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The function suite at the hotel is decorated beautifully, twinkling lights adorn the walls and ceilings, balloons, crisp white table cloths. It looks like the University has gone all out, Gemma has my hand with hers and quickly leads me over to a table full of her friends and introduces me. She's attentive enough to pull my seat out for me before taking the one to my right and draping an arm across the back of my chair, her fingers finding a place at the back of one of my shoulders where she begins to stroke the skin methodically.

I immediately tense up, knowing in the back of my mind that I don't want her to touch me. I quash that thought quickly, remembering the promise I made to myself on the ride over and force my body to relax. It appears though that that's where Gemma's attentiveness ended, once she has sat with her friends and made simple introductions I'm not included in the conversation. In fact, if it wasn't her hand touching me I'd have taken a guess that she'd forgotten I was even there.

Fed up and bored I stand from my chair abruptly "excuse me, I'm going to the bathroom." I don't wait for her response before walking away, this was a mistake, I knew I shouldn't have agreed to go out with her. I grumble to myself as I walk through the room, avoiding students and tables as I go. I fix my eyes to the floor below me, just as I think I'm clear of everyone before I slam into another person, almost knocking us both to the floor. "Holy shit, I am so sorry..." I begin, stopping myself when I see who it is that I've walked into.

Emily has her hands on my arms steadying us both, as always her touch pulses through my body like an electric current. "You need to start paying attention to where you're going" she chides me, her voice soft, I notice that she makes no effort to let me go. I also notice that her eyes are currently travelling up and down my body greedily before resting on my face again "Kaitlyn," she takes a deep almost calming breath "you look beautiful."

I return the favour and drink her in ravenously, being so elusive with her recently has been difficult, sometimes I feel like I've forgotten just how beautiful she is. So I look at her slowly, my eyes travelling over her body longingly, etching her into my brain. She's wearing dark grey jeans, a navy blue dress shirt tucked in at her hips and a black vest buttoned up over the top. Her hair falls in waves, framing her face "decided to go against a dress?" Of all the things to say I choose that?

Emily smirks, her hands running down my arms until they drop to her side where she shoves them into her pockets "you couldn't pay me enough to put one on. What are you doing here? I thought this was for graduates only?"

I sigh and nod towards Gemma "I'm meant to be on a date but it's a disaster." I make a point of looking around the room "where's Charlotte?" Emily rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

"Her agent called and she just had to take it, so here I am."

I smile at her and nod "so here you are." I agree, our eyes meet and I can taste the air around us change. It's different to how it usually is, the tension that's been there recently has gone and has been replaced with an unspoken longing. The music changes and is replaced by a slow ballad being played, I watch as couples around us take to the floor and begin swaying together.

Emily takes a hand out of its pocket and takes one of mine "this might be out of line, but do you think it'd be ok if we danced one time together?" Her voice is quiet, almost hopeful when she asks me and I can't help the smile that creeps onto my lips.

I squeeze her hand and step closer to her "it's not out of line. I think it'd be more than ok." The way she looks at me before she drags me to the dance floor and buries us between couples so we're out of sight makes my knees weak. When she wraps her arms around my waist after lifting mine to around her neck, I feel the world melt away, her eyes don't leave mine and I melt into the contours of her body.

She dips her head and rests her cheek against mine "I'm sorry" she whispers as we sway together, her arms tighten around me as though she's afraid I'm about to disappear. "I'm sorry that I can't be what you want me to be. I'm sorry I can't be what I want to be, she's moving out here. I can't leave her now she's made that choice."

I nod slowly, ignoring the searing pain in my chest as she speaks "I understand Emily. Don't apologise, it sucks, for both of us." I admit, pulling back slightly so I can look at her "doesn't mean you can go off and forget about me though, I mean it when I say I'm going to miss you."

She grins at me and rests her forehead against mine "I'll miss you too, more than you'll know."

Silence falls on us and I just let myself enjoy being with her, in that moment there's just us. No awkwardness, no tension, no girlfriends, just us being together. "What do we do now?" I ask, reluctant to break the peace between us.

