Hell's Kitchen

When she arrived at the restaurant the following afternoon, she was and wasn't surprised to see the closed sign in the window. Next to it was a handwritten note that said, "Closed indefinitely due to a death in the family."

Felicia blinked back tears yet again as she stood there and reread it before turning around to leave, wondering whether or not Grace was still among the living.

She was but only for a few more minutes. Unable to eat solid food, Grace had eaten what little she could swallow after it was pureed and fed to her through a straw that morning; her last meal in this mortal plane.

"One o'clock," she'd told her son and her brother.

There was no need to ask what she meant. Her final request was to have them talk about old times. It didn't matter what. Grace just wanted her final memories to be about the wonderful life she'd lived as her brother told stories about them growing up together, getting in trouble, sneaking out to meet a boy or girl, as well as reminiscing about other family members and friends.

Noah chimed in wherever he had a common memory then spent some time talking about his life at home, his time in the service, and the way his uncle ran 'Hell's Kitchen.'

Grace couldn't laugh or really even smile, but she knew her brother and the way he was at work.

"Be good to my son," she told him.

"I will, Gracie," he promised through tears.

"I think he's in love," she managed to say.

"Noah? In love? With who?" Daryl asked.

She cut her eyes toward him, and he smiled.

"Who? Who are you in love with?" his uncle asked.

"It's okay," his mom said. "Tell him."

"Mom, I don't know if I'm...in love with her. We barely even know each other."

"I know," she said. "I saw it. She likes you, too."

"Wait. Are we talking about...Felicia?" Daryl asked.

"Yeh...F'i'a," Grace croaked, unable to say her name.

"She...she's my age, for Christ's..."

He stopped and said, "Sorry. For goodness sakes."

She was six years younger than him, but Noah didn't know that so he let it pass.

"Love knows no bounds," Grace told him with much difficulty.

Unwilling to argue, Daryl nodded and said, "No. No, it doesn't."

They talked right up until one then, during a moment of silence, Grace said, "It's time."

Noah had been told what to do, but his uncle said, "No. Let me do this...Noah."

It was the first time he'd used his nephew's given name since he'd hired him, but it was the right thing to do.

Noah explained what the doctor had shown him, and Daryl took care of it then poured the liquid into a glass and added a straw. Grace would drink as much as she could then slowly drift away until death came and released her tormented body from the grip of this terrible disease.

When they came back, Grace saw them on the verge of being emotional and said, "No tears. Just smiles, okay?"

It was a tall order, but both men tried after hugging her and holding her and telling her how much they loved her. They sat on either side of her then Daryl held the drink and Noah placed the straw between her lips.

They watched the liquid being drawn up then enter her mouth then heard her swallow. This happened four more times before she pushed the straw away with her tongue.

"Hold me," Grace whispered.

Daryl sat the glass down as he and his nephew held her as her breathing became shallow and slow and continued holding her until it stopped. When it did, Daryl gently closed his sister's eyes as his own were flooded with tears.

Noah cried, too, as they sat there with her until they could stand it no longer.

"I'll call the coroner," Daryl said quietly as he dried his eyes the best he could with his sleeve.

Within an hour, a medical examiner arrived and formally pronounced the time of death after verifying the prescription the doctor had written. Noah kissed his mother's forehead goodbye before Daryl did the same as two men gently placed her body on a gurney and covered it with a white sheet.

"So now what?" Daryl asked as they wheeled his only sister away.

Grace's only child said, "I don't know. I honestly don't know."

"I'm here for you, okay? Whatever you need?" his uncle said as he put an arm around his nephew's shoulder.

"Thanks," was all Noah could say.

Felicia found herself wanting to talk to Noah in the worst way to see how he was doing and to confirm what she was almost certain had happened had indeed happened. The thought of losing her own mother made her so sad that when she got to her mom's house where Charity went every day after school, she hugged her.

"Is everything okay?" her mom asked.

"No," she replied.

"You're supposed to be at work, so does this mean you lost your job?"

"Oh, no. The restaurant is closed today," Felicia told her.

Her mother, Anna, knew the restaurant never closed. Not even on Christmas Day.

"What's wrong, honey?" her mom asked.

