On the Run Ch. 02

"Of course, Ms. North. Come on in," my mother politely said.

"Thank you," she answered with the same warm smile, "and please, call me Kate."

We took place in the living room and she immediately got to business. "Your friend told me all about the case. What happened, how it happened and how your lives are right now." From the moment she said that, we both knew she was aware that my mom and I were a couple. Yet she didn't say anything about it, instead she continued. "And I would like very much to take on this case for free."

That was something neither of us was expecting. "For free?" my mother asked. "Why exactly?"

"Because just like your daughter, I'm a transgender." Another surprise. I would never have guessed she was one. She had a slender, feminine body. Small breasts and a cute face with bright blue eyes. "And a case like this is important to me personally. Being a transgender can be a hard life. Especially when you are a victim of abuse. I can't stand seeing someone like me get hurt just because she's a bit different. That's why I will fight for her, for you. From what I've heard, I believe you have a chance of winning this. There are a lot of factors that are of use to you and I hope that you would let me help you."

My mother and I looked at each other. It sounded like a good idea to have a lawyer who knew what it was like to live like a transgender. "Have you had any cases similar like this?" my mother asked.

"I had one similar yes, which I won and many other cases, most of which I also won."

"And you truly believe you help us win this one too?" She nodded. "Do you mind if we ask you a few questions, professionally of course."

"Not at all," she said.

My mother asked the same questions she asked the other lawyers. We wanted to have a lawyer we felt comfortable with and with each question she became more appealing. About half an hour later, she had answered the last question and my mother looked at me again. There was no real reason to speak. We both knew we wanted her as our lawyer. Even though I felt like there was something she wasn't saying, I knew she was our best chance.

"We would love it if you want to be our lawyer, Kate," my mom said and Kate's face lit up.

"Thank you, Ms. Knight."

"How will this trial work?" my mother asked. It was the first time for either of us to go to court.

"The date on your letter will just be for paperwork. They have to know who's defending you, who's defending the opposite side and who will be judging. There will be no questions yet. Since there's no actual person to go up against, there will just be another lawyer assigned by the court itself who will ask questions. As for the testifying part, that will probably be divided into parts. I think you'll have to testify first," she said to my mother, "and then a few days later you will have to too," she then said to me.

"Personally, I think that's a good thing. It means we have some days if not weeks in between to talk and plan. Now, other people can testify as well if you want this. I have asked Elizabeth and she'd like to if that's all right with you. This will probably also happen a few days after Diana has testified. The verdict will probably fall that same day."

That was a lot of information to take in at once. "Now, if you want," she continued, "we can start right now."

"That sounds great, but there is one thing I have to ask you first," my mom said. She had to ask the question that was floating in both our minds. "What about the fact that I am in a relationship with my daughter?"

She smiled. "What they don't know won't hurt them. Even though you're both adults, relationships between family members is a tricky thing. It's not legal everywhere and even if it was, the judges might consider it a bad thing. I personally think that it doesn't matter who you love, even if that person is blood related, but the court may disagree, so I think it's best if we don't mention it."

That was one of the most important things to us. We had already figured that we had to hide our relationships, but it was nice knowing that our lawyer didn't have a problem with it.

For the next month, most of our free time went to talking to Kate. If we weren't working in our store, we were either at her practice or at home discussing. We told her everything. Even more than I told Liz and it felt good to let it all out, both for me and my mom. We had hidden this thing for so long, cropped up everything inside us and now, being able to tell someone gave us a form of release. We definitely weren't in the clear yet. There was a long way to go, but being able to talk to someone was something we both needed.

What Kate said was right. The first time we had to show up was to do some paperwork and see who would be judging. The lawyer we were up against was a random one. As for who would make the final verdict, there were four persons. The judge, a psychiatrist and two other random people. Each and every one of us was female.

We did the paperwork and learned that our next appointment was two weeks later. It would be my mother's turn first.

