There Must Be A Mistake Ch. 23

"Nobody ever called that man dumb."

William separated himself from James Pierce. When he was 15 feet away, he called to him.

Jim turned, "Yes William?"

He was looking at three men pointing automatic weapons in his direction.

"You screwed me for the last time Jim. You've lost my money; you've lost my company; now you've lost my ability to move around my own country. Three strikes and you're out. Goodbye Jim."

It's a useless gesture trying to protect your face against Kalashnikov rifles, but I guess if you can't see the bullets tearing into your body it might help. James Pierce was dead before his body hit the ground.

***************

Lucius received a phone call. "Hello Colonel, everyone here is running for cover just in case there are records at Pierce's mansion. I think you can scratch the visitors who were supposed to come your way."

"That's great news Paul. Why don't you hang around for a few days? Act anxious, but not afraid. If they question you just tell them you were going to act as guards for some secret operation out of Advanced Algorithms. You didn't know when it was supposed to happen, or where, but you were all on alert because it was supposed to happen soon. They can't do anything to you for being on the payroll."

"Yes sir, any other instructions?"

"How is your Spanish?"

"Living down here this long, I speak it like a native."

"Get a lot of sun Paul; you may be going down to Peru."

"Colonel, I'm beginning to think you don't like me."

"Whatever gave you that idea Sergeant?"

"Would you like the long answer or the short answer?"

"It wouldn't matter to me Paul; I'm going to tell you you're wrong either way."

"That's about what I thought sir. I'll call you back at the end of the week."

"There is one more thing Paul."

"What's that sir?"

"Go to a firing range, a really long firing range; a mile or a mile and an eighth should do it. Get good at it; get really good at it, and also keep your legs in running shape. It may just save your life."

"Am I going to be doing this alone sir?"

"Have I ever sent you on a mission alone Paul?"

"No sir, but normally you are the point man; and I'm backing you up."

"You've been promoted Paul. You are the point man, and the member of your team who will be going with you will be taking your place as the backup. I am training him now."

"That's great Colonel that means this mission is 30 years away. That's how many years it took you to get me this good."

"This is the information age Paul. I've changed my methods."

"Is he still living sir. I remember the old way and how you trained me."

"That's why the new way is better. We only simulate the pain. I'll talk to you at the end of the week Paul. Shoot straight, and shoot a lot."

"I'm going to be thinking about that tree on Vancouver Island sir."

"Don't do it Paul, it will only depress you."

"Goodbye Colonel, have a good one."

******************

"Where are you sending him now Lucius?"

"It's summer in South America William. I hear Machu Picchu is a big tourist attraction at this time of year."

"He's going to Machu Picchu to see the ancient ruins, like I'm going to Las Vegas to gamble."

"Paul is excellent at ruining people's days."

"Since this just happened yesterday, who have you been training for months to do this?"

"Everyone, of course, but now there's only one other requirement I have to build in. The person has to speak fluent Spanish. Would you like to see volunteers line up at your door within 10 minutes?"

"Not even I think as evilly as you do. I can't wait to hear this."

"You are going to love it William, trust me."

"All agents, this is Colonel Canyon. Continue with your jobs and listen up. We have a job opening that requires the following: one single male or female, available for long distance travel within the following week. Your employment here continues while you are away. While you are away, your salary will be supplemented on a basis you will be told privately later. This job is hazardous to the extreme. You will be number two to an extremely knowledgeable point man. I repeat man. The destination is Peru, and you all know who flew down there recently. Part of your mission is to come back here alive; the other part is to make sure he doesn't. You must be able to run at altitudes of 5000 feet for miles, without getting tired. Your life will depend on it. There is one other requirement. Whoever gets to Mister Zabo's office first is not guaranteed to get the job. He or she will get $10,000 for showing enthusiasm, and tenacity for wanting to get this job. You guards standing in the building laughing, because you have a 14-minute advantage from the gate to the front door will step outside. A secretary will say go at the exact second I say go, and you will start running around the building until your 14 minutes is up. One second early and you're disqualified.

Here is the final qualification, and when I'm finished I will say go. The agent that wants this job must speak fluent, that means like a native, Spanish."

