A Rose by Any Other Word

By the morning I knew what I was going to do.

Alex Summers

The next day at school I was a bundle of nerves and anxiety. I still wasn't sure whether I'd accidentally given the letter to Miss Mitchell or whether I'd simply lost it somewhere around school. Neither option exactly filled me with hope but if I had to choose I'd rather I'd lost it somewhere. At least then there was a chance that no one had seen it, especially not her. I would have stayed home and pretended to be sick but I really didn't want to try and lie to my parents. Plus, I'd have to come to school sooner or later. I couldn't avoid it forever.

I couldn't focus all through my morning lessons, so much so that some of the teachers had noticed my change in behaviour.

"Wake up Alex! What's wrong with you today?" Mr Black had asked me when he asked me to explain the equation that he'd written on the board and I'd stared at it blankly.

At least lunch with Jessica gave me a chance to vent my feelings.

"How are you holding up?" She asked as we claimed our usual table. I groaned in response before slamming my head on the table. "That bad, huh?" Jessica laughed before taking a bite of her sandwich.

I sat up, looking at the pity in her eyes, "I'm really hoping that I lost it somewhere around school. At least then there's a chance she hasn't seen it."

"Do you think that's likely?"

"Not really but it's the only hope I've got." I shrugged, "What do you think will happen if she has seen it?" I looked at Jessica, feeling incredibly worried.

"She'd probably have you moved to another class, but I'm not entirely sure Al, so that's just a guess."

I sighed, "Well that wouldn't be too bad. Sure, I wouldn't be able to look at her every day but at least the distance could help me get over her." I said the last part without conviction. I didn't feel like I'd ever be able to get over her.

"Uh-huh." Jessica hummed sarcastically. She'd caught on to my lack of faith, "I guess you'll find out last period if she's read it or not."

"I'm hoping for 'not'."

"Yeah well, me too but we'll see."

In my lessons following lunch my focus was worse than ever. I kept changing from managing to convince myself that she hadn't seen the letter and everything would be fine, to that she had read the letter and was going to move me to another class and maybe speak to my parents or something.

When I entered the English classroom and saw Miss Mitchell standing at the board, I nearly bolted out of the room if it wasn't for the other students stood behind me.

I walked to my seat, my legs feeling like jelly, that I was about to collapse at any moment.

Miss Mitchell turned and looked at me. There was an emotion in her eyes that I couldn't place but it wasn't what I expected if she had read the letter. Maybe I had lost it around school somewhere.

"Good afternoon Alex." She greeted me with a smile.

"Good afternoon Miss Mitchell." I returned her greeting, feeling more confident that she hadn't read my letter.

Today's class was spent analysing the next scene of Romeo and Juliet, where Romeo goes and asks Friar Lawrence if he will marry them.

"Who can tell me what this passage means?" Miss Mitchell asked the class, pointing to the passage she'd written on the board.

The passage read:

Then plainly know my heart's dear love is set

On the fair daughter of rich Capulet

As mine on hers, so hers is set on mine,

And all combined, save what thou must combine

By holy marriage. When and where and how

We met, we wooed and made exchange of vow,

I'll tell thee as we pass, but this I pray:

That thou consent to marry us today.

I knew what the passage meant, of course, but I was still determined to keep my silence where Romeo and Juliet was concerned, even if she hadn't read my letter.

"Yes, Beth?" Miss Mitchell asked a girl in the front row who had raised her hand to answer.

"Romeo is asking if the Friar will marry him and Juliet." She explained.

"You are technically correct, that is what Romeo is asking but there is more to this passage than that request. Can anyone tell me what Beth has missed? Alex?" She looked in my direction.

I wanted to refuse her, I really did but as soon as her eyes met mine my resolve crumbled.

"Romeo is explaining to Friar Lawrence that he loves Juliet and she loves him." My voice wobbled slightly, so I took a deep breath before continuing. Miss Mitchell's eyes never leaving my own, "He's saying how he'll explain how they met and fell in love to him later, how for now all he's doing is pleading with him, begging him to marry them."

Miss Mitchell was still looking at me intently, a light in her eyes that I'd never seen before. I had the wildest urge to not look away like I wanted to; to meet her gaze and try and tell her silently how I feel about her.

