Lisa Ch. 05a: Only Human

"Did she cut you?" Scott asked, scanning Angus for signs of a wound. Angus shook his head.

"I'm fine," Angus said.

Riley stalked over to where Jessica crouched on all fours. He ran his hands over her, frisking every nook and cranny before pulling her up by her shirt collar.

Jessica dangled above the floor in Riley's grip, he bashed her against the wall, knocking the air out of her. He stuck his face into hers, his contorted face making it obvious that he'd love nothing more than to rip her apart.

"This is the last straw Jessica!" He thundered as his free hand worked his belt free. "I've been bending over backwards to try and help you earn some freedom, avoid receiving the pain you seem so desperate to get ... but this ... this takes us back to square one. You want to be enemy number one Jessica? Fine, be enemy number one. You, me and my belt are going to have a lot of time now to play that game. Let's go!"

Riley carried her by her shirt collar toward the bathroom door. Jessica hung like a dead rabbit in his grasp.

"Wait," Angus said. "Riley ... wait!" he got to his feet and jogged after Riley. Riley stopped just as Angus neared him.

"You're right Angus ... sorry. You go first. I'll finish with whatever is left of her." And he handed Jessica to Angus. Angus took Jessica by the arms, and had to hold her up. She'd become dead weight, and had a look of absolute terror on her face.

"Jim," Angus said turning to Jim. He hesitated before speaking when he saw how grey and destroyed Jim looked. "Is this the first time you returned since leaving to help Josh?"

Jim nodded. "I'm sorry Angus ... I never thought ... I would never have believed ..."

"Take her downstairs Jim," Angus said handing Jessica to him.

"I don't think I can." Jim replied. He sounded wounded, and he wouldn't look at Jessica. Angus turned to Josh and then Scott. Neither one looked any better than Jim.

"Shit." He muttered, and scooping Jessica into his arms, he left the bathroom, and headed for the basement. Downstairs he lay Jessica on the sofa. He stood staring at her for a moment, and she stared back. He shook his head and went back up the stairs.

When Angus left, Jessica rocked back and forth on the sofa in the basement. It had been so long since she'd done anything really useful that she'd jumped at the chance to help Angus. She was surprised that he let her and they'd been working together so nicely. She couldn't understand why Angus had looked so surprised to see her there. She was so confused. She took a deep breath. She had no idea what was going to happen and that worried her. Really worried her.

When Angus returned upstairs, none of the men had left the bathroom.

He found them standing exactly as he had left them.

"Where's Jessica?" Scott demanded.

"Downstairs." Angus replied.

"Downstairs?" Josh asked, "Why are you here?"

"I don't know," Angus said. "I do know that I need a drink. Anyone else?"

"I don't want anything to diminish the satisfaction that I'm going to get from re-educating Jessica." Riley said.

"There's a waiting list here Angus," Josh said in a beaten tone, "would you mind getting on with it. I'd like my turn some time tonight."

"You were gone for well over ten minutes Jim," Angus said. Jim nodded and looked like all he wanted to do was slit his own wrists.

"In those ten minutes, Jessica handed me tools, and cut the piping."

The men's heads seemed to snap up in unison.

"She was coming after you with the saw Angus." Riley said, "We all saw it, first hand."

"Was she holding the piece of piping ahead of her ... like she was about to shove it under the counter?"

Riley opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out.

"Where was the saw?" Angus continued, "Was she actually trying to cut me?"

"Just what the hell are you saying?" Scott demanded. His nerves were shot, and he felt like he was going to puke. The last thing he needed was Angus playing twenty questions.

"I'm saying that for ten minutes, at least, Jessica had access to every tool in that box. She spent that time, handing me tools and cutting the piping."

"You don't think she was trying to kill you?" Jim asked.

Angus couldn't believe he was about to say it, but oddly he felt he had to. "No." he replied.

"You don't think she was trying to escape?" Josh asked.

"Hey, I never said that!" Angus said, holding his hands up in protest, "This has to all be part of her master plan somehow. But just now, she was not trying to kill me." Angus shook his head. He could not believe he'd just spoken those words.

"You're sure?" Riley asked. He felt drained.

"She's still alive, isn't she?" Angus asked.

"Christ!" Jim exploded. "I swear to God Angus, I thought I was going to be away for a second ... I didn't know there was a damn wild dog out there!"

