Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 114

Beth shook her head. "We think we have a pretty good idea, but won't know for sure until it rears its ugly head. Di will be on standby in case it shows. The thing is apparently massive." In fact, Pele had drawn a picture of the beast for Beth, but it hadn't made a whole lot of sense to her. The creature had the face of a demon with the tentacles of a massive squid on the torso of a man. Sofia had found references to such a creature, but the only one known to exist had been slain centuries prior.

Then again, she couldn't even be sure of that. Her mythology was largely based on a couple of coincidences and an old movie called Clash of the Titans. Sadly, Medusa's head had been destroyed some time ago, which meant defeating an actual kraken was going to be far more difficult.

"When it shows its ugly face, the military will react for sure." Aurora's voice was trembling. For whatever reason, Death had her spooked. The Reaper noticed this and turned to face the young woman.

"Before I go, would you like a biscuit?" He stuck a hand in his pocket and pulled out a plastic-wrapped Biscotti. "I keep these on me for special occasions. It seems you could use a pick-me up."

"Are you...real?" asked Aurora.

Death winked. "No matter what they say, I'm always real in the end. Now if you'll excuse me, I've been given an important task." With that, the Grim Reaper wandered onto the beach, causing merfolk and Order alike to scatter. "I shall see you in the morning," he shouted. "Bright and early! No, not you, young man, I was talking to...no, I'm not coming personally to collect everybody, that would be... Can someone please help him? He's crying now."

Beth winced and turned away from the spectacle on the beach.

Tink had gone unnaturally quiet, her gaze now fixed on the map. She licked her lips, revealing plenty of sharp teeth.

"Tink make better plan now," she said, her voice almost guttural. "No more distraction, make huge plan, show husband Tink is best."

The hours were somehow long, yet not long enough. Sometime after midnight, Beth was exhausted. She stared at the map, her eyes bleary as she contemplated the numerous markers that Tink had placed or moved around. The goblin was long gone, having headed out to meet up with Eulalie. The two of them were hashing out final details regarding military equipment that Eulalie had procured when Kisa, who had fallen asleep on a nearby chair, leapt to her feet, startling Leilani.

"He's back!" she declared, then looked at the others. "Mike is home now."

"How did it go?" Beth asked.

Kisa cocked her head to one side, then made a face. "Everybody made it home," she said. "He'll be on his way in just a bit. Apparently, he needs to wash off...you know." The catgirl made a face and pantomimed scrubbing her hands.

Beth sighed and sat back in a nearby chair. She studied the map, then checked a clock that someone had rescued from the rubble and hung on the closest wall. It was almost one in the morning now, and evacuations had been underway for almost two hours. She looked over at a nearby couch where Aurora, who had also been asleep, sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Do we need more coffee?" she asked with a yawn.

"Most definitely." Beth waved at the others. "You hold things down here. We're going to go check in with him."

Aurora nodded, then gave them a small wave as they left. Leilani and Kisa followed Beth past the rubble of Paradise and up the street to their rental apartment. When they opened the door, it was to see Lily and Ratu guarding the portal.

"Is he back?" asked the naga.

"He is," Kisa replied. "And he's tired. I've never felt him this exhausted."

"Then let's go show him a good time." Lily sauntered toward the closet and opened it. Inside, a small portal flickered. She stopped Ratu from going through by holding out a hand and pushing her back, a look of concern on her face.

"What's wrong?" asked Ratu.

"Ladies first," Lily replied, then moved to go through the portal ahead of Ratu. The naga kicked the succubus in the ass, pushing her through.

Cyrus jerked awake when he heard the front door creak open. Sitting immediately upright, he watched in silence as Mike, Yuki, and Dana walked in through the front door. Dana was carrying a backpack which she tossed on the nearest couch. It immediately sprouted a pair of legs and wandered to a different spot.

"How did it go?" asked Cyrus, his voice coming out as little more than a whisper. Having his ribs broken and then inhaling a ton of smoke hadn't helped him any. Neither Yuki or Dana acknowledged him, both women covered in blood and injuries. The two of them walked straight toward the back of the house and disappeared. Mike yawned, then looked over at Cyrus.

"Oh," he said as if surprised. "I almost didn't see you there."

