Survivor's Remorse

"Maybe, she was sick too. You know, maybe she had her own issues," he said. "Maybe you should give it one more shot, because you seem to be pretty miserable without her."

"No way," I said. "As much as I love her and want her back. It would take a hell of a shock, to make me get over what she did. But like you said I'm miserable. I was going out with another woman for a while. But I had to end that relationship. She claimed I was trying to turn her into Wendy."

I dropped my head like I was really distraught. What I really did was looked into the mirror behind the bar. I saw Wendy straining to hear every word I was saying. Rick had to hold her down to keep her from getting up. I laid some bills on the bar and headed for the exit. It was all I could do not to start bowing and blowing kisses. I had just done the greatest acting job of the past ten years. Where the hell was my Oscar?"

I got back in my Jeep and called Saraya from the road. "You sound really happy," she said sleepily.

"I'm always happy when I talk to you," I said.

"If you're that happy talking to me, you could be a lot happier," she said.

"How could I possibly be any happier?" I asked.

"You could come over here and warm me up," she said.

"Saraya!" I said.

"My Dad is asleep. I'm thirty one years old. I can do what I want, Mr. Dallbinger," she said.

"Saraya, you're too special for me to treat you like a booty call type of woman," I said. "I also have too much respect for your dad to do that."

"I love you, Vee," she said quietly. "You have no idea how much. You also have no idea what you just did."

* * * * * *

Wendy

I was so excited that I could barely sit still. Luckily for me Rick was there to hold me down.

We threw some bills on the table, even thought we hadn't gotten any drinks yet. Then we hurried out the back door. "He wants me back - he wants me back - he wants me BAAAAAAAAAAAACK!" I screamed excitedly.

"He never said that," said Rick.

"Look asshole, he said I was the love of his fucking life," I told him. "And you already know that he's the love of mine."

"Yeah I know that," he said. "So I guess the wedding is off, huh?"

"Are you high?" I asked him. "I need to marry you more than ever! Didn't you hear the part about how it would take a big shock for him to get over what I did? Think about it Moron, seeing me marry another man would be a huge shock. But don't worry, Ricky, I haven't forgotten our deal. We got together to support each other. The deal was you help me get Vee back. And I help you with Janice. I have an idea that might help."

"What's the idea?" he asked.

"Sometime after the wedding, I'm going to talk to Vee. When he tells me how much he wants me back, I'll offer to divorce you and remarry him. As much as I hate it, my marriage to him is going to end Friday. That was the whole reason we're getting married on Saturday. We wanted to piss him off remember?

Vee has no idea that the wedding is fake. So I'll tell him that I know a lawyer who can get me a quickie divorce, but it will cost money. I'll also tell him that we need to give you some money to get you to agree to it. And I'll give all of that money to you. It will probably help you catch up on your alimony and child support.

And once Vee and I get together, Janice will see how happy the two of us are, so maybe she'll give you a second chance too. She must love you at least a little bit to be as angry as she is. Now we need to get home quickly."

"Why?" he asked.

"Rick, I need to get fucked, pretty badly right now," I said. "Didn't you hear Vee talking about making babies with me?"

"Oh Great!" he said. "Another night of you pretending I'm someone else while we fuck. Can you at least use MY name when you cum?"

"I'll try," I smirked. But I knew I wouldn't. When we got back to my condo Rick jumped in the shower. I called Vee, just to hear the sound of his voice. But just like the last few times that I'd called him, he knew it was me. And like last time, he said my name.

It was awful. The two of us so obviously still in love, connected by that phone line. I had to talk to him, the pressure to do so was too hard to resist. Suddenly I had an idea.

"Yes, Vee, it's me," I said. "Look, I know I'm not supposed to contact you, but I have a reason to call. I'll hang up if you want."

"What do you want?" he asked. His voice sounded sad and beaten. Why couldn't he just put his fucking pride aside and just fucking tell me to come home. I would break every speed limit in the universe to get to him.

"Vee, our divorce is final at midnight," I said. "You know it's not what I want. I never wanted to be apart from you ..."

"Is there a point to this?" he asked angrily. "If not I'll hang up." He sounded really pissed, but not angry enough.

"Yes," I said trying to project calmness with my voice. I loved the fact that he was angry. It told me that he too was upset about our divorce becoming final in only minutes.

