No More "What if"

"Come in and sit down," I said, pulling him by the hand into my living room. "Do you want a coffee? I've got the pot ready to turn on."

His grin was slow, but real. "I'd love one."

I was soon back on the couch, beside him but facing him, my legs curled up underneath me. I just grabbed one of his hands in mine, then waited for him to start talking.

"You were right. I hadn't even let myself think about how unhappy I was in my marriage until after we talked. I realized I hadn't been happy in years, other than for the moments with my kids. But I didn't want to drag them through the nastiness of divorce, so I tried talking to Julie, tried to work things out. Greer started to lash out, and Bronwyn started to complain about stomach aches and hardly ate anything. That's when I realized the stress was worse for them than a divorce would be. So I moved into my folks' place until I can find a place to rent."

He'd said all of this while looking down at the floor. Now he raised his eyes to look at me. I squeezed his hands. "I'm sorry for the pain you've gone through, but I'm glad you made a decision. It sounds like it's probably the best one for everyone. Not that the next few months will be easy, but in the long run you'll all have less stress. Will you get the kids every second week, or on weekends, or have you not figured that out yet?"

He let out a long breath. "I told her I want them every second week. My parents are great, and will help me with looking after them after school, and anytime I can't be home. I don't want to be one of those 'weekend only' Dads."

"Good for you," I said. "And I'm glad your parents are supportive. That will make all the difference in the world. Do they live nearby?"

He nodded. "About fifteen minutes away. Mom is retired, and will be more than happy to come as often as I need her. Look - I really appreciate everything you said when I came up last time. I needed that nudge to take a good look at my life. I think I was slowly dying inside, and didn't even realize it."

"I'm glad to help. Not that I want to be a marriage-wrecker."

He laughed. "You can't wreck what's already broken. You just helped me see it. You don't mind me coming here today? I'm not going to be the best company."

"No! I'm glad you came! Here there are no reminders of your marriage, and nobody but me knows you, so you don't have to worry about running into people you aren't ready to talk to. We can take it easy, or we can go out and do something...whatever you need. Let me get you a coffee."

When I walked back in with his coffee, Jake had slid down and was looking pretty chill on my couch. He took the coffee with a happy grin, and I settled back down beside him.

"You know what I'd love to do?" he asked. "Play cards. Just like we did when we met. The only thing I'd have to think about is my next move, and how to beat you."

"Sounds perfect!" I agreed. "Just give me a few minutes." Setting a lit match the firewood I kept ready in my fireplace, I got a blazing fire going to ward off the January chill. I put on my favourite jazz playlist for a relaxing soundtrack, and pulled out a pack of cards. We played on the couch, with our cards on a hardcover atlas on the cushion between us. As the hours passed I saw stress leave Jake's face. We chatted and joked as we had twenty years ago. It was like being with a good friend again, even though we'd only had those two days together. At 1:00 I realized I phoned for a pizza. After we ate we each stretched out on a couch to digest while we continued to talk. Our heads were at the sofa ends closest to one another, and at one point Jake reached out his hand to grab mine. It felt so right, holding his hand. After I told a story about when my career really came together for me, Jake said nothing for quite a while. I looked over, and saw that he had fallen asleep.

I covered him up with a blanket I kept on the back of the couch. Poor guy was emotionally drained. I hoped his sleep was untroubled by dreams about his separation. Not wanting to make any noise that would disturb him, I took my laptop up to my bedroom. I spent a couple of hours sitting on my bed doing banking and social media while Jake slept. I went down and checked on him a couple of times, unable to really believe that after all these years we had reconnected and he was laying on my couch.

By 6:00 I was watching a movie on Netflix, and was startled when Jake appeared in my doorway.

"You woke up!"

"Finally," he said, coming over to sit beside me on the bed. "I'm sorry; that's not how I wanted to spend my time at your place."

"Don't worry about it; you were obviously exhausted."

"I guess I should start back home. It's dark, and snowing a bit. The roads back home can be horrible when it's snowing; I don't want to wait too late." He didn't sound at all enthused about the idea.

"Why don't you just stay here for the night? I've got lots of room. You could take tomorrow off; surely they would be fine with that at work, since you just separated from your wife this weekend. Then you can have a bit more time to chill before heading back to where all the stress is, and back to the decision-making."

"Really? That sounds like such a great option. I don't know if I should be so excited to escape my new life."

"It's not an escape; it's staying safe on a dark, snowy night, and getting a night of rest before heading home to the tough stuff. The kids are with Julie, right? No one needs you to come home tonight?"

Jake shook his head.

"Good, then. I'll make us some dinner."

"Can I help?" he asked.

"You can sit in the kitchen and keep my company," I replied.

He ended up helping, happy to chop vegetables for me while I prepared the meat. We worked well together, and I couldn't help wishing we could do this again. Regularly.

We followed up dinner with glasses of wine in the living room, and our talk turned serious again. I shared things with Jake that I had never told anyone else about my marriage, and about who I had become. I even told him about my Literotica account, and let him read one of the stories I'd written.