"Jim," Angus said holding up his hand, "it's okay. I should've checked to make sure you'd taken her with you. What kind of dumb ass was I to make myself vulnerable like that?"

Jim looked stunned. "Thanks," he said, not quite believing that Angus was being so understanding about the whole thing. Angus nodded.

"What does this mean then?" Riley asked. When he replayed the scene in his mind ... opening the door, seeing Jessica, he had to admit that the saw was not being held in any threatening manner. She in fact looked like she was about to hand the piping to someone, and the saw just happened to be with her. Even if she'd had no intention of harming Angus, for Riley, Jessica and saws just didn't mix.

"Maybe she doesn't plan on trying to kill her way out anymore?" Josh said. It was a relieving thought.

"She could be trying to lull us into a false sense of security," Angus said.

"Huh?" the men asked simultaneously, looking at him like he'd grown two heads.

"But you just said ..." Jim began to protest.

"I know, I know," Angus said. "Jessica did have every opportunity to harm me if she'd intended to. I'm leaving it at that ... "

"She should have known better than to pick up potential weapons," Riley added.

"Yup," Angus agreed, "we should make that point to her."

Riley looked at Angus from the corner of his eye. This had to be the first time ever that Angus wasn't pulling excuses from thin air for a reason to beat the crap out of Jessica.

"You guys go ahead," Jim said, moving to the bathroom door, "but I need some time to think. I'll be outside getting rid of that dog's body." And he disappeared through the door.

"Another dog?" Angus asked.

"A wild dog. It came from out of nowhere, started chasing down the horses, " Scott replied.

"Must be sick," Angus said. "No way any normal dog would do that in broad daylight ... with people around."

"He doesn't look sick," Riley answered, finding it hard to care much about the conversation. "So, what you're telling me is that you have no plan to punish Jessica for this at all?"

"I guess not," Angus replied. "For some reason I don't feel like punishing her ... for this anyway. Give me a few minutes and I'll find something to come down on her for." He couldn't' explain it ... even to himself. He just didn't feel angry at her for what she did. Maybe that was Jim's problem ... maybe that was why he never felt like punishing her. In fact, didn't he always have some similar argument ... that she could've done A, but instead she did B? Angus groaned ... the fact that he was starting to understand Jim worried him.

"So, you're just going to leave her in the basement?" Riley asked.

"No, one of you are free to take her out. I'm going to finish this damn plumbing."

"Well, hell. She needs to be told what she did wrong. We didn't freak out for nothing!" Riley said. The front door slammed, and seconds later, Jim stormed back into the bathroom.

"It's my night with Jessica ... " Jim stated, "and I'm starting it early. If any of you have something to say to her ... do it now."

"That'd be me then," Riley said, and headed out to the living room.

The others followed. Angus looked at the plumbing, and then the door. The sink could wait. Maybe Jessica would do something that would give him a reason to get mad at her. It was unsettling to not have that purpose. He came into the living room just as Riley led Jessica through the basement door. Her look of misery did nothing to inflame his anger. He fell back against the wall. For once he had no agenda with Jessica. Looking around the room at the other men, Angus could see that they on the other hand, did. He was definitely having a Jim moment, it made him feel off balance.

"Sofa, Jessica, sit." Riley said.

Head bowed, Jessica moved to the sofa, and sat.

Jim lowered himself onto the armchair and buried his head in his hands. He would have his time with her soon enough, and he had no idea what he'd say. He'd effectively betrayed her.

When he saw her with that saw ... he believed ... he knew, without a doubt that she had intended to kill Angus. He'd felt like his heart had been ripped out and trampled. He obviously wasn't as sure of Jessica as he'd thought he was. But he'd felt even worse when he learned that Jessica had not intended to hurt Angus after all.

After the initial pain of betrayal, an anger had swept over him. He'd wanted to inflict some of the pain he'd felt, on Jessica ... what if he had? He glanced up and saw Riley circling around the sofa to stand before Jessica. Hopefully Jessica would be in half decent shape after this, good enough shape that he could get her to say something that would assure him that he could actually trust her ... so he would never have this doubt again.

Scott stood near the sofa and watched Jessica sitting quietly on the sofa. Her face was red from crying. She tried to sniffle as quietly as she could. The terror he'd felt when he'd seen Jessica with the saw was now replaced with relief. If Angus was right, that Jessica had just been helping him ... not intending to hurt him ... then perhaps he had nothing to fear from her himself. It would be nice to not have to live in that constant doubt from day to day. And maybe he had been perfectly safe in those handcuffs the night before.

