Silver Anniversary

I had to cool it till tomorrow. This might be the best time to prepare for then.

"Well, there is something that I could use your help and advice with so if you and Sally are free tomorrow morning about 8:30, why don't you come over for some breakfast and we'll talk. I could use Sally's input as well. I know it's early, but it's really important and I would really like your help"

"Sure we can come but can you give me a hint? I can keep a secret if that's it."

"No, no, it's job related but it is a surprise and I would like to tell all of you at the same time. I'm not even going to tell Serena tonight."

Bill finally agreed, accepting that he was going to get nothing more out of me tonight. I clapped him on the back and moved away to speak with Ben.

I watched Bill talk first to Sally and then to Serena. They seemed to think that I had a surprise concerning my job that I was keeping and Serena seemed to relax considerably. That was good.

The party was winding down and the guests were all preparing to leave. I circulated the room and spoke with all but Bill, saying goodnight and thanks. I was anxious for the evening to end since it had been painful to me from the beginning. It represented a life that no longer existed.

Bill and Sally were the first to leave, followed by Justin and Phyllis and then Michael and Julie. My youngest son Ben and his wife Carrie were the last to leave and they spoke with Serena and then left.

Just before Bill and Sally left, she came over to me and spoke quietly: "If you want to talk before tomorrow John, please call me. You know I love both of you and if there is a problem I want to help." She gave me a hug while Bill looked on, saying nothing.

Her simple statement of caring caused me more pain than anything Bill and Serena had done. The problem with all affairs is that innocent people are always the ones to feel the pain first.

"Thanks Sally. I certainly will let you know if I need someone to talk to. I'll see you both tomorrow. OK?" She nodded and left.

I had made arrangements with the caterers to take away any perishables and come back about 10 the next morning to clean up. They were just finishing up when I walked into the kitchen. I looked around for Serena but didn't see her. I asked after her and was told that she had said goodnight and gone upstairs. I waited a few more minutes till they left and then turned out the lights. I had a few things to do in the den and then I went upstairs.

I walked into our bedroom and saw Serena, still dressed, setting in one of the two chairs that comprised our sitting area. It was a nice area that contained two soft chairs, a table with a desk chair and a TV. We used it often and I did most of my late night reading there, while Serena often watched Jay Leno before going to bed.

I walked over to the other chair and sank down heavily. I looked at Serena and felt nothing but pain. No anger, no desire for revenge, just deep crushing pain. With difficulty, I smiled at her and said that I thought the evening had gone well. She returned the smile but I could see the concern on her face.

"John, can I ask you something? It concerns the party." She was looking down at the handkerchief she had in her hands.

"Of course Serena; you can ask me anything. You're my wife after all. If I have secrets from you, it would mean that we have a poor excuse for a marriage, wouldn't you say? A husband and wife should never keep secrets from each other."

Serena paused, twisting her handkerchief and trying very hard not to cry.

"Why did you set your drink down when you toasted me? Why did you do that John?" Now she looked up at me with eyes wet with tears.

"Why do you think, Serena?"

"I don't know John. I really don't know. You haven't said anything to me about doing something wrong. Have I displeased you in some way? Have I done or said something that made you mad at me? Do you think I have done something wrong?"

She was looking at me with a strange look on her face. I think it was fear and anxiety but I wasn't sure. If she could cheat on me and keep it to herself, she could certainly try to fake it. It did seem like she was waiting to see if I did know something. I could swear she looked like she almost hoped I did.

"I don't know Serena. Is there something you have done that would make me angry with you?

"No, and I have tried to think of what it could be. I just don't know what's wrong." She was twisting her hands and her shoulders were hunched over. She was close to breaking down. I didn't want that tonight.

"I'm sorry, Serena. I don't quite believe you. I think there are some very serious problems in our marriage but I am too tired to talk with you about them tonight. I'm going to sleep in the guest room and we can talk tomorrow."

With that I rose and walked down the hall to the guest room before I lost my own composure. I had earlier moved some things in there so I went in and closed and locked the door. I had never slept in the guest room in all the years we had owned this house, nor had I ever locked my loving wife out of my bed. The pain of doing that was almost more than I could stand.

