Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 34

"Boom!" Trevor, Krista's son laughed, while he stood from the table to indicate a knockout with a wave of his arms like a referee would.

"Walked right into that one, didn't I?" Al said smiling at Madelyn.

"Winner and still champeen!" Gavin laughed lifting Madelyn's hand.

"Wow," Al groused as he looked to Alex with a wink. "Back to the drawing board." Alex blew him a kiss from her fingers for his losing effort.

***

Even though Madelyn had assured her that no one would let on to her secret, Alex was still nervous someone would make a comment about the lifestyle. Something as innocent as "who is your sub or Dom" would cause her to reel in embarrassment.

"Why are you so nervous?" Gavin finally had to ask.

"What if someone goes up to Livy and asks about her owner?" Alex gasped.

"This is not a lifestyle party," Gavin chuckled shaking his head.

"These people are in the life, are they not?" she asked.

"Some are," Gavin nodded. "Look, when Madelyn throws a party the invitation spells out it's a lifestyle party so everybody is on the same page. The invitation for this party was only for our engagement."

"So nobody is expecting kink?" Alex asked as her worry dropped.

"There are kids present," Gavin pointed out with a mock look of shock. "So no, we may have fiendish tendencies but we are not fiends!" Alex shook her head at him for his laughter.

"You're not helping," Alex warned him.

"Wasn't trying to," he pointed out pulling her into a hug.

"Look, we enjoy our lifestyle but we don't advertise," Gavin told her. "What we do behind closed doors is our business, nobody else's. So relax." She nodded into his chest.

Alex had to show the ring to everybody, it was the first thing they would say to her, 'show me the ring'. She was happy to of course. Many would awe, most would shake their heads and congratulate her on landing the one guy they assumed would be a bachelor his whole life.

Gavin was standing with Ken when he saw her and his stomach flopped. What was Elizabeth doing here? So much for a festive night. His mood soured as she looked through the thong of people before her eyes fell on him. He stared at her for a moment before walking over to her. She met him halfway across the back yard.

"Good evening Elizabeth," Gavin said somewhat sociably. Trying to contain both the disappointment and the anger of her being here.

"Gavin," Elizabeth returned in a near growl.

"How are you doing?" he asked her looking over her beleaguered appearance.

She was thin, her eyes sunken and dark. Her body trembled slightly as she stood with him. She was sniffling and her nose seemed raw around the edges like she had a bitter cold even though it was early summer. She started to scratch at her skin and he stopped her. All were telltale signs she was abusing. He felt her shake under his touch. He wondered if that had to do with her anger, which was radiating off her, or the drugs.

"You look surprised to see me," Elizabeth pointed out.

"In all honesty, I am," Gavin told her with a frown.

He shook his head, gone was the beautiful woman that served him. It appeared her new master didn't care about her appearance. Then again, drugs cared about no one, and everything about Elizabeth's appearance screamed her new Dom was drugs.

"Glad I can still surprise you," she snapped, she saw it in his eyes he was disappointed and even though she was no longer his sub she still felt the duty to please him. She waited for him to correct her. Deep down she wanted him to punish her for her attitude like he used to do. But it didn't come, instead came his apathy, something she knew he would do to keep himself from caring about anything.

"What do you want?" he asked her, his dark eyes sharpening on her.

"Just to congratulate you two!" she told him looking around for Alex. The sarcasm and venom dripped off the words. "I am a little hurt as I must have missed my invitation!"

"You weren't invited," Gavin said pointedly.

"Why?"

"Because you are train wreck," he sighed. "This is for Alex...she doesn't need your drama."

"This is for Alex? What about you?" she asked.

"I'm happy as long as Alex is," he told her looking to the ground.

"You know," Elizabeth moved into him. "If I would have known marriage was on the table for you, I would have tried harder!"

"It was never on the table for you," Gavin said lifting his eyes. "Our relationship was based on exactly what we both wanted. You were never marriage material."

"Why?"

"Because you only love yourself," he told her knocking the wind out of her.

"I was a damn good sub," she defended.

"Only when it suited you," he shot back. "Like the drugs...and the other men."

"Royce raped me," she snarled, she didn't know how he knew but he knew evidently.

"And the Senator in California? Did he also rape you?" Gavin asked. The breath left her. "How about the Congressman from Washington? I mean if every guy you meet rapes you I have to wonder what your definition of rape is."

