The Safe Girl Ch. 03

"By the way, do you do butt crunches?" I narrowed my eyes and she just giggled.

Her checking me out took the little guy the rest of the distance. I was hard. And I decided that my several weeks of ogling, lusting, getting caught literally with my pants down and the rest of the experiences meant that I was not going to run for cover. She wanted me in a speedo? Fine. She was going to have to accept ALL of me in a speedo. So I stood proudly as my rather hard cock pushed out the very small material.

She was looking me in the eyes with the smiling-I-want-to-look-down look. I think I was doing the same to her.

"Well then," I said.

"Well then," she responded.

So we sat on our chairs.

We spent the next hour enjoying the sun, the waves, the sand and each other. She asked lots of questions. I did the same. We told stories. And little me did seem to go down for a bit, but never completely. I think I must have a small exhibitionist side. And frankly the material constantly rubbing me there was not helping.

"So about Beth . . . " she began casually, after some time of silence between us.

I took a sip from my drink and sat it back in the little cupholder on the chair. "Hmmm?" I couldn't see her eyes with her huge sunglasses on but I knew she was looking directly at me.

"That didn't work out huh? " She had this smiling expression on the bottom half of her face, but it felt like a mask. I really wanted to see her eyes. Actually I really needed to see her eyes. I didn't like this.

"Yup."

"When you two 'went to bed' . . . " She did the air quotes thing with her fingers. " . . . You only were in there for like fourteen and a half minutes."

"Like fourteen and a half minutes?" I smiled at her. Little Miss Precision.

"Yes. Now shush and focus." I could imagine a narrowing eye expression behind her huge shaded lenses. "So, in the fourteen and a half minutes, she seemed to REALLY enjoy herself and you broke it off . . . I am wondering what happened in there . . ." She swirled her finger around as if "in there" referred to a bucket.

Man, I wish she wasn't wearing sunglasses. She didn't seem upset but Jess speaks a lot through her eyes.

"I focused on her for .. um . . a bit," I began. But then I stopped. Do I give her details? She just silently waited. Fine, let's be honest.

"Um .. then she wanted to return the favor." I was feeling pretty uncomfortable.

"Hmmm. So you helped her out, which is what I heard." I saw some perspiration on her temples. I then noticed some drops around her neck, and just above her cleavage, and a single drop slipping down into her . . "Stephen!"

My eyes popped back up to her face. "Sorry."

She smirked. "So you . .helped her . . "

"Jess, do you really want to know what we did?"

She silently nodded.

"You sure?"

She silently nodded again. Fine, all in.

"Ok, we kissed, I undressed her, I pleasured her with my. . mouth. . " She seemed to have a bit more perspiration forming now. And her breathing was more pronounced. "Then you heard what you heard, I guess. Afterwards, she offered to do the same for me. And in the middle, we stopped."

"You stopped her from giving you a blowjob!!??" Then she put her hand over mouth. "Sorry . . " she said quietly from behind her mouth.

I just nodded.

"Why?" Still talking from behind her hand which remained covering her mouth.

"It felt wrong, like I said."

"Why did it feel it wrong?"

I sighed. I had been honest with Jess so far, but I couldn't tell her all of this. Do I tell her that I could only think about her while this woman wrapped her lips around my hard dick? Do I tell her that I actually desperately wanted the naked beauty pleasuring me to stop so that I could just spend time with Jess?

"Um . . . I felt like . . . I was using her. It was not fair to her." I told her part of the truth, just omitting some that might have freaked her out a bit.

Her hand finally dropped as she looked at me like I was an alien. "You licked her pussy, brought her to an earth shattering orgasm but then stopped her from giving you a blow job because you felt like you were using her??!!" She actually looked. . upset?

I put my hands up, "um. . listen Jess . .I know it doesn't make sense . .but . . it was just the wrong thing to do."

That seemed to shake her out of her exasperation. "I am sorry, Stephen." Jess dropped her eyes. Well at least she seemed to be looking down a bit. "All of that is none of my business. I am sorry I pushed you."

I started to speak but she put her hand on mine. 'Hold on. . " She seemed to clear her throat before continuing. "Um. . and I do not understand at all but you have your reasons. And since I didn't like her anyway. . . cause she was bitchy and completely the wrong girl for you by all measurable standards and whatnot . . . I should be happy about it."

I nodded. "Thank you. And it's ok." And then I smiled at her. "You called me Stephen."

