The Spiritualist

'In Hawthorn, near the station.'

Alec was glad of this opportunity to get the woman alone as she was his only link with Vicky.

He regarded Beatrice for a moment. There was just something about her, maybe her eyes. Again he felt the need to break away from her laser-like gaze.

He couldn't quite place it. Something about her just hit him. He found himself off kilter. It was weird. He had to snap out of it. There was more to the woman than met the eye. There was a depth to her he couldn't access.

As they made their way up Flinders Lane, the rain was sleeting down in torrents.

'We'll get soaked in this downpour,' Beatrice said.'

'Bad luck if we do. My car's just over Russell Street. Walk with me now.' He touched her arm. 'Come on. Follow me.'

Beatrice was cold, wet, soaked and miserable. She felt she had no choice but to follow the determined young man across the street to where his car was parked.

'Here we are,' Alec said, opening the passenger door.

'But I'm all wet,' she protested.

'I'm all wet too, and we'll get a lot wetter if we stand here arguing. Put your coat on the back seat and give me your brolly. I'll put it with mine in the boot.'

Beatrice quickly followed Alec's instructions, took off her coat and stumbled onto the front seat. Then Alec joined her.'

He was about to start the car when he turned to her. 'You haven't told me exactly where you live yet. You said Hawthorn. So I'll be heading east. But you could help me out with some further directions. I ... uh ... I kind of need your address, if you don't mind.'

'Oh, of course,' Beatrice said with a smile, 'I suppose that would help.'

She gave it to him and Alec added it into his phone.

'Is there any possibility I could get your phone number while I'm about it?'

She provided that, too, then asked, 'What sort of car is this?' she enquired as he pulled out into the one-way street, before turning left into Russell Street.

'As I said, I live near Hawthorn station. Just go down Wellington Street and then onto Burwood Road.

A little while later she said, 'I hope I'm not taking you too far out of your way.' They were crossing the bridge over the river.

'I live in the opposite direction, in Moonee Ponds. But it's no problem.'

They were heading towards Power Street.

'I spoke to Vicki again last night and she sends her love to you. She's told me a lot about you, about how you're very talented with your hands and love fixing things and you do French Polishing as part time work and how you love working on cars.'

'Is that all she said.'

'More or less. What sort of car is this? It's been kept in beautiful condition.'

'It's a 1954 Humber Hawk Sedan.

'1954? That's the year I was born. Your car is a vintage model like me.'

They came to a red light at the intersection and Beatrice looked at him before he entered Burwood Road.

'Just keep on for a bit and I'll tell you when to turn,' Beatrice said. 'Turn left at the next corner and then right into Lennox Street. I live near the park.' Alec soon found himself parking outside a single-fronted cottage.

'Would you like to come in for coffee, or are you in a hurry to get home?'

'Well, I don't want to put you out or anything. I've got plenty of time. Thank you.' He followed her to the door. And waited while she dug through her purse for the key.

He pushed open the door and let her go in first.

Alec found himself entering a large living-room, which had chintz furnishings, a large sofa and a simple dining table laden with candles and flowers. There was an open fireplace and several bookcases over-loaded with books. There was a large Persian carpet on the polished floor.

'Your house is very compact,' Alex said glancing round. 'And very comfortable looking. Everything seems to be in such perfect order.'

The fireplace was already set up with kindling wood and a large log.

Beatrice told him to sit down while she took some matches from the shelf above the fireplace and lit the fire. She also lit a candle on the table.

Alec's eyes were fixated on the flames in her fireplace. Beatrice went into the kitchen to prepare coffee while Alec looked at the book shelves. There were many books on the Occult, Reincarnation, Parapsychology, Hypnotism, Mind Control, Astral Travel, Out of Body Experiences. Apart from that there were other books on philosophy, history and literature. Beatrice was obviously a great reader.

'Would you like a glass of port or whisky with your coffee?' Beatrice asked as she returned with two steaming mugs and set them down on a table between the couch and the fireplace.

'Yes, whisky please,' Alex was only too pleased to accept. He sat down at one end of couch and waited until Beatrice came back with two glasses and a bottle of Johnny Walker.

She sat at the other end of the couch and was stiffly distant from Alec. But she never broke eye contact with him. Her scent was -perfume du jour.

