Walls

I had no idea what David was up to, but even to me in my screwed up psychological state it was plainly obvious that I had to do something about it immediately. He clearly wanted to take Liz away from me, and even though I wasn't sure if I still wanted her, I didn't want him to succeed. I was also very scared. If I confronted her and threatened divorce she now had a very real, and seemingly attractive, alternative. I clearly realized that the only thing stopping me from getting very violent when I first found out about her affair was having the time available to dwell on the situation, and to think it through. That extra time had helped me to realise that I was using double standards, and it had also given me chance to find out a bit more information about my rival, for what it was worth. Anyway, I decided that I had to give Liz the same opportunity. I had to stop her affair immediately, but I also had to give her plenty of time to think before she faced me. So I went away for the weekend without telling her. I was tempted to ring her at work and say I had been called away, but I was too worried that she would then see that as an opportunity to bring her toy boy back again before she got my message.

I hid the camera and the files very well, she would have the whole weekend to look for them and I didn't want her finding them. Then I made a short film using my webcam. Looking straight at the camera, and trying to remain calm, I said,

"Liz, there is no easy way to say this, so I will just spit it out. I know about your affair with David, and I have video evidence of it, so don't bother trying to deny it. Before I throw the whole guilt trip on you I have to admit that I had an affair years ago with Jenny, the neighbor who I rescued from a flat tyre. I don't know if you suspected or knew about that, but I can't play high and mighty with the current situation because of my own history of infidelity. I am giving you until Sunday afternoon to decide how you want to deal with this situation. I want to talk about where we are, and if we want to stay together, but I cannot do this if your affair continues. It is killing me to know you are with another man. Please think about the current situation, and what you want for the future. I will come home early on Sunday afternoon, and when I do we both need to be able to say what we want, and we can decide then what happens. I had to give you enough time to think this out fully, that was the only thing that stopped me from behaving irrationally when I found out. See you on Sunday."

I left my mobile phone sitting on my bedside table and I got in the Brougham and drove east, destination anywhere but here. I had an awful weekend. Friday night I stayed in a crappy motel in Morwell, Saturday night I stayed in a slightly better motel in Inverloch, and finally on Sunday morning I headed home.

But was it still home?

The first sign I saw when I got home was that Liz's car was still in the garage. That was a good. At least she hadn't decided to just up and leave me without even saying goodbye. I let myself in and she was standing in hall, looking at me. I wanted to smile, but I couldn't, and she seemed to have the same problem. Silently we stared at each other for way too long and then Liz just nodded and turned. I followed her to the dining room and we sat at the table, facing each other. Adversarial was the first word that sprang to mind, but I didn't let it out.

"How did you find out?" she finally asked.

"Does it matter?" I replied.

"Yes." It seemed to be important to her, so I told her.

"I was testing an in car camera for taxis," I explained, "and I left it running in the main spare bedroom to see how long the battery would last. When I looked at it I found you..." my voice trailed off and I took a deep breath. I had to remain calm.

"Were you trying to trap me?" she asked. She sounded angry.

"No," I replied, "I had no suspicion that there was anything to trap you doing. I had no idea."

She seemed to think for a while, and then nodded.

"Do you want to leave me for him?" I asked.

"No," she replied firmly, and I breathed a sigh of relief, but then I thought again.

"Do you want to leave me?" I asked. She shrugged in a very non-committal way, and then looked at me.

"What did she mean to you?" she asked. I knew the conversation would have to turn there.

"It was, um, fun," I said, trying to be honest, "it didn't mean anything." She nodded.

"Me too," she said. "Do you want to leave me?" I shrugged. I didn't really know.

"We can see how we go," I said, "but I have to know it's over between you two." She frowned.

"I don't know..." she muttered.

"It's my only non-negotiable," I said firmly.

Liz got up, and went to the kitchen. She returned a couple of minutes later with two beers, and handed me one. I nodded my thanks, opened my beer, and waited for her to talk.

"You want this... us... to work," she eventually said. "Otherwise you wouldn't have done it this way."

"To be honest I don't know," I replied candidly. "I am angry, I am disappointed and I don't know if the trust can be rebuilt."

