When You're Near Me

"Thanks." The thirsty brunette gulped the water.

Jessie stopped the brunette from drinking it all at once, taking it away. "Okay that's enough for now."

Ashley wiped her brow. "That took a lot out of me."

"Yeah, well, you've only got a few minutes before your game starts. Morgan was already over here looking for you." Jessie handed the bottle back to the brunette. "Drink it slow."

"Yes, ma'am." Ashley took a quick sip. "I'll be okay. They're not depending on me to play the whole game anyway."

"Change of plans." Jessie shrugged. "Morgan said a couple of the players couldn't make it." The blonde eyed the flushed-face brunette. "You know, it's just a game. You don't have to play."

Ashley used the collar of her shirt to wipe her neck dry. "I know." Not wanting to appear frail in front of her friend, Ashley's bravado rose to the surface. "I can handle it."

What Jessie wanted to say she held in check as she stared at Ashley. Her jumbled thoughts were bouncing around in her mind and her confused emotions ran amuck. The blonde was being hit from all sides when it came to ciphering out her feelings toward the brunette sitting in front of her. A war was waging inside her and Jessie was afraid to voice her concerns so she simply nodded.

Ashley couldn't read what was going on in her friend's mind so she reached up and gave Jessie's hand a quick squeeze. "I'll be careful and if I get too tired, I'll take myself out." That promise seemed to appease the blonde so Ashley stood up and nodded toward another field. "Ready?"

Jessie reluctantly followed alongside her friend. Several times during their walk to the other field, the blonde had the irresistible desire to reach out and wrap her arm over Ashley's shoulder. Instead, she stole covert glances toward Ashley and tried not to smile.

The brunette noticed her friend's unusual quietness and skittish behavior but Ashley chose to let Jessie tell her what was on the blonde's mind if and when her friend was ready. Ashley met Jessie's glances with a shy smile.

"Bout time." Morgan yelled. "We're starting now."

Ashley rolled her eyes then turned to Jessie. "Wish me luck?"

The brunette's unexpected question brought the distracted blonde out of her pondering musings. "Ah, yeah, sure." Jessie gave a hurried hug to her friend before she abruptly turned and joined Breanne and Andrew on the bleachers.

Confused by the blonde's behavior, Ashley reluctantly was dragged out onto the field by Morgan. "Hey, I'm coming."

Sitting between Breanne and Ashley's brother, Jessie wasn't in the mood to talk. She had too much on her mind. And all through the game, her eyes never left Ashley except for one time. The blonde watched as Ashley got knocked down a few times but she held her breath, not saying anything. She wanted desperately to run down on the field and yank Ashley out of the game. When Ashley bent over, heaving for a breath, Jessie came close to doing what she wished. Though Jessie realized she didn't have the right to tell Ashley what to do.

When the game was finally over, the blonde hurried to Ashley's side with a bottle of water. Ashley felt fine, although she was tired, but what concerned her most was Jessie's unusual attentiveness. "You okay?"

"I should be asking you that." Jessie chastised herself for not pulling her friend out of the game as she looked at Ashley's red face. "You don't look so good."

"Well, thanks." Ashley ran her hand through her damp hair.

"I didn't mean it like that." Jessie's words came out sharper than she intended.

Before Ashley could get to the bottom of Jessie's behavior, Breanne tapped her on the shoulder.

"Listen, Ashley, I... wanted to talk with you a moment." Breanne was having difficulty starting her prepared talk with the brunette.

"I think she needs to get home and get some rest." Jessie announced, unconcerned about what anyone else thought.

Breanne glared at the blonde so Ashley interceded. "How about tomorrow? Can you stop by?"

Not taking her disapproving eyes off of the blonde, Breanne reluctantly agreed. She would have rather preferred talking with her friend while Morgan was close by. "Sure. Around noon?"

"Okay." Ashley noticed the tension between the blonde and Breanne. In an effort to calm Jessie, the brunette slipped her fingers around the blonde's nearest arm and let them run lightly over a small area of skin.

Immediately, Jessie relaxed her stance.

Andrew watched closely the interaction between the three women and felt it was time to disperse what could be an explosive scene. "Ashley? I really need to get going. You mind?"

Jessie hooked her hand under the brunette's elbow. "Right."

Surprised by the blonde's take-charge demeanor, Ashley decided to acquiesce. "Breanne, I'll see you tomorrow then."

