The Heart of the Forest

Valentine's Day was a week away, and everyone thought Carlos was nearly over her. He thought he was nearly over her, too. Yet there he was, hiking up the overgrown trail at the back of Levy Park, up into the forest of tall old trees. He hiked for ten minutes, finally reaching the flat boulder next to that familiar crooked tree. He traced the heart he had carved into the side of the tree, and the initials it contained. CH + EG. Carlos Hernandez and Emma Gregg.

At least it had been two weeks since he'd last made the hike. That was progress. Better than when he was doing it every day. Anyways, it was almost Valentine's Day. Wasn't he allowed to think of her, when it was his first Valentine's Day without her after three years with her?

Carlos pulled a Corona out of his jacket pocket and and bag of crackers. He popped open the beer and sipped it while resting on the boulder. Recalling how he'd made love to her on this same boulder, a summer evening that didn't seem like so long ago. The air had been warm, the stars twinkling overhead. Afterwards they perched on the flat rock, leaning against each other, naked, feeling like creatures of the forest. Feeling like they had all the time in the world.

A breeze swirled across the clearing, and the leaves of the crooked tree tickled his hair. He didn't mind. He sipped his beer slowly, chewed his crackers one by one. Letting himself get lost in the memories of a better time.

When the beer was gone, he shoved the empty bottle back in his pocket, and turned over the empty bag, shaking the remaining crumbs out for whatever birds happened by. He looked at that carved heart one more time, let out a long breath, before heading back down the trail.

***

Under the moonlight, Shoga shuffled slowly through the forest. His loose brown skin rustled with every step. He stepped out of the tree cover, and his black eyes peered up at the moon, a thin sliver in the dark sky.

He found Hazhanaesha exactly where he'd expected, stretched out naked on the boulder. She hummed to herself, twisting a curl of her dark brown hair around her finger. She had a long and curvaceous body, and he felt a sudden lust for her which he quickly forced from his thoughts. It was an aspect of her nature to inspire desire, and it affected even him.

"Hazhanaesha! I knew I would find you here. How long can you remain here?" Shoga crept up to the boulder and stopped, gazing down at her with disapproval.

"He came again, Shoga..." she sighed. "Alone. He sat beneath me. I know he thought of her." Hazhanaesha idly traced the skin just below her left breast with a long finger. Her skin was pale as the moonlight, but her finger followed a dark line drawn on her skin, a line that curved in the shape of a heart. Inside the heart, more dark lines, forming letters: CH + EG.

"He comes to think of her," Shoga said. "That is why you are being foolish, my dear."

"I know," she said sadly. "When so much time passes and he's not here, I feel happy, because I know his love for her is fading. But I feel sad as well, knowing that when that love fades, he will no longer come."

"It is not our way to stay in one place like this," Shoga said. "You know that. This life you've lead is for the Unchanging. It is not for you, just as it is not for me. We are meant to walk the forest."

"I know." She leaned back, resting her head against the hard stone. "You told me it was foolish, when he was with her."

"It is still foolish." Shoga shook his head, rustling the leaves that hung around his face. "More foolish, perhaps. From sunrise to sunset, you stand in this spot. For what? To be there on those rare days he comes? So he can look at that heart he put on you and think about his other love? That is no life, Hazhanaesha."

"I love him," she said simply.

"So you've said." Shoga clasped his hands together in front of his broad chest. "A love that can come to nothing. How long will you stand here, waiting for him, when he no longer comes? How many seasons? In the end, he will stop coming. Just as you say. His love for that woman will fade, and he will no longer want to remember this place. He comes here for her, not for you."

Hazhanaesha closed her eyes for a moment. "The way he spoke to her, the way he held her, the look in his eyes.... You never saw these things. I saw them. He took joy from her, just by being with her. Why can't I have that? Sometimes, he looks at me in the same way... but I know he is only looking at this drawing he has put on me, and he is thinking of her..."

Shoga held out his hand. "Come, dear one. We will walk tonight. Over the hills and to the north. By the next moon, we can be in the ring of mountains, by the Lake of Mirrors. You know how beautiful it is there. This man will find someone new, one of his own kind, and his memory will fade from you, as his carving will slowly fade from your skin."

She didn't speak for a long moment, and Shoga had hope that she saw the sense in his words. But then she asked, "Will you give me your DaySoul, Shoga?"

"Hazhanaesha! What are you asking?"

