Marsha and Gary Blackwell

Letting the blanket slip to the floor I spun around and let my still shod feet touch the floor, "That's right."

She asked, "Care to explain why?"

"Not till I have some of this coffee." I hefted the mug and took a healthy slurp. It was hot! I muttered, "Mm m that's good."

Marsha repeated, "Care to explain now?"

"Sure, why not. It's a beautiful day; suns shining, not a cloud in the sky...

She interrupted me, "How would you know. You just woke up."

"Checked the weather reports last night, supposed to be a perfect day so..."

She tried to interrupt again, "Shut up..."

"No," I cut in, "You shut up. We're all getting cleaned up and dressed, at least you all are. I'll be wearing what I have on now. Then we're all going for a ride."

"A ride? And just where did you have in mind?"

"Down I81 to the Luray Caverns for starters. If we have time we'll go on down to see the museum near VMI. If we don't we'll spend the night at a Hampton and do it tomorrow. We might even stop and visit the Normandy Memorial at Bedford. Did you know...?"

She cut me off at the pass, "You've got it all planned don't you?"

I nodded, "Uh huh."

"Well," she said as she got up, "You're not even supposed to be here."

I sat back and countered, "I am though."

She riposted, "I think you should leave now."

I took another sip of coffee, "Maybe you should come over here and sit down?"

She got all belligerent; arms akimbo she said, "If you don't leave I'll have to call..."

I shot that down before it came out. I pointed to the space beside me on the sofa, "Come over here and sit down."

"What?"

"You heard me. Get over here."

"I will not."

I started to get up to get her, "I said..."

She came over and sat on the extreme edge of the sofa, "What is it you want?"

I replied, "No Marsha. The question is; what do you want?"

She said, "I want you to leave."

I snapped back, "That's not what I meant," she started to open her mouth but I kept going, "The way I see it you have three choices. One you can save your family, let me raise my children with you, and give our fifth child you're carrying the father he or she is entitled to. Two you can really demand that I leave, but if you do you'll get the paperwork I have in the car, and then things really will be over. Or three you can pretend you still hate me, but then you'll never forgive me while you keep on wallowing in self-pity. That last thing, by the way, I won't let happen.

"You think you're something don't you," she answered.

I answered, "I don't think. I know. I know I'm the father of four children, soon to be five. I know I'm your husband. I know you love me, and I know I'm an imperfect man."

She was boiling. It felt good to see it. She responded, "You think you can walk in here after what you did and dictate terms to me?"

I said, "I have, and I just did. So what's it going to be?"

She just sat there staring at me. I waited what I thought was an appropriate amount of time, got up, and said, "I'll go get the paperwork."

She got up and stood in front of me, "You betrayed me. You broke our vows. You lied to me."

I answered, "I did betray you. I did break our vows. I committed adultery, and I even lied to you about the carjacking, and I've apologized over and over again, and I've sworn never to do anything like that again. Now if you'll stand aside I'll go get the papers and we'll finish this off," I stepped to the side to get to the door.

She side stepped too and blocked me again, "You think I can forgive you and things will go back to the way they were, and what makes you think the baby I'm carrying is yours anyway?"

I stopped. I put my hands on her shoulders and I said, "You're a Christian, you have to forgive me. And no, things can never go back, but we can and will go on, either together as a family or separately. And about our fifth baby. I know she or he is mine, because I know you. Besides I know when it happened. So what's it going to be; a fresh reboot where we pick up the broken pieces of the candy dish and really fix it, or a clean, once and for all break?" I side stepped again and restarted for the door. This time she didn't try to interpose herself. I guessed it really was over.

Just as I reached the door I heard her softly say, "Maybe we could start at Harper's Ferry and make a week of it?"