She was telling him that he was her Affinity, her Soul-mate. 'We are the same you and I.'

Alec felt that she was inhabiting a twilight world of ghosts and shadows, as a psychic medium dealing with the paranormal.

There was a slight awkward silence between them. But it was as if they were sending psychic signals to one another and he knew they were both thinking the same thing.

She kept up a steady chatter, just small talk really, but he was content just to hear her voice.

Her fingers touched his as she poured a refill into his glass before he could stop her.

They talked some more as they sipped their drinks, he about his work in the insurance company, she told about her late husband Gordon.

'It was his time,' she said, putting the loss of her husband in perspective. 'I can feel his presence most of the time.'

She then went on to say that Alec ought not go on looking back. She remarked on the coincidence that both Gordon and Alec's girlfriend Vicky were both killed in similar car accidents.

'It seems to me the coincidences are piling up around here.' Alec said, after a pause.

'Life is chock-full of odd coincidences. That's because we're living parallel lives.'

'How do you mean?'

'We've both experienced personal tragedies in our lives when we were young due to car accidents. I lost my Gordon thirty-three years ago. He was hit by a stolen car driven by a teenage boy chased by the police on the Upper Heidelberg Road. And you lost your girlfriend Vicki in a similar accident many years later. We both have to live with loss. It's a process we go through. I've been there. So I know you're hurting bad. It hurts, but eventually it hurts less and less and then life goes on.'

'I didn't realise I was in therapy,' Alec said.

Her eyes seemed to bore into his soul. And then it hit him. It was her eyes that resembled Vicky's eyes. But they weren't exactly the same. Vicky's eyes were a light sea-green merging into a grey-blue, whereas Beatrice's eyes were a grey-blue merging into a deep royal blue. It was the ability to change the colour shade that was similar. It was this about Beatrice that reminded him so much of Vicky.

He had never fully recovered from his loss of Vicky, and had suffered periodic bouts of acute depression.

He realised that Beatrice had been where he was now.

Her eyes seemed to see into his soul and she was holding his hand.

Alec was caressing the back of her hand with his thumb as they talked.

'Vicky contacted me again last night. She was enveloped in a beautiful blue aura.'

'Did she say anything?'

Beatrice hesitated and said yes. She asked me to give you a kiss from her.'

Beatrice is obviously embarrassed by this request. Her cheeks were a brilliant pink.

But Alec is unperturbed. A little while later he said, 'I'm still waiting for that kiss.'

Beatrice and Alec looked at each other and neither said anything for what seemed an eternity.

'I'm not sure I can do this,' she said.

'Oh, I'm sure you can.'

Beatrice leaned toward Alec and kissed him timidly on the cheek.

He felt himself move towards her, moved by a force beyond his control.

Alec then grabbed hold of both her shoulders and gave Beatrice a full mouth on mouth kiss, taking a blatant possession of her. He then bent down once more and found her mouth again. Their tongues found each other. Beatrice's eyes were closed and her breath was coming in short little gasps.

He kissed her again. And Beatrice got a flash of déjà vu as if they had done this before, in some other place, in some other time.

Alec found her nipple through her blouse and pinched it, and that seemed to set her off even more.

Beatrice gave a slight moan.

Alec pulled away, saying, 'I'm sorry. I guess I got carried away.'

'It's all right. I guess I'll survive.' He felt so familiar to her, Beatrice wanted more of him.

'I'm afraid I've offended you.'

'Not at all. I'm really quite flattered.'

Beatrice has a feeling of exhilaration knowing that she - a late middle-aged woman, had sexually aroused another human being. It made her feel ... well ... wanted. Something that had been increasingly missing from her personal life. And that the other human being happened to be a very young man.

She knew that she had been out of circulation for a long time. Her loneliness. She had come to terms with herself many years ago.

Yet now she was assessing Alec in ways she knew she shouldn't. She found herself undressing him in her mind. She would have to get hold of herself. And try and stop these thoughts bouncing around in her head. Her skin was flushed, and her eyes were dilated

After a moment's pause while she collected herself, Beatrice said, 'I also spoke to Gordon, this morning.'

'How do you mean?

'Although Gordon's been on the Other Side for many years, we still talk to one another almost every day. Sometimes I have an Out of Body Experience and I see him face to face although I can't touch him. I've told him about you.'