"You've grown it, haven't you? You've been growing it for many seasons?" She looked up at him, her dark eyes imploring.

"Yes, I have! Many seasons! Would you have me spend it on this?"

"Please, Shoga..." She touched his gnarled leg with her fingers. "A day is coming, the Day of Lovers. Let me have just that one day. Then I will do what you ask, I will walk with you, over the hills and to the north. I will leave this place. But please let me have one memory, one memory that I can keep with me."

"It is pointless," Shoga grumbled. But he saw the hope glowing in her eyes, and knew that no matter his show of resistance, he would eventually give in to her request. "Near a hundred seasons, I've grown it," he muttered. "And I'll wait another hundred seasons to grow it again. And for what? A foolish girl who should know better."

"For me." She smiled softly at him. "A foolish girl. And for love."

"Two foolish things, then." He scowled.

**

On Thursday morning, Elena noticed her brother putting on his jacket. "Carlos!" she called to him. "Did you stack the beers in the freezer?"

"Just finished," he said. "I'm going to go for a quick drive. I'll be right back."

"Now? I still need your help getting ready. Valentine's Day is one of our busiest nights, you know."

"I know. I just need to make a quick stop."

She put her hands on her hips. "You're not going to that place in the woods, are you?"

He hesitated, and that was answer enough.

"Carlos! Are you serious? You're still wasting time thinking about her? Even after she cheated on you like that?"

"I know, I know." Carlos looked away. "But it's Valentine's Day, right? The bars going to be packed tonight with people in love, staring at each other with those lovey dovey eyes, talking sweet bullshit at each other... and I gotta be the bartender, serving them drinks and enduring all of it. Meanwhile, Emma's somewhere, probably in some other bar, with that guy, talking the same lovey dovey shit... I just need a moment to reflect, okay? Can you give me a pass today?"

Elena shook her head. "Fine. Do what you gotta do. But don't take too long, all right? I really need your help."

He nodded and headed for his car.

***

Carlos stared, completely stunned.

It was gone.

The boulder was there, of course, and he was positive he was in the right spot. But the tree was gone. He could see the hole where it had been, the loose dirt where it had been pulled out.

Carlos sat heavily on the boulder. He stared at the hole where the tree had been, wondering what had happened. Who had removed it? A vandal? Someone in the forestry service? Had the tree been diseased in some way? Or maybe an animal? Did bears ever uproot trees and carry them away?

Emma? Or Elena? Maybe some other well-meaning friend who wanted him to move on with his life?

Maybe it was a sign. Maybe it was God telling him to put Emma from his mind. Today, on Valentine's Day, of all days.

Carlos had a beer in his jacket pocket, but he didn't feel like drinking it. The disappearance of the tree had erased his desire to reminisce. Elena needed him at the bar, anyway. He turned and headed back down the trail.

As he crossed the parking lot for Levy Park, he saw a naked girl. The park was otherwise empty; it was a chilly weekday and his car was the only car in the parking lot. In the distance, he saw the girl, standing between two trees. She appeared to be watching him.

He stopped and returned her gaze. She had a slender body, dark brown hair long enough to reach the start of her long legs, a narrow line of the same dark hair between her legs. Perky breasts, almost too large for her thin frame. Big eyes, beautiful eyes.

Why was she naked? Was she in trouble? His car was the only car in the parking lot. So where had she come from, and how did she intend to get home? Carlos paused, trying to decide if he should get involved, finally deciding he should at least make sure she was all right.

"Hey!" He called out to her. "Everything okay?"

She flinched, as if surprised he had seen her. Carlos took a step in her direction, but in a flash she turned and fled. He caught a quick glimpse of the loveliest ass he had ever seen just before it disappeared into the bushes.

"Well. That was interesting." Carlos scratched the side of his face. He wondered what the girl's story was. Maybe she was just someone enjoying the park, naked because she thought she was alone and could get away with it. Maybe Carlos had surprised her. Or maybe she had a lover lying in the woods just beyond the trees, waiting for her return. Whatever her circumstances, he had no intention of chasing her down to find out what they were.

"Happy Valentine's Day!" he called in her direction. No response, but he hadn't expected one. He opened his car door and climbed in. A glance in the rear view mirror as he drove away, hoping for another glimpse of her, but she didn't reappear.

***

"What's with that grin on your face?" Elena asked Carlos as he hauled in a keg to store under the bar.

