A Town Without Honor Ch. 04

I shrugged. "I don't know. I did my best. That's all I could do. Whatever it was, I guess it wasn't enough."

"What was it you did, in your business?" Uncle Luke asked.

I explained the concept behind Honor Energy, high efficiency energy saving central controls for higher end homes. Thermostatically controlled vents, pressure sensors for leaky ducts. Tie-ins to solar and geothermal power solutions, including solar water heating. Smart control panels, with learning software to adapt to the owner's preferences. A smallish niche market where we did very well in the northeast and were just starting to make some inroads nationally.

It was nice to see they understood, for the most part. It started an energetic conversation about the different needs for different regions, and how we handled it. Ties to government grants and local energy subsidies and tax-breaks. How they would apply differently in different provinces of Canada.

We were still digging into the details when we were called in to dinner.

I didn't have much choice in what I ate. Jane loaded up my plate for me, with a bit of everything, and a few things I didn't recognize. The taste was strong, the salt beef and cabbage overpowering. It was good, but it appeared to be nothing less than ambrosia to those around me. My manners had been impressed on me enough to make sure I commented on how wonderful everything was and to ask about the items I was unfamiliar with.

Uncle Luke was beaming. "Bet you never ate nothin' like this, back where you're from. Shame that, what you've been missing."

"Bit like a boiled dinner you can get at the diner, with more ingredients, and the salt beef instead of corned beef."

Darrel's wife, Anne, spoke up. "Lot of people round here optin' for corned beef these days. Make the Jiggs with little more than cabbage, potatoes and carrots. Real shame, barely a shade of the real thing."

I was filled in a little more on relationships, who belonged to whom, where they lived, where they worked. Uncle Darrel was one of the fortunate few who had a crabbing license, after the cod embargo, and he made a good living at it, along with his sons, a brother-in-law, and a nephew or too. His daughter Lena's husband worked with him. I understood his opinion on being a boss a little better.

Most of them were second cousin's, my father's first cousins, and second cousin's once or twice removed. It was too complicated to figure out. I figured if they were my father's generation, they were uncles and aunts, if they were mine, they were cousins. The younger ones, I didn't worry about.

After the dinner, we retired back outside. I was surprised that almost a third of them smoked. A lot of Newfies smoked. At $8.00 a pack it was an expensive habit. I was offered a smoke, then a cigar. Even a pipe by Uncle Luke. I had to explain I'd never used tobacco of any type.

"Smarter than you look," Uncle Luke teased.

We had a good half-hour before the women joined us. As they came straggling out, more chairs were dragged out of the garage. I offered up my chair, one of the better ones, but Nanny would have none of that. "First time in my home, you think I've no sense of how to treat a guest? Next time, you'll fend for yourself," she said with a smile.

Talk turned to politics for a while, losing me, then broke into a few separate pockets of conversation. Jane had maneuvered her chair next to mine, opposite Uncle Luke. "Honest now, what did you think of dinner?" she said softly, leaning over the arm of my chair.

"Good. Some of it was a little odd to me, but I enjoyed it. Enjoyed the company better."

"Comfort food," she said. "Like fish and chips, flipper pie. You'll get used to it. In time you'll come to love it."

Her voice dropped lower. "They grill you about last night?"

"About drinkin' like I did?"

"About where you slept," she murmured, blushing.

"Not a word."

She grinned. "Lucky you." She took a long sip of her beer, and I noticed she was already a little tipsy. I wonder if the grilling had gotten to her.

I was a little surprised when the neighbors came by, dragging over their own chairs. I got a brief introduction as our crowd grew to more than 20 people, not counting the small ones, who seemed to be running about on the back of the property.

I was less surprised when a couple of guitars, an old ukulele, and a squeezebox were brought out. One of the guitars was stuck in my hands.

"Time for the Runner and Waiter show," Jeff laughed.

The name confused me for a minute, until he nodded toward me, "The Runner," then toward Ronnie, "The Waiter." I'm sure my face turned as red as Ronnie's.

We sang a few Newfie tunes and some of the more popular songs. I was taking it easy, no cheatin' songs for once. I was in too good a mood to go down that path.