"Vee did you happen to see the announcement in the local paper?" I asked calmly.

"What announcement?" he growled.

"Vee, since you don't want me anymore, I have to move on with my life. I'm getting married tomorrow ..." I said quietly.

"Who the fuck told you that I didn't want you anymore?" he hissed. I was overjoyed that he admitted it.

"You divorced me, Vee," I said. "YOU ended our marriage."

"You cheated on me ... Multiple times," he hissed. "I couldn't trust you. It killed me, but you wouldn't stop. I have SOME pride Wendy."

"Well, I just wanted to invite you to my wedding, but you have to promise me not to make a scene," I said.

"Your Dad already invited me," he said angrily. "I'll probably come, but I think you're making a mistake."

"What do you want me to do, Vee? I'm not a teenager, I'm thirty years old. My biological clock is ticking pretty hard. I want to be married and I want to have some kids. Did you notice that I said KIDS? That was an "S" on the end. Someone is going to get me pregnant a lot. If it can't be you ..."

I stopped talking because he had dropped the phone. He was mumbling something in the background. I was pretty sure that I had him.

"I'll be there," he said in a voice that sounded angrier than I've ever heard him. It made me realize suddenly that my husband was back. He was pissed. He was jealous. His emotions were back. He was whole again and he wanted me back. He just didn't know how to get me back without sacrificing his self respect. I just needed to push him over the edge and I would have him back. I was so excited that I started humping my pillow, imagining that it was him between my legs. I needed to cum so I started rubbing my pussy as we spoke.

"Goodbye, Vee," I said. "I'll see you tomorrow. Remember, no scenes at my wedding!" He hung up on me.

"Who was that on the phone?" asked Rick. "I see you started without me!"

He crawled up onto the bed and got between my legs. He lined his dick up and pushed it home. The friction in my vagina and the force of him pushing his pelvis against me caused me to breathe harder, but that was it.

On a whim, I opened my eyes and looked at him. He had his eyes closed and his cum face on. I wondered who the hell he was thinking about.

There was no kissing. There was no rubbing or stroking each other's body. We were only fucking. He was trying to get off to his fantasy while I was trying to get off to mine.

I closed my eyes and imagined that it was my husband on me. I imagined him kissing me. I imagined him cupping my breasts and sucking my nipples until I screamed. The fantasy was so real that I think I really did scream.

I could feel him inside of me and it was very exciting. "Vee, Baby, fuck me harder," I gushed. And he did. He started driving his dick in me so hard that his balls were slapping against my ass. He pulled out and flipped me over and took me from behind. He grabbed my hair and started pulling on it.

"I love this long silky hair," he said. Again I wondered who the fuck he was imagining. My hair was barely collar length and Janice had curly hair.

I went back to the fantasy as he started slamming my pussy harder. I was pushing my ass back at him just as hard. "Take me, Vee," I gushed. I spread my legs as wide as I could to let him get further inside of me. I was surprised then because I began to feel that tingling between my legs. I felt that little itch that told me I was going to cum soon. I hadn't felt that in a long time.

"Ohhh fuuuuuuck!" he yelled. "I knew she'd be good, but Damn. I came so hard my nuts exploded. That was the best one ever!"

"Shit!" I yelled. I'd been so close. The bastard had almost done it. As he slumped down next to me, I looked over and saw a satisfied smirk on his face. I started to kick his ass out of my condo, but o still needed him for the wedding.

I reached down between my legs and realized that his sperm was pouring out of me.

"You forgot the condom dumb ass," I hissed.

"What the hell are you so upset about?" he smirked. "Didn't you and Vee have a good time? That was the best fuck you and I have ever had. When I felt you pushing your ass into me, it was almost like heaven. I told you, my nuts may never be the same."

"I was so close to cumming myself that I got pissed," I said. "Who the hell were you imagining?"

"If I tell you, you'll get really pissed," he said.

"I won't," I told him. "I don't care who you fuck. As a matter of fact, I wanted this to be special since it may be our last time together."

"In that case, can I get that ass?" he asked smiling at me.

"On two conditions," I said.

"Anything," he said. "I'll do anything."

"Number one, you can never tell anyone, ever that I let you do it," I said. He nodded. "And number two, like I said I was really close to cumming. So I want you to eat me until I cum."