"I am the same," she said, and I nodded. I had given her the ammunition, there was no reason why she shouldn't use it.

"So what you are saying is you want me to end my affair just in case you get around to forgiving me and decide you want me back," she said. She didn't raise her voice, but then again she didn't need to.

"No," I responded, "I am saying that I can't make any rational decisions about anything while I know you and he are..." She nodded, I didn't need to say it out loud.

"That's very one sided," she observed.

"One sided would have been me not admitting my history," I pointed out, and she nodded again.

We each had a drink and let the silence surround us for a while.

"It was never supposed to happen," she said quietly. "I met him in this bar we go to after work for a drink, and he talked to me when the last two of my workmates who were left headed off while I still had half a glass of wine. He was, well... fun. Attentive. It was exciting." I nodded and let her think for a moment.

"He bought me a couple of wines, and I got a bit tipsy I suppose. He was very gentlemanly at first, but soon he was touching my arm when he spoke to me, and it felt good. He made me feel pretty."

I nodded, I hadn't gone out of my way to do that for literally years.

"Eventually I said I had to get my train home, and he asked me where I live. When I told him he offered me a lift, and after another wine I accepted. When we got home he insisted on coming in to make sure I was OK, and as soon as door closed behind us he kissed me. I tried to push him away, but he said he had wanted to do that all evening." She was whispering now, with her head down looking at the table.

"After that it just escalated," she said, "I was a bit drunk and he had made me a lot horny, so we went to the bedroom and..." she stopped talking.

"I know the rest," I said. I was trying to sound calm, but my fists were clenched. He had gone all out to seduce her.

"It has happened twice now," Liz said, looking up at me, "and the second time he was suddenly all possessive and wanting me to leave you." I nodded.

"Is that what you want?" I asked.

"I don't know," she whispered, "I thought you had stopped loving me, but now you have been so... fair I suppose. I don't know what to think." She was crying now.

I wanted to walk around and hug her, to tell her that I loved her and that I wanted her to stay, but I couldn't. Every time I had closed my eyes for the last week I had seen those images. I don't think that just knowing that your wife is cheating would be anywhere near as bad as seeing the video evidence. I was angry with the concept, but I was haunted by the proof.

"I'll get us something to eat," I said, "we both need to get our thoughts together."

We had some biscuits and cheese, along with a glass of wine, and while we ate we had a very stilted and desultory conversation about work, and weather, and anything other than the elephant that was in the room. Our relationship.

"I will break it off with him," Liz finally said, "even if you and I aren't right for each other anymore, somehow he feels wrong." I breathed a silent sigh of relief.

"Thank you," I said. I looked at her.

"Can you not tell him that your husband knows about it?" I asked.

"Why?"

"Something feels wrong," I said, "sort of like you were targeted." She nodded.

"I feel that too. OK, I will just say that my conscience won't let me do it again."

"Thanks."

"So, where do we go from here?" she asked.

It was a good question. We continued to sleep in the same bed, but still neither of us initiated sex. We tried to act like nothing had happened, but we both knew it had. I knew my wall was still there, and it seemed to me that Liz had made one too. Liz did what she had promised, and she rang David and told him it was over. He begged her to reconsider, and told her he was deeply in love with her. That rang alarm bells with both of us. There was something strange going on there. Liz didn't go to her after work drinks that week, and on Friday one of her workmates told her that some 'young hunk' had been asking after her. I stayed at home that night, but if David came past he never came up to the house.

We seemed to be treading water, just barely staying afloat, but deep down we were not yet ready to give up. I didn't know it at the time, but Liz went to her doctor and got herself tested for STD's. We somehow got through a week and a half of limbo before the next weird thing happened.

It was on the Wednesday evening, almost two weeks after the second time Liz cheated on me. I had dropped into my local pub for the 'pot and parma' special, which I do two or three times a month. To be honest I just wanted some time away from the toxic environment at home. I was sitting at my table, watching a football game on the sports channel, when a girl approached me. She would have been early twenties I suppose; it is quite hard to tell these days. She was very pretty, slim build, medium height with long straight blonde hair and striking blue eyes. She was wearing a very little black dress that would have been more suited to a nightclub than a local pub. She walked up to me and looked a bit confused.