Preparing for this trial was hard on everyone and it was visible in our household. Our lives for the past five years, since my mom and I were a couple and we found this town, were pretty much sunshine and rainbows. They were the best years of my life. Yes, we were far away from everything and everyone we knew and hiding, but we were happy.

But now, having to remember what happened long ago, having to remember how our lives were with him took a toll. The rainbows and sunshine made way for a grey sky. The smiles and laughs we shared daily grew strange to us. The happy and fun days, both at home and at work became alien. And the daily sexual encounters we had dropped to almost nonexistent. If not for the love and the strong bond we shared, I wouldn't have seen us get through this in one piece.

Much too soon, the day arrived and my mother took place in the front of the room. For 18 years, both of us had to go through daily abuse, either getting beaten or name calling and I thought I knew everything that happened at home. But what I heard that day was unbelievable. It was even worse. My mother told things I never knew and there was one question in particular she answered that I would never forget for the rest of my life.

The opposing lawyer asked, "If things were so bad, why didn't you leave earlier?"

My mother's head turned to me and she had this look in her eyes telling me she didn't want me to hear what she was about to say and that she was sorry.

"Ms. Knight, did you hear the question?"

"I couldn't leave," my mother answered.

"Why not? It seems to me you had reasons enough."

"Let me ask you something. Do you have children madam?"

"I'm sorry ms. Knight, but I'm the one asking..."

"Please just answer my question," my mother interrupted. "Hopefully you'll understand why I couldn't leave."

The lawyer looked at her in silence for a few seconds before finally answering. "Yes, I have two children."

"And does your husband love them? Does he kiss and hug them every day? Does he help them with their homework or hold and comfort them when they cry?"

"Yes he does."

"And what about you? Does he love you? Does he ask about your day? Does he make you dinner when you had a hard day at work? Does he spend sweet and tender nights with you and can you hold him, knowing that you're safe and loved in his arms?"

"Yes," the lawyer answered a bit embarrassed.

"Then with all due respect, you don't know what it's like to live with a monster. You don't know what it's like to come home in fear of what might happen, to be scared everyday of the thought that your baby girl might be beaten again for just being who she is."

"Were things always like this?" the lawyer asked.

"Yes. At first, he didn't beat her as much. I should have left him from the first time he laid a finger on her, but I was stupid. It was from the moment Diana started hormone therapy that he became really aggressive. That's when he started hitting me as well. He was much stronger than me so there wasn't much I could do. It took a long time before I finally had the courage to stand up to him.

We were in our bedroom yelling at each other. He had beaten Diana for no reason yet again. I threatened with a divorce and he snapped. He hit me, forced me down on the bed and raped me. He told me that if I ever left him or even thought about it that he would find us and do horrible things to my daughter."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I knew he beat her, but I never knew he raped her. My eyes were watering.

"After he used me, he laughed and told me never to disobey him again. I was crying, knowing that I couldn't get my daughter out of his reach. That was the first time he raped me."

"He did it more than once?" the lawyer asked.

"Yes. He raped me countless times over the years. Sometimes he did it for no reason, but most of the time it was because I tried to pull him away when he was hurting Diana. And I am ashamed to admit that there were times in the beginning that I didn't stop him when he was hurting her. I had been selfish because I was scared that he would hurt me too. Those were the nights I cried myself to sleep, knowing I could have stopped him but didn't.

It broke my heart seeing my daughter cry everyday and it took far too long for me to realize that I didn't care what happened to me, as long as he stayed away from Diana. It helped only a little. But when I saw he was about to violate her, I had to do something. I didn't think and just grabbed the statue."

Everybody was silent before she added, "I never meant to take his life. I may have hated and despised him, but murder never crossed my mind."

The ride home was quiet. Her story kept haunting my mind. I couldn't pay much attention to the rest after her confession. It tore me up inside. I didn't even notice when we arrived home. I mindlessly took of my seat belt but didn't get up. I heard the sound of my mother's door opening and closing again. It sounded far away. "Diana?" she said. I mumbled something inaudible. "What?"