"I didn't really want to fuck your ass anyway," he said. "I don't think my dick will even work again after that last one."

"Come on, Rick," I whined.

"It's all sticky and stinky down there," he said. "No way."

"It all came out of you," I told him.

"Exactly," he said. "It was stuff I didn't want and didn't need. That was why I shot it out of me. Hell, shit and piss come out of me too and I ain't putting my lips anywhere near them either."

He rolled over and pretended to be falling asleep.

"You forgot to tell me who you were imagining," I said.

"That hot Mexican chick that Vee was with at the picnic," he said. "She has all of that hair, those boobs and that butt. But somehow she's still slim and pretty. And you can tell by the look in those eyes that she's fiery. I'm telling you it felt like fire shooting out of my dick when I came."

"Get the fuck out of my bed," I hissed. "You can sleep on the God damned floor."

* * * * * *

Vee

I awoke Saturday morning with a smile on my face. It was all I could do not to laugh my ass off. I went out to run to calm myself down. I came home, showered and dressed.

I put on a very nice suit. It was one that Wendy liked seeing me in. I was just trying my tie, when the phone rang.

"What are you doing today?" she asked. Just the sound of her voice made me smile.

"I'm going to a wed-lynch party," I said.

"A what?" she asked. I explained it all to her and before I finished she was laughing with me. "Good ... That bitch deserves it. Do you want me to come with you?"

"You can't," I reminded her. "We broke up remember?"

"We aren't going to stay broken up are we?" she asked. I could hear the nervousness in her voice.

"Saraya, how could we be broken up if we were never officially together?" I asked.

"Says you," she said.

"Come on Saraya, you know the rules," I said. "You made them up. You and I haven't even dated yet. I have to beat you in a race to get a date."

"Yet you still drive a Jeep," she said sarcastically. "Anyway, I have to tell you something. I've decided that ..."

"Baby, I have to get out of here if I'm going to be on time for the wedding," I said.

"Did you call me Baby?" she asked.

"Sorry," I said. It just slipped out.

"Don't be sorry," she gushed. "I liked it. I have shivers up and down my spine from it. I hope I can stay still for them to cut my hair."

"So THEM can what?" I asked. "Who the hell are them? And why are them cutting your hair?"

"Honey, don't get upset," she said. "I thought I might try a different style. Something short and playful like your volleyball playing giant girlfriend."

"Saraya, I hate her fuckin' hair," I said. "I could never hate you, even if you did something that silly, but please don't."

"Relax, Vee, if you don't want me to do it, I won't," she said. "I'll stop by so you can see that I didn't get much cut off, okay?"

"Hey, did you call me Honey?" I asked.

"It just slipped out," she laughed.

An hour later I was sitting in a folding chair inside of a small decrepit looking church. There were possibly four people there. Six if you included the fat woman sitting in front of what had to be the oldest piano in the world, and a woman who was sweeping the floor as we waited for the ... "Ceremony?" to begin.

"I know that I should not say anything against the house of the lord. And all churches are equal in his sight," said a voice from behind me. "But dammit, we should have held this thing in my church."

It was Wendy's dad, my soon to be former father in law.

"Hey, Dad. Where's your wife?" I asked.

"She's at home, praying," he said. "She refused to attend this fiasco. She said Wendy is making a mockery of the institution of marriage. I can't say I disagree with her. But Wendy is our daughter, so I have to support her, no matter how wrong I think she is, or no stupid I think this is."

I nodded. "Why are you here?" he asked. "Did you lose a bet?"

"Wendy called and invited me," I said. "She told me that we had to move on with our lives. She said she had to move on because she couldn't wait for me. It was time for her to start having kids. And despite the way that things ended, Wendy was the love of my life. Maybe things didn't work out, but maybe we can salvage something out of this. Maybe we can be friends."

"Vee, you were always a class act," he said. "Even through the divorce. You never locked her out of the money in the accounts. You didn't scream at her. You even went through the counseling. And when it failed and you had to rub her nose in what she was doing ... You did it in the privacy of your home to save her, and my family any embarrassment. I just wish she was remarrying you instead of that ... God forgive me ...but it's the only description that fits ... That cheating asshole.

