A Fool and Her Honey

For some strange reason, I couldn't get my key in the lock. Maybe I was still slightly drunk. I concentrated and it just didn't fit. I stomped all the way down to the first floor, to the building manager.

Mr. Colletti, was home luckily. I knocked on his door, and the music stopped and the door opened a crack.

"Mr. Colletti, there's something wrong with my key, I can't get in" I said.

He didn't even open his door all the way, which was unusual, he was one of the most open friendliest people we knew.

"There's nothing wrong with your key miss" he said

Miss?, I wondered.

When did I become, Miss?

"Then why won't it fit in the lock?" I asked in my most polite tone.

"Because the locks were changed at the request of the tenant of record" he said. "And in the middle of the night, I might add"

I couldn't think, I started crying and when he saw this Mr. Colletti just shook his head and closed his door.

I called Bobby again and left a message for him. I told him how sorry I was, and how he didn't understand what had happened. I told him that I loved only him, and that I'd do anything to make it up to him.

Then with no one else to turn to I called my mom. Before she got there I went back up to the hall outside the apartment and changed into some other clothes.

She drove me back to her house, without saying a word. As we got in, I guess the silence was too much for her.

"What did you do?" she asked

"What? A guy you barely know locks me, your own daughter, out of our apartment and all you want to know is what did I do?" I snapped.

"Brenda, your dad and I aren't stupid, we know about the life you used to lead, and even though we only met him once, we really thought that Bobby was the guy for you. He loves you so much and after he called us 2 days ago we just assumed..."

"He called you?" I asked.

"Yep, 3 times" she said. "The first call he just hung up, I guess he didn't remember that with caller ID we knew who he was, but then he called back and it was the cutest thing I'd ever seen. So old fashioned too" she said.

"What was?" I asked.

"Well, he said that he was going to do something for you Brenda. Something that he really was afraid to do, felt really uncomfortable with, but you really wanted it and you'd promised to do anything he wanted in exchange. We were thinking 'oh my God he's gonna make her do something really kinky' but he was calling to ask your Dad's permission to ask you to marry him. Can you believe that? No-body does that any more"

When she said that, I felt the tears well up, and my chest got tight.

"The third time he called, he wanted to show me the ring he'd gotten for you, so I could tell him whether or not you'd like it. You'd have to be crazy not to, what did you think when you first saw it?" she asked.

Then I started crying, and my mom asked me again "What did you do? Brenda please tell me you didn't turn him down. Brenda, I'm your mother, and I love you, but you're not getting any younger. You're cute as hell, but you may never get another offer this good. He's a really nice young man, he's handsome, he's got a good job, and he obviously loves you. That boy really thinks you're something special, why wouldn't you marry him?" she demanded.

My mom's mouth dropped open as if she'd just realized something.

"That's why you've never brought any boys home to meet us" She stuck her hand over her mouth and looked at me and then said "You're a lesbian"

"No mom, I'm not a lesbian, I'm a slut" I answered.

"Then why haven't you brought any guys home? Sluts get lots of guys" she replied.

"Mom they don't want a relationship with me, they just want to fuck me and flee me. Bobby was the first one that wanted to stick around" I said.

"Then why didn't you want to marry him?' she shot back.

"Mom it's a long story, right now I just want to sleep"

I called in and told my boss that I wouldn't be in for a couple of days. I thought I heard laughter in the background as I hung up.

Then I called Bobby and left another message for him to please call me.

I tried calling his job, but the lady who answered the phone asked who I was, and after a moment asked me to leave a message. When I asked her if he was at work she said that company policy forbid the release of any information about their employees.

"But just yesterday you told me exactly which restaurant he was having lunch at, and gave me directions" I said

"It's a new policy" she said then she told me to "have a nice day bitch!" and hung up.

I called Bobby again and left yet another message. Then I tried to go to sleep, but I just couldn't get comfortable. I wasn't used to this bed, and I wasn't used to sleeping without him. I couldn't believe how much I missed him wrapping his arms around me. Finally I drifted off to sleep, but it didn't last long. I dreamed about Rochelle fucking Bobby. I saw him eating her slimy pussy, and then her wrapping her skinny legs around his waist and fucking him senseless while they laughed and threw darts at a picture of me. The picture really exaggerated how big I was too. I kept wondering who takes darts to bed with them. Then I heard my cell phone ring and woke up.

