A Fucking Investment Ch. 14

I hesitated but saw Mrs. Lewis striding across the street far down the block, her eyes counting sidewalk cracks. I could not afford her to glance up and see John Sawyer at my door. "Come in but I need to hide you. Mrs. Lewis is coming, I mean that literally, or..." I fumbled for the proper witticism and got nothing. I grabbed John's elbow and pulled him in the door, shutting it behind him.

My mind was a whirl.

Mrs. Grayson strode out of the hall and stopped, her eyes appraised John Sawyer like he was a thoroughbred.

"My, my, Mr. Gale, I do declare. You are just a surprise a minute. Pitcher or catcher?"

John blushed and looked away from both of us.

"Neither." I growled. I could not help it. I was getting crowded and I liked things well-planned rather than flying by the seat of my pants. I was a blind chemist making supper in a strange kitchen right at the moment and I could not afford to do nothing. "Mrs. Grayson, this is John Sawyer. We have discussed his situation. This is Mrs. Victoria Grayson. She is auditing my, uh, investments."

John looked back and forth between us. I felt as though I could read his mind. He was trying to juxtapose the three of us and determine if an auditor made his situation better or worse. Whatever his conclusion, Eve would never have revealed her distress at the shift. I knew the situation but his discombobulation confirmed and reconfirmed it.

The door bell rang.

"Shit. John. I don't think you should be seen, uh by Mrs. Lewis. Do you? Would, would you go upstairs and hide. Use, use Jennifer's room. She's gone." I cursed silently. That would require some explanation but then I felt my back rise up. Fuck if I owed John Sawyer an explanation for the absence of my sex object. Suddenly I knew what I was going to do with Messieurs Covington and Sawyer, whoever wore the pants for real. "I'll come get you when Mrs. Lewis is gone."

The bell chimed again.

"Now. John and for Christ's sake keep quiet."

He nodded and scampered for the stairs like I'd just whacked his snout with a rolled up newspaper. Mrs. Grayson watched him go with a bemused look on her face. When he had mounted the stairs and was nearly out of earshot, she looked back to me.

"I am fascinated to learn what you have in mind for that one. I'll open the door. Best she meet me immediately if I am really going to audit this." She turned to the door.

I watched the stately woman drift to the door and open it. She introduced herself as an auditor, reviewing my investments, including the unquestionable idea that she would be sitting in on the call.

"What call?" Mrs. Lewis asked, scanning the room and finally finding me, she pushed past Mrs. Grayson and approached me. "What is this all about?"

"I have had a, an associate negotiating for your release. He, he says there is a proposal worth consideration. Please go into my office there and make yourself at home. I need to make a call. It is almost time."

Jeri glared at me and her body quivered like she was hooked to one of those fat jiggling machines from the 1970's. I don't know how she could move like that but my eyes zeroed in on her tits, enthralled.

Jeri turned around and disconnected my eyes from her cleavage, and the rest. Mrs. Grayson bumped my elbow with the back of her hand.

"My god, son, you do have a short attention span."

I shook my head. "Hardly. Well. No, no, she just has an incredible body."

Mrs. Grayson looked affronted. "So do I and you don't look at me like that."

I was startled for a moment but I needed to deflect her. I realized we had a logical flaw in our situation and I needed to correct it immediately. I had to put her off. "She is a sure thing, Mrs. Grayson and you are nothing of the sort. If I get your knees open, it will not be anything of the sort of endeavor that doing so with Mrs. Lewis will be. Has been."

Mrs. Grayson stared at me for a moment. She finally nodded and smiled a grim smile. "No. I should say not."

If I saw a crack in her facade, it was gone faster than light reflects off a bald head. "Keep her company, would you. Make sure she doesn't start throwing my files on the floor or something." I didn't have files so that was pure embellishment; not files Jeri could throw on the floor anyway.

Mrs. Grayson, to her eternal credit was not disoriented at being out of control as so many people of power are. She strode into the office and spoke to Jeri with a kind question, sitting down in my sight line and crossing her fabulous legs so I could see them. God, maybe she was right, I did distract easily. Maybe I was getting schizophrenic.

I punched in Crowley on my phone. "Crowley, you can't be on the call." I said in a hushed voice."

"Hi to you too, boss."

"Shut up and listen. Have you thought this through?" I did not mean to insult anyone but I was suddenly nervous. The people Jeri Lewis had decided to go to bed with were not the sort of Teddy Bears I wanted sitting around auditing my business.

"Boss, I have thought this through and..."

