Branded

"Noel...I need you to come here as quickly as possible. Please. He's doing fine, really, but...I need you, he needs you, we need family. We need your strength. I hate to ask, but..."

"Absolutely! I told you, anything at all. I'll, well, I'll call work, take a leave of absence, pack and hit the road."

"No, honey, you should fly. Don't drive. It's too far."

"I may need the car or actually if we're going to be there a while, we'll both need the car. Heck, by the time I get a flight I could probably be there."

"Check the flights first, OK? Before you leave stop by the house. In my left desk drawer is a debit card. Bring it for me, Hon. Be careful, Noel, and thank you." Her voice quivered and Noel could hear that she was crying. "Thank you for always being there. I knew I could count on you. I love you, Noel."

"Hang in there, Mrs. B, I'll be there before you know it.

A day and a half later she walked into the ICU. Seven a.m., too early for Mrs. B to be in, change of shifts for the nurses, but they were busy in another room. The curtains were drawn and the code cart was outside the door. Noel knew that that meant someone was not doing well and several nurses would be tied up for some time.

As she entered the room she automatically squirted some antiseptic foam on her hands and rubbed it in as she appraised the situation. She listened to the familiar sounds, technology at work. Vital signs OK, heart and oxygen great, ventilator settings demonstrated that his lungs were doing well and that it was only his muscles that weren't working.

She sniffed the air. Uh, oh. Code brown. She noted that he was getting tube feedings to keep him nourished through the thin white tube in his nose. Tracing it upstream she watched as the wheels of the pump moved, pulling nutritional fluid from the bag above.

She lifted his sheet. What a mess! He was lying in a puddle of brown, feculent smelling fluid. She couldn't just let him sit in the puddle so she decided she'd play nurse. She pulled the covers down, took off his gown. Her eyes became glued to a heart shaped burn on his left chest. Her hand was drawn to it and she ran her finger tips across it. Tears formed as she remembered, but then she shook her head and went to work.

Rolling him up onto his side was difficult. He was big. It was usually a two person job. She had to carefully do it in slow motion so none of the tubes or wires were snagged. She laughed. Some of the nurses referred to the tangle as 'malignant spaghetti.' When she was pulled to the ICU it drove her nuts until she had it organized.

She put on gloves, wiped with a towel, cleaned with a wash cloth, rolled the old mattress pad underneath his body and thanked the stars that he hadn't gotten it out onto his sheets. Powdered his back side and back to absorb any residual moisture, new pad shoved underneath the old, then to the other side of the bed.

Rolled him to the other side, clean, dirty pad out, new pad smoothed, and back onto his back. Then lifted his testicles up and cleaned underneath. That little bit of yuck that always seemed to make it there. Phew. A lot easier with a little old man or a second set of hands.

New gown, sheet back in place, and she resumed her chart review.

She picked up a stethoscope and listened. Heart, lungs, abdomen. Good. She picked up the bedside chart and wrinkled her brow. No urine for eight hours and the collection bag was empty. She peaked under the covers and lifted his gown again. Condom catheter was in place, no leakage.

"Whoa! There's a stranger in our midst. Who might you be sneaking around in my kingdom making herself all at home and stuff?" She sniffed the air and saw the dirty linens in the bag. "And who took it upon herself to clean my poopy patient?"

"I'm sorry, I...I'm Noel. Mrs. Baxter asked me to come. And, well, I saw the code cart and it was change of shift so..."

"Thank you. How the heck did you manage it with this big hoss?"

She laughed and mopped her brow. "Wasn't easy. I think I'm still sweating some." The three of them laughed.

"Well, I'm Ariel. And this is Cody. So where do you fit into the picture."

"Family friend, I guess. It's, well, it's complicated as they say in the movies."

"I don't like complicated, Noel."

"I understand and I promise not to complicate things. I'm only here because Mrs. B., uh, Baxter, sounded like she was falling apart and needed some support." Her eyes turned to Jonah and tears formed. "So I came."

"You're not going to fall apart on me like that other girl, are you? What a mess."

"Absolutely not, Ariel, and I promise I'll stay out of the way. There's just one thing." Ariel gave her a sharp look. "I noticed that there's been no urine output for eight hours or so and nothing in the bag. His suprapubic area is pretty firm, so unless you drained the bag and didn't record it...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just come in here and said anything."

