by WilliamShakespear 10/17/13
Many years ago, when my children were young, a friend and I were talking about the women that dropped their children off at school and how approachable they were. After all we had something in common; our kids probably sat next to each other in class. As the drinks flowed during the conversation, the opportunities this presented us, in our fantasies of course, became ruder and more explicit. A poor bored lonely house wife / mum was ripe for smooth talking and who knows where that would lead to. Of course, this was a highly risky "pick up" as all the clichés such as "don't shit on your own doorstep" and so on give testimony too. We often referred back to this conversation over the years, where the women of our fantasies started to become known as Yummy Mummies or MILF's.
Now this was and is probably still true, but times move on and eventually children take themselves to school and the opportunities diminish. However, in a more mature environment, agewise, I have found another opportunity that arises in opening conversations with women, and I can affirm that it works even better than the school gate flirt. That is the women that walk their dogs.
Having taken voluntary redundancy, I became the house husband and part of my role was walking the dog. As anyone will testify that has a dog, if you do the same walk over a period of time you get to meet the same people and engage in conversation even if it's only "hello."
This is how I got to meet Tanya.
I started to get into a routine walking the dog; same time and route most days. One day, a particularly foul day with strong winds and rain, I approached a gate with my dog at the same time as a lady walking towards me with her Labrador.
"Hello," I said opening the gate for her, "ladies first."
"Thanks," she replied. "Terrible day, only professional dog walkers out today," she added with a smile.
"Oh yes, anyone with any sense would be tucked up indoors sitting in front of the fire with a good book and a cup of coffee!"
With that she walked off in one direction and I went in the opposite direction.
Over the next couple of weeks I met her about every other day, exchanging no more than a polite nod, a smile and "hello." I had started to take notice of her; noticed her nice trim figure, (when it wasn't hidden in a thick coat) her stunning blue eyes and shoulder length dark blonde hair.
I didn't see her for the next two weeks and wondered where she was. Had she moved? Was she walking the dog at a different time? Was I mad, why was I caring?
Then, on another foul day, I saw her approaching me; dressed for the weather in a long wax jacket and hat, green boots and looking every inch the experienced dog walker. Come hail or shine, the dog would be walked.
"Hello," I said as we were within a yard of each other.
"Hi, she said, "Another of the professional only days," she laughed.
"Yea, you bet."
"I have just come back from two weeks in sunny Florida," she said looking up at me. "This is a real wake up call. We only got back yesterday. Picked the dog up from the kennels last night."
"God yes, some difference in weather. Did you have a good time?"
"It was Ok. Kids just wanted to do theme parks; husband didn't want to do anything!"
"Oh, that's a shame."
"Yes, but life continues. See you!"
And with that she was off.
The next day, we met again at the gate we met on our first meeting.
"Hello, how's the jet lag?" I asked.
She smiled, "its fine thanks, thankfully something I don't suffer from!"
"That's good, it absolutely kills me," I answered. "Especially as I get older."
"Oh, you poor old man," she said smiling at me.
"I'm Tanya by the way," she said raising her hand to invite me to shake it.
"William, or Will to my friends."
"Oh God!" I exclaimed as I looked down and saw our respective dogs playing and for all intense and purposes my female dog giving hers a good licking around his dick. "They always embarrass you don't they?"
"Yes," she laughed. "But I suppose it's only nature!"
I pulled my dog away, "Come here!" I said.
"Oh, he was probably enjoying that," Tanya smiled.
"Yes, he probably was, but let's not give him too much of a good thing!"
"Come on Ben," she said, "that nasty man wants to stop your fun; maybe tomorrow if we meet him he may let you have some more fun!"
"See you Will,"
And off she walked, smiling as she went.
I didn't see Tanya the next day, but I did see her the following day and it was just a quick "Hi Will," "Hello Tanya." She gave the impression she didn't want to stop and chat and had something on her mind.
The next day, she was very willing to stop and chat. We stood talking for a good 5 minutes chatting about where we lived, our dogs and lots of nothingness.
"Do you know any other walks around here?" Tanya asked. "I get bored with this one."
"I do but it involves a short car drive to get there."
"That's Ok, I don't mind. Would you show me?"
I hesitated for a second.
"Or just tell me how to get there."
"No, it's OK, we could do it together, and it would be nice to do a different walk."
"Oh, yes definitely!" she replied smiling at me.
