A Sudden Change

Of course none of this made it any easier to accept the totally disregard for Ashlee's feelings, but it definitely helped her put everything into perspective. Still, it was hardly a happy perspective and it seemed to open up a pit in Ashlee's stomach that just kept growing the more Macy forced Ashlee to see the reality of her situation.

"So she used me." Ashlee said in a voice that was barely above a whisper when Macy finally paused long enough for Ashlee to speak that Macy almost missed. When she caught it though Macy realized that what she'd just done wasn't exactly making Ashlee feel any better. It was not a happy realization as she had had no intention of crushing Ashlee so brutally.

"She didn't use you, Ashlee," Macy said turning in the car seat to face Ashlee and again placed a hand on her friend's knee. "She just... I don't know. You just got to understand that not every girl is like us. For some girls sex with girls is just fun. It doesn't have a deep meaning to them like it does for us. Naiya loves you, I know she does. You guys have been best friends for forever. She just doesn't love you like that."

With those words the tears once again began to flow from Ashlee's eyes. She knew without thinking about it that Macy was absolutely right, but that knowledge didn't make her feel even a little bit better. In fact, it just made it worse.

"Oh, god," Macy said suddenly as she pulled Ashlee to her once again in the cramped confines of the car. "I'm sorry, Ashlee. I didn't mean to hurt you." At those words Ashlee began sobbing harder as she pulled Macy tightly to her. Instinctively Macy returned the favor as sympathetic tears began to fall from her own eyes. More apologies began to fall from between her lips as she continued to hold Ashlee through her sobs as minutes ticked by.

Gradually the sobs subsided, but they still held each other tightly for comfort and Macy continued to whisper apologies into Ashlee's ears and run her hands up and down her friends back. It was actually a somewhat awkward position, but neither of them seemed willing to relinquish the contact. It was just that was the only good feeling left at that moment. Macy's apologies gradually came to an end, but still they held each other tightly to keep that one good feeling from fading.

Eventually the sobs subsided and the hug became looser, not so needy, until they finally broke apart feeling emotionally drained. For a long, lingering series of moments Macy and Ashlee just sat there in the dark of the car neither of them daring to say a word. Macy was worried that anything she might say would only end up causing Ashlee more pain. Ashlee, however, just couldn't think of anything to say.

Ashlee knew that what Macy had said was true and in a way that was freeing. In another way, though, it just made her feel dumb to think that she'd read more into her relationship with Naiya then was really there. Still, she didn't spite Macy for saying what she'd said. She knew without thinking about it that there had been no spite, no malice in her words. It had just been the cold, hard truth.

"Do you want this?" Macy said in a quiet voice as she suddenly realized that somehow she'd come into possession of what was left of the joint they'd been sharing.

"No, you can have it," Ashlee replied absent mindedly and then, after a long pause added "You wanna go to my house? You can sleep there. My parents won't mind and Tabitha is in Manistee with her boyfriend."

"Yeah... well... I," Macy started to sputter before blurting out "You're not mad at me?"

"What? No. Why would I be mad at you? You didn't do anything. Hell, I'm not even mad at Naiya. Not really, I guess. I just... I don't know. I just feel so stupid right now." Ashlee said, her voice weak, but even.

"Don't feel dumb," Macy said in a caring tone, "Seriously, we've all been through it. It's just something we have to go through. Don't worry about it. You just got to learn that sex and love aren't the same thing. Well, not to everyone anyway."

"I know," Ashlee said softly in a tone that Macy couldn't quite read. "Let's just... come over to my house with me. Please?"

"Uh...okay," Macy said after another brief pause, "But I don't have any clothes."

"We can go get some. I don't mind. I have enough gas. I just don't want to sleep at your house and I don't want to be alone."

"What should I tell Naiya?" Macy asked in almost whisper somewhat afraid that the mention of her step sister might trigger another tearful outburst. It didn't, however. Ashlee expressed her lack of concern over that particular issue and Macy started the car moments later and headed for her house back pack once again in hand to get some clothes.