"GO!"

Initially, it looked like a mob scene. Everyone took off towards the gate. After a few hundred yards, the jokesters started peeling off and the serious contenders for the job moved on towards the road that would lead them from the NEST, to the main building.

Lucius got on the loudspeakers again. If you people jogging around the building think you're fooling anyone, you're not. My great grandmother could run faster than you are. I'll be down there taking names momentarily.

Pouring rocket fuel on their asses and having a lighted match in his hand wouldn't have made his agents move any faster than the threat by Colonel Canyon. By the time he stepped out the front door the agents were running at flank speed.

Barbara said, "I'm not sure if it's what you said or how you said it Colonel, but it worked."

"Do you mean they were slacking off before?"

"You didn't check the screens Colonel?"

"No, I was leaving Mister Zabo's office, and I always like to give my troops a little encouragement."

"Well Colonel, it worked, here they come again."

"I'm going to yell at you, so don't take any offense. It's only an act."

"Go ahead Colonel; I don't listen to my husband when he yells either."

"You haven't been keeping a log on how many hours these men spend in the gym? Don't you know how many hours each man spends lifting weights? You don't know how many times they do leg presses. Our lives depend on the fitness levels of these people. You are fired. Get your things and get out of this building."

As the men turned the corner of the building, Lucius asked, "Did they turned the heads Barbara?"

"Barbara, Barbara, Barbara are you alright?"

Sniffling between breaths, Barbara replied, "Colonel, I need this job."

"Barbara I told you I was going to yell at you, don't you remember?"

"Yes, but you didn't say you were going to fire me."

Lucius shook his head, and thought, "Oh God."

He put his arms around her, and patted her on the back. "Barbara, it was all an act. I told you that. I wanted them to feel bad, not you. You are doing an excellent job. I would never fire you. You are part of our administrative team. We wouldn't know where to go without you working beside us. We just lost Margaret; everything would stop if we lost you. All the women here are the backbone of this project. If you don't think so, ask Mister Valentino if he could run his office without them. I'll tell you something you don't know. You make more money than the three of us do; Mister Valentino, Mister Zabo, or myself."

"You're lying. You are the top three executives of the company and you expect me to believe we make more money than you do?"

"We have a few minutes let's go to your office."

"Okay now what do you want to do?"

"Call Mister Valentino's office, and tell his secretary I would like to speak to him. Then you can put it on speaker."

"What do you want Lucius I'm busy."

"Is Patti still here?"

"Yes she is."

"Is she on your desk or under it?"

"That's none of your concern; what do you want Lucius?"

"I want you to triple my salary."

"Done, now leave me alone."

"What does that bring my salary to?"

"The same thing it was before you asshole, zero. If you multiply 0×0 for 1 million times you still come up with zero you idiot."

"Thank you Stephano, you may continue pleasing your wife now."

"Do you believe me now Barbara?"

"Why, you work seven days a week, more hours than anyone else here, and you don't get anything in return?"

"William Zabo is my best and most valued friend. I have known and worked for him in different capacities for almost 30 years. I found out someone was trying to kill him and his son, Patrick. I called him, and warned him about the threats. He said he would take the appropriate action. I told him no, I would.

If I were to live, he were to die, and I knew I could have done something to stop it, I would put a gun into my mouth and blow my brains out. That's how good William Zabo has been to me."

They heard a rumble by the front door. Then they heard glass shatter. A fight broke out, and a man groaned.

He yelled, "Bitch," as he tried to regain his feet and strength and charged after the female, who was now in the lead.

Lucius picked up his cell phone.

"Yes."

Lucius yelled, "STAMPEDE coming your way, use extreme caution."

"Get down here you asshole."

"I'm sorry sir, I'm out to lunch."

"That's the first time I've heard you tell the truth in a long time."

Cynthia, William's secretary, took the precaution of sitting on her desk, with her knees against her chest, and her back against the wall. It was a little airy under her skirt, but she could live with that for the time being.

The first person into William's office was a female, followed by a hand that had a strong hold on her hair. Unfortunately, the race was over.