"Jessica," Riley said.

Josh watched Jessica look up at Riley. Guilt ran through him. She had a tear stained face ... the same tear stained face that she'd had every day for almost the whole first year they'd had her. The worst part was that earlier, in the bathroom, that was the face he himself wanted to give back to Jessica. He'd felt an anger that he hadn't felt for a surprisingly long time. He'd felt doubly angry because of that fact alone. Now he felt nothing but guilt. What if he'd carried out his wishes and then found out that Jessica had only been helping? He would have destroyed any trust she'd had in him.

"Do you know what you did wrong?" Riley asked.

Jessica nodded.

"What was it?"

"I ..." Jessica began, lowering her eyes. They stopped at his pelvis, and she froze.

"Well?" Riley prompted, and then followed Jessica's gaze. Her eyes were frozen on his hand that hung beside him. Riley lifted his hand. His fist gripped his belt, buckle up. Jessica's eyes followed the belt.

"I forgot I had it ..." Riley muttered, but when he moved to put it on, Jessica gasped, reflexively pulling her legs up and hugging them against her chest.

Riley paused. "I'm putting it on Jessica. You're not planning on giving me a reason to use it, are you?"

Jessica shook her head vigorously, and didn't stop until Riley had re-buckled it around his waist.

"You were about to tell us what you'd done wrong." Riley said.

Jessica said something into her chest, where her chin rested. Riley crouched before her. He couldn't bring himself to make her look at him, and speak louder. She was scared, and rightly so. Rather than try to be less scary for Jessica, he'd purposely intended to terrify and abuse her. Somehow his and Angus' roles had reversed, and he had fully intended to carry out Angus' worst, or more.

"I couldn't hear you Jessica, none of us could."

"I was helping Angus," Jessica said.

"With what Jessica?" Riley asked.

"Fixing the sink," Jessica replied.

"No ... I mean what were you using to help Angus?"

"The tools."

"Bingo!" Riley said, but his elation at having her admit the problem lasted for only a moment.

Jessica looked up at him with a blank expression.

"The tools Jessica. You know, screw drivers, wrenches, saws ... that's a down right arsenal. What made you think it'd be alright for you to use them?"

"I wanted to help." Jessica replied.

"You wanted to help ..." Riley repeated, and looked back at Angus. Angus shrugged. He didn't know what to do with this. At the moment he was very confused, more with himself than with Jessica.

"Well that's great," Riley said, "except for one thing." He reached up and grabbed Jessica's forearms. Her eyes widened, but she kept them on Riley's.

"You aren't allowed to help." His tone lacked the conviction he'd wanted it to. He was unnerved by her unwavering stare. He had so wanted change in Jessica's behavior, and now that it seemed to be happening, he was uncomfortable. How real was it?

"Why?"

Riley stared at Jessica.

"Shit!" he heard Scott mutter behind him. From the corner of his eye, Riley he saw Jim look up at Jessica in utter disbelief. Josh began pacing behind the sofa. Riley looked to Angus for some assistance. He hadn't moved, but he was staring hard at Jessica. This was getting weirder by the second. Normally this same question from Jessica would at the very least cause Angus to go into a tizzy, and he himself would be ready to throttle her. Angus wasn't reacting, and Riley had no desire to harm her, just be sure that she wasn't trying to find some way to escape. He turned back to Jessica.

"Is that supposed to be a serious question?" he demanded. The tone of his voice finally caused Jessica to drop her gaze.

"I asked you a question Jessica!" She nodded and managed to raise her eyes up to Riley's chin.

"Yes ... " she said.

"Yes?"

"Yes, a serious question." She whispered.

"I seem to recall an earlier conversation where I told you that you had to earn our trust before you earned the right to help out."

Jessica was nodding.

"So you remember that too?"

Jessica nodded. "But ..."

"But? There's a but in here?" Riley demanded struck by her cheekiness. "Oh no, no, no, " Riley said when Jessica tried to drop her gaze again. "You have more to say, so say it!"

"But ... " Jessica began again.

"Look at me Jessica!"

Jessica swallowed hard, and raised her eyes.

"You were saying?" he asked when her eyes finally moved to his.

"But ... how, how can I earn it?".

"By behaving ... " Riley answered through clenched teeth.

Jessica shrank back against the sofa.