I checked my briefcase for the things I would need tomorrow and found them all present. I undressed, turned out the lights and lay down on the bed, knowing I wouldn't sleep much this night.

About an hour later, I heard a small knock on the door and Serena's voice asking me if she could come in. She knocked again but I didn't answer her and she eventually stopped and went back to our bedroom. I lay there with tears finally coming and I fell asleep dreaming bad dreams.

I awoke at my usual time of 6:45, but decided to stay in bed a while longer. I usually got up and was downstairs by 7:15 for breakfast but I wasn't hungry this morning. I had no appetite. I remained in the room until I heard Serena go downstairs and then went into the bathroom. I went back to the room and remained there until almost 8:15 and then went down with a heavy heart to face Serena.

When I walked into the kitchen, Serena was sitting at the kitchen table. My empty place had a plate of cold eggs and bacon with a side of toast and a glass of orange juice. It looked sad setting there. The butter had coagulated and it looked very unappetizing. Serena was just staring at the plate, not moving or looking up as I entered.

With false bravado, I said, "Good morning. Is there any coffee? I could really use a cup." With that, I walked over to the machine and poured a cup of coffee that had already become rather thick. It had been made hours ago and was now bitter. I drank it anyway since it seemed appropriate with my mood.

Serena still hadn't said anything so I walked to my seat across from her with the morning paper and my cup of bitter coffee and waited for Bill and Sally to arrive. I didn't tell Serena they were coming so it would be a surprise to her when they showed up.

As I folded my paper ready to read, Serena looked up at me and said in a very quiet voice.

"Do you suspect me of something John? Is that what this is about?" When I didn't come down for breakfast, she must have figured it out.

I saw now that she had been crying. Her eyes were red and dull and her makeup had run from the tears. She had obviously made herself up before coming down this morning. I now noticed that she had on a silk blouse and tailored skirt, a combination that I always loved on her.

I really didn't want to get into it until her lover was here but if they weren't on time, I couldn't avoid it. I was just about to say something when the doorbell rang.

When the doorbell rang, Serena looked up in surprise and wiped her face before going to the door. She opened it to see Bill and Sally standing there.

"What in the world are you two doing here at this time of morning? My God, it's not even 8:30." Serena was looking back and forth between the two of them.

"John asked us to come over last night. Didn't he tell you?" Bill showed surprise that Serena wasn't expecting them. Sally noticed Serena's obvious pain with concern. She moved to Serena and put her arm around her waist.

"Are you alright dear? You look like you have been crying." Sally held her close, trying to sooth her.

"No, I'm fine. And no, he never said a word. Please, come in." Serena came to find me to see what I had done.

"Did you invite Bill and Sally this morning? What is going on John? Why are you doing this?" She was obviously distraught and frightened.

Without answering her I walked into the hallway to see Bill and Sally and welcomed them in a booming voice.

"Come in, come in, my best friends in the whole world. Come in and sit down and have some of this wonderful coffee. I think it may be a little strong but that's OK. I think you all will be needing it very soon."

I took Sally by the arm and led her into the den where I had everything set up. I had done this last night before I went upstairs.

Once everyone was seated, Bill and Sally sitting side by side on the couch and Serena sitting in her favorite chair looking frightened, I walked over to my briefcase and pulled out two 8x 10 manila envelopes. I moved with them to the center of the room and faced all three of them.

"I have given this a lot of thought and I have some surprises for each of you. First though, let me tell you why I arrived at this place in time that I find myself."

"I have been working some very long hours and traveling more than I should have but I felt it was necessary. There were a lot of people depending on me and I couldn't let them down. But, I hired three new guys and they are finally able to handle the job by themselves. It has been my plan to retire just as soon as I felt I could leave. That time is now. A week ago, I quit my job and told my boss to go to Hell."

I watched the look of surprise, and some relief replace the fear on Serena's face. Bill and Sally were just confused. I did see a glimmer of discomfort on Bill's face, but it was fleeting.