She looked away from me, the corners of her lips turning up in a slight smile before she carefully hid it, or so I thought anyway. Then again, maybe I was simply seeing what I wanted to see. If she'd read my letter I really didn't think she'd be reacting this way towards me. She'd probably want me as far away from her as possible.

We spent the whole of the lesson analysing the rest of the scene and debating on the ethics of the marriage between Romeo and Juliet.

At the end of the lesson Miss Mitchell handed us back our marked coursework from the previous day.

"Please read through the notes I have attached to your work. For your exam you will have to write an essay analysing a scene from Romeo and Juliet and my notes will tell you where you need to improve." She explained as she handed them to us.

I glanced down at my paper and saw a note attached to the front. It read 'Please see me after class.'

I looked up at her, worry clenching my gut. Had she read my letter? She was avoiding looking at me until all of the other students had left the room.

I stood up and walked over to her desk where she was sat shuffling some papers.

"You wanted to see me, Miss Mitchell?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. On the off chance she hadn't read my letter I didn't want to sound like I was guilty of something otherwise she might ask.

She looked up and checked that all of the students had left, before going over and closing the door. She walked back towards me slowly, until she was stood in front of me.

"I got your letter." She said quietly and my eyes widened in panic. So she had read my letter after all. Why was she talking to me about it though instead of having me moved? Did she want to explain that nothing could ever happen first? I'd made it perfectly clear in my letter that I already knew and accepted that.

"I'm so sorry Miss Mitchell. You were never meant to see that." I explained quickly, panic rising in my voice, my eyes on the floor.

"I'll just consider it fate then." She responded, her voice all husky.

I looked at her sharply. I couldn't have heard her right. She'll consider it fate that she got my letter by mistake? What did she mean by that?

She looked me in the eye, a smile turning up the corners of her mouth. Her hand reached out slowly, giving me time to pull away, until it was resting gently on my cheek, her thumb rubbing small circles there. She leaned forwards until I could feel her breath on my lips. It felt like there was an electrical charge between us, making my nerves feel alive.

She stayed there for a moment, looking at me with what can only be lust. My heart soared. She felt the same way about me as I did about her!

I closed the distance between us myself, I couldn't stand the tension any longer. I put my hand on the back of her head, my fingers entwined in her hair, and pulled her lips to mine.

Her lips were so soft against my own and they tasted like strawberries. I felt my whole body light up at this one small touch. A fire had started in the pit of my stomach and it made me feel like I couldn't get enough of her.

I may have pulled her lips to mine but as soon as our lips met she immediately took control. One of her hands was on the back of my head, the other at my waist, pulling me tightly against her. Her lips parted my own and her tongue met mine. I moaned against her, nothing in my life had ever felt so wonderful.

We kissed for a little bit of eternity. A heat rising between us, the likes of which I had never felt before. All too soon she pulled away and I made a whining noise in protest.

"Why did you stop?"

She kept her arms around me, trapping me close to her, "I don't want to stop baby but we can't do this here. Anyone could walk in and then we'd be in big trouble."

"I don't care." I responded. I craved more of her so badly. I didn't want it to stop, not even for a second. I tried to pull her in for another kiss but she placed a hand on my chest, stopping my advance.

"Well I do and so should you." She explained, her voice firm, "If we get caught we'd have to stop. Permanently. I don't want that and I assume neither do you?" She asked and I shook my head vigorously.

"I don't want that." I whispered.

"What time do you need to be home tonight?"

"Normally I don't need to be home until around ten, when my dad gets home. I explained.

"Good. You're coming home with me." When she said this my heart leapt with joy.

Miss Mitchell had a lovely home. It wasn't overly big, I doubted her teachers salary would allow for anything too luxurious but it was beautiful. She'd decorated the living room in a lovely cream colour which made the room feel warm and calm. She had a fire place with a decorative mantle made of a light coloured brick, with pictures stood on top of it. A large flat screen TV was hung on the wall over it and across from it a cream fabric sofa with several light coloured cushions where Miss Mitchell sat, watching me look around the room.