The upset Breanne watched the blonde lead Ashley away when she felt Morgan come up behind her. "I don't like her."

"Who?"

"Her. Ashley's so-called friend." Breanne spat.

Morgan soothed the small of her girlfriend's back. "She's okay." Hoping to get Breanne's mind off the blonde, Morgan suggested. "Why don't we stop by Belle's for a nightcap."

Her girlfriend's idea fit her mood and she readily agreed to Morgan's surprise. "Fine by me."

Jessie decided to follow Ashley home but they had to make a detour to drop off Andrew.

It was Andrew that filled in a bit of background on why Jessie reacted protectively when Breanne wanted some of her time. "She..."

"Breanne?"

"Yeah, she made a few backhanded remarks about you and Jessie took exception to them." Andrew shrugged before a small smile crept on his face. "Apparently, Breanne wasn't too happy that you haven't had time for her since you've been spending all your time with Jessie now."

"And?" Ashley wondered what Jessie's response to that remark was.

"And... Jessie said something about Breanne should be a better friend to you and take your feelings into consideration." Andrew turned toward his sister before he got out of her truck. "It was the only time her eyes left you the whole time."

Blushing slightly from that comment regarding the whereabouts of Jessie's eyes, Ashley refused to look at her brother. "Yes, well, it was an interesting game."

"Ha!" Andrew chuckled. "Although she was interested all right and not about the game." Before Ashley could reply even if she had wanted to, Andrew jumped out of the truck and winked at his sister. He waited till he got her full attention. "Give her a goodnight kiss for me, will ya?"

"Get out of here." Had Ashley found something loose lying around in her truck, she would have tossed it at her impish brother.

"Bye." Andrew ran up the walkway to his home.

On her way home, Ashley eyed the sports car following her in the rearview mirror. Something had changed over the last day with her friend and she wanted to know what it was but was reluctant to come right out and ask Jessie for fear of what the blonde might say. However, she did have one burning question on her mind. After she parked her truck, Ashley walked up to the sports car and asked. "Jess, what's going on?"

"What do you mean?" The blonde was a bit defensive, her hands still gripping the steering wheel.

Ashley sighed. "You've been a little... assertive this evening. I don't know...sorta distracted or mad or upset...something."

"I don't know what you mean." Jessie knew she was out of line when she led Ashley away from Breanne and was relieved that the brunette didn't resist. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Just tell me what's going on." Ashley was very concerned and considering what she had learned from her brother, rightfully so. However, Jessie was acting a little out of the ordinary since the blonde called her about driving herself to the game.

Jessie shrugged. "Nothing. Not really."

Unconvinced, Ashley held her tongue.

"Really. It's nothing." Jessie placed her hand over Ashley's hand that was resting on the ledge of her door. "I promise."

Sighing heavily, Ashley chose to let the blonde get away with her inept explanation for now. "Okay, but call me tomorrow. I'm going to be busy but I'll make time." It was Jessie's down turned eyes that caused Ashley to add. "Please."

Nodding, Jessie assured her friend. "I will."

Ashley wanted to say more but decided it had been a long day for both of them. "Goodnight then and drive careful."

Jessie squeezed Ashley's hand before starting her car. She pulled away from the curb with unsaid words still lingering in her mind. The blonde was a mass of confusion and she needed time to sort things out before she could traverse the perilous journey that she had considered ever since Krista verbalized what she had been feeling toward Ashley for a long time now. The blonde sighed in hopeful wonder. I wanna be in love.

What Ashley needed was a long soak in the tub but she opted for a quick shower before hitting her bed. Thoughts of a certain blonde lingered in her mind and showed up in her dreams that night.

*************************

When Breanne finally showed up nearly half past noon, Ashley was glad her friend didn't ask for a massage. She had been busy all morning and needed a rest. So as they sat at the kitchen table, the brunette waited patiently for her friend to begin.

Breanne was slow to initiate the conversation, relying on trivial matters to fill the time. When Ashley checked her watch, Breanne reluctantly spoke. "I... been thinking about..." At the last minute, she changed the course of her prepared talk. "You and that girl have been spending a lot of time together. Wanna tell me about it?"

"Jessie. Her name is Jessie." Ashley cleared her throat. "Yeah, we have. I really like her. She's fun and we get along really well."