Felicia sat down and started crying as she tried to explain the emotional roller coaster she'd been on since being passed over for the sous chef position up through the evening with Noah, Daryl, and Grace.

"I'm so very sorry," her mom said sincerely.

She watched her daughter closely then asked, "Are you imagining that being me one day?"

"I...I'm trying not to, Mom, but I can't help it. Just the thought of..."

She couldn't say 'losing you' without melting down, but her mom understood.

"Well, let's hope that's a long way down the line, shall we? For now let's focus on you and that family who lost their loved one."

"You're right, Mom. There's nothing I can do for Grace now."

"Or about the future," her mother gently reminded her. "All of us have to die, honey. You know that. But we knowingly hide that truth in the back of our minds until we're forced to confront our mortality. Losing someone we don't know well does that. It makes us think about losing someone close to us as well as our own lives. It's a very unpleasant thing to think about, but another person's death causes us to do so."

"It's still sad," Felicia said, knowing there was no use arguing because her mom was right.

"Sadness is our way of knowing we care. It's easier said than done, but we should try and celebrate a person's life rather than mourn their death."

"Mom? You are the smartest person I know," her daughter said with a faint smile.

Her mom smiled back then said, "I don't know about my being smart, but I've tried to pay attention, and perhaps I've managed to accumulate some small amount of wisdom over the years."

Felicia had to hug her mother again, and this time her mom knew why. When Charity got home, she wasn't so lucky as her mom smothered in her in hugs and kisses leading her daughter to ask her mom if she'd lost her mind.

"No. I haven't gone crazy," she replied. "I just needed to hug my baby. That's all."

"Mom? I'm ten, okay?" Charity said.

"Yes. Yes, you are, honey. But you'll always be my baby."

Then she hugged her close one more time without sharing the sad details with her daughter.

Felicia flinched when her phone rang early the following morning.

It was Noah, and she found her hands trembling when she answered it.

"Hi, Noah," she said not wanting to say something like 'how are you' to him.

"Hi, Felicia. I...I wanted to call you to let you when the funeral will be," he said quietly.

"Noah? My heart its breaking for you," she told him before he could provide the information.

"Thank you. Mine, too," he said.

She could tell he was the verge of being emotional so she said, "Go ahead. I'm listening."

He gave her the date and time as well as the location, and Felicia assured him she'd be there.

"Is there anything I can do now? Anything at all?" she asked.

"No. Not really. It's just so good to hear a friendly voice," he replied.

"How's your uncle doing?" she asked.

"I can't really tell. But I can tell you he's been extremely quiet since, you know."

She wanted to ask how close he'd been to his sister, but that didn't matter. She was his sister and he was obviously hurting.

"I know it would be silly to offer to cook for you, but I'd be happy to if you'd like," she offered.

"I'm not really hungry, you know? But it would be nice to have someone to talk to."

"Just say when and I'll be there," Felicia told him without hesitation.

"Anytime is okay. Well, I have to go to the funeral home at 1 o'clock. But other than that..."

"Would you like to have a friend go with you?" she asked. "I know your uncle will be there, but I'm available if you need me."

"Actually, he's not going. This whole thing has really affected him. In fact, I've never seen him like this before. He asked me if I could handle it without him, and I told him I would. So if that isn't too...macabre for you, then yes, I'd love your company. Oh, and the restaurant is closed again today, but we're paying everyone's salary so hopefully that helps."

"Shall I meet you?" she asked without saying a word about money, the last thing on her mind.

"Not unless you'd prefer that. I'd rather come pick you up if that's okay."

Felicia knew he had her address and told him she'd be ready. She called her mom and asked if she could be there when Charity came home, and her mom told her she'd be delighted to.

She wasn't sure if anything but black was appropriate then realized this wasn't the funeral so anything not too bright and cheerful-looking would be fine. After looking for the perfect outfit, in the end she gave up and opted for a dark-blue sweater and a black skirt with a pair of two-inch heels after doing her hair and makeup.

Felicia was too mentally occupied to notice that she could still wear a skirt that was four inches above her knee without drawing any negative attention. In fact, she still quite often drew a lot of very positive attention from men between 20 and 60 as her legs were downright shapely and sexy.