"Are you Barry? Barry Thomas?" she asked hesitantly.

"No," I replied with a friendly smile.

"Really? Wow, you look just him..." She hesitated.

"You're not pulling my leg are you?" she asked.

"No," I replied, thinking that there was plenty of things I would like to do with her that involved those legs. They were epic.

"Um... can I sit with you for a minute?" she asked, and the little alarm bells started ringing. Why would a gorgeous thing like her suddenly want to sit with me?

"Sure," I replied, "but I'm not staying here long." She smiled brightly and sat down.

"You look so much like Barry," she said, "and he was soooooo sexy." The alarm bells were almost deafening.

"Really?" I asked, deciding to play up to her flirting and see what would happen next. I stared for a while at her quite ample and well displayed chest, and when I looked up she was grinning. It was too obvious.

"Oh yes," she said in a husky voice, "I just love a real man, one with experience."

"Uh huh," I said, "can I get you a drink?"

I bought her a drink, and for the next half an hour I played up to her advances. Within five minutes she was holding onto my hand and staring into my eyes as she talked. It wasn't hard for me to look interested, but I knew there had to be a catch. When we finished our drinks she looked at me, actually fluttering her eyelids.

"Fitzy, do you want to go somewhere private?" she asked.

"Larissa I couldn't think of anything better, but I just can't tonight. I have to go," I replied.

"Awww, really?" she asked, with pleading puppy dog eyes.

"Yeah... but..."

"But what?" she asked eagerly.

"I might be able to come back in about forty minutes," I suggested.

"Oh goody," she said.

"Give me your number and I'll let you know if there is a problem," I said.

She gave me a mobile number and promised to be waiting when I came back. Now some people may have fallen for this, and one of them might even have been me if my own wife hadn't been through this whole exact process just a couple of weeks earlier. There was something really strange going on, and I needed to know more. I drove out of the car park and headed in the direction of home, but I pulled over as soon as I was out of sight. I waited there for twenty minutes and then drove back into the pub carpark, but I parked in the shadows well away from most of the other cars. Once I had been gone for half an hour I rang Larissa and sadly told her I just couldn't make it that night, but I could meet her at the pub again on the next Wednesday night if she wanted. She reluctantly agreed.

I only had to wait for five minutes before she came out of the pub and went to her car, which was small and black. She drove out, and once she had exited I followed her out, keeping quite a way behind her. The Fitzy amateur spy persona was back. I followed her all the way to Doncaster East, and drove slowly past as she parked her Volkswagen in the garage next to David's Lexus. It seemed to me that all of those alarm bells had been well and truly justified.

Feeling bold, because of my obviously successful spying technique, I parked a few houses up and after five minutes had passed I walked back to David and Larissa's house to examine their letterbox. I was hoping to find a letter in it that would tell me what their real names were. It was a good theory, but they had a small padlock on the letterbox, so that didn't work. I went home and sat down with Liz.

"I had a girl try to pick me up in the pub this evening," I said, and she looked startled.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Was she pretty?" Liz asked nervously.

"Very," I replied, "and very young."

"That's a coincidence," she said, "um... did you..."

"No," I said, "it was too much of a coincidence. But I did follow her home to see where she lives." Liz frowned.

"Why?"

"I am trying to find out what is going on," I explained, "she lives with David." That got her attention.

"How do you know where David lives?" she asked.

"I followed him the second time." Liz shook her head.

"Why?" she asked, "what are they up to?"

"I don't know," I said, "but I intend to find out." Liz nodded and we left it at that. It had been pretty much the longest and most serious conversation we had since the discussion after my weekend away.

I decided that the first thing I needed to find out was who these people were, so I went into my office and prepared an envelope. I knew they lived at 48 Regionale Street Doncaster East, and that they were using the names David and Larissa, but that was all I knew. I needed a lot more information. The following day found me door knocking the neighbouring houses in Regionale Street, and on the third one I hit pay dirt.

"Yes," the woman behind the screen door asked curtly.

