Blood and Snow: A Reylo Smut Story

Kylo flattens himself on the ground as the ship rockets past and out of the hangar bay. He stands to watch the ship depart, staring after it as it recedes into the distance.

"Rey, no!" he says to her, reaching out through the Force, pulling the the strange bond between them. She hears him now, as she rises through the atmosphere, and his voice is clearer than before, as though the ties that bind them have only grown in strength. The fury and the anguish that she feels from him are almost overwhelming, and the sorrow with which she responds makes her feel as though she may split in two.

"Kylo," she answers, tears streaming down her face. "Good-bye." Her hands are setting a course on the instrument panel. "I'm sorry."

And as she punches the ignition for the jump to hyperspace, the feeling of him is lost as they are separated by the vastness of space. She looks out at the streaks of the stars, streaming past the ship. This is victory. This is her escape. And yet she feels as though she has been broken in two. As a loneliness deeper than she has ever known settles over her, and she buries her face in her hands and weeps.

Chapter 8: Every new beginning.

Back at the base, Leia and Finn are waiting on the landing pad for her as she exits the ship. Rey walks unsteadily to them.

"You're alright!" says Finn, scooping her up in his arms and spinning her around with joy. "How did you get away? Where were you?"

"Hoth," says Rey, squeezing her eyes shut as she accepts his embrace. It is a warm, kind, and uncomplicated thing. So different from her embraces with Kylo.

"Hoth?" says Leia.

Rey nods as she pulls away from Finn, and Leia opens her arms for her and she is embraced again.

"We crash landed there, and sheltered in the old Rebel base," she says this over Leia's shoulder.

"It's been weeks!" says Leia.

Rey nods again, and the tears, which she has so valiantly been shoring up begin to form in her eyes again. Leia looks at Rey's face and shakes her head.

"I'm sorry. No more questions," Leia says. "Let's get you a hot shower and a proper meal."

A long, hot shower, much longer than she would normally take, feels amazing, but even still, hot fat tears well up in her eyes, and because she is alone, she let's them. Dressing afterwards her skin delights in the feel of fresh clean fabric. Then there is the delight of a warm meal; something other than preserved meal rations does much to restore her. But then she is left alone with her demons, no physical discomforts left to distract her. She can't sleep. It's the first time in almost a month that she hasn't slept with or within arm's reach of Kylo. His absence is a torment to her, and the knowledge of that is its own torture.

Finally, she dresses again and goes to Leia's quarters. They were to meet in the morning, but Rey can't stand waiting. Somehow she feels that Leia is the one person who may be able to understand her distress, the only one with whom she can share honestly what happened. It is against Rey's nature to disturb Leia's slumber, but it is not as late as she thought, and when Leia answers the door, she is still dressed her regular attire.

"Rey," Leia says with a tired smile, "come in."

"Thank you," says Ray, sheepish and relieved.

"Have a seat," Leia says. "Let me get you some tea."

"Thank you," Rey says, sitting quietly as Leia pours tea from a small pot on her desk where she has evidently been working and reading reports.

"So," says Leia, handing her the metal cylinder of fluid, "tell me."

Rey takes a sip of the tea, and then a deep breath. Saying what she has to say now feels like jumping off a cliff into free fall. "I'm afraid, I think, I might be pregnant," she says.

Leia's eyes go wide with horror and there is a stunned silence. "He- did he-" Leia begins, but is unable to finish the thought.

"No," says Rey. "No! It was... it was both of us, that is... it was, mutual." Admitting this out loud is hard for her, but she doesn't want Leia to think that Kylo forced himself on her. He was guilty of much, but not that.

"It was complicated," Rey says weakly, unsure how else to phrase it. "I wanted to stop it, but I couldn't." She looks into her tea, rubbing the cup with her hands, as if there might be an answer there.

"Well," says Leia, relaxing back into her seat, the horror retreating from her features and leaving shock in its place.