Serena spoke first. "Why didn't you say anything John? I would have supported your decision. You know that. I knew that job was getting you down, and you should quit!"

Bill chimed in as well. "Hell yes buddy. You don't have to work for a company that doesn't care about what's best for you. Let them try to do without you for awhile."

"I'm glad to see that you both support my decision. I was planning on taking my wonderful wife on a trip around the world, beginning today on our 25^th anniversary. I had booked a flight to Miami and from there we would pick up a sea cruise ending in St. Croix. I had us booked into the King Christian Hotel for two weeks."

Serena jumped up, looking pleased and excited and then suddenly her forehead wrinkled and she looked at me with puzzled eyes.

"What do you mean you were planning on taking me?" Serena was looking at me with confusion and some of her fear was back.

I paused a moment. This was it. There would be no turning back once I did this.

"Why, I just thought that it would put a strain on your meetings with Bill at the Hilton downtown on Wednesday afternoons if you weren't going to be here."

All three faces were riveted on me now and this was the moment of truth. Now it was out in the open. I walked over to the table and pushed the play button on the recorder sitting there. I had made a tape with excerpts of their conversations. I thought the first few words of their last Wednesday meeting would be most appropriate.

From the small speakers we heard, "Serena, get in here. God, I've been thinking of you all week. Hurry up and get your clothes off. I want to fuck you right now. I am so hot I'm about to bust!"

"Give me a minute Bill. Jesus! What's gotten into you? Just because we have to hurry, I would think that would suit you just fine. You always want to get to it with no foreplay. I feel like a piece of meat; just a quick fuck for you."

I turned the tape off and watched the faces of the three people staring at me.

Serena was first. She looked like I had just slapped her across the face. She went still, her face frozen in shock and her eyes wide open. I had never seen her as pale as I did then. She fell down into the chair with her hands over her face.

I heard her say in a soft voice: "Oh please God, no!"

I looked to Bill and saw a look of shock on his face as well but more interesting was the look on Sally's face. She was furious!

Serena was now sobbing openly and she was looking at me with eyes filled with fear.

"Oh God, no! You did know? How long have you known? Oh, please John, please don't do this. Let me talk to you, please."

Sally jumped up from the couch with a look of anger and fury on her face. Bill also stood and turned to Sally just as she let him have it. She slapped him with her open hand as hard as she could and just glared at him as he staggered back. The smack sounded like a crack of thunder.

"You rotten son of a bitch! How could you, you and that slut? How long has this been going on? You and I are through! I'll take you for everything you have!" Sally was on a roll and Bill looked as though he had just swallowed something rotten. She turned on Serena with real venom.

"As for you, you filthy slut, I hope you're happy. You have just ruined two marriages and for what. Bill is a lousy lover anyway. I'm surprised you even let him touch you a second time. I guess sluts aren't very choosy." Sally gave Serena a look that would have curdled milk.

I decided I had better get back into the conversation before Sally killed somebody.

"Bill, I want you to get out of my house right now and I never want to see or speak to you again. You were supposed to be my friend and you stabbed me in the back. I despise you and everything you stand for. Get out, now!"

"Sally, I have something for you that you will want to take. It is a complete record of phone calls between the two of them and it is very graphic in some spots. It should help you if you intend to divorce him." I handed her a bulky 8 x 11 manila envelope.

Sally took the envelope and stormed out of the house with Bill trailing along behind her. He seemed completely confused and lost. I hoped Sally would make his life a living hell from this point on.

I turned to Serena who had been standing still sobbing and watching the whole sorry thing between Bill and Sally. She must know by now that she had destroyed Bill and Sally's marriage.

"Congratulations Serena. Bill and Sally were two of our oldest friends and you have succeeded in destroying both of their lives. I hope to hell it was worth it. Sally was a wonderful, kind woman. She didn't deserve what you and Bill did to her."

She looked at me with tears running down her face and I could see the beginnings of understanding the truth of her actions in her eyes. They were haunted and full of pain. I expected it would get worse for her in the next few minutes.