Her lips made an O shape. "Wow. I usually only call you that in my head. Sorry, Dr. H."

I laughed. "Stephen is fine. We are past the formalities I think." I motioned to my tiny speedo.

She grinned. "You got that right." She let out a breath. "So I know you likely will spank me but I have one more question . . . "

At this point I could only focus on the spanking her image, which incidentally was very hot. I just managed a silent nod to get her to continue.

"So are you going to . .like. . go out with someone else?"

I shook my head, coming out of the highly focused short spanking fantasy in my head. I glanced over at her and she seemed disappointed.

"Why not?"

"I just must not be ready yet." Also true, but slightly evasive.

She just nodded, seemingly accepting it.

I stood up, needing to do a reset. "I want to walk the beach a bit, want to come?" She looked up and smiled. "Sure."

I reached out with my hand and she took it to stand. She didn't let go of my hand as she stood there. And so I didn't either. And then we walked.

It is odd sometimes how you fall into a rhythm. At that moment we were holding hands with no good explanation. It's not like I was keeping her from slipping out to sea, but I guess we just both needed it. And it felt friendly. And a little not. Her fingers completely interlaced with mine so that each of her fingertips rested on my knuckles. She gently rubbed my skin as we walked.

Much of our walk was silent. At times we talked about nothing in particular. It was one of those comfortable walks where nothing was expected and all was enjoyed.

But then I blurted out . . .

"Why aren't you ever bringing any dates home?"

"Easy. I don't go on dates."

"Ever?"

"Recently, no."

"Why?"

She walked in silence for a bit. She was processing, maybe even processing that question for the first time.

"Just haven't found the right person, I suppose."

I nodded.

"When was the last time you went out with a guy. . or a girl . . wouldn't want to box you in." I was grinning. Well until she punched my arm.

"Dork. I am not into girls." I rubbed my arm.

"Well what are you into then?"

"Men."

"That's a little broad."

"I like to keep my options open." She smiled.

+++++++++++

Saturday evening, I walked into the living room to find Jess on my laptop, seemingly clicking around. "Um. . what are you doing?" I had just taken a shower and was wearing my standard flannel pants and tee-shirt combo. It looked like Jess was wearing a tank. And very small shorts. Wait. . . are we in the underwearist phase? She was sitting around in boyshorts panties! Holy moly.

She grinned up at me, "poking around."

"Jess . . . I have private stuff on . . " I was torn between seeing her legs on display, her stomach a little visible, her very tiny pelvic covering and whatever she might find on my laptop.

"No you don't!" She smiled at me.

Please don't find the plan document, please don't find the plan document, please don't find the plan document. I named it something like article23.docx or something. I figured she wouldn't look in those.

"Wait, you are looking at my browser history??!"

"Yep."

"And why are you looking at that?"

"Well to see what you have been looking at, obviously."

"Jess . . ." I began the lecture but she looked at me with this curious expression.

"So you haven't looked at much porn recently."

Are we really having this conversation? Really? "Um. . no."

"Why?"

"Just not into it at the moment."

She continued to stare at me. . analysis mode. Underwear-clad Jess scrutinizing me is not good.

"Well I was trying to see what kind of porn you like. Its been weeks according to the date stamps here." She pointed at several very embarrassingly titled entries.

I just nodded. If I don't respond much maybe she will just move along.

Apparently not.

"So you are no longer into .. " She put her glasses on and read a title from the screen " . . .'Cute Naked Brunet Masterbating'? . . And they misspelled some words there . .Hmmm."

I was only thinking about how to get out of this conversation. "Apparently not."

"Or . . ." She read again. " . . . 'Young Girl Fucks Him Hard'?"

"Correct."

"Well that's a shame." Was she joking around with me? I couldn't figure her out.

"When was the last time you. . you know. . " She actually moved her hand up and down. Good lord help me now.

Uncomfortable chuckle, followed by, "Um .. not sure. . weeks I guess."

She just stared at me. "You are an enigma, sir." She just shook her head. "Do you enjoy sex at all?"

I nodded but kept my answers short. "Very much."

"But you lost your. . drive?"

"No. Well yes. Well no. Just . . . I really don't know Jess."

"Well. . what can I do to help?" And then it became obvious what she just said and her hand went in front of her mouth in the 'oh shit' expression. "Oh. . I . .um . . well . . "

I smiled. "Its ok, Jess."