'What did you say?'

'I told him about the red aura that I've seen about you several times since you first came to my meetings.'

'What exactly is an aura?'

'An aura is the flow of psychic energy around your body. Not everybody can see it. Different people have different coloured auras. Yours is generally a dark red. A red aura means you are robust in health, that you are adventurous in most things you do, that you are a 'I'll try anything once' kind of man. In other words you will rush in where angels fear to tread. You're most likely to enter into unconventional relationships with unusual people, including women.'

'What colour is your aura, Beatrice?'

'Pink, of course. People with pink auras have strong psychic abilities and are very sensitive to others. That's why I do spiritual work.'

'And what else did you say to Gordon?'

'I told him about Vicki.'

'And what did he say?'

'He asked me to tell him all about you?'

'And did you?'

'Yes. I said I didn't know that much, except that you were still grieving over Vicky's death.'

Alec found himself breaking up. He was close to tears.

'I've got to go.' He gasped..

'Don't go, Alec.'

Alec was now lost in his own thoughts. Vicky. His girl!

'Alec!' Beatrice repeated, startling him back to attention. His senses came into sharp focus. 'I know what it's like to lose someone. It's important that you move on.'

He looked back at her, a vacant look on his face. His eyes widened in panic.

'I don't know if I can move on.'

'You can. And you will. Just give it some time.'

The sad, helpless look on his face. Hollow cheeks. That haunted expression in his brown eyes. His eyes were transfixed on a spot on the wall.

'The feeling of emptiness. I know it seems like it will never go away, but it will. Give it time.'

Beatrice stared at him to make sure the crisis was over.'

Alec never felt so connected to a woman as he did at that moment.

It was almost eleven thirty when he realised how long they had been talking.

'Well, I've probably taken up enough of your evening. I should probably get going, don't you think?' he said.

'No. Not at all. Please don't rush off.'

'I have to leave.'

'I'm sorry. You have to leave? Alec, are you shy?'

'Oh God!' he stammered. 'This is ...'

'Crazy.' Beatrice said, finishing his sentence.

'I might have been out of line tonight.'

I've really got it bad for her, he thought.

'I've got to go.'

Picking up the last of the whisky, Alec swallowed it all in a single gulp, and felt the burn as it went down his throat.

'I've got to go.' He gasped.

Alec thanked Beatrice for the coffee and whisky.

She was telling him he was very welcome. 'I never thought I'd meet such a kindred spirit.'

'You see, there's another coincidence.'

'You're going to make me blush.'

Outside the rain had eased to a slight drizzle.

As Alec made his way to his car he could still feel her presence in his mind. Her gaze as though sizing him up.

5.

The following Sunday Alec was again driving Beatrice home and her suddenly realised that since he kissed Beatrice the week before he had not thought obsessively about Vicki. And his chronic depression had completely disappeared. He felt such a relief. Vicki was still somewhere in his mind but not at the forefront.

'Gordon says you're in need of sexual healing, Alec,' Beatrice said as they sat in the car outside her house.

'Is there such a thing as sexual healing? Persephone Faye said you must not touch the person during a spiritual healing session.'

'That's true enough as far as spiritual healing goes. But you can't do much sexually without touching someone, even if its only yourself. Sexual healing can't cure you of anything but it can help you to move on.'

'So how does it work?'

'Firstly, there has to be both passion and compassion operating at the same time. Physical passion coupled with a feeling of empathy with the other person.'

'How then do you develop empathy?'

'By discovering an Affinity with the person that eventually developes into an Empathy whereby you can feel the other person's pain as much as they can. Sometimes more than they can. In your case, you're experiencing much psychological pain with the loss of your girl Vicky. With Empathy your pain becomes lodged in my mind or heart or whatever, and I feel your pain as my pain. And thus I develope compassion for you. Don't get me wrong, compassion is not sympathy, a feeling which can become patronising in the sense of 'I feel sorry for you.' Sympathy doesn't really dissolve boundaries between people in the same way that Empathy can and does.'

Alec felt that there was something about her words that resonated deeply within him.

They walked to her front door and Alec followed the lady spiritualist inside.

'Are you sure you want to go through with this, Alec? You're awfully young.'