"I'm going to kill you Lucille. You bit my pointer."

"How lucky can a girl get on her first try?"

"It might be your first try on me, but it seems that mouth knew exactly where to go."

"It has travel that road before, and also the road less traveled, and both are sweet."

William said, "I take it you're name is Lucille, but we have not been formally introduced. I am William Zabo."

"Yes sir, I know. My name is Lucille Ball. I'm not joking sir. My name is Lucille Ball. My parents were big fans of the real Lucille, and they branded me with that name."

"Your red hair comes genetically, it's easy to tell."

"Yes Mister Zabo, I cannot tell you how many beauticians compliment me on whoever colored my hair before them. They're so disappointed to find out that is my own."

"Were both your parents Hispanic?"

"Yes sir."

"What about you young man? Still chasing women around hallways trying to pull their hair?"

"I wasn't trying sir, I had it. However, she turned into your office, so I did not pull on it. She won; she cheated, but she won."

"You are correct. All that counted today was winning. There were no other rules being applied. You could have cut her head off and been within the rules, so you lost. Isn't that right?"

"Yes sir you are correct."

"You must not have wanted the job very badly."

"I want this job very badly sir. However, you have to look at the competition and watch what your own parameters are. We were told to get from point A to point B as quickly as possible. We have to be able to run at high altitudes for long periods of time without getting tired. We are going to be number two to a very experienced shooter, who is going to attempt to take out the former vice president of the United States, who is now a guest of the president of Peru. This puts it outside of any legal United States sanction. However, if we are able to do this it makes everything here for our spacecraft a cakewalk, because we no longer have to worry about what that idiot is thinking. We also have to speak Spanish, which will help us blend in to the community depending on the color of our skin, and how well we speak the language. How well did I do sir?"

"You did very well, but you still didn't tell me your name."

"I apologize for that Mister Zabo. My name is Rory Calhoun."

"How did Miss Ball beat you Mister Calhoun?"

"I was purposely running behind her right shoulder for about half a mile, giving her something to think about as we were approaching the building. We were about 20 feet from it, when she purposely slowed to trip me. I pulled her down with me just to get even with her. I was starting to get up when she bit my pointer. I screamed, she got up, laughed, and began running. I got up a second later and chased her but I was not quick enough to get here before she did."

"She bit you on your pointer?"

"Yes sir, my penis, my dick."

"Oh well, we did say there were no rules. Miss Ball, take this to Mister Valentino and pick up your checkup for $10,000, and report to the Colonel tomorrow morning. You are no longer on your regular rotation; you belong to him. May God have mercy on your body, and your soul."

"Mister Calhoun, take this to Mister Valentino and pick up your checkup for $9999.99, and report to the Colonel tomorrow morning. You are no longer on your regular rotation you belong to him. May God have mercy on your body and your soul."

"William, why are you scaring them that way? I am a really nice person when you get to know me."

"I've known you for 30 years, that's why I warned them about you."

"They need plenty of rest tonight, and they won't get it because of you. Do you see how inconsiderate you were?"

"Maybe we should give them the rest of the day off?"

"Are you trying to ruin my entire day?"

"Get lost you two, pick up your winnings, finish your shift, and come to work tomorrow as you are now, but bring gym clothing with you."

"Thank you Colonel, we will see you tomorrow morning."

***************

115. The Return

It was a gray, blustery Monday morning, but you could not prove it by me. I had a spring in my step and a song in my heart. I had a smile on my face that had everyone in the house laughing.

"Dad, you're not going to get laid, you going to work."

"Like you son, I got laid last night, and I'm looking forward to going back to work for the first time in nearly 9 months. My brain is on overload with all the things it wants to get out of it, and all the things it wants to do, I hope it remembers it all."

My soon to be 'fairy daughter-in-law', handed me a briefcase with my initials on it. It contained my voice recorder, and discs.

Zoie kissed me. "Dad, your brains are in here, just in case the one above your shoulders goes haywire, while you're at work."

I couldn't control my emotional outburst, in return for remembering what I had totally forgotten. For months prior to getting my laptop computer, I dictated everything I could think of onto these magical discs, and had forgotten about them. Now I treasured each hour I spent talking into that infernal device, because I had a permanent record of what had gone through my mind, while I was recuperating.