What makes her think that he'll be faithful to her? That guy has three kids with his ex wife. If he cheated on her you know he'll cheat on Wendy. Somehow this just feels wrong. Did you know that as recently as last night, Wendy was still telling her mother she loves YOU?

I walked in on a conversation between Wendy and my wife. Her mom asked Wendy if she loved this Rick guy. Wendy told her, without even pausing to think about it, "of course not Mom. I love Vee. But sometimes you have to get what you need by taking the long way."

We heard the door open and Rick stepped into the room. He walked around shaking everyone's hand. Even more shocking was the fact that Kerri, all six feet plus of her came in and sat down next to me. She was wearing a skirt so short that she had to put her jacket in her lap to cover up how much the skirt rode up when she sat down.

Kerri's legs were incredible. But I moved away from her. I did it for her own good. I was remembering the way that Saraya had mopped up the floor with Wendy at the picnic.

Rick winked at me and then took his place next to the minister who I swear looked like Foster Brooks.

The fat woman began playing the wedding march on her piano that was obviously out of tune. I was amazed at the way the flab hanging from her upper arms jiggled and vibrated with every movement of her arms. I couldn't tell if she was hitting wrong notes every so often or if the piano was simply that much out of tune.

The hinges on the door squealed loudly as Wendy pranced into the room. I was laughing my ass off and trying to hold it in when I compared the dog and pony show I was at to our wedding eight years prior. We'd spent nearly forty thousand dollars on the wedding and reception. Even with our parents footing nearly half of the bill it had taken us almost five years to pay it off.

It felt like I was watching a dollar store wedding.

"Vee, did you know that she was recycling the wedding ring you bought her?" asked her father. "The jerk couldn't even afford a ring."

They both looked bored as Foster ... I mean the minister read their vows from a piece of loose leaf paper that he kept referring to.

When he got to the part about, "If there's anyone here who knows any reason ..." My father in law and I looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders.

There was actually a pregnant pause that went throughout the hall. Wendy turned her head and looked at me.

No one said anything, and a few minutes later, Foster Brooks pronounced them man and wife. Surprisingly, no one cheered. Not one person in that hall even clapped. It was like we were all there to witness an accident.

Rick pulled Wendy over to him to kiss her. Just as he puckered up, Wendy turned her head. He ended up kissing her on the cheek. It was extremely awkward.

Foster turned and waved his hand like a Magician. "I now present to you Mr. And Mrs ...?" Rick, what's your last name ... This is Rick and his new wife," he said.

No one clapped. I think we were all as tired of the proceedings as the wedding was tacky. But things were destined to get worse.

"O ... O ... Okay people! Let's partaaaayyyyy!" yelled Foster. He pulled a flask out of his pocket and took a long drink. At the same time the fat woman who'd played the piano stood up and reached behind the piano. She pulled out a battered boom box and slammed it down on top of the piano. She picked up a clear plastic bag that seemed to be filled with cassette tapes.

She cracked her knuckles scanned the crowd and then smiled and selected a tape. She placed the tape in the boom box slamming the door shut. She started nodding her head and waving her arms around as the scratchy sound of the tape advancing came over the speakers. A few seconds later she yelled in a surprisingly high pitched voice, "Let's dance everybody!"

I was still reeling from the sound of her voice as "The Freaks come out at night," poured out of the boom box. I guess she was supposed to be the DJ.

"This is my jam!" exclaimed Kerri, bobbing her head and shaking her hands back and forth. Behind her the woman who'd been cleaning when we walked in, set up a small, rickety table. She put a large plastic bowl in the center of the table.

As I watched she, using her hands, scooped potato chips from a large bag into the bowl. She then pulled out a pitcher that looked like it contained water. My ex father in law and I stood there in open mouthed shock as she produced two packets of "Kool ade," and emptied them into the pitcher. She poured a half a bag of sugar into the pitcher and then stirred it with her finger.

"Wanna dance?" Kerri asked me.

"Saraya would kill me," I said.

"I thought the two of you broke up," she said.

"We had a misunderstanding, but we cleared it up," I said. Something seemed funny to me.

"But Wendy said that ..." she blurted out. She stopped herself but suddenly I realized that Kerri had been feeding Wendy information about me and vice versa.

"Tell Wendy, that I wish her a happy marriage and a happy life," I said. Behind us, the cleaning woman/slash caterer was adding Oreos to the bowl of chips.