Appreciating Mother

I smiled. "You certainly will! Honestly, mum, you took my breath away. You are totally gorgeous and I never noticed before. What is that all about?"

She giggled again. "Nice to know I can still pull the odd surprise out of the wardrobe," she said.

The cab got us to the restaurant in good time. I had called a few friends and got a few suggestions of good restaurants. I had then phoned around to see which ones had a dance floor and music. I'd never been to The Oaks before, but I had heard of it, Like the place we had gone at my birthday, this was supposed to be a pretty classy establishment. I was gratified to see my mum's eyes widen when she saw where we were going.

"Honey, are you sure?"

I offered her my arm, which she took. "I suppose we could go to KFC instead, but there will be a queue at this time on a Friday evening. I reckon we're stuck with this. Sorry."

Mum laughed and allowed me to escort her inside.

Our table was in a nice quiet corner but with easy access to the dance floor. Music was provided by an elegant middle aged lady at a grand piano. We ordered wine and perused the menu. I suppressed a chuckle as I scanned the prices. Dad may not see as much change as he'd hoped from his £200. After we ordered our food I gathered my courage about me and stood up, offering a hand to my mum.

"As it's a slow tune I thought you might be willing to risk crushed toes again," I said.

My mother beamed up at me and got to her feet. She shed her shawl and we moved out onto the floor. I'm afraid my technique hadn't improved, but I hoped that it was the thought that counted. Mum searched my face as we danced in our slow, unimaginitive circle.

"Andrew, I really don't know what to make of you," she said. "You're a lovely young man and I've always been proud of you. You never been a rebel or a pain in the bum. You do fine at school... I just don't understand the sudden change. Why you've suddenly taken to paying me such a lot of lovely attention. It's just a little bit weird."

I must have looked alarmed or upset. I certainly almost stumbled.

"No, don't get me wrong," Mum said quickly, tightening her arms around me. "I'm most certainly not complaining. I'm very, very happy with our new closeness..." She hesitated. "In fact, I think I am only just now starting to realise how happy it has made me. My goodness..." Her eyes filled up and she pressed her face against my chest. We danced for a couple more minutes and by the time we returned to the table, Mum had regained her composure.

A couple of times as we ate and chatted I found myself gazing at my mother's cleavage.

"Think it's too much?" she asked, looking down at her chest. "I usually keep them under wraps." I felt my face redden. Damn, she had noticed me looking.

"Sorry, mum. I... I'm just not used to you looking like that. And no, I don't think it's too much. You are beautiful. You are really beautiful."

"And you are a handsome fellow," Mum said. "I know you hate dressing up, so I really appreciate this."

"Well," I said. "I'll do it for you, but no one else would get me to wear this stuff."

"Hmm. Perhaps if you knew how good you looked..."

"What?"

"Well, I think you'd find it impressed the girls if you made an effort more often. I don't want your head to swell, honey, but you are exactly what a lot of girls dream of: tall, dark, handsome and and a natural gentleman."

"So much for not swelling my head," I laughed.

We decided to have one more dance before dessert. Between tunes I went over and asked the pianist if she would play another slow number. She smiled and nodded. Our "dance" was basically a long hug set to music.

As we left my mother stopped on the step above the one upon which I stood. This brought her a little closer to my altitude. She pinched a cheek in each hand and pulled me towards her, planting a quick, firm kiss on my lips with a deliberate and audible "Mwah!" for emphasis.

"You will never know how much I loved tonight. To be taken out and treated like a queen by my handsome, grown up son... Honey, you made me the happiest mum in the world. The happiest woman in the world."

"Fancy doing it again sometime?" I asked as I held the cab door for her.

"Oh, honey, I'd love to, but you have a life of your own. You don't want to spend it consoling lonely old women."

I slid into the seat beside her. "Are you lonely, mum?" I asked, concerned.

"Just a figure of speech," she said. "What I mean is that there must be hundreds of girls out there who would scratch my eyes out if they thought I was keeping you to myself."

I laughed and held my arm up so she could snuggle into me.

When we got home I started some coffee. As I came out of the kitchen into the sitting room I heard music.

"One more dance with my handsome prince before he changes back into a frog?" Mum held her arms out. I shrugged and wrapped her in my own arms.

We swayed for a while. I kissed Mum's hair, enjoying her fragrance. I couldn't resist lifting a hand to stroke her rich dark chestnut hair.