My turn around the circle, Janie asked me to sing her song. Your Song, which until a couple of days earlier had always been Beth's.

I got a poke in the ribs when I hit the power chords and started singing

♫ Janie's got a gun. Janie's got a gun... ♫

I earned a laugh from the crowd before I started the song she wanted.

When I finished she sang an Irish tune, in honor of her grandmother, I figured. Not another Gaelic one, she sang Four Green Fields, a sad song I'd heard before.

Second time around, I was cajoled into playing Bon Jovi's Wanted Dead or Alive again. I guess it was a hit in the bar the other night. Janie was acting odd, and passed on singing, shaking her head adamantly until they left her alone. It was a shame. She had the best voice there, by far. Instead, she seemed determined to pound down a few more beers. I was worried about how they'd affect her, weighing all of a buck-ten, soaking wet.

Everyone seemed to be having a good time, although I saw more than a few worried glances cast Janie's way. Next time around, I tried to pick up her mood a bit. I turned to face her.

♫ It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear.

She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair.

And then she asks me, "Do I look all right?"

And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight." ♫

I realized I might have overdone it when I was singing the end of the chorus.

♫ ... And the wonder of it all

Is that you just don't realize

How much I love you. ♫

Her eyes teared up, and I felt a moment's shame. Like I was leading her on. Luckily, it was a popular song, and I wasn't alone singing it.

She stood when I was finished, with a determined look on her face. She walked over to Ronnie, a bit unsteadily. She whispered to him, and he shook his head. I almost laughed when she grabbed his shirt in her fists and growled something into his ear. He finally nodded, and I thought he looked embarrassed.

She turned around, a mischievous smirk on her face, staring at me. Ronnie counted down, whatever they were playing. One ... two ... one-two-three ...

♫ Hey! Hey! You! You!

I don't like your girlfriend!

No way! No way!

I think you need a new one

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I know that you like me ... ♫

She was dancing around, as if she was in the Avril Lavigne video, extending her arms, pointing her fingers at me. I saw the looks of surprise and shock on the faces around. I'm certain my face was beet red.

Janie ended, holding onto the arms of my chair, singing into my face.

♫ ... You know it's not a secret

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I want to be your girlfriend. ♫

She stood up smirking, and gave me a little curtsy, before taking her seat again.

The place had gone dead quiet. I heard Jeff suddenly laugh loudly. He sang, poorly I might add:

♫ I guess it's not a se-cret! ♫

That got quite a few chuckles. Her mother, Mary, stood up and took Jane by the hand. She pulled her upright. "Mary Jane Chafe! This way."

Jane looked over at me, rolling her eyes, grabbing her beer before she could be dragged away and read the riot act.

As soon as she was in the house, a regular Babel of sound ensued. There was laughing and teasing. Nanny seemed oblivious. "I thought it was a fun song," she said.

Ronnie was apologizing. "She had me by the short and curlies. Sorry 'bout dat."

Uncle Luke was givin' me the stink eye. "She's not the kind of girl to be trifled with, Honor," he said simply.

I felt like I'd been publicly flogged. "No, sir. I ... I wouldn't do that. She's special, you know. She's made me feel better than I have in months. There is something between us, but we've both been clear that it can't go anywhere. Not yet. I have a wife, even if she is a cheating slut. I have children, responsibilities. Maybe someday, if I can ever clean up the mess of my life, but for now we're just friends."

I noticed several people were paying a lot more attention to what I was saying than I cared for.

Uncle Luke wasn't done with me. "I'm not so sure she feels the same way. She wears her heart on her sleeve, and she's been hurt before. Don't do it, Honor. Don't break her just because you can. She's better than that. She's the best of us. She deserves better, God knows."

His sincerity wounded me. "I'd never want to hurt her, sir. Just the opposite. I'd do anything to avoid that. At the same time, I can't deny she's only the second woman in my life I've had these kinds of feelings for."

The noise was picking up, and Ronnie seemed determined to make up for his contribution to the mess, by starting up some playing again. Uncle Luke just nodded. "I know you'll do right. I've said my piece."

I'll do right. Isn't that what it always comes down to?

