Sabine

And there, on the Ringstrasse, in the very heart of one of the great cultural cities on Earth, I said it out loud:

I. Am. Queer.

So be it. I again ran around catching snowflakes on my tongue: a dumb, crazy, American lesbian who was giddy at the thought that she would be fucking a wonderful Austrian girl.

I had no idea what that really meant, or what to do—but I knew that it was going to happen or I would die trying this very evening. The Lord would have to look out for Himself until tomorrow at least. And maybe for a long time afterward. Well, one step at a time.

Finally I headed over to Sabine's apartment. I knocked—no answer. Of course. It was way too early. I slowly walked around her neighborhood, going into the stores where she shopped, tracing her route to work and everything else I could think of. I found a cute little shop and looked for a present. I found an adorable teddy bear for her.

After a long time, I returned to her apartment. I knocked again—no answer. Fuck. Ok. Teddy and I took another, longer lap of the neighborhood, this time with horniness singing its siren song through my entire body and soul. My hands were shaking with nervousness, anticipation and desire.

A third time. Knock—no answer. Are you fucking kidding me? I headed down the hall, wondering where to walk this time. Then I heard a clunk behind me.

I turned, and the door opened. It was her. Just like I had dreamed—but so much more beautiful and sexy. God, she was beyond belief. I dropped the bear.

I ran to her and we embraced as though we wanted to crush each other. I bit her lip. She sunk her teeth into my neck. And then we were kissing, tongues swirling, dancing—and now, hips grinding. God, oh fuck we needed each other. Two dying souls needed each other.

We parted, burning with a hunger that had nothing to do with food.

"We should get something to eat," Sabine whispered. "I haven't eaten all day." Her voice was quivering. I had no capacity to do anything except bend to her will. We rescued teddy and went to eat.

We headed to "our" Italian place. It was close and good. We had pizza and pesto—our usual. And we had wine. We ate in record time, hardly speaking, just wolfing down food, eye gazing and grabbing onto each other to assure ourselves that we were not dreaming.

After we ate, Sabine pulled out her cigarettes, but I shook my head. We headed straight back to her place. She found a bottle of wine and started to open it, but I just reached for her and we began kissing. I felt desperate. I was insatiable.

She gave in eagerly and we dropped to our knees, tongues dancing in each other's mouths. Then we started licking each other's lips in between deep kisses. Then nipping gently. Then biting. Devouring. We became like animals, rolling into a groping, kissing, biting, sighing growling heap on the floor.

Suddenly we stopped, looked at each other and began giggling uncontrollably. Our faces were damp with each other's saliva. Then we fell silent, held each other's faces and gazed deeply into each other's eyes. We kissed once more and relaxed into a cozy embrace.

Sabine wobbled into the kitchen and returned with the wine and two glasses. She plopped down on the floor with me and we drank, our eyes never leaving each other. She scooted closer and we were right next to each other. She was scruffy and red-eyed from her long day of travel, and smelled like cigarette smoke. I was freshly showered, well put together, and was desperate with desire.

She was still beautiful; I was still a mess.

Her face, as usual, was impassive. Boyish. Her hands began to caress my hair. I closed my eyes, giving in to her touch. She began kissing me again. As our tongues met, I felt warmth, joy and happiness along with the arousal.

She paused, gauging my reaction. It suddenly dawned on me that she had no idea of my experiences over the past week. When we parted, I had been uneasy with too much physical contact. She held back, not wanting to push me into something I wasn't ready for. Well, things had changed.

I grabbed her hair and pulled her face to mine, kissing her deeply and hard. I burned with desire. She looked at me with astonishment. I just smiled and nodded and she came back for more.

Soon, she was kissing me hard, aggressively, demandingly, and I returned her ardor with compound interest. She pushed me back and pounced like an animal, biting my neck and chest, alternating the nips with deep, passionate kisses.

Her bites became harder—it was like mating with a young wolf. Yes, I thought, a wolf. Canine. Masculine. Not a tiger. Not feline.

My wolf-woman continued to prey on my quivering body, and I yielded completely. Surely she knew she had me by now—that she could pull down my jeans and take me. Surely she knew. She just seemed not to care about completing the conquest of the woman-virgin she now had gasping in her arms.

No, she was only focused on giving me pleasure; sensations that kept fountaining up like an endless geyser.