I walked nervously around, admiring the paintings she had on the walls. They were all beautiful landscapes.

"Did you paint these?" I asked, glancing at her.

"No I didn't. My brother did. He's the artistic one in the family." She explained with a small smile.

"Oh." I stood there, still looking around feeling very unsure of myself. I'd dreamt of being here all year and now that dream was a reality I didn't know what to do.

"Come and sit down next to me." She patted the space on the sofa next to her.

I walked over and sat down beside her but I didn't relax. I was too nervous. I sat perched on the edge of the sofa, as tense as a rubber band about to snap.

She laughed softly and reached out to stroke my back, "Relax baby. You have nothing to worry about. I don't bite. Well," She paused, "Not unless you're into that." She laughed again and I tried to laugh with her but it sounded forced.

She sat up straighter and moved closer to me, "Nothing will happen that you don't want to happen." She murmured in my ear, her hand sliding up my back to touch the bare skin at the base of my neck.

Her touch did something to me. I felt heat along the lines she was tracing on my skin and I started to relax, the nerves washing off me. I let out a deep breath I hadn't realised I was holding.

"Better?" She asked kindly.

"Yes. Sorry." I said, chuckling.

"You have nothing to apologise for." She pulled me close to her, until my head was resting on her shoulder with her arms around me. "We'll take this slow, okay? So how about for now we just talk and enjoy each others company?" She kissed the top of my head and I nodded.

We spent the rest of the night talking, getting to know each other better, learning about one another in ways we never had as student and teacher. I learnt that her first name was Caelynn, which I thought was beautiful. I learnt that her brother was younger than her and had real artistic talent but had been struggling to find work in the field. That she'd always had a passion for literature and even wrote her own stories in her spare time. She loved Shakespeare and her favourite play was 'A Midsummer Nights Dream' but also really enjoyed his sonnets.

I also shared details of my own life. That I had an older sister who'd moved out of my parents house a year ago but how we kept in touch and were still really close. How I also had a passion for literature and Shakespeare but my favourite play is 'Othello'. I explained how I didn't write my own stories but really wanted to one day and how I'd love to be a published author. I told her a story about how when I was younger my mum made me and my sister go to ballet lessons but gave up the idea when I managed to trip and fall off the stage and break my ankle.

We also spent a long time in silence, gazing at each other, our lips entwined. She kept true to what she'd said though and things never went further than us kissing. We both kept all our clothes on.

At the end of the night I felt like I was on cloud nine. I felt like we had really connected on a level that sex could never have achieved. I still wanted to get her into bed but us taking it slow and getting to know one another felt amazing.

That night I went to sleep with a smile on my face.

The next day at school Jessica practically pounced on me at lunch.

"Where the hell were you yesterday? We were supposed to meet at mine after school but you didn't show. You didn't answer my texts either. I was really worried Al, I nearly phoned your parents."

"I'm really glad you didn't phone my parents. I don't think it's a good idea that they know where I was." I explained, the giddy smile still playing on my lips.

Jessica caught on that it was nothing bad immediately, "Spill the beans then woman, where were you?" She demanded.

"I was at Miss Mitchell's house." I whispered after looking around to make sure we wouldn't be overheard.

"Holy shit! You came on to her?" Jessica's eyes were wide in shock but she naturally wanted more details in typical girl fashion.

"No, she came on to me." Jessica gasped before I continued, "It turns out that I did accidentally give her my letter."

"And then what!?"

"She attached a note to my coursework asking me to see her after class. I'm not going to lie Jess, I was terrified. I thought for sure she was going to have 'a talk' with me about how nothing can ever happen, blah blah blah, all that crap, before having me moved to another class. When she told me that she'd gotten my letter I tried to explain how she was never meant to see that." I paused to collect myself but Jessica would not be kept waiting.

"And what did she say? Come on Al, tell me everything already!"

"She said how it must have been fate then." I whispered, still not quite believing that last night hadn't been a dream, "And then we kissed."

"You kissed!? Where? In the classroom?" She asked, looking concerned.

"Don't worry, nobody saw us. She did say we'd have to be more careful though, because if we got caught we'd have to stop permanently and she didn't want that."

