Walking with Sam

"What's wrong?" I breathed.

"Still trying to work that bit out..."

"Oh. Do... shall I get out of you..."

"No! No," she added, softer. "I love them where they are. I... it's just... oh God, Willa, that was so intense. I've... I've never experienced anything like that. So... so... I'm just..."

"Overwhelmed?" I gently suggested.

"You certainly left me... senseless for a bit there."

I raised myself on my elbow and stared down at her. She stared right back. She kept trying to frown but a smile would always break through.

I grinned. "Endorphins are fun, aren't they."

"You are all the fun I ever want. That was... unforgettable. I needed that. Thank you."

She slid her hand down my back, teasing her soft touch gently along the muscles on either side of my spine.

I shivered.

"So... how are you doing?" she asked me, almost shyly.

"I'd hump a log into sawdust right about now," I muttered. "I... I don't think I've ever been this horny. Or this wet. Ever. God... oh my God, Sam. Look. Look at that. I'm actually dripping. You've actually got me so aroused that I'm dripping."

She grinned up at me. "So... you enjoyed that then?"

"You... you intoxicate me. You, your body, the scent of you, the sounds you made when you came... I could never get enough of any of that."

"Mm."

She slipped her hand downwards, nudged at my hip. "Roll away a bit," she begged. "I want to touch you again."

I shifted my leg, opened myself, granting her access; I bit my lip hard as she fumbled at me, arching forward a bit as she found my clit again.

"That's the spot," I grunted. "Oh, oh that's nice..."

"You feel magical," she whispered. "And so... so slippery. Can I... look at you?"

"Look... at me? What..."

"At your lips. Your pussy. Your... clitoris. I've... never seen anyone else's..."

"Oh. Nobody's ever... asked me that before. I always kind of assumed permission was... mm... implicitly given..."

"Well, I'm asking."

"You can look, touch, taste, feel, be in absolutely any part of me you want to," I told her earnestly. "I'm serious. I'm... I'm here for you. You can have me any way you need to. Any... uhn... bit of me..."

"Any bit?" she said, grinning. "So like, nostrils and so on are on the table here?"

"Um. Okay. Almost... any bit," I corrected myself.

I was so in love with her smile. There was a little dash of wickedness to it, and I couldn't get enough of it.

Or her.

"Want to roll over?" she asked. "Onto your back?"

So I eased myself out of her (earning me a delightful little groan as my fingers cleared her pussy) and stretched out. She took a slow, deep breath as she gathered herself, then shimmied down the bed for a better view.

I opened my legs and reached down to spread myself for her so that she could see all of me.

She stared down at me.

"God," she breathed, after a while. "You're... so pink. And so... neat."

I shifted my hips, smiled up at her. "I'm enjoying you staring at me like that. It's very... entertaining. I like that expression."

"Looking at your body like this is doing it for me, that's for sure. You're gorgeous. And I want you. Desperately so. What do you like, Willa? How can I please you? Please? Tell me what you need..."

"I... I really like slow touching of my clit. It's my guaranteed crowd-pleaser. Just with a fingertip. Give me your hand..."

"Here..."

"Like... this..."

"Oh... oh wow, your skin is so soft. And... and you're so warm and slick. And... so bare."

"Yes.... uhn... like having not much down there..."

"It's very erotic. I... like it..."

"Sam," I whined.

"Yeah..."

"I'm loving this dirty talk. I really am... but, do you know what I'd really love right now?"

"What?" she breathed.

"You don't have to do it..."

"Stop teasing. Tell me. I want to make you feel good."

"I'd... love your tongue on me... if you like..."

"Oh."

She pondered for a moment.

"Really?"

"If you don't want..."

"No, I want," she declared.

She shifted, lowered herself between my thighs; I groaned as she tentatively touched her tongue to me then withdrew.

"Where? How?" she mumbled.

"Just... around my clit... like you would a... finger..."

She dropped lower, gently probed me.

I couldn't stop the low, almost pained moan; couldn't resist the urge to reach out and tangle my hands into her hair as she slowly and hesitantly explored me, tasted me. She grew more confident as she felt how I was responding to her; I raised myself on my elbows and stared down at her, watching her as she nuzzled at me, tongued me, and even tried once or twice to probe my entrance with her tongue. She stared up at me, then broke for air, grinning.

"It's... nice," she breathed. "Doing this to you. Tasting you. I... like this. I like this a lot."