I stopped at the door.

~~~V~~~

Things worked out differently the next several days. We did start at Harper's Ferry and stood on the Jefferson Stone. We went to Bedford and saw the D Day Memorial, we toured the Luray Caverns, the V.M.I museum, and capped it all off with a walk down to the Natural Bridge. Jamie carried along the Shelby Foote's I'd gotten him, and we looked up the section that dealt with the V.M.I. battle. We all laughed about the many movies that covered it in one form or another. Even Marsha laughed.

How did things work for Marsha and me? First, we needed to borrow her dad's minivan. She went to get it, but I insisted that I ride along. I waited outside while she went in and got the keys. No one came out; not grand mom or granddad. I admit it, I was looking for a fight.

Each night we stayed at either a Hampton or a Marriot so we got a good breakfast every morning and clean sheets every night. We got two rooms; one for the boys and one for Marsha, Meadow and I. I had to get up a couple times the first night to keep the boys in line.

We were out four nights and five days. School didn't matter, what we were doing was more important. Each night we got rooms with two queen or king sized beds. The first night Marsha and Meadow slept together while I slept right next to them. The second night Marsha was so tired and sore from all the walking she laid with me while I massaged her back and distended belly. The third night was a repeat of the first, but that night Marsha let me listen to our baby's heartbeat. I got to feel him or her move too. The last night after I massaged her Marsha and I sort of spooned and cuddled. We never said anything any of the nights, but that last night we did stay close and we hugged and lightly kissed. Not once the whole time did Meadow try to join us in bed. I saw her with the boys each day. I think they were going over what they should say and how Meadow should behave at night. No one mentioned anything about all the trouble we'd been having.

The final showdown...

When we got home we got the kids in bed, and then Marsha and I had our little talk.

She started, "I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you Gary. You hurt me. You hurt me really bad."

I replied, "I know. I know I hurt you. I've been apologizing and begging you to let me come back home for a long time, and I'm sorry, I can't do it anymore. I'm flawed. I'm imperfect. I broke the dish. It can't really be fixed, but it can be replaced."

"You're asking a lot Gary. I don't know..."

"I do know Marsha. We're Christians sweetheart..."

She tried to interrupt, "Don't call me..."

I interrupted her, "I will call you sweetheart. You are my sweetheart. Nothing you can say can stop that. Now where was I? We're people who believe. God forgives. Sure we're not God, but we're supposed to try. Jesus offered a convicted felon eternal life while both were on the cross. Peter lied and denied Christ three times, not once but three times. What did Jesus say and do Marsha?"

She wouldn't say anything so I told her, "He found Peter on the water fishing. Three times he asked Peter, 'Do you love me?' Three times Peter said he did. Three times Jesus forgave Peter. He forgave him his three denials. Peter failed, but Jesus forgave. I failed Marsha. If you can't forgive and let me come back home then I have to leave. Is that what you want? You want me to leave? You want me to leave so you can marry Cullen Willoughby?"

She rolled her eyes on that one, "Maybe if you came home and stayed downstairs."

I replied, "No, if I come home I'm sleeping with my wife."

She fudged, "You wouldn't, you couldn't..."

I told her, "If I come home, I come all the way home. I'd want the whole package. I'd want my kids, my house, my wife, and I'd expect to be able to enjoy the love and intimacy that goes with marriage."

She mumbled, "Well I guess..."

I said, "No Marsha, no guessing. If we're in, we're in all the way."

"I'll still probably get mad at you from time to time."

"I'd expect that. I'd be surprised if you didn't."

"I suppose I'll have to talk to Cullen."

"Yes," I said, "You will."

"He'll be disappointed."

"This is my family not his. You're my wife, not his, and your mom and dad..."

She cut me off, "I already straightened that out."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"What about your brother Steven?"

She said, "I'll take care of him."

I said, "Good. I'll call Dr. Whiting, and I'll pay off all the remaining legal fees."

Then she finished, "You'll never..."

I stopped that one, "No never. You can count on it." I took her hand in mine. It was time to start anew. We went upstairs to our bed.

An Epilogue...

A few weeks later our fifth child arrived, a little girl. We named her Maria Elizabeth after a girl who was sainted for her qualities of forgiveness and for John the Baptist's mother. Of course I love all my children, but I'd be a liar if I didn't admit Maria Elizabeth has a special place in my heart.

About us, about Marsha and me. She still had a hard time. I wasn't just some guy she'd married, I'd been her Prince Charming. I'd broken a lot more than a candy dish. It's been awhile now, and we're still working at it, but we have the kids, and most especially we have each other.

And what about me? Me, oh yeah. What was it I needed to do? I needed to stand up and be a man. I had to stake out my ground and stand or fall based on what I wanted and what I believed.

I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about courage. There's all kinds of courage. A policeman risks his life when he's out rounding up criminals. There's the fireman who dashes into a burning building to save some helpless kid. A soldier puts on the uniform and goes off to war.

Well I never ran into a burning building. I've never worn a uniform of any kind. I've never even fired a rifle or gun, not even to hunt. But just the same I had to take a stand. Was I scared, I'll say, but I had to risk all to gain all, and I won. But I was lucky; I had a wife who loved me.

So that's about it. See ya.

The end...

*****

A note from Jedd Clampett...

This is one of several longer stories I've been grappling with. I hope you enjoyed it. Vote of you like. Leave a comment. All comments will be accepted and read. One concern though. Sometimes I get a really good anonymous comment that I'd like to acknowledge. You can stay anonymous but you could also leave a name, any name. You could even send me a private note using the Literotica system. Then I could ask you for more information about your thoughts.