She came down from her blushing fit. "Ok, well lets take a look anyway." She hopped up. I watched her very closely as she walked into her room, her barely clad butt on display. God she has a cute butt. Zoinks.

She came back with a . .cable? She then hooked my laptop to the TV and sat down, patting the seat next to her. "Join me please." I shook my head emphatically no.

Ok, there are lots of reasons why all of this was a bad idea. I didn't know for sure what she had planned but I had an inkling that my browser history was involved. So me, the dream girl, her barely covered bottom, and projected porn history equals a bad move.

She patted the couch again. Shaking my head was apparently deemed an unacceptable response. So I sat down.

"Jess, why are you doing this?"

"Just trying to understand you."

"By looking at the porn that I used to watch?"

"Yep! Let's consider this research." She grinned at me before returning to the list of options in my history.

"Jess. . . "

"You stop watching porn, you rejected oral sex mid-stream . . . I want to understand."

"Jess. . . "

"Dr. H, you know me right?" I nodded. "Do you think you can actually stop me?" I shook my head. "Good." She patted my arm sympathetically.

She clicked on a link: it was one of the more romantic erotic movies. A man and a woman in a very clean, white well lit room. Whoever produced the video did an excellent job. I am a bit of a romantic so seeing two people actually enjoying themselves rather than just a woman getting banged randomly was much preferred. I also had a thing for glasses. This one included both of those concepts.

The scene opened with a very natural looking woman wearing glasses reading a book with her legs curled in a chair. She was wearing a sweater, but no pants. Maybe just panties. I couldn't really tell yet. Her lover comes in and slips behind her, massaging shoulders, kissing her neck. Its all very sensual and slow. I moved my eyes from the screen to Jess who seemed quite enthralled. She glanced at me and smiled.

"Good scene, huh?"

I nodded and smiled uncertain of how I should be in this situation. "Based on my research about you I thought you'd like this . . pLus this is kinda girl porn so I don't mind it." She smiled as if we were talking about what flowers to put in a garden.

"Doing anything for you?" She paused the video and pointed down in an exaggerated manner.

"Um . . . "

"I will take that as a yes! Noted." She smiled and restarted the video.

The man's shirt was off and jeans unbuttoned. It seems he thought it more efficient to not wear underwear as the base of his cock was visible above the zipper. The actress was now completely bottomless and her sweater was pushed up revealing her stomach. He moved down to her belly, planting kisses as he went.

I could feel Jess's eyes on me. It was both unnerving and extremely titillating. The smart thing to do would be to walk to my room. I was not that smart.

The scene continued, the man licking the woman, the woman squirming. Her fingers pulled on his hair, her eyes closing, moaning. The scene proved very effective. Jess made a mmmmm sound. I glanced at her, finding her fingering the neck of her shirt.

We watched for a bit longer with the woman pulling down the man's jeans. "Nice," muttered Jess as the man's rather impressive dick popped into view. The woman slowly licked the length of the man. I thought I heard a breath from Jess. I watched her from the corner of my eye.

I immediately started picturing Jess and I doing that: jeans crumpled on the floor, her tongue trailing up the length of my shaft, a lusty look in her eyes. I desperately wanted to touch myself at that moment, but exercised restraint. Somehow.

I noticed her squirming a bit out of the corner of my eye. I glanced down. Her thighs were tightly pressed together. Ok, that is very hot. I knew what that meant.

She glanced at me again. Our eyes met . . Something unspoken was exchanged. I stood and grabbed a blanket and returned to the couch, draping it over both of us. She covered up to her upper chest, me up over my stomach.

Everything turned me on so much that I didn't care. Barreling train again. Nothing stopping it.

I saw her shifting around under the blanket, adjusting clothes . .or removing clothes? Oh God.

"Do you have boxers on under these things?" Interrupting my thoughts Jess tugged on the leg of my flannel pants under the blanket. I nodded glancing at her eyes. She had this rather intense look.

"You could take off the flannel pants if you wanted." Also probably a very stupid idea. Hello my name is stupid. I slipped them off and let them pool at my feet.

I saw her hands moving across her chest under the blanket as I massaged the sides of my cock outlined through my boxers. Fuck it. I slipped those down too. Jess watched me, I am guessing figuring out what I was doing.

She shifted a little closer, the side of her thigh and hip touching mine. Apparently she had the same idea as me as she was definitely bottomless.

She moaned. I almost came.