The last thing she was expecting when Noah arrived was a compliment, but that's exactly what she got when he saw her. She invited him in, but he stood there for a moment just looking at her causing her to ask if something was wrong.

"No. Nothing. I just can't believe how amazing you look," he told her.

His voice was quiet, and there was no hint of flirting. It was just a sincere compliment which touched her deeply.

"Thank you, Noah. That's so kind of you to say."

When he still didn't move she said, "Did you want to just go ahead and leave now?"

"Is that okay?" he asked.

"Of course. Let me just grab my purse. Is it cold enough for a coat?"

"I...I don't really know," he said rather absentmindedly even though the temperature had dropped nearly 20 degrees from that warm evening when he'd been looking up at the stars.

Felicia grabbed hers just in case, and to her surprise, Noah took it and helped her put it on. She thanked him for that, too, then locked the door and followed him out to his car.

There, he opened her door, and she couldn't help but smile.

"You sir, are a true gentleman," she told him as he waited for her to sit down.

He smiled but didn't reply before going around and starting the car.

Felicia tried not to stare, but she couldn't help but notice how sad his eyes were. The reason why was obvious, but it still hurt her to see him hurting like that. Almost instinctively, she reached over and took his right hand which was resting on the shift lever.

"I...I just feel terrible for you, Noah," she said when he glanced her way.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me just having you come with me."

He tried to smile but it didn't quite work. Felicia looked back understandingly and squeezed his hand.

When they arrived at the funeral home, Felicia got that sick feeling in the pit of her stomach as thoughts of death and what went on at such places welled up inside her.

"Is this where your mom is?" she asked as Noah parked the car.

"Yes," was all he said before telling her he'd come around and get her door.

He also offered her his hand and helped her stand up, and for the first time since he'd kissed her, she felt whatever it was she'd felt before. She quickly looked away and let him close the door then slid her arm inside his as they headed toward the entrance.

The funeral director was waiting for them, and Felicia could tell immediately he'd practiced this routine so many times he had it down to a fine art.

"Mr. Phillips. I'm so sorry for you loss," the older man began.

"Thank you very much," he replied.

The man smiled, looked at Felicia then asked, "Are you Mrs. Phillips by any chance?"

"What? Me? Oh...um, no. I'm...I'm just..."

"She's..."

Noah looked at her then said to the director, "My best friend."

Felicia smiled as that same feeling warmed her heart.

"It's a pleasure to meet you both even under such difficult circumstances. If you're ready, we can go ahead and get started."

The large number and styles of caskets to choose from was very surprising, but even more so was what they cost. Noah had no idea how much a funeral would be, but he did know his mom had a meager $10,000 insurance policy. From the looks of things, that wouldn't even pay for a decent casket. Then again, he didn't need the 'Cadillac of caskets', just something decent.

"Have you asked about the burial site yet?" Felicia asked very quietly as they browsed the samples.

"No. Why?" he asked.

"Oh, my," Felicia said. "They cost money, too."

"Do you have a ballpark amount?" Noah asked.

"Two thousand—minimum," she said. "Unless your mother was a veteran."

"No. No, she wasn't."

"So maybe up to three thousand?" he asked.

"I'd say that's a reasonable number."

"I had no idea these things cost so much," he said as they looked and asked questions.

"My mom would be very upset if I spent a lot on a casket, but I'm not laying her to rest in a pine box, either," Noah said quietly.

"We need to ask the funeral director what his costs are then go from there."

Noah was stunned when the man told him $7,500 without blinking an eye. With a burial plot at any of several cemeteries he contracted with, the total would be just under $12,000.

Noah chose a 'decent model' from the 'Memories' collection then signed the contract and put the required downpayment on his credit card, and with that their business was done.

As they headed back, Felicia said as cheerfully as she thought would be appropriate, "How about letting me take you to lunch?"

"I am a little hungry finally, but I can't let you pay."

"Dutch?" she asked.

"Okay, but this does not count as our date," Noah said, smiling for the first time all day.

"Oh, right. Coffee, wasn't it?" she asked as though she'd forgotten. She smiled then added, "As in real coffee."

Noah smiled weakly then surprised when he said, "Felicia, I'd really like the chance to get to know you better."