Ariel looked at Cody. "Uh, oh, Cody. A new sheriff has come to town. So, too young for a doctor. Medical student? No, not snooty enough. And neither of those would have wiped his butt. You must be a nurse. My worst nightmare. What do you think, Cody?" He nodded.

Noel laughed. "Nurse, yes. Nightmare, I hope not. I'll stay out of the way and focus on Mrs. B. I haven't met Zoey."

"You're in for a real treat. If you can help that poor girl I will love you forever. And you're right. He needs to be in and out cathed. Lazy bones over here got stuck helping with some sick dude or something and dumped it on me."

Almost in unison Noel and Ariel said, "Always dump it on the day shift." They both laughed and Cody shook his head, rolled his eyes. Ariel touched Noel's arm. "Good to have you here. But you look kind of rough and smell a little on the ripe side."

"I just drove from North Carolina. Only took a couple of naps in the car. Is there a place I could freshen up a little before the others get here?"

"Tell you what. There's a nurses locker room in the basement." Together they said, "Of course," and laughed. "Dang, I might have to change my assessment of you Southerners. Although Maggie seems great too. Tell you what I'm a gonna do, as they say, here's my badge to get into the locker room. There's a shower and," whispering, "scrubs you could put on. And make sure you get some breakfast. And some damned coffee. A big cup. Better bring me one too." She winked. "You're gonna need it. Just sayin'. See you after a while. The dynamic duo was planning to be here at nine or so."

"Thanks."

"So, Cody, it appears that somehow you managed not to kill any of my patients. Great job as usual. Big plans for today?"

At nine, Noel was sitting in the waiting room nursing her second cup of mediocre coffee, not too bad, about what she was used to, institutional coffee. She was working on her course work. Never waste a moment she told herself. Smiling to herself, her 'inner mother' keeping her on track. 'Make today so wonderful, yesterday is jealous.' Her motto. Might be hard to do, but she planned to give it a go. Like every day.

"Noel! Dear, you made it! How was your flight?" They grabbed each other and hugged, the eyes of both getting moist as the joy of reunion was dampened by the gravity of their situation.

"I drove, Mrs. B, it was going to be a few days before they had anything."

"Liar. But, no way! Noel, it was over 1800 miles. How'd you do it in, what, 30 hours or so? You must have been going 100 miles per hour or something."

"No, Mrs. B, well maybe a little over, but all those 24 hour shifts paid off and as the song said, 'a long way to go and a short time to get there' or whatever. Hi, you must be Zoey. I'm Noel."

Shaking her hand, "Pleased to meet you. Wait! You're not THE Noel are you?" Surprise and anger filled her face and voice. "What the hell are you doing here? Haven't you done enough to him already? Why would you show up here? Here! When he's so sick?"

Before Noel could answer, "Because I need her here. I asked her to come."

Zoey's furious and frustrated gaze swung to Maggie. "Why? You know how he feels about her. He's gone on and on about her. Every time he sees that thing on his chest."

Standing tall, "Because she's part of my family and I need her support."

"That's just sick!" Looking at Noel. "You'd better not do anything else to hurt him."

Tears filled her eyes, but she held her ground and raised her head, "I would never do anything to hurt him."

"I'll be watching. Come on, Maggie, let's go see how he's doing this morning." Maggie touched Noel's arm, shrugged her shoulders and mouthed, 'Thanks for coming. We'll talk later.'

"Hey you two. I met your sidekick. She seems nice. Made sure I was doing all the things I was supposed to do," and laughed at the encounter. She noted that Zoey looked none too happy and stared hard at her. Uh, oh. Looks like it IS complicated.

"Oh, it's so good to have her here. She's smart as a whip and graduated second in her nursing class. Just two points behind her best friend. Really ticked her off. She's out there working on her BSN."

"Terrific. Like to brag on her a little, do ya? Well, Jonah is doing fine. We're letting him wake up for his ventilator vacation. You know, like we've done each day. We'll see how he does, but I'm hoping he'll start getting those muscles working, and I will add that he has a lot of muscles, and breathe some on his own. He's awake now. You can talk to him if you want. Remember, he just can't talk back."

Maggie gently nudged Zoey forward. "Hi, Big Guy." She bent down and kissed his cheek and stroked his face as tears started falling onto it. "They say you're doing great. That any day now you'll be breathing on your own. And then we'll work on getting you all better." She let out a moan, started trembling and let go of his hand, "I love you, Jonah. Get better for me, for us, please. Uh, I have to go."