She held me down, one paw firmly against my chest. Now she was kissing and nipping my neck again, and I was gasping and writhing under her. I moaned and cried out for her to devour me—to consume my body and soul.

Pushing my hair aside, she nibbled my earlobe, and I felt another warm flood between my legs. By pure instinct, my back arched and my hips thrust upward, pushing my groin against her thigh. I wrapped my legs tightly around her and began humping—an action born out of pure animal need. I wanted her to unzip me, to tear me open and to see every part of me.

No. She continued to kiss every square millimeter of visible skin, patiently guiding me toward our common goal. I relaxed as I realized that she would take me there. She was helping me, as one helps a child take her first few steps.

At last she unbuttoned my shirt and pulled it away. Her hands slipped to my back as she reached underneath my t-shirt, looking for the bra clasp. When she found that I wore no bra, her eyes dilated and she made a growling sound deep in her throat.

Her furious, predatory animal lust became even more savagely intense. And it was all directed at me.

In any other setting I might have been afraid and put off, but here? Now? Her look set me aflame. I grabbed her shirt and tore it off. Her bra gave way instantly and her small tits swung free.

She pressed her leg hard against my pussy and yanked off my t-shirt, moving her mouth down to my erect nipples. I felt her hot breath as she gasped at their size, then she closed in and sucked one into her mouth.

Christmas in Heaven cannot compare to that moment. I swooned as she began to suckle on me sending arrows of pleasure spearing into my groin. I remembered my own efforts a few hours earlier. They were laughably feeble by comparison. I moaned—crying out my pleasure and desire. Just as I had fantasized, Sabine was indeed an expert lover.

She remained at my breasts forever, and I lost myself in pleasure. She continued to suck, allowing me to be her lover, her mother, her daughter, her friend, her nurse—to flow through every permutation of womanhood, filling my soul even as she set my body aflame.

By the time she was removing my pants, I was beyond caring about anything except giving every atom of myself to her. I could not live unless every fiber of me was unveiled and made totally available to her.

I should have been embarrassed at how wet my underwear had become—but with her it was a sharing of my complete desire for her.

I delighted in the look of wonder on her face as she touched me and found me gaping, hot and wet. Without hesitation, her face pressed fully into my musky wetness and her tongue instantly found my clitoris, my being, my soul. I felt like I was flowing into her mouth.

"Praise God from Whom all blessings flow. Amen."

The Doxology surged through me as I fucked my hips up into Sabine's eager mouth. I was become Saint, Sinner, Whore, Child of God. Bitch. And more: Lesbian. Homosexual. Queer.

I finally surrendered to being just Kate—a woman who was loving Sabine with all of her being.

God has accomplished wondrous works indeed. And the day he invented the clitoris was one of His best. Sabine relished mine, alternating between licking and sucking it. When she settled into gliding up and down in a steady, rhythmic flow I reflected that date of the invention of the tongue was also on the short list of Best Days Ever.

I had a blessed 30 seconds of relief; I was finally being touched where and how I needed it most. Then Sabine's fingers slipped into me and I felt an unfamiliar pressure as she probed up and forward. Involuntarily, my hips jerked upward.

Then something was swelling inside me and the rumblings of a massive volcano began to boil up. Heat and pressure surged through my genitals as my back arched and my hips began to thrust rhythmically. I was going to erupt. Violently.

I tried to tell her to stop—I could feel that I was going to piss everywhere—but I couldn't make a sound. I reached down with one hand, trying to stop her. My hand fluttered uselessly then fell away as my hips quickened their spastic dance. I felt like my entire body was quivering. Then she pressed firmly with her fingers and I had no choice: I had to bear down. I did, and then burst open.

I fell into a bottomless warm pool as waves of liquid warmth surged out from my genitals, radiating through my body and into my limbs. It felt like simultaneously giving birth and being sucked back into the womb.

Waves of pleasure ran through me and I could feel myself flooding out to Sabine, my love, my soul. I cried out as my back arched and my hips thrust even higher. Her fingers pressed, and another fit of spasms tore through me. I was tearing apart. Bursting.

It finally ended, and I fell back, exhausted. Dazed. Then I began weeping. I sobbed uncontrollably, overcome with emotion. Sabine crawled up, took me in her arms and held me as I cried. She began to cry too. The frayed ends of our spirits met, knotting our souls together.