She lowered her mouth to me again and I writhed, whimpering.

"Use... your fingers... in me..." I gasped in between her slow, excruciating licks.

She broke for air again, smiled up at me. "Is that nice?"

"So nice, oh my God it's so nice..."

I let myself fall back and started to finger and tease my nipples, shuddering as she penetrated me with her finger and lowered her mouth to me again.

"Just... like that," I whimpered. "That's great. Just keep doing that. Do that... just do that... oh my God, Sam, you're... you're great, just... just don't stop... or change anything, please..."

I was ramping up fast towards what promised to be a brutal orgasm.

God, I loved her in me.

I loved the hot scent of us making love. The heat of her mouth against me. The way her breath would sometimes catch in her throat as she swallowed...

I was close.

She had beginner's luck.

Beginner's fuck, the twisted bit of me punned.

And I began to laugh, and then my orgasm took me and turned my laughter to incoherence as I arched and writhed against her, thighs clamping hard on her cheeks as lightning and fireworks going off in every last far-flung bit of me.

She was pitiless. She kept tonguing me, making little delighted noises as she clenched me to her and possessed me, body and soul.

Very quickly, though, I reached the point where I couldn't take any more.

"Stop. Stop stop stop," I begged, body shaking wildly. "Please, please please, please Sam, please..."

And, achingly slowly, she slipped herself out of me and started to kiss her way up from my mons to my belly and from there upwards between my breasts to my mouth; she lowered herself to me and laughed, exultant, as my full-body shudder rattled us both.

I buried my face in her neck, balanced on a perfect razor's edge between euphoria and tears; she must have sensed it because she rolled onto her side and pulled me in to her and lay there, simply stroking the back of my head, both of us just breathing.

.:.

She shifted slightly, tucked some strands of my hair away from my eyes.

"So..." she murmured.

I nuzzled closer, almost lost in her warmth. My hand rested on her hip, fingers curling to follow her lovely lithe form.

"Willa. Are you listening?"

"No."

"Really?" she demanded.

"Yes. I'm too busy enjoying being lost in the scent and bliss of you."

"Willa..."

She sounded serious.

I sighed.

So it was time to pay the piper, then.

"Yeah?" I breathed. I shifted back, opened my eyes, met her gaze.

"Are... was... was this...good?"

I stared at her for a moment, nonplussed.

"Are you really, seriously and unironically asking me that, Sam?"

"Yes," she whispered. "I loved this. It was... it was so good, so special. I... it was... look, I understand it's a sudden thing to spring on you given I jumped you, but..."

"You jumped me, is it?"

She managed a small smile. "Didn't I?"

"I did at least half the jumping. Probably more than half, given my tendencies..."

"Oh. Really?"

I grinned. "Are you asking me if I want to... have sex again, sometime? Specifically with you? Very specifically with you?"

She flushed.

"Kind of, yes," she confessed. "It... it was really, really special. And nice. Um. For me."

"For me too, you know," I said, suddenly serious. I sighed. "I... look, I know I talk a good fight, but... I don't do this, Sam. I don't jump into bed with everyone. With anyone, really. This... this was different for me. I need you to know how different. I'm not a... a casual, discardable girl. This was... this was a big leap of faith for me."

She seemed to relax a bit as she let out a shaky breath.

"Good. I'm... I'm glad to hear that. I'd... I'd really hate to think this was a once off. I'd be devastated. I don't want it to be. A once off, I mean," she said, almost babbling the words in her rush to get them out.

I stared at her for a heartbeat, loving her for her innocence.

"Oh, you're far too good at this for it to be a once off", I breathed. "Now that I know how good you are I don't want anything else but to be like this with you. But... on a slightly more awkward note though... what now? You're... a married women. Well, allegedly, anyway. I can't say I've seen much evidence..."

"Tell me something I don't know," she muttered. "And that's the problem in a nutshell. What are we going to do?"

"I don't know. I mean... it's not like I can waltz up to you in the street and snog you, is it."

"I wouldn't complain. But... yes."

I watched her.

I somehow knew what she was going to ask.

There was nobody else on Earth I would ever consider doing it for. There was nobody else I would let ask me this.

But... I knew she had no choice.

Not yet, anyway.

I would need to agree to it to be able to... be with her like this. Like I needed to.

I wouldn't let it hurt me.