Maggie took her place. "Good morning son. Do you need anything?" She noticed a slight shake to his head. "Oh, Jonah. You moved your head! You moved your head! Ariel did you see?"

"Yup looks like we're making some progress."

"Your dad wanted to come, but you know, we couldn't really just close the shop. The joys of owning your own business. I talked to him last night and filled him in. He misses you and hoped you were doing well. He wanted me to make sure I told you he loved you. When you're a little better maybe we can make a video call, errr, FaceTime? I think that's what it's called."

"You know, Maggie, Noel can come in if you want to..." Jonah's eyes popped open and he shot an accusing look at his mother and started shaking his head. Shaking his head moved his breathing tube and started him coughing, then gagging. The surprised look was replaced with anger and frustration.

"Relax, Jonah. I'll explain everything once your tube is removed." In response he mouthed 'why' around his tube with his lips. He shook his head again and his coughing against the machine set off the alarms.

"I'd better go, Ariel. I love you Jonah. I'll explain it all very soon. Sorry, Ariel."

"Let me guess, it's complicated." She nodded. "Well, Jonah, looks like that little bit of excitement wore out your muscles and you're not breathing as well. So it's sleepy time again. We can't let those muscles get too worn out. They don't recover from fatigue as quickly as you're used to. But congratulations, you're getting better. Night, night," and she pushed the medication into his IV. He fought it, anger still flaring in his eyes, but his eyes closed and he rested.

Noel watched as Zoey fled the ICU sobbing and returned to the waiting room. She jumped up, "Zoey, are you okay? Is there something wrong?"

Turning venomously towards Noel. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHY DID YOU COME? After all the shit you did to him? How dare you! He is is a kind, wonderful man and you hurt him over and over and over. How could ever do anything to hurt that guy?"

Noel started to answer, but decided it was best to let her vent. She'd already been found guilty. She put on the completely neutral, emotionless, passive facial and body stance she'd learned so well growing up. Saved her a lot of grief by just taking it. Another case of 'don't confuse me with the facts.' She was used to it. Let in flow by.

"He loves me you know. If your idea is to sneak in here and steal him from me, it won't ever happen. Were engaged! See the ring he got me?"

"You're engaged?" Another burning iron pierced her chest. Pierced much more deeply than the brand she'd used years ago.

"Don't try to tell me you didn't know. I don't know what your plan is, but it's not going to work. He'll get better and we'll get married and travel and have adventures and all the things we've talked about." Her vitriol stuttered, her demeanor changed and she started trembling, her lip quivering.

"But...but first he has to get better. Oh, God! What if he doesn't get better? He looks so awful. He can't move or do anything he...he was always so strong, confident, my rock." She broke. Her shoulders slumped and she seemed to collapse inwardly. Hands to her face she started sobbing, unable to speak anymore.

Noel stepped forward and hugged her. Zoey attempted to free herself, but was stuck. She started pounding on Noel's arms with both fists. "How could you hurt him? How could you do mean things to that wonderful guy? How could this happen to us, to me? Everything was so perfect. And now..." The pounding stopped and the crying began in earnest.

"It's alright, Zoey. He'll do fine. You're right, he's strong, healthy, determined. He'll get through this. You just have to hang tough...just for a while and then you'll have the rest of your lives, together. Be strong for him now. He needs you to be strong."

She saw Maggie and signaled with her hand to stay put. "Maggie is here to help you, to help both of you, so she'll help you find the strength to get through this. I'm just here to help Maggie if she needs it, nothing more."

Zoey suddenly pushed back and simply stared, a deer in the headlights. "But what if he doesn't get better? What if it takes a year? What if it takes longer? What if he can't walk? Or is weak? Or, or can't feel or whatever? What if he can't hike, climb or do our things? What about school? I have to get back to school in a couple of days. I'll be done and he'll have another year."

She looked anxious, frantic afraid. "Zoey, it'll all work out. You can go to school or take a semester off. Plenty of options. The folks here will take great care of him and then he'll go to rehab for a while. The professionals will take care of everything.

"You just have to love him. That's what he's going to need. He'll do fine. Just give it some time. It's too early to tell how long it's going to take, but you can help him get better. You two can do it together and it'll make your love even stronger."