Her face was wet with my fluids and our tears. She kept holding me and kissing me and telling me that she loved me. I cried myself out and we cuddled there covered in my fluids and snot and tears. It seemed horribly messy.

What we had found together, though, was the kind of love that people dream about. Who cares about a little snot, sweat and tears? I giggled.

Even Winston Churchill would approve.

Sabine helped me up and guided me into the bathroom. She ran a beautifully warm shower and we hopped in and washed each other, kissing all the while. Our soapy hands roamed freely, sometimes lingering with sexual intent, but more just exploring and savoring each other. By the time we were done, we were wonderfully clean, very turned on and more deeply bonded than ever. We dried each other, and she led me to her bed. It was freshly made with clean sheets.

"I made it before I left," Sabine explained. "I wanted our first time to be perfect." She shook her head. "But I think we got too carried away," she added, gesturing to the living room.

"It was perfect, Sabine. More perfect than you will ever know," I assured her. She got into bed and I joined her. As we got in, the bed creaked slightly and I thought of Jan and Janneke. The idea of Sabine's bed creaking as we made love got me very aroused.

We began kissing again, snuggling into the warm sheets and into each other. I think we may have fallen asleep in between bouts of kissing, or we may have just kissed for hours and hours. I only know that every time I was aware of anything, Sabine's face was there and we kissed. And I was in Heaven.

Again she got on top of me, but as she began to play with my clit, I would not let her go down. I needed her with me.

She understood and penetrated me with a finger—gentle and soft. She worked me, every sense alive to my responses.

Soon, she realized that I needed more, and a second finger was added. Better. Her fingers began curling and I arched my back, wanting her to find that magic spot again. The bed began creaking in rhythm with her hand, and I became extremely aroused. It was happening—the Lord had heard my prayers. Our bed. My woman. Taking me. I spread my legs wide—it was just as I had imagined it, except better.

She held her fingers still, teasing me, making me fuck against them. I grunted with the effort and pressed down hard, wanting to bury her whole hand in me. Immediately a third finger entered. When I moaned, a fourth followed instantly.

Now I was fucking my hips and begging, and the bed was creaking wildly. She smiled and shook her head as if to say, "not yet." She kept me dancing, twirling on a tightrope over the Canyon of Bliss.

My pussy was on fire with desire and I could only arch my back and fuck against her relentless hand. As my begging turned into moans, Sabine's thumb expertly slid up and found my clitoris, trapping it between her thumb outside and her fingers inside. She pushed on me and I flew off the tightrope, spinning out into oblivion.

"I'm coming," I gasped, wide-eyed.

"You're fucking right you are," she replied, pressing firmly. I again burst into 10,000 million pieces.

Reassembly, however, was quicker and much less traumatic this time. I was home—with my lover.

We began again.

Sabine again reached between my legs, but now I needed to explore her. I pushed her on her back and began kissing her, slowly working my way down her neck. She seemed to protest—but only briefly. She yielded, and it became Christmas morning for little Kate.

Like a child tip-toeing downstairs to peek under the tree, I began to slowly investigate the treasures that awaited me. I became fascinated with the details of her. The texture of her skin; her taste; her smell.

Sabine's shoulders were quite broad and square, and I loved licking along her collarbones, tracing the strong outline of her upper body. She had well-defined muscles in her arms, and sensing that she was strong and powerful made me giddy with excitement.

She didn't shave and I loved kissing under her arms, then nibbling along the sides of her body. And then up onto her slender tummy, and then—oh yes, and then to the undersides of her breasts and finally to the nipples. I loved sucking and nibbling on her nipples, taking my turn to be mothered by her. She stroked my hair and pressed me to her bosom, to her heart—all tenderness and softness. Then, as my tongue swirled around, she would growl with animal lust. All woman. All mine.

I made the circuit of her upper body several times, until she was writhing and scissoring her thighs with desire. I took the cue and began working my way downward, beginning my journey to the Promised Land. The fertile expanse opened before me, ripe and gaping. The soft hair of Sabine's legs tickled my chest as I slid down her body, bringing myself face to face with her most intimate area.

Then I saw the most wonderful present that awaited me. Santa had saved the best for last.