"Uh huh." Breanne almost seemed bored.

Realizing that her friend was not really interested in hearing about how well she and Jessie got along, Ashley asked. "So, you wanted to talk to me about something?"

"Yeah..." Breanne shrugged. "Well, Morgan thought it would be a good idea... you know, since the barbeque and all."

"Uh huh."

When Ashley refused to say anymore, Breanne sucked in a deep breath. "I guess I came here to say I'm sorry."

That statement almost made Ashley laugh. "Then I guess I accept your apology."

Feeling slighted, Breanne narrowed her eyes. "I was only telling you the same things I've always said before and you never got so... I don't know why you stormed out actually."

Shaking her head, Ashley offered a slight smile. "I know you don't. And that's part of the problem. But the other part is that I always let you get away with saying things that put me down."

"That's not..."

"Yes, it is. And I've gotten stronger. I take up for myself more now." Ashley finished.

Breanne crossed her arms. "Yeah, every since she became your new best friend."

Ashley inhaled a long, slow breath, letting it out in a controlled manner in order to keep herself calm. "No. Ever since I realized I deserved to be treated better... and that my feelings count. Breanne..."

"What are you saying?" Breanne acted shocked that she was being accused of being insensitive.

"Do you even know the things I like to do?" Ashley asked.

Breanne turned her head away. "What difference does that make?"

With amazing calmness, Ashley stared incredulously at her friend. "I can't believe you just said that."

"I can't be expected to know every little detail. I've tried and tried to get you out on dates and you always find something wrong." Breanne scooted back in her chair. "I'm always looking for you."

"Is that only because you think I can't get anyone on my own?" Those were the words that stung Ashley that day of the barbeque. "And the only reason you wanted me with Shae is that you thought Morgan would finally make a real commitment to you."

"That's ridiculous."

"No, it's not. At first, I couldn't figure it out." Ashley was determined to set the record straight. "I think you thought if Shae and I were together... settled... that Morgan would get the idea. You as much as said it yourself that day, Breanne."

"I can't believe that all the time I was trying to be a friend to you... and now, I'm shocked."

"Then why did you come here? And say you were sorry when obviously you still feel the same."

Breanne refused to answer that question.

"I see." Ashley pushed back her chair. "It was Morgan. She made you."

Breanne jumped up. "You don't understand a thing, do you?"

"Oh, yes, I do." Ashley took Breanne by the arm and led her down the long hallway. "You want to turn this around on me and pretend to be all shocked cause I finally stood up to you. Not this time."

Stepping through the front door, Breanne turned halfway around. "I told Morgan you wouldn't listen. It's all 'her' doing..." Breanne referred to Jessie again. "...but you're too blind to see that."

"Even now, you insist on blaming someone else. In this case, Jessie. She may have helped me see that I deserved to be treated better but it was me that made the decision not to take it anymore." Ashley hadn't forgotten the many occasions they had spent together. "Listen, Breanne, I have appreciated you and Morgan in my life and being my friends. I've enjoyed catching up with you two and I wouldn't be on the soccer team if not for Morgan, but... I've changed."

With that, Breanne gathered up her last bit of counterfeit dignity and left.

There was sadness in the air as Ashley turned, closing the door behind her. Memories of the times they spent together rushed to her mind. While she appreciated them asking her out, most always to the bars, the brunette realized that any time she had made a suggestion to go to a concert or something of interest to her, they were never available. Friendship was a two way street and she had been on a dead end with them. However, Ashley still held out hope that one day they could sort it out and be friends again.

She was anxious the rest of the afternoon with one client after the other at her doorstep. Jessie hadn't called yet and she was beginning to get worried. Not so much about the blonde not calling yet but Ashley was still concerned about her friend's protective and at the same time distant demeanor. Ashley vowed after her last client which went well into the evening, she would make a phone call.

***************************

Jessie was in a 'mood' all day according to Krista. More than once she warned Diane to stay out of the blonde bomb's way. Krista explained to the secretary why she called Jessie that. "Cause she could go off at any time."

Unfortunately, Jessie was in earshot when Krista made that ill-fated remark. Jessie perched a fake smile on her face, gathered her effects and took the rest of the day off.