"Mmm," she murmured, snuggling closer.

As the music finished we parted a little and looked into each others eyes. There was a brief silence and then I said, "I love you, Mum."

"Oh, I love you too, baby."

Silence again.

I shook myself. "Well, I hate to break the spell you've cast on me tonight, but if I don't get out of this monkey outfit I'll go mad. Please may I go and change into my bed stuff before coffee?"

"Go on then. I'll do the drinks."

I showered and changed into the sweatpants and t-shirt I used for pyjamas. When I got back downstairs Mum had changed and was in her robe.

"Want to watch TV, she asked."

"Not really," I said. "Why not just leave the music on."

We sat on the couch with our drinks. When we'd finished I sat back and did the thing that had become a reflex whenever I was sitting with Mum: I lifted my arm and she scooted up to snuggle. I wrapped the arm around her and pulled her in close, burying my face in her hair again and kissing her head. She sighed happily. For a while we just wallowed in the warm cosiness of the embrace. My hand stroked up and down Mum's side. I became aware of the contours of her waist and hips. My hand paused.

"You okay, honey?" she asked, her voice muffled by my sweatshirt where her face was pressed to my chest.

I didn't answer for a moment. I felt her begin to move to look at me, but I held her to let her know that I wanted her to stay where she was.

"I think I'm going a bit nuts," I said.

"Really? More than usual?"

"Definitely."

"Why's that?"

"I love you, Mum."

"I know, honey, and I love you."

"I love you so much, Mum. Sometimes I actually think I'm in love with you." Again she shifted. "No, please don't look at me. I'm blushing like a girl and I need to finish talking."

"Okay, baby. Go ahead." Her voice was gentle, reassuring.

"I think about you all the time, Mum. The closeness, the love... Nothing in my life has ever been so perfect. I just don't have the words to tell you how much I love you with all my heart."

"Oh, baby..."

"Tonight... This is hard to say... When I saw you in that dress it was like meeting a new person, but one I already loved. Mum, you really, literally took my breath away. You're not just Mum, you're a woman. The hottest, most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. I am totally in love with you. Okay, you can yell at me now."

For a moment neither of us moved. Then my mum's arm that had been draped across my waist reached further around and hugged me. She didn't say anything for a while, just pulled me tightly to her. I kissed her head again and tried to blink my eyes clear of tears. I couldn't believe what I had just said. It had come out of nowhere - surprising me as much as I expected it had surprised my mother - but as I replayed the moment in my mind there wasn't a single word I wanted to take back. Eventually she sat up. I could feel the heat still reddening my cheeks. I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.

Mum looked into my eyes. Her expression was soft, concerned, searching.

"How could I yell at you, my beautiful boy?" she said softly. "Things have certainly changed. I don't think a little confusion is all that surprising, do you?"

"I don't think I'm feeling any confusion, Mum." I kissed her cheek and hugged her to me.

"Once again the wine takes its toll," she said. "Time to turn in, honey. If things look different in the morning we can put the weirdness down to the booze and just remember our lovely evening. On the other hand if you still feel a little nuts, as you put it, then we can talk more."

"You don't think I'm creepy, do you?" I asked.

"At this moment, baby, I don't know what I think. But I know what I don't think, and I don't think you are creepy. I don't think there's anything wrong with you at all. You're just a beautiful person bursting with love. I'm as proud of you now as I ever was."

She knelt up on the sofa and put a finger under my chin. Tilting my face, she kissed me, gently and chastely, on the lips. It wasn't a peck, but a firm, warm pressure. A confident, deliberate expression of love from my mother and my very best friend.

"Off you go," she said. "See you in the morning."

"'Night, Mum." I clambered a little unsteadily to my feet and wandered off up the stairs. My head was buzzing, but I knew that wine had nothing to do with it.

* * * * *

I awoke to the smell of bacon cooking. I rose and showered, then pulled on clean jeans and a clean check shirt. I paused on the stairs remembering what had transpired the night before. My head was clear now. I took a deep breath and went into the kitchen.

"Morning, honey." Mum came over and hugged me. "Sit yourself down. Your sandwiches will be a few minutes."

I hesitated for a split second then caught my mother's hand as she went to move back to the cooker. She looked down at my hand and then into my eyes.