"What about tomorrow?" I asked.
"Sorry, can't do tomorrow, my bloody husband is working from home....and...well it would easier if I didn't have to explain. I know it's just a dog walk, don't get the wrong idea Will, but you know..."
"Yes," I nodded, trying to read any signals or mixed messages Tanya was giving me.
"But the day after would be great!"
"Then let's do it!"
"The dog walk?" she smiled suggestively.
She was definitely teasing me. "Oh, Ok then," I sighed.
We agreed to meet at the car park at 10.00 and we would drive to the other walk I had suggested.
The walk was a 30 minute drive away and was in secluded woods. We drove to the woods and the conversation flowed, as it did throughout the walk.
As we put the dogs in the boot of my 4x4 Tanya looked at my dog, and said; "now you behave yourself in the back here. Don't want my old boy to have too much fun!"
I laughed; "Now it's your turn to stop his fun!"
Before I knew it, I was dropping her and her dog off at the car park.
"Thanks Will, that was great. Such a nice change and such fun. You really are great company, and our dogs seem to enjoy each other too."
"My pleasure Tanya, I enjoyed it too. We should do it again sometime."
"Oh yes please, that would be great."
And then I screwed up. I leant forward to try and give her a chaste kiss on the cheek.
She pulled away and looked at me with horror.
"No Will. No."
"Sorry," I mumbled.
"That's Ok, but we are both married Will. Maybe this walk wasn't a good idea?"
"Sorry Tanya, I don't know what came over me. Please accept my apologies. It won't happen again."
"No it won't Will. Anyway I best be off. Thanks again."
She turned and quickly put her dog in her car and drove off.
I admonished myself for my misreading of the signals and went home.
I didn't see here for a number of days, but yet again, when I did it, was a wet and windy autumnal day.
"Hi Tanya, the professionals meet again!" I said with a forced smile.
Tanya looked at me, "Yes, and Will, I owe you an apology."
"I over reacted the other day. It wasn't as if you were trying to snog me!" she smiled
"No, but I was wrong. So I am still sorry."
"Ok, we are both sorry!" she laughed. "Now can we resume where we left off?"
"Being friends that walk dogs?" I asked.
"Ok, good with me," I said feeling much better about myself.
We quickly arranged to do another dog walk in the woods in a couple of days' time, meeting as before in the car park and driving to the woods.
The conversation was a little bit more stilted this time, Tanya seemingly deep in thought.
As we walked through the woods the clouds darkened and it was clear we would not complete the walk before heavens opened and we were going to get very wet! Thankfully we had dressed for the occasion, and as expected the rain soon started. It was so heavy we decided to take refuge within the depths of the wood hoping the worst of the weather would pass.
We sat down on a trunk and looked as our dogs ran around oblivious to the weather.
Our silence was broken by Tanya: "Will, why did you try and kiss me?"
"Well," I hesitated. "I so enjoyed your company on the walk, and thought we had gone beyond a handshake and thought a platonic kiss would be Ok."
After a while Tanya said. "I see. It's just that I was a bit shocked. I kiss my dad like that, I kiss my brother like that, but I don't think I have ever kissed another man like that for years."
"I see," was all I could think of saying.
"You must have been hurt?"
"I was a bit if I'm honest," I replied quietly.
"No stop it Tanya, we have done all that."
"But I am, I didn't want to hurt your feelings."
"Well that's in the past, so let's forget it. Ok?"
"Ok!" she said smiling at me. "And thanks!"
"Liking me enough to want to kiss me. Not many people like me enough to want to kiss me. My kids just want me to cook and clean for them, my husband, well I don't know what he wants from me anymore. Probably the same. Cook for him, keep the house clean and be a trophy wife. Oh shit! Sorry Will, I am having a bad day."
"That's Ok, anything I can do?" I asked.
"No, but thanks. Meeting you for the dog walk has become the highlight of my day, and I thought I had blown it by my stupid reaction to an innocent gesture," Tanya continued.
She then started to gently cry. "I am sorry," she said trying to stop crying.
Impulsively I moved nearer her and put an arm around her and pulled her towards me. There was no resistance and she buried her head in my shoulder as she continued to sob. I looked at our dogs playing as she sat crying, almost uncontrollably now, with my arm around her, in the depths of a rain lashed wood. What a weird set of circumstances.
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