"By staying out of the kitchen, off horses, away from screw drivers, saws, guns, and doing what you're told! How's that for a start!"

"Riley," Jim said.

"What?"

"I think Jessica should go downstairs again."

"What?"

"We need to talk. She should go downstairs."

Riley stared at Jessica.

"You're so lucky!" He growled. "'Take her!" he said, pushing himself to his feet he moved to the kitchen and stood with his hands behind his head. Angus moved past him to the bar. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey, removed the lid and took a swig. He handed the bottle to Riley and watched while Jim led Jessica to the basement door.

"Why didn't you do it?" Riley asked after taking a swig.

"It?" Angus asked.

"You know ... beat the snot out of Jessica. Christ Angus, she broke all the rules ... you of all people should've been tearing her to pieces."

"Hey, what happened to being all warm and fuzzy?" Angus asked.

"That's not funny Angus."

"I wasn't trying to be funny. Oh I get it. I'm only supposed to be warm and fuzzy when it's convenient for you?"

"Be serious will you!"

"Right ... I don't know why I didn't go ballistic. Any other time, I would. But I swear to you Riley, I thought Jim was in the room with me the whole time. She passed me all the right tools, cut the piping to the right size ... she had plenty of time to kill me, and she didn't."

Jim had returned and stood with Scott and Josh, listening to Riley and Angus' conversation.

Angus pointed at them. "Them, maybe you could see her not killing, but me? I've abused her in every way possible. At the very least you'd think she'd look for revenge. She didn't, and I just didn't feel like punishing her for that. That all right with you?"

Riley dropped his head. "Yeah, okay."

He turned to Jim. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

"I agree with Angus." Jim said.

Riley looked from Jim to Angus, and then back again. "Now I've heard it all. I don't know about you guys, but I'd like to start today over again. Start it again, and skip all this weird shit."

"It's not that inconceivable that I would agree with Angus," Jim said. "We used to agree on a lot of things. As for today, I don't want to start it over again. I like it just the way it is. I don't think Jessica should be punished for it."

"Ditto, " Angus said. Riley looked at him and swore. Angus winked at Jim and laughed.

"Okay, now I'm weirded out, " Scott said holding his hand for the bottle Riley still held. Riley handed it to him. Scott took a long pull from it before handing it to Josh.

Josh looked at the white liquid in the bottle. It was three quarters full. "I hope we've got another bottle back there ... this won't be enough." And he threw his head back and gulped.

"So get on with it Jim. That's not what you sent Jessica downstairs for ... " Riley moved to the living room and fell onto the sofa. He looked at his watch. It was only five o'clock, but it felt like midnight. He suddenly felt very tired. Jim returned to the armchair, Scott and Josh sat beside Riley on the sofa, and Angus pulled a chair from the kitchen into the living room. Turning it, he heaved himself onto it.

"I think it's time to start letting Jessica help out more." Jim said.

"Good idea," Angus said, "let's give her a chainsaw and let her clear out some of the deadwood ... I'm sure she'd start with me."

"Ha, ha," Jim said, "Jessica's getting bored, so she's starting to do unpredictable things. I suggest we give her some responsibility. Something that she can put her energy into."

"But like Angus said," Josh said, "what can she do that doesn't pose a risk to us?"

"Do you guys honestly still believe that she intends to hurt us?" Jim asked.

"Just because she didn't take the opportunity today, doesn't mean she won't another time." Angus said.

"This was one act of co-operation from her Jim," Riley said, "she has a history of many, many, attempts at hurting us."

"Attempts?" Scott asked incredulity in his voice.

"Okay, so she has successfully caused us harm ... " Jim conceded.

"Some of us ... she has successfully caused some of us harm." Scott corrected.

"Amen," Angus added.

"Okay ... I get it. Her past behavior makes it hard to believe that she won't do it again," Jim said his voice thick with impatience. "But today she had a perfect opportunity and she didn't take it. I say that the more positive the response she gets from us about that, the more likely she is to repeat the behavior."

"So, what do you suggest we let her do?" Riley asked. He'd never felt so unsure of himself before. For the first time that he could remember, he didn't know exactly what to do with her.

If Jessica were a dog, what Jim said made sense. Positive reinforcement worked like a charm. But Jessica was no dog, she'd proved that more than once. He had told Angus to play along with Jessica and they would deal with her attempts to escape as they came along ... if he followed his own advice, what Jim was suggesting made even more sense.