She moaned again. Last longer Stephen. I didn't want the most erotic moment of my life to end. I could see her body shifting under the blanket, her hands moving. I could hear her breathing. I could hear a little wetness. God that's hot.

I moved my eyes from the screen and found hers staring right at me. We locked gazes. What movie? I don't see a porn movie . . .

My hand moved faster, pushing the blanket up and down with my pumping. My breathing increased with hers. We watched each other. It was amazingly intense.

"Are you close sweetheart?" The words didn't even seem like my own, but I wanted to know.

She bit her bottom lip and nodded her head quickly. 'A little . . . longer. . . "

I nodded. I watched her eyes, seeing how she was straining. . her eyes rolling on occasion .. her lips always parted letting her hot breath through. My face remained less than a foot from hers. I wanted to kiss her so badly.

I felt the couch moving with her movements. Her hips must have really been gyrating. That image burned into my brain.

I could see the intensity and urgency grow on her face. she was so close. I smiled, loving the beauty of it all. There was just something so intoxicating, sharing such a very sexual moment where I could only see her face.

I held back a little longer. She was breathing rapidly, she started to nod quickly, mouthing the word "almost . . ."

I nodded, feeling the pressure build. I only needed to change one movement and all would explode for me. i just wanted to time it perfectly.

She brought her legs up, her skin on her hip pressed against mine, she moaned something between a growl and the word 'nooooooow.' And I moaned a single long moan as the waves crashed over me. I grabbed my boxers and covered my lap as I shot pulse after pulse into the fabric, minimizing the mess. Her fingers gasped my thigh and dug in deep as she dealt with her ecstasy through her fingers on my thigh. There would be some marks there later. And I was not complaining at all.

She and I both shook, her body occasionally jolting in the after shocks. Her breathing still rapid she whispered "please hold me."

No hesitation. I pulled her to me, my arm snaking round her back. I laid back on the couch and pulled her to my side. Her body folded into mine, her face against my chest. Her bare stomach was against my side, one leg rested on top of my thigh. She kept her body from completely connecting and she avoided touching my semi-hard cock as it laid to the side, almost touching her.

I kissed her forehead and rubbed her back. Apparently her shirt was pushed all the way up as my hand gently massaged her naked back. I am pretty sure i felt her nipple brush against my chest. And that was where she fell asleep. No words were spoken.

I alternated between running my fingers through her hair and gently stroking her back with my fingertips. I loved feeling the slop as it reached her lower back. So perfect.

I relished in the feeling of it all. Oddly, I really needed that, but I knew that it was ultimately not a good thing. It was yet another connection between us, binding us together. It seemed that I could not help myself no matter what I did. She was just intoxicating.

I couldn't justify this in the plan. While i did technically use some random nameless actors in a porn, ultimately the sexual connection was not to nameless people on a screen but the beautiful girl right next to me.

When it was obvious that she was in her deep sleep mode, I sadly peeled myself out from under her. I wrapped the blanket tight around her to preserve her modesty and carried her into her room, tucking her in, kissing her goodnight. The routine was a little different this time . . . .

+++++++++++++

"Are you ready to tell me something awesome about Diane yet?" Jess came out of her room. It was Sunday evening and she had finished her eleven item list and we were just settling in after dinner for relaxation on the couch. I was in a pair of shorts and a tee and she had opted for a long tee-shirt with all other garments she possibly could be wearing a mystery. We were cosy. She slipped her feet into my lap where I dutifully began massaging.

Strangely, I think I was ready to talk about Diane. A little bit anyway. In the short time separating when I couldn't answer that question for Jess and now I had shifted a little to different thinking. I still felt my heart breaking as I thought about her. I still needed her. But Jess had filled several of those needs. She was my counter balance, my support, my cheerleader, my wise sounding board. Her cute little actions made me smile. She listened to me. She cared about me. She wasn't Diane 2.0. She wasn't replacing what Diane was to me. Rather she was Jess 1.0, fulfilling those needs and others that I didn't know I had. It both scared me and made me quite happy.

"Diane knew me better than I knew myself . . . " I began quietly, a tear starting to form. I paused a moment to think. Jess studied me. She nodded and placed her fingers on my arm, preemptively helping me through it. " . . . I never realized that until after she was gone. I thought of all of the things in my life that I couldn't figure out. She was . . adept. . at me." I thought about the months following her . . . passing. "The irony . . . she would have known what to say and what to do for me to help me through those hard months, after she was . . taken from me." I nodded to myself. "She would know what to say right now."