Cyrus waved a hand dismissively. "Not a worry," he said. "The last couple of days finally caught up with me is all. The kids are safe. Zel took Callisto back to her village. Grace is right there." He pointed toward the living room ceiling where a dark bundle had shrunk into the corner, clutching tightly to her doll. "I think she was waiting for you, but fell asleep."

"I see." Mike turned his attention to Cyrus. "Are you...okay?"

Cyrus laughed, which became a rasping cough. "I'd say never better, but we both know I'd be lying."

"Yeah, right." Mike sighed and stared at the ceiling, pain visible in his eyes. "How are the kids doing?"

Cyrus shrugged. "They're pretty resilient, so it's hard to say. I'm surprised you didn't wake her up when you came in."

Mike smiled. "Grace either sleeps heavy or light. There's no in-between. I think heavy is good for now. Where's Bigfoot?"

"Out back. The nymph is pulling bullets out of him."

"It's been a couple of hours, though."

Cyrus laughed. "Apparently it was a lot of bullets. It took me a bit to chase him out of here, actually. He didn't want to leave Grace alone but he kept bleeding all over everything."

Mike gave Cyrus an odd look. "He actually listened to you?"

The mage nodded. "Eventually. He was pretty sullen when we got back, and kept muttering to himself. He seemed far more receptive after Grace fell asleep. I had to keep reminding him that the army of centaurs in the front yard meant that he would know well in advance that trouble was coming. He grumbled something about getting a beer and then got a six pack out of the fridge before going out back. I promised him I would look after the girl as if she were my own."

"Papa Cyrus," Mike muttered, scratching at his chin.

"That's something I told the kids when they were captured. It doesn't mean anything." Cyrus looked down at his hands.

"I think it does, and that's fine." Mike sat in the chair across from Cyrus and stared at the ceiling. "You sacrificed everything for them."

"And I would do it again." Cyrus saw the faraway look in Mike's eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. No. I don't know." The Caretaker looked at his hands. "There was a lot that happened in the facility is all. I guess I'm trying to come to terms with some of it, but it's all very fresh." As he spoke, a yellow fairy squirmed free of his shirt and hovered in front of his face, her hands moving as she said something to him in sign language. "I'll explain later," he said. "Go round up your sisters, please. I know they wandered off when we got home."

"Did you have to kill someone?" Cyrus asked. It was a hard question, but Cyrus felt it needed to be asked. "New recruits often struggle with that. It's part of the reason why the Order dehumanizes their targets, which leads to other problems down the road."

Mike shook his head. "No. It wasn't that. I learned something recently that was only reinforced tonight. When I choose violence, we all lose. So I'm trying real hard to avoid it. My predecessor ruined her life chasing power for the sake of protection. I know we've talked about that."

"The infamous Emily."

"Yeah. Good intentions paved the road to Hell for her. My magic is alive, but not in the way we understand life. Sometimes, I get the feeling that it's watching me, much like an eager child willing to please. It wants to know how to adapt, to learn and grow. But that's an ability that also comes with a heavy cost. When I make decisions that go against who I am as a person, I'm only creating a liability that I'll have to deal with later. It's like a down payment on madness.

"So I've been leaning into my role as a protector, as one who nourishes. The others, their strength lies in being able to do the things that I shouldn't. So when I went to help Yuki and Dana, I stayed back and assisted where I could. There was this spell in the Grimoire, a magical shield of sorts. I kept using it over and over again to keep them safe, but now I feel...empty inside." He let out a long sigh. "And that was just a spell that wasn't trying to draw me in or corrupt me. I can only imagine what would have happened if I had used something more...out of line."

"It's like discovering a new muscle during a workout." Cyrus leaned back in his seat. "Your magical talents are a bit unorthodox to begin with, but I would say this spell sounds very similar in nature to what you typically accomplish. I'm guessing you were able to create this shield at no personal cost."

Mike nodded. "Other than fatigue, yeah. And anger. I have so much anger inside me right now, I'm afraid of what's going to happen next. While I was walking those blood-soaked hallways, all I felt was relief that these men who took my children would never have a chance to hurt anyone ever again. I'm mad that I can't just come home and hold my kids. I'm mad that it seems like there's always somebody out there, lurking in the shadows until they can take what is mine." The Caretaker leaned forward, placing his head in his hands. "And this Great Game business is a lot of bullshit. I have to go fight some centuries-old Frenchman now because he wants dragon eggs."