"No. No, no, no. I don't think I can do this. I don't think I'm strong enough. He was the strong one. And now?" She was shaking, hands trembling, ready to run out screaming.

"Zoey! Zoey! Take a breath. It's only been a week or so. It's too early to tell how it's going to go. He could be better in just a few weeks."

"Yeah, or he could still be weak or fatigued or whatever for years. I just read about it again. Maybe he'll never get better. Maybe we'll never be able to do the things we want..."

"But you will. You will be able to do all those things. Just give it a chance, Zoey. Let your love give you strength and hope. We'll all pray for him. And Maggie can help you." She waved Maggie over.

"Really?" Zeroing in on Noel again, "If she was going to help me why did she invite you? You...you better not do anything to hurt him."

"Zoey, I'll stay out here and just help Maggie. I'll do whatever you want."

"I want you to leave. Go home. Go, wherever, just not here."

"Sorry, Zoey. I can't do that."

"More lies. Well, I have to go. I have a lot of thinking to do." Turning, she saw Maggie. "Maggie are you coming? If you stay you'll have to get a cab or something. We can stop back later after...after this one has crawled back under her rock." Noel nodded to Maggie and silently said 'go.'

"I'm coming, dear. Just give me a second. Let me just grab my purse." Then whispered, "He's asleep. Go in and see him." Noel nodded. "Oh, and here." She shoved a debit card into her hand. "Every penny you ever gave me I put in this account. Take it. Probably almost a year's salary. And thank you, thank you so much for being here."

"Mrs. B, no."

"Damn, Noel. Let someone help YOU. Besides it's the least I can do. You quit your job, drive like a maniac to get here and you're going to need somewhere to stay. I'm not sure Zoey's going to invite you to her place." They both laughed and hugged.

"Maggie! The bus is leaving. Now!"

"I'd better go."

Noel started to shake a little herself as all the suppressed adrenaline now raged to the surface. But Maggie had helped it. She rolled the debit card in her fingers. She couldn't believe that she had saved all that money. Especially since the insurance only paid for part of the costs and all the lost business. She clutched the card to her chest and thanked her lucky stars.

But it didn't replace the hole in her chest from learning that Jonah was engaged. That hurt reignited the burning, like the burning brand of years ago as it melted through her skin until it hit her bones. The pain then had continued into her heart, her very being and once again she felt it. She could almost smell the melting tissues. But she wanted him to be happy, right? But Zoey? Of all the women in the world, Zoey?

True, she didn't know her very well or really at all, but Jonah needed someone strong, confident. Someone who could step up and take the lead when times got tough. Not fall apart. There were always bumps in the road of life, hard times, heart ache. He needed a partner to help him. Now he would need to be strong for both himself and Zoey. His partner should be strong enough for both of them.

That girl's head was skating on thin ice. She was all over the place like some of the anxiety neurotics she'd cared for on psych. No idea where her brain was headed for the next two minutes but it was going and going there fast. She was obviously having a very difficult time dealing with what Jonah was going through and needed help herself.

Counseling, probably some meds to help stabilize things or she needed to increase her dose. Maybe she's already on stuff. But she was not going to be the one to suggest it. Nope. No way. She laughed to herself, 'And I thought my brothers were nuts.'

She sat down, closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths and calmed herself. A quick meditation to clear her mind and rid herself of the negativity from Zoey.

"Hey you!" She opened her eyes. "Yea, you. You should either be studying or getting your butt in here to give me a hand. Instead of sitting on your ass like some princess or something. I don't have an aide. Everyone is swamped, I have three and maybe a fourth coming to care for, and I could use a hand. What do you think? This guy is huge and with my bad back and all."

They smiled at each other, "Well since your back is hurting, it's the least I can do. But, he's asleep right?" Ariel gave her a penetrating look and then nodded.

"Welcome to my kingdom once again. So what kind of nurse are you?"

"Ortho/spine. Most of the time. I've only been there a year or so and.."

"And get pulled everywhere they need you. Been there. Still happens sometimes and I've been here four years. So, any good at routine daily care? You know, bed bath, shave, greasing him up, pressure checks. All that stuff?"

"Yup. I was an aide during senior year in high school and then during nursing school."

"My kinda girl. A go getter."

"Yes, but I really didn't have a choice. I was all on my own and...and I owed a debt my family had created."