"I'm sorry," I said while a tear rolled down my cheek. "I'm sorry I made him hurt you."

"No, don't be. It wasn't your fault. I don't want you thinking like this. I can't have you thinking like this."

"But it's true. If it wasn't for me he wouldn't have hurt you."

"No, that's not true. Please stop saying that." Her voice sounded soft and hurt but I kept going.

"Yet it is. If I had just been a boy like I was supposed to, none of this would have happened. I'm just a fake girl."

"Stop it," she said.

"No, I'm..." I continued and turned to her. What I saw shut me up and broke my heart. She was crying. Her tears fell like waterfalls. I hadn't seen her cry in five years. "Mom?" I placed my hand on her wet cheek.

She placed her hand on top of it and shook her head. "Stop saying such things," she cried. "You're the most beautiful girl in the world. Nothing is your fault."She started weeping harder. "I can't let you think things like that. I need you. You're my everything. I love you. Don't blame yourself. Please don't. I can't live without you. I need you. I... I'm..."

Her tears took over her ability to speak. I started crying too. I couldn't stand seeing my mother like that. I gave her a long kiss and I felt her hands grabbing me tightly. I broke the kiss and let my forhead lean against hers. "It's okay, mom," I said in tears. "I'm here. I'll always be here. I love you."

We held each other as we both cried for a while. She was defeated. She had put up a wall, hiding her pain and emotions from me, but now it had been torn down and I could see just how much she had really suffered. Her heart had been broken time and time again and her body had been used for much too long."

I held her tight and whispered sweet and loving things in her ear, letting her know I was there for her. Gradually her crying slowed down until she was just sobbing. I helped her inside and put her in bed. In the blink of an eye she fell asleep. I joined her and gave a kiss on the top of her head.

"Sleep tight, mom." Then I held her and fell asleep too.

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I awoke to an empty space the next morning and found her drinking some coffee in the kitchen. I was afraid that she would be mad about the day before but when I entered the room, she greeted me with a warm smile and a soft "Hi."

I sat down next to her, a bit ashamed. "I'm sorry about what I said yesterday. I didn't mean to upset you."

She took my hand in hers and rubbed it with her thumb. "That's quite alright honey. It's a hard time for both of us."

"And I'm also sorry in general. For what you had to go through all these years."

"Thank you honey. I just want you to know that I need you now more than ever."

"I know, mom. I'm here and I'll do everything I can."

She gave me a loving kiss. A kiss I felt in my stomach. "I know you will."

And I meant it. I would do everything I could. But being the person I was, shy and silent, the closer the day came, the more nervous I became. We had spent a lot of time with Kate preparing, yet the day before I had to testify, I feared I would mess it up. My mom said Kate probably had some tips and that I should go over. Kate told us we could visit anytime we had questions or a problem. Her practice was at her home, so that's what I did. I drove to her home, about 20 minutes away, hoping I could get some pointers. But what I learned was something else entirely.

When I opened the front door, I could hear some mumbling coming from her workroom at the end of the hall. At first I thought she was with another client, but then realized that it was only her voice I heard so I figured she was on the phone. It was only when her voice would raise to a scared tone that I began to worry.

That's when I decided to check it out. It may not have been the best idea since I didn't have permission to enter, but I had to know if she was alright.

"Kate?" I asked a bit frightened as I peeked from behind the door. We had been here for a few times so I knew what the room looked like. It was a brown themed room with a parquet floor. She had some bookcases and other cabinets on the left side of the room. Her desk was straight across from the door and there was a brown couch on the right side of the room.

The lights were on but she had her head on her desk. Only then it hit me. She was dreaming, and it wasn't a good dream. I closed the door and quietly moved behind her desk next to her. When I could finally see her face, I saw that she was sweating and moving like she was trying to get away from something.

Her mumbling turned into words and began really worrying me. "No. No, don't," she started quietly but almost immediately began yelling louder, "No, stop it. Don't!"

