Write 'Em Cowboy

It took about two more months to finish the first draft of our book. We then took a week off and drove down to Corpus Christi and Padre Island for a much-needed break. Some of Padre is pretty built up, but if you're willing to keep driving, you can eventually find your own private patch of beach. We filled our days with swimming and beachcombing. We filled our tummies with fresh Gulf Coast seafood. We filled our nights making love — sometimes in our hotel, and other times outside on a blanket on the beach, under the stars.

When we got back to Austin refreshed and recharged, we printed out our manuscript and taped the pages up over every surface of the house. We spent a day or two strolling around the house, wandering from scene to scene, and giving ourselves the gift of red ink. Sometimes we'd just mark it up and then let the other come across the changes, but mostly one of us would call the other over and discuss it first.

One time, when I had groused at him over having to fix multiple grammatical errors and then rolled my eyes over a pretty glaring plot hole, he started chasing me around with his red pen, threatening to give me a thorough edit. Giggling, I led him on a merry chase that ended, predictably, in the bedroom. It was the most enjoyable editing session I could remember!

When we were finally happy with our story, we folded all the changes into a final version and emailed it to Betty. A few days later, I got a terse text from her that merely said, "That dog will hunt."

To celebrate, Harry wanted to take me out to a special dinner. It took him a few weeks to arrange the reservations, and he was very secretive about where we were going — he just told me to wear something 'dressy'. He wore a brown jacket, boots, and his dress Stetson. He drove us to a lot over on Riverside where he parked. He then escorted me to a waiting horse and carriage.

The carriage made its way west along Riverside, eventually crossing Barton Creek into Zilker Park. We rolled along to a part of the park I hadn't seen before, and pulled up in front of a grove of live oak trees. I said, "What are we doing here?"

He wouldn't say, just gave me a Cheshire Cat grin.

We walked through the trees and found a table for two awaiting us under a large pecan tree. Paper lanterns hung from the lower branches and illuminated the area around us. As we sat down, a waiter appeared with a champagne bucket and two glass flutes.

"Oh my God, Harry! This is amazing!" I actually felt myself tearing up a little. "This is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me!"

"You're worth it, sugar."

We sat there for a while, sipping champagne, and I thought my life couldn't get any better.

Then Harry snapped his fingers, and music began to pour from unseen speakers. I looked at him, and asked, "Harry? What have you done?"

Sure enough, out of the trees came Betty, followed by Bill and his new bride Marjorie. Right after them came Joe, my parents, Harry's sister Pam, his parents and... the Fleeglemans! At a signal from Betty, they all began doing a flash dance. They meant well, but it looked like the worst Bollywood dance routine I had ever seen!

Harry stood and pulled me to my feet. "Shall we?" He led me into the melée and we danced our asses off for about five minutes. It was wild. It was chaotic. It was ecstatic. And who knew my mom could move like that? My dad was totally digging it. The Fleeglemans were also pretty cute. Barney had a set of robotic moves that suited him, while Doris orbited around him, exuding her unique brand of Central Illinois sultry.

The music came to a climax, and we all finished the dance cheering, with our arms up in the air. As we stood there catching our breath, Marjorie and Pam came over, strewing rose petals about us. Harry knelt down and pulled a small box out of his pocket. Inside was a gorgeous diamond ring — a ring that looked vaguely familiar.

"Portia, I never imagined finding someone as smart, as funny, and as beautiful as you. I fell in love with you the first time we wrote together. That first meeting of our minds absolutely swept me away. Every page that we've written together since then has just made me love you more."

Still holding the ring, he said, "This was your great-grandmother Mathilde Mueller's ring. Your mom told me the story of how it has been handed down, all the way from Bavaria to you. She wanted you to have it."

Oh my God! The tears were forming faster than I could blink them away.

"Portia, dear heart, my collaborator in life. Will you marry me?"

Geez — you'd think that an experienced romance writer like me would be pretty well-inoculated against maudlin manifestations of emotion after pouring them out onto the page for years. But noooo... I wept. I cried. I blubbered. I finally managed to choke out, "Of course I will!"

He slipped the ring on my finger, and I teared up all over again. I pulled him to his feet and smothered him with kisses. He dried my tears and our families gathered around us for hugs and congratulations.

I was still a little wobbly, but I put my mouth close to his ear. I bit his earlobe, and whispered, "And you, you bastard! Ambushing me like that with my own goddamn story."

"Ow!" He rubbed his ear, then kissed me. "No regrets about that. I loved Ranch Rodeo Romance and thought that you deserved a storybook proposal just like that. Betty thought it was an awesome idea, and took over all the planning for tonight, including getting all these folks here. Heck, the Allies could have used her back in '44 to help plan D-Day.

"I'm still gonna get her back," I groused. But I wasn't mad, how could I be? It was a beautiful proposal.

"Uh... I'd worry more about Doris Fleegleman, if I were you."

"Huh? How so?"

"She and Betty and your mom were talking about a bridal shower. I think I overheard her saying something about a marital hardware theme...?"

Oh, shit!

"BETTYYYYYY!!!"

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Thanks for reading this, the beginning of the Adventures of Harry and Portia. Please remember that this is a collaboration, and we do have our own solo projects to work on, but hopefully, we can find time to return to this universe soon.

Trust that we do have lots of ideas! Have we seen the last of Mort? Will Jessie the Cowgirl find true love? Will Lassie ever get Timmy out of the well? Stay tuned.