"Hi," I said cheerfully, "my name is Craig Harrison and I live in Freys Road." Freys Road was a few streets away.

"I had a letter delivered to me by mistake and I am trying to find out who it is for, but they have left the street number off." I held up the envelope I had prepared.

"Oh," the woman sounded much more friendly now, "that is considerate of you, what does it say?"

"It's addressed to a Ms. L. something... I think Davis or something, but it is hard to read, and has Regionale Street Doncaster East. Do you know if that fits any one around here?" She didn't hesitate.

"We are the Greigs here, and I am Anne, so it can't be us. Next door that side is Frank Holmes, he lives alone, and on the other side is Sue and Jason Tan." From the sound of her voice I would guess she didn't like having Asians next door. Over the road is David and Larissa Furness, and next door them is..."

She continued on for a while, naming all the residents that she could.

"No," I finally said, "none of them fit, but thanks so much. I will go further down the road and see how I go."

"OK," she said, "good luck."

Not long after that I was back at home doing some searching. I found Larissa on Facebook, and she didn't have any protection on her account. From her posts I could see she was a beauty therapist, and there was a salon, Sammy's Pampering, in one of her photos. I rang them and said my wife had asked me to check when Larissa was next working. They said she would be there on the weekend and asked if I wanted to make an appointment. I said I would talk to my wife and get back to them when I knew what time would suit. David, on the other hand, was harder to find. If he was on Facebook his account had the privacy settings up pretty high and I couldn't see it. What I ended up doing was creating a new and fictitious LinkedIn account in the name of Craig Harrison, and then I went searching. David turned out to be a trainee lawyer working for Anderson and Phillips. From there I had to wait until Liz got home, but when I told her their full names, and asked her if there was any link between either of their workplaces and hers. I already had seen there was no link to mine.

"No,"' she said after a while, "I have never heard of either of them."

"Damn," I said, "I have got so far, but I still can't see the connection."

"I have an idea, but it is rather silly," Liz said, and I looked up at her. This was the first really active interest she had shown in the process.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Let's ask them."

"Huh?" I was confused.

"Let's just sit them down and ask them why they have been doing this." I thought about it, and I smiled.

"That's not silly, that's brilliant," I said, and I smiled at her. She smiled back. I think a few cracks finally started to appear in the walls we had built between us.

My phone chirped, indicating a message, and I looked at it.

It read 'cant wait 4 next wed luv L XXX'. I pushed the phone across to Liz. She read it and raised her eyebrows.

"Her?"

"Yes."

"She's keen." I nodded, and she slid my phone back.

"If we do this," I said, "we will only get one shot, and we have to look totally comfortable with each other. They can't suspect we have problems." Liz thought about that one.

"I can do that," she said, "can you?"

"Yes," I replied, hoping it was true.

"OK, what's the plan?"

We talked about it for a while, and then went into action. I rang a pretty good restaurant and made a reservation for four people for the next Wednesday evening. Then we wrote an invitation.

George and Elisabeth Fitzsimons

Request the company of

David and Larissa Furness

At the Moonlight Garden Restaurant

47 Leroy Lane Templestowe

Next Wednesday, the 4th of May

At 8.00pm

Bring all of the relevant documentation

(If retribution was planned it would have occurred when you were not expecting it)

RSVP not required but it would be in your best interest to attend

We put it in an envelope and sent it that night. I had three more texts from Larissa over the next two days, and then they stopped. I guess that told us when the invitation had arrived. At home things were getting a bit better. We still slept in the same bed, even though we did not do anything more that sleep. But we were talking now, real conversations that were not as awkward and stilted as they previously had been. Our walls were slowly being undermined.

We did what we could to plan for the meeting, but there were just so many variables. On the Wednesday night we dressed to impress, Liz in an elegant dark blue gown that was very flattering on her, and me in an expensive suit.

"Here we go," I said, and she smiled nervously. I stepped to her, hugged her and then I kissed her. We were both tense, but the kiss slowly changed from a reluctant one to a passionate one, and before long we were hugging each other tight. At last our walls were crumbling. We eventually stopped kissing and I moved back a step.