, and I know I can never have that. What I'm talking about is another compromise. But if you agree, I would be able to watch us live.

"I could look wherever I wanted. I could walk around the bed, get on it, get next to it, move back or stick my face as close as I want to. I could hear every sticky, squishy, sloppy, slappy sound our bodies make and every sigh and moan. I could see what our faces look like as we come. It would be amazing."

"I still don't understand," I said. "You can't have sex with me if you are doing that."

"But an actress who's playing me could."

I was so stunned that I had nothing to say.

After some seconds of silence, she said, "I've figured it all out, and I've already talked to Raven. She hasn't agreed yet, but I know she'll give in."

"No!" I yelled.

At that point, I knew Lexi had gone out of her mind. She knew it, too, and that's why she had been scared to say anything. I looked at her. She was smiling.

"I wish you weren't so reticent about telling me how you feel," she said.

She laughed.

"So you're pulling my leg."