I was getting scared. Then she started screaming and shaking. "Kate?" I grabbed her and tried to wake her up. It didn't work and her screams grew louder. "Kate!" I yelled and shook her around.

She shot up, straight awake, her body covered in sweat and her eyes full of tears and still a bit shaking. "Kate, are you all right?"

She looked at me, probably noticing me for the first time. "Diana, is that you?" I nodded. "Yes, I'm all right. Thank you." She was out of breath.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come in without your permission but I was worried."

"That's quite alright Diana. I'm sorry I scared you." She got up to get a glass of water.

She looked terrified. Her hands were shaking and her breathing was ragged. When she finaly got herself together again, I asked, "Why did you really take on the case, Kate?"

She stared at me and let out a big sigh. "It's a long story." I gave her a look telling her I was all ears. She sat down on a couch on the other side of the room and motioned me to join her. As I did, she started explaining.

"What I told you was true, I just didn't tell everything. So I guess I'll start at the beginning. Just like you, I've been a girl all my life. My mother and one year older sister didn't mind. They always supported me and my sister and I had a strong bond. Just like my mom, she was there for me when I had troubles and doubts.

Then there was my father. He was never comfortable with my life choice but because he loved my mother very much, he didn't do anything to hurt me. But it was visible in the little things. For example, he'd always give my sister more money or he would blame me for everything. My sister, even when we were still small knew that. So she'd always share her money or cookies when he wasn't looking. My mother and sister made my life easier. And I loved them very much.

My life was fine until my mother passed away. She lost the battle against cancer when I was twelve. It had a massive impact on our lives. We all loved her dearly, especially our father. When she was gone, he started drinking.

He never was an aggressive person. He never hit us, even if he wasn't comfortable with me. But that all changed when the alcohol kicked in. That's when he hit me. He never hit my sister. Early on, he would only hit me when he was drunk. He'd blame my mother's death on me and he would call me names. As time passed and his drinking grew worse, the beating grew worse as well.

Luckily I had my sister at my side who would get him off of me. She grew protective of me. She'd always put my happiness and safety before hers.

Things were like that for a few years until I was 18. I was still a virgin. School had ended a few days earlier and I couldn't wait till I could leave for college. I was going to pay for my own education since my father wouldn't. I had worked weekends and after school so I could get away from home. But everything changed.

I was eating breakfast with my sister. She purposely waited to go to college so she could keep an eye on me in case anything happened. And I still thank God to this very day that she did.

We heard our father coming home after a night of drinking. It was a scenario that had happened in the past so I thought I knew what was coming. But I was wrong. From the moment he saw me he began cursing and calling me names. I tried to ignore him. I learned that was the best thing to do, mostly he would just give up and walk away when he noticed I wasn't paying attention.

Not that day. That day he went too far. He grabbed my arm and when I tried to free myself, he started hitting me. Whatever yelling and pulling and pushing we did, nothing made him stop. Before I knew what was happening, I was on my back on the table and he had ripped off both my pants and underwear. He had one hand around my throat and was already taking off his pants. I was so afraid.

My sister started punching him, but he just pushed her back. She fell backwards and hit her head against the wall, knocking her unconscious long enough for him to..."

She turned her head and closed her eyes. It was obvious she was reliving what happened. "He forced himself inside me, hard and fast. I cried and yelled out in pain. The pain was unbearable and I don't wish it upon anyone. He tore my insides up and I was bleeding on his dick.

I couldn't see through my tears as I screamed my lungs out. Then I felt his hand around my throat tighten. I couldn't get any more air into my lungs. Everything became blurry and my life flashed before my eyes.

Just as I was about to give up, I felt his body jerk a few times and his hand released my throat. His dick left me and I was grasping for air. Almost immediately I felt someone holding me and crying. I heard my sister's voice near my ear saying, "I'm sorry. It's going to be alright."

Her hands were slippery and when I managed to open my eyes, I saw they were red. I saw our father laying on the ground in a pile of blood and a knife on the floor next to him. That's when I passed out.