"Have you meant Jeri Lewis, Crowley?"

"Of course not. I'd never..."

I waited. It was so obvious I was disturbed we had both missed it.

"Oh fuck a donkey on a raft!" Crowley swore. "If she hears me or sees me on the call, shit, if she compares notes with the other twats...shit. Shit! Shit!"

Crowley could be expressive and abusive; he was about as politically correct as a vibrating dildo at the catechism with a condom on it.

"Goddammit boss, you should fire me for something like that."

"Oh I should?" I hissed.

"Fuck. Just an expression, Alan."

I twitched. He must be really rattled to use that name.

"I'll get a sock puppet, boss. Let me go. I need to hurry. I, fuck a turtle with a jack hammer!" He hung up. If being rude was bad for a career, Crowley would have been scrapping calluses at a geriatric foot clinic. I looked at the time and realized it was time.

I walked into the office and fussed with the computer, glad I only had the little monitor. This was turning out to be more exciting than I had anticipated. Usually when Crowley arranged something like this it went smoothly, like a benediction at a Quaker meeting.

Since I had no idea what had been arranged, I did not know what moving pieces had scraped together, bereft of lubrication. The SKYPE warble intruded on my thoughts and I mentally shrugged. Once you jump out of the airplane, you tend to the parachute and don't worry if the flight you just left is going to be late.

"Hello." I said. "This is Joshua Gale. Who's there?"

"Mr. Gale? Jake Masters here."

"China Pi Ma." A thin, reedy voice said.

"Where the fuck is Crowley?" Masters growled. Clearly he knew this meeting was about to pry his fingers loose from Mrs. Lewis' wrist and by implication, his other hand out from her her impressive skirt. And he did not like it one little bit.

"Mr. Crowley has been detained. Unavoidably detained. I am his assist...associate working on this matter with him. I have intimate knowledge of the situation and can address your concerns, any concerns, if you have any concerns."

"I damn well have concerns and I doubt any slant will answer them."

"Mr. Masters, you will refrain from using any such slurs on this call."

The new voice was calm and reedy like China's was but not female or even feminine but neither was it masculine.

I heard Jake Master gulp, like he'd swallowed a yoyo and it had come back up for the forth time. I did not know the other voice. Jake helped me out.

"Mr. Antonio. I, I didn't know you were going to be on the call."

"You don't know a lot of things, Mr. Masters. You are paid to run our concerns, not to know anything." The voice was clipped but if it had an accent, but I could not place it. "Please answer the questions and ask whatever you want but keep your commentary to yourself."

"Of course, Mr. Antonio."

China cleared her throat, it sounded like a poodle barking. Crowley's sock puppet did not sound particularly imposing. I hoped that did not unbalance a delicate arrangement for Crowley. Getting to this point again would be much more difficult if we had to start all over.

I needn't have worried. I did not doubt Crowley.

"We, Mr. Crowley and, and Mrs. St. James I believe is the other correspondent...is she on the call yet?"

"Jesus, Adele is involved in this?" Masters muttered.

No one responded.

"Mrs. St. James?" China tinkled, her delicate voice barely audible but clear and distinct, unmistakable like an ice pick substituted for a Q-Tip.

"Uh, yes, yes, I'm on. I had my thingy muted. I love gizmos but I always bugger it up when the time comes."

"Mrs. St. James, we have met, I believe." The Mr. Antonio intoned.

"Of course, Miles, how are you?"

Miles? I shook my head. I hoped this wasn't Crowley's idea of a joke.

"Let's get down to business." Master rasped. "I don't got all day."

"I think you do." Mr. Antonio responded and got no response, neither positive or negative.

"Please. Ms. China, proceed. I believe you have a proposal for us."

"I, yes. Yes, we do. As you all know, Mr. Masters has lent a considerable sum of money to a, a Jeri Lewis. She, she has agreed to work at his club in exchange for that loan, including sexual favors at his discretion."

"Is that true, Jake?" Mr. Antonio's voice asked.

"I, well, uh, yeah, yeah, sure. She, she agreed to fuck me as part of the deal. Not the first time I traded money for pussy."

"Spare us the synopsis. Just answer my questions, Jake."

"Oh, of course. Yeah, Jeri is singing and stripping at the club and a couple times a night we fuck. All part of the loan package. Mr. Antonio, I can make up the loan from my cash if..."

"Stick to answering the questions, Jake. Imagine you are on the stand in a court room. Remember what your lawyer always told you?"