The words were like blows from a two by four. She lost sight of him as her eyes blurred with tears.

"How did you know?" she asked him looking to the ground.

"How could I not know?" he asked her back. "Everything you have done, or are doing has only been for you. That is why marriage was never on the table for you. In a marriage you aren't thinking about you as an individual, you are thinking about the other exclusively. You never concerned yourself with me unless you were with me, then the service was still about what you wanted. I was a tool that you used to meet some gratification. A dildo if you will."

"Oh and your precious little Alex doesn't think about herself? She is only obeying you right?" Elizabeth barked. "I heard she doesn't listen like a sub should! Doesn't obey you!"

"What Alex does or doesn't do for me is not your concern," he told her coldly. His eyes matching his voice.

"I hear she even got pneumonia because of her disobedience. I hear she didn't service you while she spent hours on her precious little wall of fame! Chasing her own selfish dreams and not serving or satisfying you!" Elizabeth pointed out.

"You're wrong, even in those things, it wasn't because of her selfish desires," he said calmly with an exhale.

"How is that? She didn't obey you?"

"Alex got pneumonia because she was more concerned about her kids she was teaching than herself, the wall? That had absolutely nothing to do with her! That had everything to do with honoring her father! She wanted that wall to show her father that his love of art carried on through her!" Gavin laughed humorlessly as he was trying to explain a concept that Elizabeth would never be able to understand. It wasn't in her nature to.

"Nothing Alex does is for Alex. It is all for someone else!" Gavin growled. His anger bubbling as he stepped closer to Elizabeth.

"No, Elizabeth, you have no concept of what Alex does because it is not in your personality. You do drugs to make yourself feel better, you brought Alex to me so you could leave. You hooked your wagon to Royce so you could have a shot at the White House. The glory of such a prize! You. You. You," Gavin shook his head as he gathered his composure.

"You and Royce deserve each other. You are both only concerned about yourselves. At least in your relationship, nobody will get hurt thinking the other cares for them, because you both know you don't."

"I know one thing you can't deny," she told him stroking the side of his face which he knocked away. "I fucked you well."

"That's right, we fucked," Gavin nodded. "No emotion, no caring, we fucked...cold, unfeeling fucking. I could pay a prostitute for a fucking, and it would be good too." Elizabeth gasped that she was compared to a prostitute.

"See that is the biggest difference between you and Alex," Gavin said trying to reel in his anger. "You gave me what I wanted...Alex gives me what I need."

"It took Alex to show me the difference in fucking and making love. It took Alex to teach me that unless I loved myself, I couldn't love another. We may have a Dom/sub relationship, but I have found with Alex in my life, that those roles are interchangeable. While she openly serves me in the lifestyle. I willingly submit myself to her love."

"Excuse me," Charles' voice interrupted. "I'm sorry Miss Elizabeth, but this party is by invitation only. If you will follow me?"

"You should go," Gavin told her. "Resist your impulsive desire to please yourself by making a scene and ruining something beautiful."

"That hurts," she told him. "I hoped we could be friends."

"You chose your friends," Gavin told her stepping away. "Drugs, Royce and his wannabe ambitions."

"Royce is going to be something," she snapped stopping him. "He is going to be the most powerful man in the world!"

"First off, the President of the United States is a puppet, bound by so many laws and rules he is virtually no different that the Queen of England. A face to put with a country. And Royce will never make that step...his skeletons will haunt him and cause him his downfall!"

Gavin walked away from her and the party. Making his way towards the stables to get himself under control. His anger was spewing from him as he slammed the door and threw a nearby chair across the barn smashing it into bits, causing the horses to jitter in their stalls. His temper of old was back and before he knew it, he punched a hole in the nearby drywall, causing pain to radiate up from his hand to his shoulder.

He shook his hand angrily, shaking the tingling from it. It had been a long time since his temper ruled him as it was now. He was unhappy of its return. Seeing Elizabeth in the same stages as Carla brought his unwelcome friend back.

"She is not your concern," he told himself in the barn, flexing his hand. "You can't save her any more than you could Carla. Some people are just beyond saving!" The words he said aloud held no comfort for him. They were hollow, and the darkness of the depression he had during Carla's demise threatened its return.

He was there for nearly twenty minutes before the opening of the door told him he was no longer alone.

"Are you ok?" she asked him.

"Yes, Little One," He smiled while he stroked the horse in front of him. "I am fine."