Emily sighs and presses her lips to my hair softly "we keep dancing, you go back to your date, finish school. Be awesome. I'll go and find Charlotte, go to Harvard and try to bury these feelings for you."

"Ok." I say as my heart shatters into a million tiny pieces, when the music ends we reluctantly disentangle from one another and share one last fleeting look. With a timid smile, Emily turns on her heel and disappears from my sight and from my life.

She graduated a few days later and even with the promise to keep in touch, that was the last I heard from her.

Chapter five: After all this time.

I hate hospitals, probably more than I hate blood and right now I have to endure both thanks to a stupid messenger bike not watching where the fuck he was going. So instead of being at work at the theatre, here I am sat in the emergency room at New York: Presbyterian Hospital waiting to get my arm stitched up.

My leg shakes restlessly as I hold the towel onto my arm, it's soaked with warm, sticky blood and it's seeping from the cloth and onto my fingers. The smell sticks in my nose, mixing with the clinical scent of bleach nauseates me and my stomach roils at it. I groan loudly when my cell phone chimes with yet another message from my boss asking how I am. I struck lucky with my internship, working beneath one of the best Broadway Musical directors in the business, plus he's a lovely guy and he and his partner have done everything to make me feel welcome and often go above and beyond what is expected.

It appears the wait is over when the curtain is pulled back abruptly and in front of me is a flustered looking Doctor "Catalina Suarez? I'm Doctor Emily Forester, I believe you're in need of a few sutures?" That voice, that name, it feels like a slap in the face when I see the woman standing in front of me. It might have been five years since I last saw her but I'll never forget the sound of that voice, that accent or those piercing green eyes. I want to speak, I want to say anything but words escape me as I stare into those eyes I looked into so often all those years ago. But the force of the longing I felt hits me with the same force of a freight train and renders me speechless.

Thankfully, it appears I don't need to say anything, Emily's brows scrunch over her eyes as she does a double take and widen when she realises who it is sitting on the bed in front of her "Kaitlyn? Kaitlyn Suarez?"

"That's me" I say, my voice sound high pitched and irregular "how are you Emily?" I ask, sounding slightly calmer.

Emily pulls a chair and sits next to the bed, gesturing to my arm she looks intently at it "I'm doing a lot better than you it seems, still knocking people down at every given opportunity?" She teases before standing up "excuse me a moment, I need to get some supplies" and leaves quickly leaving me alone once more.

I take a series of calming breaths, my heart beating erratically, I can't believe this is happening. I haven't seen or heard from this woman in five years and then she just shows up out of the blue and still has this profound effect on me. I want to get up and walk out of this place, I'm tempted to go to the nearest Target and buy a needle and thread to sew the damned thing up myself just so I don't have to see her. But against my own better judgement, I stay rooted to the spot and find myself looking forward to her return.

When she steps back in through the curtain I'm more prepared and actually find myself smiling at her. She's armed with supplies and expertly begins to clean out my arm "this is a nasty cut, how did you manage it?" She asks quietly.

I shake my head and sigh "fucking messenger bike knocked me down" Emily pauses for a moment and looks up me with a quirked brow, I roll my eyes at her and purse my lips "I'm well aware of the irony. Now are you going to fix me Doctor Forester, or just sit and poke fun at me?"

Emily chuckles and keeps working "you look good Kait, how's life been treating you?"

"Good, graduated top of my class, got a great internship and a good circle of friends. You? I didn't realise you'd come back to New York"

Emily at least has the decency to look a little embarrassed by my remark of her absence from my life after she literally disappeared "about that..."

"Don't. It's fine. Seriously though how are things for you? And Charlotte? She made it big yet?" Emily looks up at me, a strange little smile on her lips before shifting her attention back to the task at hand.

"I'm fine, working crazy hours here fighting for surgery time. Harvard was great! Didn't quite finish top, but in the top five percent of my class which was enough to give me my choice of residency programmes. Charlotte went back to London after being offered a lead in a stage play. We're... we're not together anymore. Haven't been for about nine months, she's actually engaged to a chap who went to school with my brother."