"A moment," she said. She gently freed her hand, went across to the cooker and slid the pan out from under the grill. "Don't want to burn your bacon," she said. She came back to me and took my hand. "What's on your mind, baby?" she asked.

"You are, Mum," I said. My throat felt dry.

"Still?"

"Still."

"Not the wine?"

"Not the wine."

"Ah."

"Ah."

"What am I going to do with you?" she said, shaking her head.

"Well..." My heart hammered in my chest. "You could kiss me."

She stood on tiptoe and kissed my cheek. "Any time, my lovely prince," she smiled.

I slipped an arm around her waist and gently pulled her close. A finger of my other hand stroked her cheek. I bent and kissed the spot I had just touched, then I kissed her other cheek.

"I need to finish your bacon," she smiled pulling away. I held fast and she looked up at me., She didn't speak, but raised her eyebrows as if to say 'well?'

The I did the craziest thing I ever did in my life. I cupped her chin in my hand and raised it, then I kissed my mother full on the lips. Not a peck, not a mother/son kiss, but a kiss of sheer ,romantic adoration. It was tentative, but firm, and I held for some seconds before breaking and looking at my mum's face.

I was terrified. Would she be upset, angry, horrified?

Mum returned my gaze levelly. "I love you, honey," she said. "That was beautiful, but I am your mother."

"I know who you are," I said simply. "And I'm in love with you." I pulled her back towards me and kissed her again. She didn't resist, and I saw her close her eyes. She didn't put her arms around me, and she didn't actively return the kiss, but there was no tension.

"Baby..." she said quietly. "I'm your mum."

"I know who you are," I said again. And I kissed her again. This time her hands came to rest on my hips, and her lips parted slightly. She closed her eyes again. The kiss lasted maybe five or six seconds.

"Oh, Andrew. We need to talk, honey." Mum took my hand and led me to the sofa in the sitting room. We sat and she took my hand in hers. "Baby, I can see what's happening here," she said. "Remember you said about how we weren't much of a family for hugging and kissing and all that? And when you saw the way some of your friends' families are it made you realise that you never showed me that you loved me?"

I nodded.

"Well, it's quite true that we've never been a terribly cuddly bunch. You know what I think? I think that you are used to physical expressions of affection pretty much only from girlfriends. I think you've come to associate hugging and kissing exclusively with that kind of relationship. With the way we've grown so close it's no wonder a little confusion has crept in." She looked into my eyes and smiled. "But there's no harm done. I love you and you love me. We can adjust. It's just a matter of clarifying the relationship. Firmly establishing it as a family one rather than a romantic one."

I shook my head. "I'm sorry, mum. I don't think I'm confused. I think I see things very clearly. I know you're my mum and I know we're family. You are a fantastic mum, and I love you as a fantastic mum. But I also love you as a beautiful, loving, kind, intelligent, amusing and attractive woman. Mum, you leave the other girls standing in a cloud of your dust. You are light years ahead of them in depth, in character and..." I almost chocked on the word. "In sexiness." I lifted her hands to my lips and kissed them. "I'm sorry to be a pain in the arse. I know it's complicated and I'm causing you big problems, but I am, without doubt, completely in love with you." Once again, my face was burning. My ears must have been positively glowing, but I had to say what I felt.

"Oh, baby... But what on earth did you think could come of it? We're mother and son. I'm married to your father."

"I know all that, and I have no idea what I thought could come of it. I hadn't thought ahead. I just... I don''t know. I guess I want things to be as they are with us being close and touching and cuddling and kissing. Especially kissing. Mum, I dream about kissing you, about kissing you properly."

"Oh, honey..."

Yet again, to my immense frustration I felt tears well in my eyes. "Mum, I love you so much."

Pure motherly instinct made my mum reach out her arms to me and I fell into them. She held me to her and stroked my hair, shushing me like a baby. I eventually got a grip and stopped crying, then I sat myself up.

"Jesus, I'm sorry, Mum."

"Nothing to be sorry for," she said. She gave me a push in the chest. "Back," she said. I obeyed and leant back into my cushion. Mum slapped my arm. "Lift," she ordered. I did so and she snugged into my armpit assuming her usual cuddle position. "Squeeze," she said, and I tightened the arm that was draped around her. "Hmm." She grunted her approval.

"Mum..."

"Just hold me for a while, baby," she said. "I'm thinking."