"What grin?"

"I'm not complaining... just didn't expect to see you smiling after what you were saying this morning. Your little pilgrimage into the woods cleared your head?"

Carlos sat on the keg. "I don't know..." he said. "A couple unusual events. You know the tree, where I carved Emma and my initials?"

"Uh-huh."

"It was gone. Someone pulled it up. Not even a stump. The whole tree was gone."

"Are you serious?" Elena leaned against the bar. "Who would do that?"

"I don't know. I don't know who would do it, or why."

Elena looked thoughtful. "Maybe it's a sign, Carlos. A sign for you to finally let go of her from your heart."

Carlos raised his eyebrows. "That makes me wonder if my well-meaning sister got rid of the tree."

"Me? What?" Elena laughed. "No way!"

Carlos felt himself grinning again. It felt good. "That's not the only weird thing that happened. As I was leaving the park, I looked across the way, and there was a woman, standing there, watching me. Completely naked."

"What?!?" Elena laughed again. "Now that explains the stupid grin!"

Fernando poked his head out from the back room. "What'd you say, Carlos? You saw a naked chick?"

That made Elena laugh even harder. "Fernando! Of course you can't seem to hear anything anytime, but someone mentions a naked woman and you come running!"

"Hey, I was right in the next room," Fernando protested. "So what, Carlos? She was really naked?"

"Yup," Carlos confirmed. "Nothing on at all. Completely bare-ass. I asked if she needed help. She looked surprised I could see her and ran off to hide."

"What'd she look like, man? Nice tits?" Fernando asked.

"Very nice." Carlos tried to picture the woman in his mind. "In fact, she was one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen. Tall, curvy in the right places, beautiful face with long hair. She looked like a supermodel."

"Damn!" Fernando shook his head. "Some guys get all the luck!"

"She was pretty, huh?" Elena smiled.

Carlos turned back to his work. "Eh, it doesn't matter. I'll never see her again. But it was an unexpected treat, that's for sure."

Elena stood with her arms crossed, watching her brother work for a moment. She couldn't help smiling. At long last, his spirits seemed to be improving. Maybe he was finally reaching the point where he could forget Emma and get on with his life.

"Two hours before we open," she told him. "Better strap down while we can, hermano... it's going to be a long night."

***

The first couple walked in shortly after 3 PM. After that, a steady stream of pairs walked through the doors, and the bar was quickly crowded. It was the same, every Valentine's Day. The restaurants filled up and the unfortunate couples without dinner reservations ended up at the bar, killing time while they waited an hour or two for their tables. In some cases, the bar became the date, and couples would linger for hours, sipping martinis and cosmopolitans, drinking away their inhibitions, until finally they staggered off to his place or hers for the night's finale.

Carlos and Fernando ran the bar while Elena and Tina took orders from the tables. No one had any reasonable expectation of good service that day; Elena and Tina ran back and forth with drink orders but they were clearly overwhelmed. Carlos drew beer after beer from the tap, watching the flow of men and women passing in and out of the front door. A young couple sat right in front of the taps, both of them blonde, the girl in a tight blue dress. They had their heads leaned against each other, as if communicating through their foreheads. Carlos could see their lips moving as they whispered to each other. He looked away, wishing the couple would leave so that someone else could take the seats.

Fernando passed behind him. "Ey, Carlos, how many of these guys in here going to get laid tonight? Good amount, eh?"

"Probably..."

"Valentine's Day, man. That's when we get the most girls in here. You see all the pretty girls we got in here?"

"Yeah. But all of them come in with dates."

Fernando laughed. "I know. It ain't fair." Fernando reached for a bottle of Grey Goose but stopped abruptly. "Woah, check out the one coming in!"

Carlos looked towards the door and immediately recognized the woman that stood there. The girl from the park. He had only glimpsed her for a moment, and from a distance, but he recognized her long disheveled hair and distinctive raindrop-shaped eyes peering out of from under extraordinarily long eyelashes.

If she'd still been naked, he would have had an even easier time recognizing her. He stared at what she was wearing, trying to decide if his eyes were tricking him or not.

"Yo, man, is she wearing a garbage bag?" Fernando asked.

That did seem to be the case. It looked like the woman had taken a black trash bag and ripped holes for her arms and head. Her slender arms were bare up to the point that they disappeared into the sides of the bag. The trash bag wasn't long enough, coming down to just barely cover her hips, leaving her long legs visible. Carlos suspected that if the girl raised her arms in the air, the trash bag would hike up enough to give the whole bar a clear view of her panties.