It seemed to have a magnetic pull: I felt my face being drawn to it. I touched the outer wrappings and heard Sabine sigh. I pulled them apart slowly and carefully, not wanting to disturb the treasure within.

I extended my tongue and gave an experimental lick. Slightly strange tasting, but also wonderful. I tried again, this time running my tongue up and down her lips. This was getting better. I enjoyed the taste, the feel—everything about it. Again, I ran my tongue up and around, covering the outer lips thoroughly. Oh yes, this was wonderful. I did like girls—from head to toe. Yep. I was definitely gay.

Sabine groaned. "Kate, you are fucking killing me," she sighed. That got me back on task. Where was I? Oh yes...

I found another set of wrappings within the first. I gently used my hand to open her wider. Then I could finally see my real present: the lovely jewel within. Her clitoris extended from its hood, fully erect.

I licked her inner lips and a soft moan escaped her as she grabbed the sheets with her hands. Then I slid my tongue upward and began to experience the clitoris-tongue combination as giver.

"Tis more blessed to give than to receive."

Almost immediately, she began moaning, a low, guttural growl of pure desire. I just kept licking up and down her shaft, trying to remember what she had done to me. My novice efforts seemed to meet with some favor, as she moved her hands to my head, clutching my hair and holding it firmly in place.

"Ja," she gasped, lapsing into German. "genau. nicht ändern," telling me that I had found the exact spot. I kept licking in a steady rhythm, scarcely daring to breathe, wanting this to be absolutely perfect for the woman I loved beyond anything.

Her body quivered, and I reached a finger down to her vagina, circling her opening. Her moans rose in pitch. "Fuck yes, Kate," she began, then grunted, "ahhhh. Scheisse. Weiter! Weiter!" she returned to German, urging me to continue. I would not have stopped in any case.

Almost immediately, her ass and legs became tense and her head snapped back. I recognized the now-familiar signs of an impending orgasm.

"Ahhh. Ja...und...JETZT," she cried out, telling me exactly when her orgasm started. Her hands held my head firmly as she ground her hips up and she shook with the spasms of her climax.

I slid upward and we began kissing passionately. Soon, we were lost in each other again, swimming around ourselves, finding new possibilities for touching and tasting each other's essence. Exhaustion finally overtook us, and we simply held each other, our mouths pressed together, physically unable to stop kissing. We somehow drifted off to sleep for a short time.

I awoke with Sabine's tongue slowly running over my lips. I opened my mouth, and we were back into our eternal kiss. Halfway between sleep and waking, halfway between nuzzling and making love, halfway between complete relaxation and arousal, we floated together.

Sabine's hand trailed down my body and found my clitoris. Under her expert fingers, it swiftly became erect and my half-awake state instantly galvanized into urgent desire. I needed to feel her, and reached between her legs. She was wet too, and swiftly opened for me. I got my finger on her clit and began circling it in imitation of her work on me.

We caressed each other, gazing into each other's eyes, wondering who would come first. It became a contest—who would blink first? I am very competitive by nature, and this contest excited me—but she had years of experience playing with pussies and I was a novice. I had no chance.

Her eyes blazed fiercely as she circled my clit, making it achingly erect. The she smiled slyly as she relaxed the pressure and slowed almost to a stop. Her finger slowly coaxed pleasure out of me as I squirmed. I could feel my clit get more erect as it seemed to reach out for more contact. I could feel myself getting flushed. My nipples popped into full erection.

Sabine's lip curled into a little sneer. She slid two fingers inside me and put her thumb on my clit. I succumbed. And the wolf-woman returned. She rolled me on my back, holding me down again, ravaging me again. I was powerless.

I felt myself swelling inside again. I knew exactly what she was going to make me do. Again I was going to erupt.

"Du wirst wieder ausspritzen."

Ausspritzen. A wonderfully descriptive word: "to spray out." Yes, I was going to be spritzing aus. Very soon now. I moaned loudly. She kicked the sheets out of the way so they wouldn't get too wet.

This was now becoming comfortable, familiar territory. Sabine led my dance. Twirl here, spin there. She turned me inside out. Filling me, urging me upward.

The bed was squeaking again. I could imagine how Jan had fucked Janneke. Moving up and down; in and out. Bringing them to orgasm. Yes. And how he spritzed into her. Flowing out and into his woman.