I grabbed Zoie and kissed her. Then not knowing about her weakness, I began tickling her. She screamed bloody-murder that she was going to kill Gordon for giving out her secret, as she lie on the floor recuperating from my attack on her ribs.

My son helped her up and swore he had not mentioned it to anyone, especially not me. I corroborated his story, and probably saved his life that morning.

Gordon left for work at 6:50 with Monty and Cindy at his side, and a chase car following along behind them. I wanted to leave, but Janice sat there eating her breakfast, like a snail in a long distance race. I had no chance of leaving before 7:30 AM as planned.

I watched her take the smallest portion of scrambled eggs on her fork, put it in her mouth and chew it 32 times before swallowing.

I couldn't take it any longer. I got up from the table, walked back to my bedroom, and lay down on my bed. I prayed to my God to give me enough strength not to kill her, before we left for work. Then I did the unthinkable; I closed my eyes, and fell asleep.

You see, God does have the weirdest sense of humor.

Jennifer shook me, and when my eyes opened, she asked if I was feeling all right.

I told her I was fine. I'm just waiting for Janice to finish her breakfast.

Jen told me it was time to leave.

Instead, I pulled her down on top of me, and she screamed.

"Mrs. Luck, I just wanted to say thank you for putting up with me through all this impossible time. I know I have not been the best patient, the best husband, or the best partner. Now that I'm going back to work, I will also be absent from your life a great deal of the time. Have I ever told you how lucky I am to have you in my life?"

"Mister Luck, you are a pain in the ass. However, I love your ass. I love everything above it, below it. I also love what is in front of it. Now let me up, and go to work. I want to see you happy again, and you haven't been happy since the day you found out you were ill."

"How can a woman be so wrong so often? I was happy when I was in the hospital. I told you to go into the bathroom and remove your bra and panties. After that day, I had a lot of fun with you. My mind was bored, but my libido was very happy."

"If you don't let me out of this bed soon, your libido is going to be very happy again, but your brain is going to be very angry at it."

Holden walked into the room, "Whoops, I'm sorry," and walked back out.

We heard him say, "We have time, they are at it again."

Jennifer yelled, "We are not, we are just talking." She jumped off me, grabbed my hand, and pulled me into a sitting position.

"If you are available, and have enough energy left in your body tonight, we can continue that discussion Doctor."

"If you are going to be on top Mrs. Luck, I won't need much energy. I'll just nurse on those wonderful breasts of yours."

"Will you at least set the table for dinner?"

"I thought Zoie did that?"

"Doctor Luck, go to work before I break your legs."

"Your wish is my command Mrs. Luck. If you happen to be in the area around 1 PM, I'll take you to lunch in the cafeteria."

"My husband the big spender. Go to work, now."

As much as I hated leaving my beautiful wife, I wanted to get back to my real life. My Science, I missed it so much.

We left a little late, but I didn't know what the hurry was for us to get there on time. I found out as soon as we turned into the rear parking lot. The entire staff was there waiting for me. William was standing at the front as I exited the car, and everyone began applauding.

He grabbed me. "Welcome back Even if you break one of your nurse's rules, I'll kill you."

"It's good to be back William. If I break any of their rules, you won't have a chance to kill me. They will have done it already. You are the best friend any man could ever hope to have. You have saved my project, and I am forever in your debt."

"Debt, Even my accountants are begging me to give away more money, which I have already started doing at an alarming rate. They don't know what to do with all the money that's coming in from the patents this project has created. Patti has the same problem. She's thinking of buying Rhode Island. I told her not to do it, because of global warming.

There is a rumor going around that someone's wife will be staying on Earth after he leaves on a trip to outer space to take care of her youngest son, because he does not want to make the trip with us. Of course, we don't believe this rumor for one second. However, just in case it turns out to be true, we have put every penny of this man's investment into the project back into his account in her name. She will be able to take care of this young child, and bring his dreams to fruition someday. I'll make sure William Junior becomes an investor in those projects as part of my Will."