"I am so sorry John, I am so sorry. I never thought of it hurting you or Sally. You were never supposed to know. I never wanted to hurt either of you. It was just lonely for me and Bill was there and I just needed someone to hold me and make me feel like a woman. I'm sorry!"

I waited patiently till she finished. It was no more than I expected from her.

"I found out about your activities one day when I was downtown planning your anniversary present. Our silver anniversary. I thought it was special and wanted to do something special for you. I watched you and Bill come out of the hotel. That got me to thinking and after some questions that you had trouble answering I planted some bugs in the house and in your purse. I taped your phone conversations with Bill and your meeting at the hotel last Wednesday."

"John, you have to let me explain. You have been so busy and I was so alone and Bill was only trying to be a good friend. We just took it too far. It meant nothing and it won't happen again. You have to forgive me and let me make it up to you. Please John?"

Serena was really hurting now. It was clear that she finally saw the wrong in what she had done and she was frightened of what I might do. I wouldn't keep her in suspense much longer.

"After I discovered your affair, I did a lot of thinking. I went through days of pain because of your betrayal. I wondered what you were capable of and whether you had done this before, with others. I wondered whether I could live without you if I were to leave you. I wondered about the boys and what they would think."

Serena was sobbing almost out of control. She looked like hell and she was almost incoherent.

"Please John. We don't have to tell the boys, and I have never done anything like this before with anybody else. Honest, never before. You were my first and only until Bill. He and I only met a few times and only the last two months or so. You have to believe me when I say that I love you and want to be with you and only you. Please John, you have to forgive me!"

"As I was saying, I wondered about a lot of things, like could I live without you? And then I finally realized that I was asking the wrong questions. Remember when my parents died so suddenly? I kept saying I couldn't live without them? Well, I found out that I could. It just took time.

So, I knew that I could live without you. The question I really needed to answer was 'could I live with you after what you did'. The answer to that question was much simpler and the answer was 'no'."

"John, you have to listen to me. I love you and have loved only you for 25 years. Bill was just there when you were gone and he complimented me, and the way I looked, and he was so friendly. I just was so lonely and he was there..."

"I understand what you did. But not why you thought it was acceptable to do it. I think I could have forgiven you if you had come to me and insisted that we try to find out what was wrong in our marriage. I could have accepted it if you had confronted me and insisted that we go for counseling. You never bothered. You never tried to fight for our marriage even when I asked you about it. You just turned to another man and gave him everything that you promised only to me. I can't forgive that, now or ever."

With that I handed her the second of the two envelopes.

"These are divorce papers. I had them made out last week after I quit my job. You'll be well taken care of. I want this divorce to be simple and quick. If you don't contest it, I'll leave you the house and one million dollars. If you contest it, I'll use everything I have from your affair in court and I will fight to take everything and leave you with nothing! I'll destroy Bill Collins and I'll leave you with nothing. The choice is yours."

Serena fell to her knees with her head down and tears coursing down her face. She was screaming. "Please John. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Please, please don't do this to me. I'm sorry. Let me try to make it up to you. You have to give me a chance to make it right!"

Sobbing, shoulders shaking and face twisted in panic and grief.

"I am leaving today for what was to have been our anniversary trip. I left instructions with my attorney on how to reach me and how to handle the divorce. I do not intend to ever see you or speak to you again. I will call the boys and let them know how to reach me."

"Finally, I have written a letter to each of our sons. I have told them exactly what happened and how you betrayed me. If you fight this divorce I will send those letters. If you accept my terms, they will never see them. In the meantime I will tell the boys that you and I have some problems and that our marriage is over. I will tell them that we have grown apart and decided to separate. I will trust that they won't think too badly of me."

Serena was now completely shattered. She had dropped to the floor and lay there sobbing with her arms over her head. I looked at her but couldn't feel anything. I could only remember her words to Bill as they betrayed me in that hotel room. That memory was enough to give me the strength to turn away and walk out of the house. I could still hear her sobbing as I walked out the door of the house we had raised a family in for the last time.