"I don't know what to do," says Rey. "After he took me, all I could think about was escape. I was so mad at him, for what he did to Poe, and Finn, and me, and to- to Han." Her voice breaks as she says the name, grief welling up in her. "But there's something between us, something I can't explain, and it took over and I couldn't- I couldn't stop it. I tried, but each time I did I got drawn back in." She looks up from her tea to Leia fearfully, but there is only compassion there in the General's face, and sadness. But unable to hold her gaze Rey looks back to her tea, staring into the depths of the cup. "And when I escaped... leaving him was the hardest thing I have ever done. I felt like I was abandoning myself back on Jakku. It was awful."

She sets down her tea and drops her head, covering her face with her hands.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I'm sorry, I just don't know what to do."

Leia stands and moves close to Rey, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"I understand. Loving Ben is not an easy thing," Leia says, looking down at Rey, who still has her face hidden in her palms.

Rey jerks her head up at Leia's words. "What? No. I don't-" but she cuts herself short as she looks at Leia, who is giving her a knowing look.

"It's time for you to find Luke," Leia says definitively.

Rey nods in silence.

Returning to her quarters Rey is still troubled, but exhaustion and her conversation with Leia have made her ready for sleep. It helps that she has a plan now, a path forward. She undresses and climbs into bed, a bed that now feels like the height of luxury, and sleep overwhelms her.

During the night she wakes to finds herself walking back through the abandoned hangar towards the small office that had been her temporary home. A feeling of dread and excitement pours over her as she approaches the door. She can hear the sounds of wood splintering and things breaking inside. And though the cacophony inspires a powerful desire to run within her, she feels herself pulling the door open.

When she sees him, she feels her heart swell in her chest, like a balloon is expanding in her ribcage, pressing her close to bursting. Longing, fear, loathing, desire, the whole confusing maelstrom he always inspires, rises up and swirls within her. He becomes still when the door opens, debris of furniture scattered about, holes in the wall. His back is to her with his broad shoulders hunched and rigid. Neither of them move for a moment, and Rey feels as though she has forgotten how to breathe in this instant that seems to last for ages.

Then he turns and extends a hand and she feels herself pulled across the floor to him, her toes dragging on the floor as she is seized by the throat. His hand takes the place of his Force grip, and it is strong holding her in place, yet he does not choke her. Still, they do not speak, staring into each others' faces with uncertainty and anger.

"You left me," he says, his voice dangerously low and calm.

"Did you get away?" she asks, searching his face.

"You left me," he shouts it this time, his face becoming contorted with rage.

"I had to," she says, almost in a whisper, her eyes becoming glossy with emotion.

"You shouldn't have left!" he shouts again, tightening his grip for a second then loosening again.

"I had to!" Rey is shouting now as well. "I was your captive! You threatened to kill me! You would have done the same in my place, if you hadn't simply killed me to escape."

"That was before!" he yells, furious still, but a thread of pain weaving itself into his tone.

"Before?" says Rey softly, confused, looking at him wide eyed.

"Yes," he says, his voice still hot with anger, but softening slightly. "Before."

Releasing her throat he grabs the hair at the back of her head and kisses her, pulling her forcefully against him with his other arm. As if acting of their own volition Reys arms wrap around him, the fingers of one hand tangling in his wild mane of hair. There is a thirst and a desperation in the kiss, as though they both expect it to be their last. A strange new note has been added to the many discordant tones of Rey's emotions: longing.

Then they are ripping at each others' clothes, undressing, so that they can press the whole lengths of their bodies together without interruption. He moves to the ground and pulls her down on top of him greedily. Their mouths are locked together as his hands travel up and down her back and she begins to grind her hips against his, his erection trapped between them.

She tries to sit up, but he won't let her and he rolls over on top of her, grabbing her wrists and pinning them above her head in one of his hands. With his other hand he reaches down and slips a finger inside of her. She gasps wildly, arching her upper back. He takes advantage of this and brings his head down to one of her breasts, taking her nipple into his mouth. The hot wet sensation of his mouth, his fingers inside of her, of his body against hers makes her crazy, and she writhes savagely against him, crying out like a wild animal.