Emily's not with Charlotte anymore? The news makes my erratic heart beat even faster and I silently thank the heavens that I'm in a hospital at the moment because I'm sure it's about to stop any moment "I'm sorry to hear that" I murmur, Emily's eyes meet mine again and she looks at me intently. I feel that magnetic pull drawing me into her, still there and as strong as it always was.

"Are you?" She asks quietly. I nod slowly and we just sit and stare at each other for a long, drawn out second "all done." She looks at her watch and back at me "you were my last patient, if it's not too much of an intrusion how would you like to grab a drink with me? Catch up?"

I don't think I could smile any wider than I did in that moment "I'd like that a lot. Where should I wait for you?"

She returns my smile with a blindingly beautiful one of her own and stands up, taking my chart from the end of the bed and signing it off "there's a lobby down the hall. I need to get changed and then we can go to this great little pub. It's a couple of blocks away" the words gush out of her but it's endearing to listen to. I'm just glad that I'm finally seeing her again, that I'm finally able to spend time with her again and listen to her laugh.

I wait nervously in the lobby, checking my watch every few seconds as I anticipate her return. I'm not mad that she didn't keep in touch, it hurt like hell but deep down I know why she did it. She was in an impossible position but it's different now, I can feel it. Stop getting ahead of yourself she might have a new girlfriend.

I don't get a chance to chastise myself for being over optimistic much more because Emily walks towards me and she's changed out of her pale grey scrubs and is looking gorgeous in blue jeans and a thick knit grey sweater. Her smile makes my insides melt and all I can do is stand and grin goofily at her "you ready to go?" She asks.

"Sure am." The walk to the bar is nice, the city air is cool and pleasant. We exchange pleasantries as we go, filling in the gaps loosely for the previous five years. The bar is small and cosy, a long bar fills the back wall, exposed brick and various sports memorabilia decorate the surrounding walls. High tables and chairs are dotted around the centre of the floor, booths sit around the edge. It's crowded with people, talking amongst themselves and enjoying their evening.

"What do you want?" She asks as we each sit on a stool at the end of the bar, Emily's hand waves in the air signalling the bar tender.

"Just a beers fine please." Placing our orders Emily turns to me and looks at me intently, she takes a long drink from the bottle that's set in front of her and rests her free hand on top of mine.

"I'm going to be direct Kaitlyn, I'm too busy to bullshit things anymore." I just nod, relishing her touch after so long "five years ago I made a choice, a choice I knew then and I'm even more certain now was the wrong choice. I don't think a days gone by where I haven't thought of you."

As much as her words fill me with joy, I find myself frowning a little bit "I've waited a long time to hear you say that, and I think you know that. But why did you just cut me off the way you did? Why didn't you try and reach out before? Like nine months ago when you and Charlotte broke up?"

Emily sighs and runs her hand through her hair "I wanted to, I really did. But after the way I left things I was scared that if I was to reach out, out of the blue after so long you'd tell me to piss off and you'd have every right to, but I have a feeling now that you're as happy to see me as I am to see you?" Her eyes search mine, looking for answers and I can only nod.

I take a drink of my beer and lace my fingers through hers "you have no idea. I missed you, not just because of my feelings for you but because you were my friend too. So there's no girlfriend around now?"

Emily shakes her head and smirks "nope, I'm a free agent. You?"

I grin "I can't remember the last date I went on never mind the last relationship I had." Emily's smile widens before she downs her beer and turns back to me, her hands cup my face and she looks at me intently.

"I want to kiss you" she says bluntly, turning my insides to goo, my breath leaves my body in a long sigh as I lean into her hands.

"Then kiss me" I whisper, my lids fall shut and my lips part slightly, I feel Emily's warm breath on my face as our lips are barely a hairs breadth apart. This is it, this is what I've been waiting for all these years. I've wanted this since the moment I first met her and it's about to happen. A series of beeping coming from around the bar breaks the moment and Emily pulls away, looking at me apologetically before pulling her pager from out of her pocket. Her brows furrow and she looks around the room, my eyes follow her gaze and beep after beep sounds out around the room, men and women all look down at their pagers and then back up searching for a TV screen.