"It's hard being an adult, isn't it," I said, partly to myself.

"Yes," she whispered. "So hard."

"Well. Sam... if you need... this... to be a secret, then... I guess... I can do that. For you. Only for you. I'll always be here for you if you want me. "

"When I want you," she corrected me. "Because that's going to be constantly. Constantly, Willa."

She stared at me, and it seemed she was almost... sad.

"So does that make you my firm and pert young piece on the side?" she said.

I smiled at that, remembering my description and enjoying the changes she'd made to it.

"I'll do my very best," I said.

She moved closer, touched her forehead to mine.

"I feel so filthy that I'm asking you to be my dirty little secret. I know how... sordid that is. I'm... I'm sorry, Willa. I wish... "

"Sex is complicated. Wanting people is even more so," I breathed.

"I want..." she whispered.

"What?" I gently asked her, after she'd been silent for a while.

"This. This tenderness. This closeness to you. Your skin, your breath, your scent. Your heartbeat. I want this in my every day. I don't want to be without this. I don't want to have to hide how much I... care for you. I want to be able to kiss you and be damned to everyone else and their... their fucking judgement."

Her words warmed me through and through. So I bit down the threatening sob and kissed her, kissed her cheeks, listened with an aching heart to the little shuddering sigh she let out.

"Do... do you want to stay the night?" she whispered. "I'd... I'd really like to have you here. Tonight, I mean. But I'll drive you home if you'd prefer..."

"I'll stay," I breathed. "But only because you asked me so nicely."

She shifted, glanced up at me, saw the smile.

"You're terrible."

"Oh, babe, you've barely even scratched the surface."

"I look forward to getting deeper, then," she said, with a coy little smile of her own. "Willa?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"Could you... spoon me for a bit? It's... it's been so very long since I was held. And... and I'd really like it. To be held like that again, I mean. By you. Um. Very specifically by you."

She was so tongue-tied, so sweet.

I loved her for it.

"Roll over," I said, nudging her shoulder with my nose.

We dragged the thick down duvet over us.

She arranged the pillows and lay down on her left hand side facing the wall-to-ceiling windows and their partially-feathered blinds.

I wrapped myself around her and found a comfortable space for my hand below her breasts, and I tucked my knees in behind her thighs. Every bit of me was touching her, and she let out a shivery little breath as she settled in against me.

"You are so lovely against me like this," she whispered. "Thank you."

And I packed the brand new slice of newly baked sadness away and focussed on the tangible reality of this perfect, neglected creature in my arms.

She fell asleep in what felt like minutes; exhaustion and endorphins and my warm body ganged up and finished her off.

I, though, didn't sleep much at all.

.:.

Sunday passed far too quickly - a long, run-on blur of orgasms and eroticism during which neither of us bothered to put on clothes because we knew we'd just be taking them off again. Sam did at several points don an apron as she cooked for us; I'd amuse myself by sitting, wrapped in a blanket, watching as her stunning little breasts peeked out from beneath the sturdy canvas.

She had a way of singing while she worked that was sublime, and she'd catch me watching with a silly little smile on my face, flush, and carry on.

We ran several enormous baths and demolished her bath salt collection.

And we spent much of our precious time together just holding one another, skin to skin. She'd doze beside me, and as she dozed I'd stare at her face, trying to etch her features into my memory forever.

Because I knew it was too good to last.

I was besotted. I was intoxicated with her. I could not bear to be more than a brief touch away.

And I knew from bitter personal experience that sometime, somehow, somewhere - something would tear her away from me.

She drove me home late on Sunday evening, and we kissed and hugged and touched and caressed one another for quite some time in the constricting and awkward confines of her car.

She blew me a kiss before she drove away, and I tottered upstairs on worn-out legs to the stares and grins of my two incredulous flatmates who I greeted perfunctorily before retreating to the musty sanctuary of my room.

I wept a small sea's worth of tears that night - some from despair but most just catharsis. It had been a long time since I'd felt anything this intense for... anyone.

And I hadn't been ready.

I hadn't been at all ready to fall this hard for someone again.

.:.

All too soon, it was Monday morning.

I trudged in to work, dressed in an understated wardrobe that was mostly just the blacks, browns and greys that mirrored my mood.

I hadn't felt bright enough to put on my usual colourful show.

I'd made peace with the worst of the shadows; I'd found some solace in the knowledge that I at least had her, even if it was something... hidden... for now.