Uncle Darren took over Janie's seat when she didn't return immediately. I was starting to figure out the relationships. It turned out he was Jeffery's father, and his brother, Darrel, was the father of Lena, who was part of my welcome group after my first morning waking up at Diane's house. It was all pretty confusing.

Darren was interested in talking about my company again, and we soon had an animated conversation going. Jeffery, Darrel, and Young Luke were arguing the benefits, especially in northern climes. They didn't think the savings were worth the investment.

"Think all you want. Over sixty percent of my business comes from states that border Canada. A third of our international business comes from Scandinavian countries. Not only do most homes recoup their investment in less than seven years, but with tax breaks, it's often five or less. Even more important than efficiency is the fact that it's effective. Homes are more comfortable," I argued. "I've got the numbers to prove it if you want to see."

Darren felt otherwise. "Nobody wants to spend thousands of dollars today in order to get it back ten years from now. There's no vision. It just doesn't work that way."

I nodded. "In part you're right. That's why I mostly work with builders. Luxury homes and upscale planned communities are where I do best. The cost gets rolled into the mortgage, and the savings last forever. Over the life of a thirty year mortgage, the savings equal five times the investment. It's a no brainer."

Of course, the conversation turned to the inevitable. Competition. "If it was that good, why isn't everyone doing it?" Young Luke asked.

I grinned. "More will be soon. I have several patents, without which the efficiency would drop by a third, making it ten years or more to pay for itself. I've just sold one of those to a Fortune 100 company, so I imagine you'll be hearing a lot more about it."

"That sounds like suicide," Darrel said. "It's like me selling off my favorite crabbing spot. Sure, you'll make a few bucks, but where are you afterward?"

"What if you had a much better crabbing spot? Bigger, sweeter and lots more of 'em?" I teased. "Would you mind selling off your old one, for a check in the millions?"

That started the discussion on my new patents, which of course led to the fact that I'd walked away from my old company, without giving them over. By then, I'd finished off two more beers, and I wasn't holding much back.

"They had it made. A monopoly. Best pay and benefits in the business. But they decided to screw me over. I don't take betrayal well. Let's see how they do when they have to compete on even ground, without me paving the way, inventing new solutions, finding new customers, and ensuring the quality of our product was the best in the business. They're on their own now."

"You're talking families, Honor. What did you say, more than two hundred people? You're just going to abandon them?" Darren asked, looking concerned.

"You don't get it. They abandoned me. Chose her over me. All but a handful of the people who worked for me knew what was going on. I could have destroyed them. I didn't. I gave them the business. Everything. They have the product and the customers. A strong brand. They won't have it easy; I'm not there to babysit them and feed them with a silver spoon. They're going to have to work to stay competitive. It's up to them now."

"But without the patents ...," Jeffery said.

"They had six weeks' notice. They could have built up a two year inventory of the critical boards. Plenty of time to find some new way to be competitive. It's up to them."

Uncle Luke was listening without adding much. He did then. "You don't think they will, though, do you? Honestly, how much time do you give them?"

The crowd quieted. "Six months as they were going. Six months before they'd have to start laying people off. Four months if they don't take the advice I gave them when I left. Maybe a year, if they do everything right. From what I hear, it's more likely four months, than a year. It's already been over two months, and it's not looking good," I explained.

"And then?" Uncle Luke asked.

I shrugged. "They fold. Fifty people unemployed, three local businesses lose their biggest customer, and ten million less being pumped into the community every year. Pretty costly choice on their part."

"But you could stop it," Darren said.

"I could, but at what cost? I worked my ass off for them, and what did it get me? I gave them everything I had. I don't have anything left to give. They destroyed me. Look at me now, drinking beer a thousand miles from home, because I can't stand the sight of them. Even my mother, damn it! My own mother covered up that slut's cheating! No, I'm not willing to make the effort it would take. What's the upside? They're rewarded for betraying me, and I get back on the soulless treadmill and spend my life working for a bunch of ungrateful traitors. Fuck 'em!"

I felt a pair of arms slide down in front of me, from behind. "Leave him alone! You don't know half the story. They don't deserve him." Janie said, her head appearing next to mine.