As it turned out there wasn't much of a need to say anything to Naiya. She apparently hadn't even noticed their absence. Even when she was informed that Macy was going to spend the night at Ashlee's she barely reacted as she was still very much lost in her conversation with Max. Macy actually found herself having to repeat herself loudly to get the message through and even then Naiya merely told her to have fun and failed to show even the slightest awareness over the fact that her best friend had just abandoned her for over an hour and was now going home without even saying good-bye.

Macy couldn't help but feel bit of hatred for her step sister at that point. Well, not hatred exactly, but a deep and repulsive feeling of intense disappointment over her apparent lack of awareness. She also felt a deep pang of sympathy over the broken hearted girl now waiting patiently for her return.

He hadn't been kidding in the car when she said she knew what Ashlee was feeling. She couldn't count the times when she was younger and still very inexperienced when she was in the same place that Ashlee was now. The friendships she'd lost because she'd been foolish enough to fall in love with some girl who was using her to experiment with her sexuality were numerous. Many nights she'd cried herself to sleep all alone feeling like the only girl in the world who felt like she did and even though she'd grown stronger since those early, painful days when she was still dealing with her budding sexuality those memories still pained her deeply.

As she quickly gathered up a change of clothes Macy also felt a pang of guilt deep inside for lying to Ashlee earlier. It was true, Naiya had used her. Sure, Naiya most likely did not see it that way, but that's how it had been. Macy may have only heard Ashlee's side of the story, but if it was even half true it was that Naiya had indeed been experimenting while Ashlee had been busy falling in love and Naiya was old enough and experienced enough that she really should've known better.

Macy's anger continued to well up inside her as she grabbed her backpack that she had stuffed full of far more clothes than she really needed and headed out the door to the small hallway at the top of the stairs. She was a mere five feet from Naiya's door and a part of her wanted nothing more than go back in there and give Naiya a piece of her mind. Another part of her knew, however, that nothing good would come of that. Still, she did find herself pausing there outside of Naiya's door for several seconds listening to Naiya drone on endlessly about nothing in particular to Max before she found the strength to head on down the stairs.

When she got to the car Ashlee said nothing, but smiled weakly as if she somehow feared that Macy might not have returned. Macy smiled back and hopped back into the driver's seat of Ashlee's car and started the engine with a simple "Ready?" that was responded to with only a nod then they were off to Ashlee's house.

There were not a lot of words spoken between them on the ride to Ashlee's house and the silence remained uninterrupted as they made their way to Ashlee's room. There seemed to be an unspoken agreement to just silently end their emotional night together with nothing more than a long, well earned sleep. Ashlee in particular seemed emotionally spent to the point that when they finally made it to her room and locked the pathetic little button lock behind them she merely kicked off her shoes and immediately headed right for her bed.

Macy had no complaints. She too was tired and had no illusions that this was to be a fun, happy-go-lucky sleep over. She was there for one reason and one reason only, to provide comfort and company for her friend. If that meant just sleeping beside her so that Ashlee knew was not alone that was fine with her. If meant staying up all night talking that would've worked, too. It didn't matter. She was there because Ashlee wanted her there.

So when two minutes after Macy had laid down next to her Ashlee rolled over and asked Macy with a somewhat sad face and a quiet, almost girlish voice if she would cuddle with her Macy agreed without even having to think about it. When Ashlee insisted that they do it face to face Macy also acquiesced without a second of pause. Even when Ashlee looked her in the eye and smiled at her weakly she could only smile back lovingly glad to be a comfort to her heart broken friend. When Ashlee made it clear that she wasn't quite as ready to go to sleep as Macy had previously thought Macy just couldn't find it with in herself to say no.

"I really missed you, Macy," Ashlee said in that soft, sad voice that tore at Macy's heart.

"You make it sound like I was on Mars for a year or something," Macy said, smiling weakly while softly stroking Ashlee's back in a comforting manner trying vainly to lighten the mood.

"Well, I did miss you though. I didn't really know it until tonight, but I did," Ashlee said and then paused "Does that sound weird?"