"Dragon eggs?" Cyrus lifted an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Turns out the dragons left a special clutch behind before they departed our world. An egg from each type of elemental dragon if you can believe it. All I have to do is fertilize the last one and they'll all be born together. I don't even know what that means, but have been told it could restore magic to the entire world."

"Dragons can be very territorial. But clutchmates typically aren't. If these creatures hatch at the same time, they would grow up as playmates rather than potential enemies. The person raising them could accomplish much good. Or darkness, as it were." Cyrus leaned back and sighed. "Think of it. A world with dragons once more."

"Our world still has dragons," Mike countered.

"In a limited sense. Those that exist are hidden away. There's a powerful one that slumbers beneath Yellowstone. Each year, your government plies it with gold to keep it satiated. It's actually one of the cushier gigs a member of the Order can receive." Cyrus coughed, then rubbed at his chest. "Honestly, if I hadn't been disgraced in my final days, I would probably be there now, monitoring a massive dragon and occasionally shoving gold and gems up its nostrils like cocaine."

"Really? Yellowstone?" Mike leaned forward in interest. "I thought it was a supervolcano?"

"Oh, it is. It's also the lair of a really massive dragon that will emerge if it ever erupts. If you've ever wondered if there's gold left in Fort Knox, the answer is no. The US government actually created paper bills because humans care about perceived wealth while dragons want the hard stuff." Cyrus smiled whimsically. "I'm surprised you told me about the eggs. I figured that was the kind of thing you didn't want people to know."

Mike got that odd look again, but it disappeared. "Trust doesn't always come easy to me," he explained. "Sometimes, it's my magic that tells me someone is okay. Other times, I have to rely on my gut. You've proven yourself to me a hundred times over and I only regret that I didn't let you in sooner."

"I probably wasn't ready, if I'm being honest." Cyrus looked up at the slumbering bundle in the corner. "I tried to kill her grandmother when I was younger. I was in charge of the hunt for the last Arachne. Thought I had succeeded, all those years ago. Learning that I hadn't, well...let's just say that would have been much harder to accept if I hadn't seen firsthand just how human she is."

"I get that. For me, I always had trouble with normal people, humans, specifically." Mike stood and glanced outside. "I grew up with one who hurt me in so many ways, it damaged me. The women in this house, they aren't human, yet they accepted me for who I was. So far, the only real monsters I've ever met are other humans. So I guess I came from the opposite direction that you did."

Cyrus sighed. "A lesson I wished I had learned a long time ago."

"But I'm glad you learned it, anyway. Look, I'd better get going. The girls are probably washing off in Naia's fountain before we head for Hawaii. I should do the same." Mike made as if to leave, then paused. "You'll...still be around when I get back, right?"

The old man laughed. "If you think I'm going to leave this place so soon after being invited in, then you must have gotten some screws knocked loose. At the very least, I expect you to give me a proper tour."

"I can't wait to show you the place. By the way, don't go wandering off, and definitely stay out of the basement. There's always a small chance that something has escaped and wants to lure you down there."

Cyrus laughed, then stopped when he saw that Mike wasn't. The Caretaker walked toward the back of the house and left through the back door.

Feeling a little awkward about the interaction, Cyrus maintained his vigil, now unable to sleep. It was nearly thirty minutes later when a spectral figure passed through the door, her lanky hair dangling over her face. The temperature of the room dropped substantially as the spirit cocked her head unnaturally to one side and studied him.

"Je...Jenny?" Cyrus was stunned at the sight of the spirit.

"The wicked witch got away," she whispered as she drifted across the room, her feet dangling just inches above the ground. She floated up toward Grace, then turned to face Cyrus. "You're like me, now."

"I beg pardon?"

"You were lost, but now you're found." The ghost cackled and started singing Amazing Grace as she shrank down and vanished inside of the doll in the Arachne's arms.

Cyrus shivered. He was never going to get used to that.

When Mike arrived at the secret volcano, it was to find Pele waiting for him. Her arms were crossed and she had an amused look on her face.

"I take it you were successful?"

He nodded, then looked around. The village was empty. "Where is everybody?"