I could see him becoming aroused, and noticed that he occasionally glanced over at my breasts as he read. Like myself, my characters were always well-endowed. When he finished and closed the computer, he looked over at me with raised eyebrows.

"I see that marriage with you would have been a lot different, if this is the way you think!" he said.

I smiled slyly. "You enjoyed that, then?" I asked. I'm an author; I enjoy positive feedback on my work. Ok, and I was curious to hear how it affected him.

"Enjoyed it? I just about...well, you know that Julie hasn't put out in years. It just about put me over the edge." His eyes kept dropping down to my breasts.

I edged closer. "I can't let you sit there like that, Jake."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll..." he was embarrassed, and turning away.

I couldn't help but laugh. "No, that's not what I meant. I meant I can't let you sit there, turned on and uncomfortable; I am more than happy to help you."

His eyebrows jumped up. "You are? I mean, you want to..."

Apparently I'd shocked him.

"Jake, you wouldn't be cheating on Julie; you left. You haven't been loved properly in what, twelve years? I can't see any reason not to."

His face showed the battle he was experiencing.

"It's not sympathy sex. I want you. I was attracted to you twenty years ago, and I am attracted to you now. Had things turned out differently, we might even be married. Why would we not do this?"

Apparently something I said convinced him. He turned to face me completely and, holding my face in his hands, kissed me with hunger and urgency. I kissed him back eagerly, knowing this first time wouldn't last long with Jake in this state. We could take our time on round two.

As his warm lips crushed mine I slid my hands under his hoodie, running my hands over his firm pecs, and squeezing his erect nipples. He gasped, his mouth leaving mine to take in air. I used the opportunity to pull his sweatshirt up; he helped by raising his arms and pulling it the rest of the way off. I gazed at his chest, running my fingers through the curly hairs and regularly flicking his nipples. Jake responded by lifting up my shirt and squeezing my breasts. That wasn't enough for me; I needed my sweater and bra to be gone, and whipped them off as quickly as I could.

Jake pulled back enough to take in the sight of me topless. As a D38, that still didn't leave much room between us. He hesitated too long, so I took his hands and placed them on my breasts. He squeezed them, staring like a starving man. Putting my hands behind his head, I gently guided his head down so that his lips met my nipples. He sucked them in, causing us both to groan. As he sucked he continued to squeeze; I could feel liquid pooling between my legs as I watched him suck on my tits. This was something I hadn't thought I'd get to see. Damn, it was hot to see him there.

As he continued to suck I reached down to undo his zipper. He flinched when I touched his jeans; his cock was so ready that he could barely handle that small contact. Letting my nipples drop, he gasped out, "I'll get it," and struggled out of his jeans and boxers, his erect cock slowing him down somewhat. While I watched him, I got out of my tights and underwear, ready for him.

He looked up at my face. "I'm not going to last long, I'm sorry."

"Of course you're not. You've been deprived. This first one is a quickie; after we recover we'll do it again, slower."

He looked relieved, and turned to look down at my pussy. Reaching out, he rubbed me gently with one hand. "Do you know how long it's been since I've even seen a pussy?" he asked.

Damn Julie.

"You're going to do more than just see this one", I said, laying back and pulling him on top of me. I grabbed a condom that I had stuffed between the cushions earlier, in hopes that this would happen. Watching his face while I slid it on him, I took great satisfaction in seeing his pleasure at my touch. Sliding one hand around to his tight buttocks, and guiding him into me with the other, he soon filled me. His eyes were closed and his breathing erratic as he felt a tight pussy for the first time in years.

He slid in and out desperately, feeling those sensations that he'd had to imagine while getting himself off since his youngest daughter's birth. I met his thrusts with my own, and ran my hands over his strong back, squeezing his buttocks when I reached down.

"I'm coming," he grunted, and his body jerked and spasmed on mine as he spilled into me. We lay there for several minutes as he panted and waited to get his breath back.

"I'm sorry that was so quick," he apologized. I slapped a bare butt cheek.

"Stop it! We both knew you would come quickly the first time. We were trying to get you off. This time we're going to do this for the enjoyment of it, rather than just the end result. Give me the condom, and I'll throw it out."

Sitting up, he pulled it off and handed it to me. I walked to the bathroom, feeling his gaze on my bare backside. Walking back into the living room, I appreciated his appraisal of my naked front.

"Come on up to my room where we can be comfortable," I said, holding out my hand for his. He joined me, threading his fingers through mine, and we walked to the stairs. Walking a step ahead of him but still holding his hand, I swung my hips a little, wanting to give him a show. He must have enjoyed it, as his free hand was soon running over my bare cheeks.

"God, you're beautiful," he murmured.

At my bedside I turned to face him, gently kissing his lips and rubbing up against his still-erect cock. I ran my hands down his muscular shoulders and arms. "You are so hot," I whispered to him.