I tried to get to the phone before it stopped ringing but I couldn't find it in time.

I dropped the phone on the bed and it started ringing again.

"Hello, Bobby" I said into the phone breathlessly.

"Nope it's Tina" said the voice.

Tina was one of the women I worked with. She was more of an acquaintance than a friend so I was wondering why the fuck she'd be calling me.

"What do you want Tina" I snapped.

"How are you feeling Brenda?" she asked.

There were crickets chirping in the silence so she spoke up again.

"Well Brenda, seeing as how you've probably broken up with that Bobby guy, I was wondering if you'd be interested in making a trade?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I snapped.

"Well, a girl like you can't be too choosy, so I was thinking I'll give you my brother's phone number, and you give me Bobby's"

I hung up the phone, Tina's brother Matt was married and had 3 kids, 2 of them with his wife, another with one of their teen-aged neighbors, and regularly beat the shit out of both women.

Did every one know about last night? I called Bobby and left another message. This made the 10th one I'd left. I wondered whether he was listening to them and just didn't want to call me back, or if he just hadn't get the messages yet. I called the number for his voice mail service and entered his security pin number. I listened to all of his messages. Most of them were from me, but there were 3 that got my attention. One was a message from the jewelry store that told him that he couldn't return the ring because it had been inscribed, but maybe they could cover the inscription or change it if he found someone new. The next was from one of those skanks he worked with telling him she'd seen him in his office, and she thought he looked like he needed cheering up, so she was asking him out to lunch or dinner, his choice. The bitch even told him that if he chose dinner he could upgrade to the deluxe package that included breakfast at her place for no extra charge. I should walk over there and beat the fuck out of that bitch I thought.

But it was the last message that really hurt me. It was from his mother and she told him that she loved him, and she hoped he'd feel better soon. She told him that she understood what he had lost, but sometimes the best way to get over a bad situation was to start again. Then she told him about some floozy he used to go out with who'd been back from college for a couple of years, and that maybe he should give her a call, when he felt ready.

It seemed like the whole world was ready to write me off. But I was determined to put this behind us, and get him back. I guess this is where I should start putting together my nefarious plan to get back at Phil and Rochelle for what they did to my relationship, but there was nothing I could do. Phil didn't want me because he really liked skinny women like Rochelle. Rochelle didn't care that Phil fucked me because she knew that every once in a while he just wanted to stick it to a big girl for a change of pace. I didn't ever want to see Phil again and sex with him was revolting. It just made me miss Bobby more. I called Bobby thousands of times until one day he just changed his number and I couldn't get the new one. I tried waiting by the apartment but he'd pull away every time he saw me, and they wouldn't let me inside the building. I couldn't get in the building he worked in either. Then one day it happened. I saw the Mustang pull up and Bobby got out. He'd gotten his hair cut, and he looked great. He hadn't seen me yet, and he walked around to the passenger side. He reached in and a girl got out of the car. He took her hand and crushed my heart all in the same movement. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She had long corn flower hair, big open blue eyes, and a smattering (yes god damn it, I used the word smattering) of freckles around her nose. She was thin but had breasts that when taking proportion into account were bigger than mine, and a nice butt also. (maybe I am a lesbian). But the thing that hurt the most was the way she looked at him. She looked at him the way he used to look at me, and he gave her that look right back.

I knew then that it was over between Bobby and me. There was no way I'd ever get him back. That was 3 years ago and I still think about him now. I have a full life though. I go to work, still at the same restaurant chain. I got a bit depressed over Bobby for a while and did pick up a bit of weight. So I'm no longer a hostess, but I'm the best damned dish washer they have. Outside of work I put in a lot of time posting ads on Craigslist. I know that there's another Bobby out there somewhere, I just have to find him. I also moved into an apartment right down the street from Bobby's place. It's not too close because I don't want to be accused of stalking them or anything. Besides with my telescope I can see right in their windows, it's almost like I was there with them. I'm just waiting for that bitch to make a mistake, and she will because she's only human. We can all be fooled or be a fool under the right circumstances, and a fool and her honey, will soon part.