"Beg," he commands her, pulling back to look at her, a look of hunger on his face that puts a pit of excitement in her stomach. "Beg me for it, savage."

And she does, pitifully, hungrily and without hesitation. "Please," she whispers, "please. I need you."

"What do you want?" he asks, then uses the tip of his tongue to trace a circle around her nipple.

"You know what I want," she says, biting her lip, her eyes shut tight as she focuses on the feeling of his mouth against her skin.

"I want to hear you say it," he says, bringing his mouth to hers, but only to brush his mouth against hers, teasing.

"Please, oh please, please," she whispers desperately.

"Say it," he says, his lips still brushing hers.

"Take me," she says, looking at him beseechingly, the raw need visible on her face, a bright red flush spreading over her. "Fuck me. Hard."

Without a word he takes hold of his erection and presses into her. She is slick and hot, and she lets out a long wail of pleasure and desolation as he slides inside. There is a pause as they both acclimate to the sensation, and then he's moving at a forceful driving pace that has her sinking her nails into his backside as she is buffeted by his movements.

She is lost in the sensation of his body, fully yielded to him and taking pleasure in the surrender, a perverse excitement arising from the wrongness of it. This is why she had to escape, this power he has over her, and how he would wield it to corrupt her and bring her to darkness.

He stops his thrusting and sits up, lifting one of her legs up and over to join the other so that she is on her side. Without withdrawing he continues to rotate her, and she accommodates him by maneuvering herself to come to all fours. Kneeling behind her, he takes hold of her hips and pulls her to him as he thrusts, so that there is a slap as his pelvis hits her bottom. He starts out with slow, hard thrusts, each of them crying out at each impact as he drives himself home. Then he begins to move faster, and Rey comes down onto an elbow, moving her other hand to stimulate herself as he continues.

Her body is winding now, coiling tighter and tighter. The sensation of him inside her, the slick movement of his hardness is driving her steadily towards a climax. He is still gripping her hips, his backside and his abdominals flexing rhythmically.

"Yes," she whispers, "yes, oh god."

He accelerates further, pounding her with a fire as though he is trying to punish her. Wild animal noises escape her and he is panting and moaning, sweat dripping down his chest. She feels herself tense and she looks over her shoulder at him for a moment, watching him move as she continues to stimulate herself, and then she is exploding, hurtling through space in a wild free fall as the orgasm takes her. Its long, perhaps the longest and she cries out his name, then he is coming too thrusting spasmodically, and together they make incoherent noises of ecstasy. She collapses face down on the bedding and he falls on top of her.

As the dream begins to fade to black, she whispers, "Are you safe?"

His voice is disembodied now as he says, "As safe as I will ever be."

"You got away?"

There is a pause before he answers. "Yes."

And then it's gone.

Epilogue: The next journey.

When morning arrives at the Rebel base, it begins with a whirlwind of preparations. Packing supplies, and weapons, making final repairs and stocking spare parts, reviewing navigational charts. Eventually, Rey finds herself standing in the airlock of the Millenium Falcon, Leia holding her hands with a serious look.

"Get him to come home," says the General, a worn look on her face. "We need him."

"I'll will," says Rey.

They hug, squeezing tightly, and Leia says, "Take care of yourself. And may the Force be with you."

Rey pulls back, teary eyed, and nods.

Scrubbing her tears away, she walks to the cockpit of the ship with BB-8 trailing behind her. She takes a deep breath to soothe herself. Chewy is already there, settled into the copilot's chair. It breaks her heart, settling into the well worn pilot's seat; she can feel where Han's body fit into it, and where hers does not, and it is a pain and a comfort both at once. The engines are warm, and she does her final scan of the instrument panel. Then she turns to her copilot with a look of nostalgia on her face.

"Well Chewy, shall we be going?"

Chewy lets forth a long throaty cry. Rey smiles bittersweet. And they leave to find Luke Skywalker.