'You're not going to hold that against me, are

you?' he laughed. 'I'm old enough to know my mind.'

He felt that they were connecting on some intimate primal level.

'Am I being too forward with you?' she asked quietly.

'No, you're not, Beatrice.' He answered softly. Alec was wondering how this woman was having such a big impact on him. He realised that for some strange reason he cared about her.

They made their way to the couch and sat down. 'I'm very self-conscious,' she said. Her eyes betrayed her emotion. Suddenly she did appear uncertain of herself.

'Would you feel better if I turned the light off?''Yes. But leave the candle. I want to be able to see you, Alec.'

Alec turned off the switch near the door. The room was now in semi-darkness. He sat down on the couch again but closer to Beatrice this time and took her hand. His other hand touched her back and he gently rubbed her shoulder.

He felt her move away from him for a moment, then felt her relax back against him. He gently kissed her face, cheek, and neck then slowly their lips met.

He let his hand wander. He felt her body stiffen beside him.

'Am I going too fast?' he asked.

'No,' she cried, but continued to resist.

'We don't have to ...'

'I ... I want to,' she said. It's just that ... well ... I'm too old.'

She felt that a part of her had become separate from herself and was floating above them and was watching appalled at herself.

Alec again turned her face to his and kissed her full on the mouth. She was disturbed by the raw power of her attraction to him.

Beatrice was breathless when he broke the kiss and her heart beat fast. 'I have been longing for you to do that,' she said.

'I've been longing to do it.'

Alec looked at Beatrice and she seemed to have a beautiful pink glow about her face. It wasn't until some time later that he realised he was seeing her aura.

'Do you enjoy older women, Alec? I'm old enough to be your mother.'

'Doesn't mean I can't find you attractive, though.' He said. 'Age is just a number. I can forget it if you can.'

'I know there's a chemistry between us.'

He was aware she was much older than him, but he didn't care, and she hadn't seemed to care either.

Beatrice hadn't been able to stop thinking about Alec. And she couldn't escape the feeling of déjà vu she had when she was with him.

He has a really good vibe about him, she thought. And that red aura! She was pressing her body up against his.

She decided she would savour the moment and see the beauty of his body as he slipped his T-shirt off. She touched his taut shoulder muscles and explored his muscular body with her hands.

She leaned closer so that their faces were only inches apart. He could feel her breath on him.

That he would not want her once he had seen her without her clothes, she feared. She hated being old. She felt the heat of his gaze.

'Please don't look at me.'

He took her hands away from her face.

That anyone so much older would have a whole different set of life experiences, he knew. And that was part of her fascination.

He doesn't seem to notice me being old, she thought to herself. Actually, it seems to turn him on. She couldn't see why. Her whole body was on fire. Her eyes flashed darkly for a moment. She was completely off balance, mentally and emotionally. She wanted to lose control of herself.

His mouth was colliding squarely with hers and their tongues were exploring each others' mouths. They sat there together, softly breathing, like a single entity.

She paused, wanting to be in this moment for ever. 'Would you be embarrassed Alec to be seen publically with me?'

'No. Why should I be? You're still a very attractive woman.'

She was feeling silly for feeling the way she was feeling.

'Why are you looking at me like that?' she asked.

'I like looking at you,' he told her.

He looked right into her in a way that completely unsettled her.

'I think you're staring at my breasts, I'm flattered.'

He was stroking her breasts through her blouse. She rested her hand on his thigh.

He raised his arm so that it lay round her shoulders. Beatrice was seeing all things in a haze of red dust. Or was it lust? She looked back at him, a vacant look on her face. Then her cerulean blue eyes sparkled She was so caught up in the moment that it felt as natural as breathing.

Beatrice realised that she must submit to her own desires. She now felt her real need demanding attention. A need that had been denied too long rose in the neglected woman and she wanted this man. Her body throbbed with desire. She felt she becoming was an inferno of passion and lust.

Alec was in awe of her aura, the pinkness intensifying all around her. In the candelight he focused on her face and could make out her dark rose pink lipstick, her perfectly arched eyebrows and her rosy pink skin. Her eyes reflected the candle flames.

'As I said I'd been talking with Gordon again,' Beatrice was saying. 'He told me I was becoming sexually dead.'