"Liar," Alex told him coming up alongside him. "I saw Elizabeth talking to you, is everything alright?"

"She just wanted to congratulate us," he smiled.

"God you suck at lying," she sighed. He said nothing as he looked to the steed in front of him. Afraid of turning to her to reveal the pain in his eyes.

"Any regrets?" she asked him, wondering if he still thought of Elizabeth and the pleasure she brought him.

"Yes," he nodded. The air was sucked out of her as he turned to face her. "I regret I didn't find you sooner. All those wasted years I could have spent with you...I regret I can't give them to you."

"The things you say!" she smiled touching his cheek. He closed his eyes and melted into her soft hands. Submitting to her love.

Alex watched the anger melt from his face at her touch. That made her happy. In his darkest, she could pull him out. His eyes opened and his secret smile came out.

"Something I can do to please you, Sir?"

"I have been pleased," he smiled. "Ever since I laid eyes on you at the coffee shop. The moment I wondered what you would feel like beneath my fingers. The mere thought of your flesh beneath my hand makes me hard."

Alex lifted her hand and placed it on the outer portion of his pants. She felt him and smiled.

"How shall I please you Sir?" she asked him.

He led her to a nearby table set up for working on saddles and lifted her and placed her on it. She let her smile come out showing him she was pleased. She watched him, his firm hands told her not to help, he was doing what he wanted and she was just to enjoy.

He ran his hands up her outer thighs, when his hands hit her hips he realized something.

"No," she smiled as she realized he came to the knowledge. "No panties." He arched a brow at her.

"I was hoping for a moment like this!" she admitted. He nodded. He let his hands slide under her and lift her pulling her to the edge. She let her fingers tug on his belt pulling it loose, her excitement building causing them to shake.

The air around them filled with excitement. Both of the upcoming sex, and the idea that anyone could walk in at any moment. The forbidden desire of allowing one's pleasure to be had in such a public place.

Taking his hot shaft in her hand she felt it throb within her fingers. She licked her fingers and rubbed his cock with it to lube it gently.

She gasped as he filled her and took her neck into his mouth at the same time. He gripped her ass firmly as he drove into her, his hands scraping on the wood of the table as he held her off of it.

She bit her lips to keep from calling out, the echo of their moans were already a concern in the large barn. She was concerned that the party goers would hear and come to investigate. She watched him smiled at her, she approved with her eyes as her body responded to him. She fell back to the straw cover table as he drove into her. He lifted her legs and put them over his shoulder to allow him a deeper penetration.

Her orgasm came as his did, both mixing together there in the barn, she clamped her lips to his to trap her scream into his mouth. They stared into one another's eyes as they came down from their high.

Alex found Livy standing by herself with a smile as she approached.

"You can drop the fake smile," Alex warned her. "I know you too well." Livy rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"What's up?" Alex asked her sister.

"No," Livy said firmly. "I'm not ruining your day. Ask me tomorrow."

"Livy,"

"No, Alex," Livy said firmly. "I have enough on my conscience. Just tell me that you and Gavin were down there in the barn doing something that would make Mom mad with the idea that you were doing something that only married couples should be doing. And then only for procreation only!"

"Do you really want to know?" Alex asked her.

"I already know," Livy laughed pulling a piece of straw from her dress before walking away. "And you should wipe that naughty smile from your face...sinner!"

"I was in Heaven at the time!" Alex teased causing them both to break up in boisterous laughter.

***

Hello readers,

I'm sorry for the long delay for this chapter, but I have been doing some soul searching. I'm at a crossroads here. I have an ending in mind, one that would ultimately take an entire third book to complete. But to do so will take me away from the Literotica world. The third book would be less about the sexual world of BDSM and more of the personal world of Alex and Gavin.

I have an alternate ending in mind, so I have to decide how to proceed. If I proceed with the alternate ending, there will be only a few chapters left. When I started this journey with Gavin and Alex, I wanted to show a different side of BDSM. One more realistic. One that was closer to the truth, with a little fantasy thrown in. Now I think it is time to finish with these characters and save the third book for a mainstream audience.

I have decided to edit and rewrite this story and take it to a more mainstream audience and e-publish the books. Those who come to Literotica do so for some sexual stimulation, perhaps the alternate ending for Literotica readers is the way to go, then produce the three novels for the mainstream with an entirely different ending.

Any advice?

CJT