Neither Krista nor Diane knew if she would be back the next day. The ash blonde for her part felt bad about giving Jessie a hard time. She desperately thought of ways to get back in her friend's good graces. However, Krista realized that Jessie wouldn't hold a grudge. But the ash blonde would think of something to do to make amends.

Behind the steering wheel, Jessie pushed the pedal to the floor and sailed down the open highway. The wind in her hair and the open sky gave her a sense of freedom that balanced against the emotional wall that was now crumbling down around her. The funny thing about it was that the blonde felt a sense of relief. Her heart encased behind a stonewall for so many years now began to open like a rose in the early morning sunlight.

"God, I'm in love with Ashley." She yelled into the wind and the sound echoed under the overpass. It was then she realized that this was the same place she and Ashley had taken refuge against the storm. Jessie whipped the car to the side of the road, shoved it in reverse, and backed up under the highway ceiling.

Cars were speeding pass as the blonde climbed the embankment. She sat down in the very same spot where Ashley had perched herself not that long ago. Jessie looked to the western sky and recalled the raging storm and welling emotions building up inside her.

Her mind traveled back in time to that day as she recalled vividly how safe she felt with Ashley's arms wrapped around her. She was at peace, content and happy. Jessie realized her heart opened a little bit that day when she recalled the words the brunette spoke. Inspiring, mesmerizing, captivating...and powerful. What Jessie didn't realize that day was that even as Ashley was describing the storm, she was also revealing her feelings toward the blonde. And now, Jessie returned those feelings with a full gale force of her own. She smiled. Ashley's the one.

That thought calmed the blonde as she recalled the words Krista spoke to her that very morning. You will always lose by holding back. You will always win by loving.

In that moment, Jessie felt the nearness of Ashley and knew what she had been seeking all along.

***************************

Ashley let the phone ring for the hundredth time. "At least it feels like that."

Out of breath, the blonde picked up the ringing phone only to hear Ashley's frustrated words. "Feels like what?"

"Where have you been?" Ashley was worried and scared. She had tried to reach Jessie by her cell phone and ended up calling Krista. But still there was no sign of the blonde's whereabouts.

"Ashley?" Jessie was too excited to answer the worried brunette's question. "Are you busy?"

"Trying to find you, yes." Although she was relieved to know Jessie was all right, the lingering anxiousness she felt pelted against her nerves.

"Okay, good."

Ashley couldn't believe how cavalier her friend was being. "I take it you're okay."

"Sure I am. Why wouldn't I be?" Jessie's mind had been in full speed going even faster than her car as she raced home in order to call the brunette.

"Never mind." Ashley was too overwrought from the long day and worrying about a missing Jessie.

At first, Jessie had planned to ask her friend to come over but on second thought, the blonde percolated a keen idea. "What are you doing tomorrow afternoon...say about noon or one?"

"Well, I needed to stop by the realtor's office and pick up those papers for our new office then the bank."

"Can we do that another day?" Jessie had completely forgotten.

The anxiousness in her friend's voice made her curious. "I don't see why not."

"So then you're free?" Jessie interrupted the brunette and didn't wait for Ashley to answer her question. "Good, you can go on a picnic."

"A what?" Ashley's mind was spinning, trying to reconcile her friend's dizzying conversation.

"You know, a nice setting, blanket, food and... ants." In Jessie's light mood, she laughed. "But I'll try and keep those little critters away. Oh, and bring Makayla. That can be her job."

"And just where are we going to picnic?"

The blonde thought furiously. As far as she was concerned any place as long as she was near the brunette would suit her. It should be someplace romantic though. Ah! "The lake. It's beautiful." Jessie smiled. And besides I know you love water. Okay, not so much lake water but...

"Jessie?"

"Uh huh?"

"You mind telling me what's going on?" Ashley asked gently, holding her overriding curiosity in check.

"Nothing... exactly. Can't I just want to spend the afternoon with my..." The blonde caught herself before she said 'girl'. "Oh, come on... please."

Ashley had warmed up to the idea from the beginning, but she was a bit reluctant to jump on it after the way Jessie was acting over the last few days. Though one thought pounded her mind and it clenched the decision. I do trust you... implicitly. "Okay. What do you want me to bring?"

"Besides Makayla?"

"Yeah."

"Just you."

"Uh huh." For one brief moment, the brunette thought she was being set up, but quickly tossed that unsubstantiated thought out. "Okay, I trust you."