Uncle Darrel nodded. "We're not faulting him, Jane. It's hard to imagine what it would be like to stand in his shoes. But it's family. How would you feel if everyone at the party the other night was unemployed overnight? Everyone. And it's even bigger than that."

"When's the last time you spoke to Uncle Bill?" Jane snapped. "How about the blowup you guys had over selling the pond property? That was over a few dollars. How about when Uncle Tom wanted to buy into your boat? Since when is family all that matters?"

"They had other options. It wasn't their entire livelihood."

"So do his people. He gave them a chance. Gave them the business, and almost all the money. He deserves to be happy, don't you think? Would you want to spend your life helping people who betrayed you? I know I wouldn't!" Janie argued.

The conversation took a tangent at that point, and she came around and sat on the arm of my chair, her legs across mine, her arm around my neck. I put my arm around her waist. Everyone started talking about happiness, what it meant, and how you chose your own happiness.

I don't know if I agreed with them. Too many other people have input. If you wanted to control your own happiness, you couldn't afford to let anybody else in your life, certainly not in your heart.

A few of the people started saying their goodbyes and our crowd dwindled. The neighbors moved on and the grandparents moved indoors, but not before I could thank them again for the dinner.

In the end, there were only about eight of us left outside, telling stories, enjoying the cool night air. Janie had moved off the arm of the chair, and onto my lap, cuddled into me for warmth. I looked up and saw one of the brightest falling stars I'd ever seen.

"Did you see that?" I whispered to Jane.

"Make a wish," she replied, closing her eyes.

I didn't know what to wish for. More nights like that one. To be with my kids again. To turn back time. In the end, I made it simple. Happiness, I thought, I wish to be happy again.

"It's getting late," I told her. "Are you ready to go?"

She chuckled. "Nanny would skin the hide off of every last one of us if we let you drive. She's taken a likin' to you, Honor. You've got the family room couch. We do have to get up pretty early; I've got work to go to in the morning."

With no pressing timetable, we hung out a little longer, watching for falling stars, and talking about dreams, the future, things we wanted to do. When there were only four of us left, we called it a night. I was shown my way to the couch, stripped off my shoes and socks, and had little doubt I'd sleep soundly. My belly was full, and I'd had more than enough beers to knock me out pretty quickly.

I woke, crowded, with Jane's back to me and my arm asleep where she was resting her head on it. I pulled her close, turning my head to get her hair out of my face, and pressing my cheek to hers. I was embarrassed to have a raging hard-on, pressing against her soft bottom.

"Mmm," she purred, grasping my arm in hers, and wiggling back against me.

"G'morning, beautiful," I whispered.

"Shh. Just a little longer," she mumbled.

I heard movement in the house. We were in a room four steps down from the main level, and the light was streaming in through the windows.

"You gonna get in trouble for being here?" I asked.

I felt her stiffen up. "Crap. I just came down to say goodnight, after I peed."

I laughed and let her go. She turned and gave me a quick kiss. We weren't alone in the room, Ronnie was on the other couch, and Jeffery was snoring in the fully reclined arm chair. Jane took a quick look around and tip-toed away. I wondered where she was supposed to be sleeping.

I was fully awake by then and sat up, slowly putting on my socks and shoes. I arranged the pillows, folded the blanket, and went in search of the bathroom. As soon as I made my appearance, I was greeted and I almost laughed. There was no way that Janie made it through there without being seen.

Nanny appeared to be in charge of the kitchen. She was at the stove, scrambling up what must have been a dozen eggs. I moved in behind her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Morning, Nanny," I said.

She gave me a grin, then a smack with her spoon. "Sit. Grab something to drink."

The table had only a few people sitting there. Uncle Luke, and either Darrel or Darren, I wasn't sure which. Anne was hovering nearby, so I figured it was likely her husband Darrel. A plate with a scoop of eggs, two pieces of toast, and a sausage link was placed in front of me. Uncle Luke looked like he was eating leftovers from the previous night's dinner. I poured myself a cup of coffee. Uncle Darrel(?) pushed a bottle of aspirin my way. I shook out three, thanking him.

I guess he was still thinking about our business conversation about the night before. "You have that patent of yours. You thinkin' about starting over on your own?" he asked.