"Oh, sure. Don't volunteer nothing."

"Exactly. Please continue, Ms. China."

I grunted, listening but having nothing yet to add. I had heard nothing new. Yet.

"Recently, it seems that Mr. Gale suggested to Mr. Masters that he should charge his patrons for observing Mrs. Lewis having sex."

"Is that correct?" Mr. Antonio interjected.

"Yeah. I, I screwed the, the, I screwed her while Mr. Gale and his buddy watched us. She liked it too, oh, sorry, Mr. Antonio."

"And now, now Mr. Masters is arranging to display Mrs. Lewis on stage, giving her what he claims she wants. He insists that she wishes to have sex on a stage, while she, while she sings and orgasms. Now, Mrs. Lewis does not dispute this..."

"I fucking well do...!" Jeri began but I muted the call on our end and looked at her.

"If you don't want to find yourself on your back with a line of stiff dicks stretching around the block ready to stretch you all out of shape, further out of shape, I'd suggest you hold your counsel till this call is at an end. The main reason you are here is to get both sides of the discussion so you don't have to get it from Mr. Masters or myself, since you would undoubtedly have good reason to distrust our account of the situation."

"What do you mean by further out of shape? I'm as tight as a cheapskate. Ask Jake!"

"Hush." I growled. I pinned her to her chair with my glare till she nodded.

The discussion had continued underneath my voice.

"...only what she asked for. I mean, she begged to screw me and asked if we could charge and add, I mean subtract half to her debt. I told her, fuck no. She, I uh I said she was mine and she'd fucking well fuck me and if I charged anyone, it was mine."

"Mr. Masters, so I am to understand you were going to whore the woman out?"

"What? Whore? No, no, not at all. I, uh, well, it was that guy Gale, it was his idea, you know, to charge people to watch while she, while we, I, while we fucked. What did he call it? High performance art or something."

"Performance art. Please don't sweat on the suede, if you please, Mr. Masters."

"What? What suede?" Jake sounded completely confused. Mrs. St. James did not bother to clarify.

"Ms. China, please continue. I believe you have a proposal."

"We, Mr. Gale's team here, we believe that Mr. Masters is squandering a valuable commodity..."

I shot Jeri a fierce look and she clamped her healthy mouth shut but I swear it made her eyes bulge. I thought to myself that she might have to get used to having a bar code on her ass.

"...in Mrs. Lewis. She, she has a remarkable voice and, well, she has the unique ability of being able to sing and orgasm at the same time. We, well, we think this should be exploited."

"Yes. We have that in the syllabus. What is your proposal?" Mrs. St. James pressed. "Mr. Antonio is a busy man."

"We suggest that we limit her exposure and increase the price."

Masters swore some gnarled curse. "I am charging a grand a dick and half that for a pair of tits to get into to see her show her tits now. Don't go suggesting that I have undervalued..."

"Shut up, Jake." Mr. Antonio hissed.

I thought I detected the slightest lisp in the man's tone. If so and if it was true to form, by that I mean affected, it amused me that Jake was being ordered around by him. Whatever sort of organization Jeri had gotten herself entangled with it did not fit anything from the old country any longer.

"We think Mrs. Lewis should be contracted, through Mr. Gale, to perform twice a month, at maximum, at five thousand per head per show, irrespective of gender."

"Good." Mrs. St. James and Mr. Antonio said at the same time.

"In addition, Mr. Gale agrees to provide a show involving coitus from a variety of participants, and himself, at his discretion, totaling fifty performances over the next six months. He will provide them and design them, also at his discretion."

"Ahem, by that, by 'design' you mean he will mix genders...?" Mr. Antonio asked softly.

"Mr. Gale can cover any combination of females together with himself. Beyond that, no. This is a strictly dick and pussy operation."

It was then that I realized that Crowley must be typing the words into the screen for the girl to read and he lost track and used his actual diction. Dick and pussy operation? I smiled, the fucker. Goddamn, he was posting the Holdingsfield women for exhibition and me with them. I shrugged. Could be worse but managing my identity in such a situation...I left that for another time. My point here was to get Jeri Lewis' bra off and it sounded like Crowley had that arranged.

China continued. "Of course, Mr. Gale will reimburse Mr. Masters for any and all funds Mrs. Lewis has obtained from him for any cause whatsoever, with the understanding that fraudulent claims would be reimbursed with some what different currency."

"Goes without saying." Mrs. St. James agreed.

"Hey. What about the daily dose of high class pussy, I was getting? How do you propose to reimburse me for that?" Masters nearly shouted.