"Evacuating my people and the island's tourists. Luckily, most of those hotels and resorts have standardized emergency procedures. Your rat queen has shut down communications in and out of the island, allowing us to localize whatever emergency works best. The people on the west side of the island are under the impression that Japan had a massive earthquake and a tsunami is headed their way. They're headed to reinforced buildings where the rats have installed portals."

"Where do the portals go?"

Pele shrugged. "I can't say for certain. Away from here is all I know for sure. I've heard rumors that some of them are going to underground bunkers on the mainland, while others are sitting in a warehouse somewhere in Ohio. It really doesn't matter as long as they're saved."

Mike nodded and looked up into the starry sky above. "Do you think we'll make it in time?"

The goddess smiled and moved closer, then placed her hand on his chest. "Because of the night marchers, yes. All across the island, the spirits are guiding them to safety. Whether or not they can assist us in the battle ahead is unclear, but they have been quite good at removing people from their homes."

The Caretaker winced. "Removing sounds like a strong word."

"Many have forgotten the old ways. There isn't time to explain." Pele's eyes dropped to Mike's chest. "I sense pain in here," she whispered.

Mike nodded. "I saw a lot of things tonight that I'm going to have trouble with in the days ahead." Behind him, a door opened and Yuki walked out with a crown of fairies in her hair. Dana came shortly after, busy eating something that definitely wasn't beef jerky.

"Oh." Pele took a step back and inspected Yuki. "Another demi-god. I sense great power in this one."

"Not powerful enough." Yuki scowled and ran her fingers through her hair, scattering the fairies. "My name is Yuki Radley. It's a pleasure to meet you." She bowed at the waist, her tails flicking behind her.

"Dana." The zombie spoke with her mouth full. "Don' min meh, ah hungee."

Pele frowned. Mike cleared his throat.

"It's a dietary restriction, not a slight."

The goddess chuckled. "Don't take me for one of the fae, Caretaker. I can recognize a deliberate slight." She paused for a second. "Usually. It's a pleasure to meet you both."

Dana swallowed hard, then smacked her lips. "So where's this Francois guy?"

"In a boat off the shore. We aren't sure which one, and won't know until tomorrow." Pele looked at Mike. "Your...goblin friend assured me that there is a plan, but she wasn't real clear what it is beyond preparations."

"That's because we don't know who we can trust. For all we know, someone with the Order or the merfolk are still talking to him." Mike felt Yuki press into him, her arms going around his waist. "Really, the main plan itself is to lure him out. He's hiding behind all of his forces, but will have to show himself sometime. Even though we've evacuated a bunch of people, the plan is to put up a false defense where the most people would be, convince him that we're scattered. At some point, he'll make his move. Once that asshole shows his face, we'll take him out."

"How?"

Mike shrugged. "Tink probably has five different ways to do it by now. That's probably something we'll figure out in the moment. We also have to figure out how to defeat his guardian."

Pele made a sound of disgust. "I regret that I was unable to destroy that creature. I do not know if it pulls its power from Francois' boat or the ocean itself, but it healed far too quickly for my liking."

"Are you saying we can't kill it?"

Pele shrugged. "I don't know. That will be largely up to Di. Thirty minutes past sunrise, I will be busy triggering an eruption. Ratu will be Di's guide down the mountain to meet the guardian's challenge."

"What's the eruption for?"

The goddess grinned. "Just a little something your lawyer friend came up with. She's a smart one. I like her."

There was a loud thumping sound from one of the nearby huts, followed by Lily pitching face first through the door. She did a quick hand spring, and landed on her feet with her arms in the air like a gymnast.

"Ta-dah!" she declared.

"Everything okay?" Mike asked.

"She's fine." Ratu came out the door next, followed by Leilani and Beth. Kisa was last, the catgirl shutting the door. "Her butt got stuck in the portal is all."

"How dare you!" Lily twisted her rear-end, making it swell up to an unrealistic size. "My butt's not big, it's just the rest of me that's small!"

Mike smiled weakly. "Is everything going okay?"

"Asterion punched a guy out in Lahaina and a bunch of people caught it on their cellphones." Kisa ran to Mike's side and clung to him while Yuki tried to swat her away. "It was a drunk tourist who kept mooing at him."

"What is Asterion doing in Lahaina?"

"It's too well lit," Kisa replied. "The night marchers won't go there and some of the tourists are pushy. Some of the police are family members of Order personnel, so they're helping out."