"I love your naked body," he whispered back, rubbing my breasts with his hands. He moaned. "Your bare pussy feels so good rubbing against my cock," he said. "It's so silky. Warm and wet. I just want to bury myself in you."

He gently lay me down on the bed, and propped himself on his elbows over top of me. He was the first man I was with apart from my husband, and yet it felt so right, so natural to be with him. I closed my eyes and just let myself feel as he sucked and squeezed, enjoying my breasts. I ran my fingers up his body to his head, and gently rubbed his ears to let him know I was in the moment with him.

"Your breasts are perfect," he said, his voice husky as he took a break from sucking on them. He tweaked a nipple with his fingers, sending a jolt through me and making me twitch. I opened my eyes, and saw him grinning "And so responsive," he added. "You had great breasts twenty years ago, but I think they're even bigger now, aren't they?" I nodded.

He moved his hands down, running them across my stomach and down my hips. "I remember your legs from back then, too; you wore shorts, and I noticed that they have great shape to them."

"These stubby little things?" I blurted out. My legs had never been a body part I'd given any thought to. Being so short, next to my 5'9" best friend, no one had ever commented on my legs before. Now Jake was running his hands over them, reverently. Amazing.

I reached down to one of his amazing body parts. "I imagine this is the same size as when we met, but I didn't see it then. It's perfect." I ran my hand down it, then back up with more pressure. Jake's eyes met mine and his hands came back up to my waist.

"You can't know how good it feels to have you touch me. Julie was never big on touching me. Sorry. So it's like the first time for me."

"You'll have to tell me to stop when you've had enough," I teased. "I might not let go all night."

"No complaints from me," Jake replied with heat. "Sounds like a night from my dreams."

I continued to stroke him, and then was hit with a thought. There was something I was pretty sure his wife would never have done for him, based on what he had said about her. I rolled us so that he was underneath me. I kissed and licked my way down his torso, continuing until I was facing his erection.

"What are you...?" He wasn't even able how to finish the question as I wrapped my lips around his cock.

Keeping eye contact with him, I licked up the length of his cock, from base to tip. His eyes widened as I my tongue reached his head, and he gasped in a deep breath. I couldn't help from grinning, before lowering my eyes to my project and sucking it into my mouth. Squeezing his balls gently in one hand, I began sucking up and down his cock, drawing it as far into my mouth as I could. Jake's groans were music to my ears.

Opening my mouth, I gently ran my teeth up the length of his erection, moving my lower jaw so that my teeth slid back and forth on his sensitive member. His hands grabbed my hair; I held my head still and sucked gently on the head as I looked up at him. He was gazing up, and he looked as though he had seen heaven open. I lowered my gaze and continued to lick and suck, giving him the best blow job I knew how to give.

"I'm going to...can you...on your tits," he gasped out. Understanding, I gave his cock one last strong suck, then sat up a bit so I could continue squeezing him with my hand, and get my tits in place for him to cum on. As soon as he began shooting out and I saw that I had him aimed in the right direction, I watched his face. How often do you get to see a guy's first blow-job orgasm? I didn't want to miss it, and was glad I didn't. He was in shock, and enjoying his second orgasm of the evening, from a woman, after years of getting nothing.

He sprawled on my bed, all gloriously male and muscular, spent and happy. I crawled up beside him, and gently rubbed his cheek. "Enjoying yourself?" I asked.

"You have no idea," he responded. "I never knew sex could be like this. This is why they call it making love. I never got that before."

"Well, I am happy to be your guinea pig as you discover how great sex can be," I whispered. We fell asleep, naked and side-to-side. When I woke the next morning, around the time I normally left for work, I texted my boss to say a friend had an emergency that weekend and I would be late as I was helping out. It wasn't a lie. I put my phone down and watched Jake sleep. Fifteen minutes later, either his natural clock woke him or he sensed he was being watched. His eyes opened, and the initial confusion soon cleared to a memory of what had happened last night.

A slow smile spread across his face. "Good morning, beautiful," he said groggily.

"Good morning, sexy," I responded, kissing him. He kept my lips busy for several minutes, obviously enjoying that morning greeting.

"Let me go put some coffee on; I'll be right back," I told him. The house was chilly so I worked as quickly as I could.

When I returned, he hadn't moved from where he lay, his hand still behind his head the way it had been. The only part of him that had moved was the 7 thick inches that now stood at attention.

"Now how about that slow and tender action we talked about last night?" he asked. I was happy to oblige.

Over the next few months, any weekend he didn't have his kids either he was at my place or I was at his new apartment. I tried to make up to him his lost years, and he really seemed to appreciate the effort. It was amazing to see his self-esteem grow as I continuously told him he was attractive, and proved it with my actions.

Six months later I was offered a job in Picton and made the move.

Hi kids are slowly adjusting to me; I think it helps to see their Dad happier than they've ever known him. His relationship with Julie is civil, and our relationship is sizzling. No more 'what ifs' for us.