"Mr. Masters, unless the whole outlay was from your pocket, I would say you have been dipping your wick in the company ink." Mr. Antonio said dryly.

"What?" Masters said, almost growling but at the end of the syllable managed to soften his stance as he remembered to whom he was speaking.

"I am willing to provide him pussy." I said quietly. "I have some spare pussy but he will put in a requisition and I will fill it at my leisure. The days of daily pussy provided by Mrs. Lewis are over. She will provide it to me now and I will distribute it as I wish. Luckily, I think Jake has been a perfect gentleman and Mrs. Lewis will have no objection to mount him from time to time."

She glared at me but I did not react, looking back at the baby-blue screen rather than give her the impression she could flash signals at me as relating to anything whatsoever. I ignored her, in other words and if she had an unforgivable sin, that was it. Thou shalt not ignore Jeri; Jeri must be the center of attention at all times. That much I knew with some certainty about her. Just as certainly I had to rewrite her commandments and bend her to my will.

"We will promote the show. We, we have some connections and we'll, we'll...just a moment." China said, stuttering.

I got a text popup using our internal text messaging service. It read: "Boss, can we offer to offset the cost of catering the special events? I am not sure we should suggest that we can bring people to them without ensuring they will live up to the billing. I don't think these people are sophisticated enough to satisfy the people I have in mind, that we have been talking to."

I read the text and understood immediately what Crowley was thinking.

I spoke his answer, since he had to be hearing the proceedings. "I suggest that as part of this arrangement, we plan and execute the events. I'll bear the cost so you have no capital outlays to cover the lead-in costs. We subtract out the costs and then divide the proceeds as agreed."

I waited. I had taken that away from China. It made more sense.

"I think that will be acceptable. All this for a single piece of ass? She must be special." Mrs. St. James spoke with a flurry of doubt in her voice.

I looked at Jeri. "Oh she is." I said. "You have no idea!"

Mrs. St. James grunted. "I am sure I don't. Are we finished?"

"Just a moment," Mr. Antonio interjected. "Frank, you okay with this?"

A new voice joined us. "I am. Mr. Masters, you understand that sex with the employees has been denied you, correct? Including the erstwhile songbird, Mrs. Lewis, I believe?"

"Yes?" Jake's voice rasped like gravel on glass, ugly and jagged.

"Good. Mr. Gale will have your complete cooperation or you will find yourself cooperating with me and we both know that is a poor substitute for actual cooperation, don't we, Jake?"

"Yes." Jake rasped again.

"Jake. There can be no mistaking this. We are not saying one thing and meaning another. You'll end up a fuck toy in the Middle East if you put a toe over the line."

"I get it, Mr. Antonio."

"Good. I just want to be sure your memory is up to the task because I don't want to end up explaining to your Uncle how you ended up flayed and staked to the side of a barn. I am fucking serious, Jake. This is not just pussy. There are other things at issue here, above your pay grade as our President so quaintly put it."

"Jesus. I get it." Jake said. "I, I found her, don't I get something for it?"

"I'll, I think I can keep you amused, Mr. Masters." I interjected. "If you aren't, give me a chance to address it before you include anyone else. Mrs. St. James, Mr. Antonio, that is all I ask, let me have the chance to keep him happy."

"Fuck keeping him happy. Keep him in line."

"Not my business. I think happiness is valuable. Beyond that, I believe you folks have a better talent for that sort of thing." I hesitated. Between you and me, I had forgotten the club name, if I ever knew it. I needed to add on last tidbit and I hoped it would not completely alienate Jake. "One last thing. I'd, I'd like to rename the club." I stopped, waiting.

"To what?" That was Mr. Antonio.

I rolled my shoulders. "Foil."

"Foil? What kinda fucking name is that for a T&A club?"

"Foil, like the epee. Foil. Touche, the Discreet Feat."

"Oh my, that is too clever. Must we be so clever? Really?" That was Mrs. St. James. "Though, it is unique. I think, I think I might like it."

"Any other names. I agree, if we are going to make this change in venue, we need to rebrand." Antonio muttered thoughtfully. "Foil. The Foil. Le Foil et Le Touche, the Discreet Feat."

"Oh, that's better. Not so cutesy. Foil and Touch. Bring your sword, eh Jake?" Mrs. St. James seemed to be having fun.

"Fuck it. Whatever you like is fine with me."

"Le Foil et Le Touche, then. The Discreet Feat it is. I like it."