If she was wearing panties. Carlos strongly suspected she was not.

"That's the girl," he said.

"What?"

"That's her. The naked girl from the park."

"Really? What's she doing here?"

"I don't know..."

"She follow you, man?"

"I don't think so. I mean... she was naked! And why would she follow me anyway?"

Fernando leered at the strange girl. "She ain't naked no more. But she's damn close to it."

Carlos watched as the girl hesitantly stepped in the gap between the bar and the tables. She seemed oblivious to the stares directed at her. Her eyes wandered over the customers at the tables, as if looking for someone. She turned and he could see the pensive look on her face as she glanced at the line of customers in front of the bar. Her eyes turned in his direction and stopped suddenly, focused on him. The pensive look melted away. She smiled brightly.

"No freakin' way..." Carlos heard Fernando mutter from next to him. The strange girl moved towards the bar, her hips swaying hypnotically as she walked. She wiggled her way between two of the stools, oblivious to the two men sitting in those stools, and leaned on the bar with her palms against the cherry wood. She gazed at Carlos, as if expecting something from him.

"Can I help you?" Carlos asked.

"Carlos..." she breathed. Her voice was low and sultry.

"Sorry... do we know each other?" Carlos could feel his heart beating quickly.

She cocked her head slightly and smiled to herself. "Kind of..."

It didn't register in his mind until that moment that she was alone. Unusual, on Valentine's Day, for a woman to come into the bar alone. A thought occurred to him, a thought that might explain her.

"I'm sorry. We don't allow... I mean, if you're a..." He couldn't finish. As soon as he started to say it, he knew she wasn't a prostitute. He had chased prostitutes out of the bar before. Something about her just didn't fit.

Instead, he said, "I don't think I know you. I would remember someone like you." Yet, something about her was very familiar. His eyes narrowed. Suddenly, he was sure he had seen her before. Sometime before the park. But he couldn't quite place it.

She dropped her eyes shyly. "You know me. But not like this."

"I saw you at the park today," Carlos blurted out.

She looked up. Her eyes twinkled. "Yes!"

"You were... ah.... you were... naked?"

She smiled, looking down at the bar again, where her palms still pressed against the wood of the bar. "Yes. I suppose that's true. I hadn't found anything to wear yet."

Hadn't found anything to wear? What did that mean? He considered drawing attention to her trash bag attire, but decided to let it go for the moment. "That's where I know you from?" he asked. "The park today?

"Yes. But no. I mean, you've seen me before today. Don't you remember?"

Carlos frowned. She was so beautiful. Why couldn't he remember where he'd seen her?

"Carlos!" Someone called his name from the end of the bar. It was Elena. Reluctantly, Carlos moved away from the dark-haired woman to talk to his sister. Elena was tapping the bar impatiently. "I got drink orders! Can we keep things moving please?"

"Yeah..." he agreed, feeling flustered. "Sure. What's the first order?"

"A pitcher of Budweiser, plus one glass of the house pinot. What in the world is that girl over there wearing?"

"Trash bag. I think."

"I think you're right. Is there a reason?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" Elena looked at Carlos like he was crazy. "I just saw you talking to her. You didn't think to ask why she's wearing a damn trash bag?"

"I'm just glad she's not naked anymore," Carlos said. "That's the girl from the park."

"Wha? That's the girl you saw today?" Elena looked back at the slender woman standing at the bar. "Is she stalking you or something?"

Carlos felt himself grinning again. "That's an interesting thought..."

Elena slapped him lightly on the shoulder. "Hey! Find out about the trash bag, all right? To me, that's a sign of crazy right there. You don't need a crazy girl stalking you, no matter what she looks like."

Carlos didn't answer as he swiftly put together the drink orders. He snuck a glance at the mystery woman, and saw that the couple next to her had started to engage her in conversation. He traced her profile with his eyes. Why did she seem so familiar? Why couldn't he remember where he'd seen her?

It must have been at the park, or in the old forest behind the park. That's where he'd seen her earlier that day, so he knew she must spend time there sometimes. Maybe he'd seen her jogging or sunbathing, maybe with her hair different. He thought he would've remembered seeing someone as distinctly beautiful as she was, but you never knew.