"Yes, a little bit." Macy said, laughing lightly both out of true amusement and because suddenly she was beginning to feel more than a tad nervous about the way Ashlee was looking at her as they held each other on top of the covers of Ashlee's bed. There was something in her eyes that worried Macy a bit. Something that also drew her in. It was something she'd seen before in other girls eyes and she usually welcomed it. Now, however, the realization of what she was seeing in Ashlee's eyes stifled her laughter a bit and made her smile falter briefly.

"It's true though," Ashlee said her voice somehow even quieter, barely above a whisper. She then paused briefly, but Macy could tell there was something going on in her head.

"What are you thinking?" Macy asked, her voice even softer and quieter than before. Ashlee's hands were now returning the soft caresses of Macy and this only made Macy more worried about what was going on in her friends head. The fact that Ashlee didn't answer her right away didn't help calm Macy's nerves one little bit.

"I don't know," Ashlee said after a long pause, but Macy could tell it was a lie even before Ashlee continued and made it clear that she was definitely thinking something. "I just... I don't know. I just really did miss you. I wish you... I... I don't know."

"What don't you know?" Macy asked after swallowing a lump that had formed in her throat. "You can tell me."

"You won't get mad at me?" Ashlee replied, her eyes looking authentically worried even as she edged herself just ever so much closer to Macy until Macy had to move her head slightly to the side to avoid rubbing noses with her friend and she was distinctly aware of the fact that Ashlee's soft breasts and hard, little nipples were pressing against her own. It felt good, but that didn't make it feel right.

"About what?" Macy replied. Just that simple, two word response was much more of a struggle than it should've been. Macy could already sense where this was all going, but she was deeply conflicted. She'd never let it show before, but she'd been attracted to Ashlee for almost as long as they'd known each other, but had always considered Ashlee too good of a friend to try anything with her especially while Ashlee was still a virgin for reasons that were obvious. Now, though, the virginity excuse was no longer valid, but the fact that barely an hour earlier Macy had held her friend as she cried over the loss of her innocence and, quite possibly, the end of a friendship ruined by the very thing that had held Macy back all this time.

Macy was only eighteen, but she was mature enough to know that she was walking a fine line here. The feel of Ashlee's body was nice, the soft caress of her friends breath on her face, the way Ashlee's hands softly glided across the thin material of the t-shirt she wore as a pajama top was more than a little alluring, but she didn't want to be Ashlee's rebound nor did she want Ashlee to be hers. Still, as these thoughts raced through her mind Macy wasn't even certain that anything was actually happening. Was she reading into the situation because that was what she secretly wanted? Was this all really just nothing more than an innocent conversation tainted by Macy's own emotional turmoil and desire to be loved? She had no idea and that was worse than anything until Ashlee answered her question in both worst and best possible way.

"I really want to kiss you right now," Ashlee said after what seemed like forever, but what had really been a mere handful of seconds. Macy's heart seemed to stop and then jump in to her throat. Macy knew she had to respond and even she even knew how: with a kind, but emphatic no. The sweet, somewhat sad, but somehow alluring look in Ashlee's eyes wouldn't let her. Her voice was gone, and she couldn't move until Ashlee spoke again after a short pause and said "Please let me."

It was so oddly stated, but at the same time so innocent and sweet that Macy just couldn't make herself say no even though she knew she should. That sweet, innocent little plea told Macy that Ashlee too was conflicted, also driven by the same inner turmoil that was churning inside of Macy. The only difference was that Ashlee seemed more than willing to ignore that conflict and act on the desire that was building with every passing second and, taking her friend's silence as permission to do as she pleased, it was Ashlee who closed the small distance that remained between them and kissed Macy softly and with love. With that wonderful initial contact reason was pushed from Macy's mind and she was lost to the moment.

The kiss was so soft and gentle at first that it almost didn't feel real. It was somewhat timid, almost meek, but that somehow made it that much more intoxicating for the both of them. It was as if it reflected their mutual fear, the worry that was definitely shared between them, but so was the need. The need to share this intimacy, this sweet, little kiss despite the inner conflict that Macy had felt in particular, but as the kiss continued that inner conflict continued to dissipate and took with it the timidity of the kiss.