Maybe that would change.

Maybe with enough time...

Then I sighed.

I stared down at my feet as I walked.

I wondered how long it would be before I saw her again.

I wondered if she'd... reconsider us in the cold light of day.

She had a wonderful life. She had a beautiful house, and by what she'd told me a lovely daughter. She'd never go hungry, never go cold, never lack for anything.

Except love, a small part of me pointed out.

I wondered if I would become a distracting little hobby, some secret little walled-off part of her life that brought excitement to the daily grey.

I hoped not.

My heart wouldn't take it.

I sighed, sniffed, and slung my bag in under my desk.

I should have guarded myself better, I thought, rueful and bitter with myself and my constant and consistently poor choices over who I gave my heart to.

But it had been so very, very precious to be with her.

I just wasn't sure it would be worth the price if she didn't want me any more.

Work dragged.

I was tired and moody and down, and my co-workers immediately noticed the lack of sparkle in their day. Mary (the owner's wife and unelected office mum) stopped by to give me a quick health check; I somehow managed a smile for her and assured her I was okay - just worn out after a busy weekend.

She remained entirely unconvinced, and reappeared not long after with cup of tea which she placed deliberately in front of me on my desk.

And the teas kept coming through the morning.

I was horribly embarrassed - I was usually so good at keeping my shields up. But today...

Today I couldn't.

Today my mind was elsewhere.

Today my mind was obsessed with the absence of warm eyes and warm arms and the warmth of her body close to me.

And as a result I discovered just how much my workmates all cared for me - the bright and sparkly young girl who was suddenly and inexplicably a bedraggled bird of paradise amongst the wrens.

And as a result everybody wanted to come and check up on their "little sister".

And it cheered me up a bit to realise that I was loved here.

But I still missed Sam with an almost physical pain in my heart.

I put my nose down and cracked on, thinking about little but finishing the day so that I could escape and go and mope somewhere more sheltered and private.

But sometime near lunchtime Mary came through and told me that I was needed at the Tradesmen's desk because someone was asking for me by name.

She was grinning in a most unsettling way.

"For me?" I said, incredulous.

Nobody ever, ever looked for me. And at the Tradesmen's desk? Nobody I knew would be there these days...

"Yep," Mary said with a knowing smile. "Some absolutely lovely posh lady."

"Oh..."

Oh no.

I went all strange and shaky.

Surely not...

Surely she hadn't...

... had she?

I stood.

And I followed Mary nervously through to the main warehouse floor...

And stopped dead in my tracks, struck dumb.

She stood near the warehouse entrance, gently backlit by the bright sunlight outside; hair a burnished red-gold glory that framed her divine face. Her duck-egg-blue Santa-Barbara-emblazoned tee shirt was skin-tight and ended maybe an inch above the waistline of her rich blue body-sheathing denims, showing her slender midriff and wonderful navel off to the world with careless and almost wanton abandon.

She pushed her sunglasses further back on her head, and sauntered confidently to me, tall and glamorous in the lovely brown leather boots she'd selected that morning.

A tiny part of me noticed that her fingers were bare - she'd shed her rings.

A less tiny, but extremely horrified part of me noticed Mary grinning widely off to one side as Sam wrapped her arms around me and leaned in to kiss me full on the lips - long and slow and sultry and more than enough to turn my legs to jelly and my knickers to a disaster zone.

"Hello you," my lover breathed when she was done toying with me.

"Um... hi... um... um... how..." I stammered, hot and pink and... aching.

"There aren't many builder's yards nearby. I went looking. Yours was fifth on the list of nine."

"Oh," I squeaked.

"Go take your lunch break, Willa," Mary chuckled from the side. "I'll do mine later. Take your time and don't hurry back, pet. Enjoy the sunshine, it's a lovely day outside."

"Thank you..." I managed, heart clattering around like a crackers horse upending an entire warehouse of pots and pans under my ribs as I stared in complete distraction into Sam's lovely eyes.

"Come on," Sam said. "We can picnic on Bertha's load tray. I brought goodies. Sorry the view will be of the parking lot and timber stacks..."

"Oh my God, Sam... you... you can't just turn up and..."

"Can't I?" she whispered, grinning as she pressed herself in against me. "Are these more rules for me? How distressing. Here's my rebuttal. I missed you last night. I missed you even more this morning when I woke up, cold and horny and so very, very deprived of you..."