"She really likes you Al! That's amazing!"

"That's not the end of it. After that she asked me if I'd go home with her." I was smiling like a Cheshire cat as I said this.

"What!?" Jessica demanded, "And did you?"

I nodded, "I did. Nothing happened though. We cuddled and kissed and just talked. We got to know each other. I felt a real connection to her Jess. I think I'm falling in love with her."

"Aww, that's so sweet! So when are you seeing her next?"

"I don't know yet. She said she'd get a message to me somehow." I shrugged. I wasn't going to let anything get me down today.

"Well, I'm happy for you Al." Jessica said before hugging me.

"You're not going to tell me I'm being stupid? I mean," I dropped my voice so no one would hear, "I'm basically in a relationship with a teacher."

"Well. I do think you're being stupid for that." She shrugged, "But the heart wants what the heart wants. I guess you keep it secret until the end of the year and once you leave school you can be together. Properly. Without fear of being caught."

After lunch I decided that I wasn't going to wait for Miss Mitchell to get a message to me. I was going to send her one myself. I had finished my analysis of the last scene of Romeo and Juliet and could slip the message in there for her to see. The question was, what kind of message did I want to send? Just asking, 'When can I see you?' didn't seem right.

I thought about it all through my lesson after lunch and I got an idea. I asked the teacher ten minutes before the lesson ended if I could go to the library because I wanted to look something up. He agreed but told me it would be the only time he granted this request. I ran to the library as quick as I could and found what I was looking for. I wrote it down on a piece of paper and slipped it between the pages of my analysis before making my way to my English class.

As I entered the class room Miss Mitchell looked up and gave me a warm smile, before carefully replacing it with a more professional expression.

"Good afternoon Alex." She greeted me as she usually does.

"Good afternoon Miss Mitchell." I responded, trying to keep my voice from betraying anything as students filed into the room.

This lesson was spent analysing and discussing the next scene in Romeo and Juliet, where Romeo meets up with Mercutio and Benvolio but they get interrupted by the Nurse and Peter who have come to speak to Romeo.

Miss Mitchell wrote a quote on the board and as usual asked if anyone could tell her what it meant. It read:

'Pray you, sir, a word. And as I told you, my young lady bid me inquire you out. What she bade me say, I will keep to myself. But first let me tell ye, if ye should lead her into a fools paradise as they say, it were a gross kind of behaviour, as they say. For the gentlewoman is young, and therefore, if you should deal double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be offered to any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.'

I felt a lot more confident in answering her questions regarding this play now than I did before. I no longer had to fear letting slip in some small way how I felt about her. She already knew. So I raised my hand to answer the question.

"Yes, Alex?"

"The nurse is warning Romeo that if he is leading Juliet on that it would be a very horrible thing to do considering she's quite young and wouldn't be able to tell. She's basically wanting to know whether Romeo's feeling for her are sincere or whether he's simply leading her on. She also has a message for him from Juliet but is keeping it to herself for now." I explained confidently.

"Exactly. Good work Alex." She smiled at me before carrying on with the lesson. Every time she looked at me it felt like my heart had grown wings and was trying to fly away with me.

At the end of the lesson I handed her my coursework, making sure that the note was still with it before leaving school and going round to Jessica's.

Caelynn Mitchell

I arrived home and sat down with a glass of wine, wishing that Alex was here with me again tonight. I hadn't invited her to come around because I was worried about someone noticing if we did it too often. I'd have to be patient. As soon as she left school we wouldn't have to hide any more and we'd be able to be together as often as we wanted. I sighed and fetched the coursework to mark out of my bag. The usual muttering ensued about idiot students who needed to pay attention.

Once I reached Alex's work I smiled. Her work was always concise and easy to read, her handwriting neat. There was very little I needed to correct on her work. As I went to look at the second page I noticed a small scrap of paper with her handwriting on it. I picked it up and couldn't stop my eyes from watering with emotion. Not only was she a good student but she had made the effort to remember what I'd told her about myself last night. I'd had partners in the past who never would have cared about my likes and interests, yet here was an eighteen year old who was putting in more effort than most partners I'd had who were my own age.