A Lecture In Sociobiology

If this behaviour is as widespread as I believe it to be, then what we have is effectively the emergence of a new sexual orientation, in addition to hetero and homosexuality. Women who have sexual, reproductive relationships with plants. The history of homosexuality has told us that when a sexual orientation is victimless and highly prevalent, then the communities will find a voice and eventually the taboos will dissolve. I have every expectation that the same is about to happen with women who mate with the Blue Triffid.

At the same time, society itself has to adapt to new experiences. One of the most jarring is witnessing in public the sight of a Rapeflower mating with a human female. So commonplace has this become in some cities that no effort is made by passers by to intervene and 'help'. Again, the growing perception that the women do not need or want help contributes to this. This is unfortunate for those souls who did not mean to engage in sex with a plant, but I believe these cases to be pretty rare at this stage.

All this I will deliver in testimony to the Hague next week in defence of Dr Krocek. Although I believe his unaudited release of a novel life-form into the wild to have been highly unethical, I believe the charges he faces are extremely unjust. The Floris sapiosexualis is a technical triumph of bio-engineering, and has enriched the life experience of millions of women. I thank you for your patient listening, I would like to answer any questions you may ...

... ow! ... oh ....

... oh god ... the contractions. Sorry, I will need to depart at this point. Joanne, could you please shut down the laptop for me. Goodbye everyone!