In the calm, dark silence of Ashlee's room the two close friends began to kiss each other deeply as the fear slowly began to give way to passion. The soft caress of lips pressing against lips began to give way to soft explorations of their tongues seeking each other out, tracing the other's lips while Macy's and Ashlee's hands began to find their way under each other's thin clothing to caress the skin beneath more directly. Just gentle touches, nothing overt or daring at the time, but the more they touched the more they wanted to touch as they held each other close and remained on their sides facing each other in their embrace.

For Ashlee this kiss was simply wonderful. It was both a comfort and something she both wanted and needed very much. Not that she had planned it or anything. No, not when she asked for Macy to come home with her or even when she asked her to cuddle had she really and truly thought of doing they were now doing. It had been the feel of Macy's body against her own that had brought the need to kiss Macy to the forefront of her.

Not that this very thing hadn't entered her thoughts before, but she just never thought it possible. Even when her well founded suspicions about Macy's sexuality were at their zenith Ashlee had never allowed herself the luxury of actually imagining the possibility that someday she might end up in exactly this situation even though she'd imagined what it might be like many times alone in the dark or in the shower during private moments. Those guilty moments of selfish pleasure, however, were nothing compared to the reality of this simple and beautiful kiss which was quickly becoming much more.

It was Ashlee who started to push things a little bit further. Not all that unusual since it was she who initiated the kiss in the first place, but still it was somewhat out of character for her from Macy's perspective. Not that Macy minded as she felt Ashlee slowly begin to assert herself by urging Macy onto her back. In fact, she found herself acquiescing gratefully despite any trepidation she may have had earlier. A small part of her was actually proud to see her usually passive friend displaying a much more aggressive side of herself. A larger part of Macy's mind however was focused on the fact that Ashlee's hands were no longer gently caressing Macy's back, but were instead at that moment sliding up the front of Macy's t-shirt with only one possible destination in mind.

When Ashlee's hand found its way to one of Macy's small, soft breast Macy couldn't repress a quiet, satisfied sigh from passing between her mouth to Ashlee's that accidentally resulted in temporary parting of their lips. The break was short and soon they were back to kissing each other, but with renewed passion as Macy's began to return the soft caress by seeking out Ashlee's breasts. Their t-shirts were quickly bunching up under their arms as their young, firm bosoms became exposed to the night. It was a tad awkward, but neither minded. They were far too busy enjoying each others touch to worry about that relatively slight discomfort.

Eventually, however, as their kisses began wander the state of their t-shirts started to become a nuisance. Again, somewhat to Macy's surprise, it was Ashlee who made the first aggressive move pulling Macy's shirt off in a manner that actually made Macy laugh. Ashlee, smiling a little herself, then quickly removed her own t-shirt before kissing Macy softly on the mouth briefly until her kisses began to meander in generally downward direction.

Macy was quickly learning that she greatly underestimated her friend. Not that she was wasting a lot of thought on it as she enjoyed the feel of Ashlee's nips and kisses on her neck, but there was definitely a part of her that was deeply impressed. Ashlee's touch was just perfect. Her kisses were tender, but passionate. Her fingers and hands caressed Macy's breasts with just the right balance between gentle and firm. Macy's nipples were already almost painfully hard and Ashlee had barely even touched them nor had even come close to taking those erect, sensitive nubs into her mouth.

Macy's pussy was also already very much aroused, but that was hardly a surprise. Still, she was much more aroused then would've ever thought possible. The thought that a small part of her had almost rejected this turn of events was almost repulsive to her. Though they were still barely at what most would call second base Macy somehow knew that this night was going to be an eye opener in more ways than one.

As these thoughts were trying in vain to make their presence known to Macy she was busy being distracted by Ashlee's kisses slowly, but surely easing their way towards Macy's breasts until, after what seemed to be an eternity of anticipation, Ashlee's soft lips and agile tongue were softly caressing a hard, turgid nipple much to Macy's delight. After that those thoughts that had been banging away at the back of Macy's mind quickly vanished as did most others while Macy quickly discovered that Ashlee had learned quite a bit about making love to women in her short time with Naiya. Again, Ashlee's oral caresses proved to be just about perfect and Macy quickly found herself softly sighing her approval as Ashlee's mouth pleasured her eagerly.