As bad as she felt for him and all he'd been through, she felt like she had to say something.

"Noah? I have a ten-year old daughter. And...well, I was older than you are now when I had her."

She spoke softly and carefully hoping not to make him feel any worse.

"I know you have a daughter. I believe I met her," he replied just as quietly. "Did you forget that already?"

Felicia smiled but didn't laugh.

"No, I didn't forget. But the bigger issue isn't Charity."

"Oh, right," Noah said.

"So you understand then?" she asked very gently.

"Sure. If we don't share the same views religiously or politically, that could potentially be a huge problem," he replied very seriously.

"What? What are you talking about?" she asked.

"The bigger issue you're so concerned about. Is it politics? Or maybe you don't like sports?"

It took a while, but Felicia finally got it.

"Ha, ha!" she said trying to sound sarcastic.

"I mean, what else could it be?" he asked as though it couldn't be age.

"I don't really follow politics, but if you hate sports, that would be an issue. A big issue. You don't have to like them, of course. You'd just have to be okay with letting me watch and play them."

Felicia found his reply playful and sweet so she let it go—for now.

Just an hour later when they finished eating, she felt like she'd really gotten to know him, and for some reason the age business no longer seemed like the huge issue she'd made it out to be. It still mattered to be sure, but it didn't bother her like she'd initially assumed it would. Even so, she reminded herself they'd only had lunch, that it wasn't a date, and she was only there to be supportive of a fellow employee in his time of need.

So why then did she keep getting that feeling every time he smiled at her? And worst of all, when he dropped her off, why did she want him to kiss her again so badly?

When he didn't, she felt a groundswell of disappointment which reminded her she was 40 and he was...gorgeous. She didn't know Noah was actually 26, but she was absolutely certain he was well under 30 making any chance of a relationship impossible. So again, why was she now feeling unbelievably sad as though she'd just lost someone dear to her? And why was she unable to think about anything other than the way she was feeling?

Getting a big hug from her mom and her daughter, who'd just gotten home from school, made her feel a whole lot better.

"So how did it go?" her mom asked.

"Where did you go, Mom?" Charity asked before her nana could answer her mother.

This wasn't a subject she wanted to broach with her daughter, but it was the perfect opportunity to do so, and once she started, her mom joined in and offered her perspective.

"That's so sad," Charity said when they finished.

She surprised her mother and her grandmother when she asked if she could go to the funeral.

"Yes, of course," her mom said. "I think Noah would like you to be there."

"He's really nice," Charity said.

"Yes. Yes, he is."

"And...he really is cute," her daughter said.

This time Charity didn't blush, but her mom thought she might for the briefest of moments. She didn't, but she had a flash of some kind hit her, and that, too, made her wonder where it was coming from and what it meant.

Felicia sat next to Noah who sat beside his Uncle Daryl while Charity and her mom sat next to The Chef during the funeral service. She also stood by him later at the cemetery where Grace was laid to rest.

"That was a beautiful service," Felicia told Noah once it was over.

"They did a very nice job," he agreed.

"Well, I suppose I should let you go," she told him, not knowing what else to say.

"Could we...could we maybe talk?" Noah asked before she could take a step or say another word.

"Sure. I...I'd like that," Felicia told him.

"I can take Charity, honey," her mom told her. She'd come along, too, to pay her respects even though she'd never met Grace.

"I can give Felicia a ride home," he told her mother.

"Then it's settled. I'll take my granddaughter and you two can spend some time together."

Noah bent down and said to Charity, "Thank you so much for coming. My mom would have liked you very much."

"I was honored to come," she said very sweetly. "I'm so sorry you lost your mom."

"Me, too," he told her with the best smile he could muster before her nana took her hand and led her away.

It was chilly outside but not yet cold and raw as it so often was that time of year.

"Anything specific?" Felicia asked once they were alone. Daryl was still there talking to some of the other employees, but Noah and Felicia were otherwise by themselves.

"Do you mind if we walk and talk?" he asked as he nodded toward the paved walkway between rows in the cemetery.

"No. It'd be nice to keep moving," she told him.

"Do you believe in life after death?" he asked her after taking a few steps.

"I...I don't know. I guess I hope there's such a thing. Do you?"