"Mike, hey Mike!" Emily calls the barman in a stern voice "turn the news on" a series of chorused requests from around the bar agrees and he reluctantly complies with the request of his patrons.

I touch Emily's arm, bringing her attention to me "is everything ok?" She pales and looks from me and back to the tv screen, I follow her eyes and gasp at the scene unfolding before me.

"We've received reports that a series of blasts have taken place on various subway lines, many are suspected to have been wounded and killed. We are still awaiting confirmation on whether or not this is a terrorist attack. Police have advised all commuters avoid the subway where possible and take alternative routes around the city..."

Emily looks at me, a pained expression painted across her face, movement around the bar snaps her out of it and she begins tying her hair back out of her face and pulls her wallet out and throws some bills down on the counter. "I have to go..."

I reach out and cup her face, brushing my thumb across her cheek "I know" I say, her hand reaches up and covers mine holding my hand in place before turning her lips into my palm and placing a kiss there. She moves quickly and fishes a set of keys and a pen out of her pocket.

"This is my address, these are my apartment keys. I really want to finish this conversation but I don't know how long this is going to take. Go to my apartment, make yourself at home." I just nod and she gives me a lingering look and dips her head, pressing her lips against my cheek causing shivers to run up and down my back. I watch her make her way out of the bar at pace and let out a long sigh, she's been gone less than a minute and I already miss her.

The walk to her apartment is quiet, I'm wracked with nerves at the thought of going into her personal space without her. But I'm also quietly pleased that after so long apart she trusts me enough not to rob her. I chuckle to myself at that thought and quickly find myself in front of a brownstone building. Double checking the address on the napkin, I walk up the stoop slowly and pull out her keys. It takes a couple of tries to pick the right one but I finally manage to get the door open and walk up the stairs to her apartment. Letting myself in I close the door and look around, the whole place smells just like her and I feel myself relax instantly.

The apartment is so like Emily, clinically clean and everything in its place. In the lounge framed photos adorn the otherwise blank walls and I look through them, photo of Emily with a young man I can only assume is her brother Max due to the striking similarities between the two. Photographs of her and her brother with their parents separately, her mother looks stern and cold. Her stiff poses and the way her smile doesn't reach her cold eyes, the complete opposite to her father. Emily looks a lot like her father, the eyes, the hair colour, their smile. He's smiling in every photo with his daughter, looking proud at her Harvard graduation as she stands there with his arm around her waist in her cap and gown. I smile at them all, getting a look into her life I've never been able to have before.

I continue to explore the apartment room by room, when I reach the bedroom I hover in the doorway before closing the door again and moving back to the lounge. I feel restless as I sit on the couch and begin flicking through various tv channels, catching glimpses of the news and turning the channel over when the anxiety kicks in that often does when anything bad happens.

I resolve to get comfortable after being there for an hour and with no sign of Emily, so I kick my shoes off curl up in the corner of the couch and pull the blanket over me that's folded neatly on the back.

Somewhere between a live update on the subway explosions and a talk between so called experts I dozed off, because I'm woken by the sound of the apartment buzzer sounding. I move as quick as my legs will carry me across the room and press the intercom button "hello?"

"Kaitlyn, it's Emily I need you to buzz me in. You have my keys" she sounds exhausted is my first thought as I press the door release button and pace anxiously around the hallway waiting for her to arrive.

The door opens and she shuts it behind her slowly, her eyes find mine and it's there again. That pull, the crackle in the air between us, only this time there's nothing stopping us both giving in to it. Neither of us speak, Emily throws her backpack onto the floor beside the door and in three long strides closes the distance between us. Taking my face in her hands she pulls my lips to hers and kisses me firmly.

I see sparks behind my eyelids as our mouths move together, my hands rest on her hips and I hold her to me firmly. Moulding my body to the contours of hers until we're just one person. This is everything a first kiss should be, soft but passionate, wild but reserved, our lips fit together and move in unison in a way that feels right. Like they'd been doing it for eternity and were well versed in the art of kissing the other.