I held my mother. As usual I couldn't resist stroking and kissing that beautiful chestnut mane. Her warmth radiated into me and I knew I was in the best place in the world.

Eventually she roused herself, sat up and turned in her seat to face me. "Andrew, you say you're happy with our relationship?"

"Very happy, Mum. I love you."

"I love you too, baby. Despite the way your feelings seem to have developed in an... unexpected way, you are happy to go on as we are?"

"Yes, but I just had to tell you. I had to let you know the truth."

"I know. And you said that you dream of kissing me?"

"Oh god, I do. All the time."

"If we were to kiss properly, but otherwise go on as we have been, would that help? I mean would it make you happy or would it make things worse - more difficult."

"I... think it would make everything perfect," I stammered.

"Well, shall we see then?" she asked.

There was no way I was going to hesitate and risk her changing her mind. I took her face in my hands and drew her towards me. Just before our lips touched I saw my mother close her eyes and I did the same. Once again I thrilled to the contact with her soft, warm, moist lips. Mum parted her lips a little and pressed them against mine. Her hand came up to the back of my neck and held me to her. Our lips moved gently against each other. Neither of us touched the other with tongues. After half a minute or so we parted.

"Wow, Mum," I said and held her tightly to me.

"Definitely," she said returning the embrace.

"Again," I said, and she laughed.

"In for a penny, I suppose..." We kissed again. There is a natural position that people seem to assume when kissing - a kind of standard snogging embrace. We gradually rearranged our arms until we fell into that time-honoured configuration.

I lost myself in the kiss. After a minute or so I found the tip of my tongue tracing the line of my mother's lips. As I realised I opened my eyes, briefly alarmed that I may have gone to far. I saw Mum's eyes flicker open. She paused for just the briefest of moments then closed her eyes again and relaxed in my arms. The sound she made was little more than a sigh, but it was unmistakably a happy sound. My tongue continued to explore the soft lips I was kissing, and we lasted a couple more minutes before coming up for air.

"Oh my goodness," my mother gasped. Then she laughed. Well, giggled is probably a more accurate word. She composed herself. "Well?" she asked. "Does it help?"

I tried to say "Hell yes, it helps," but my mouth just worked like that of a fish and no words came out. She laughed again. I gave up trying to speak and just pulled her to me and kissed her again.

"Whoah, greedy boy." She eventually pulled away. "We still haven't had breakfast!" Mum stood up. I followed her example. "Okay, she said. "Food." She turned towards the door to the kitchen.

"Wait." I caught her hand again and spun her around to face me. I caught her in my arms. "I am in love with you, Mum. I love you with all my heart.

"One more kiss. Just one more, then I promise I'll let you get away for a few minutes."

"Oh god. What kind of monster have we unleashed here?" she smiled. "One more kiss. And don't get too used to it: you won't be able to keep grabbing me for a snog when your father is around. He wouldn't understand."

"Okay, mum. This time though, please would you touch my lips with your tongue?"

She looked up at me. The tongue thing did slightly change the nature of the kiss and I could see her questioning the wisdom, but eventually she nodded and lifted her face to mine.

The kiss just grew. The moment our tongues touched it became a 100% investment of emotion from us both. The difference in our height was awkward. Without breaking the kiss I lifted my mother up and carried her to the sofa. I sat down and positioned her so she was sitting in my lap, then I melted back into heaven.

I don't know how long we went for it. Ten minutes, maybe? When we broke again mum looked genuinely dazed. She kissed me several times on the mouth. Just briefly.

"Oh, my goodness. What are you doing to me, baby?"

"Loving you," I said.

"Are you sure this is right, Andrew? Are you sure you can handle it?"

"Yes, I am."

"Well I'm not so sure I can," she said. "But I also know that I couldn't stop now if I wanted to." She kissed me for another half minute, her tongue working hungrily against mine. "Oh, Andrew... I love you," she said as we parted.

We hugged for another five minutes, Mum still on my lap, then she jumped off smartly. "Ha! This time I'm taking no chances," she smirked and vanished into the kitchen. I laughed as I stood up to follow, but the laugh choked off as I realised that the front of my loose sweatpants was thrust out in front of me. It was obvious and 100% predictable, but my mind was not working at anywhere near optimum clarity and I was caught unawares by my own reaction. I headed to the stairs.